My mom arrived home a half-hour later and squeezed us tight for ten minutes. She was crying, and soon enough, so was I. I hadn’t realized how much I missed her after all this time. In fact, I hadn’t realized how much I missed where I grew up. Home Sweet Home.
“I just can’t believe you guys are really here!” my mom gushed, wiping away her tears of joy.
“Well, it’s been long enough. We missed you. And…I need to see Liam’s gravesite.”
“Liam’s gravesite?” she asked, confused.
“Yeah…I think it’s time I tell Stella about her father and show her where he is. And I need to say goodbye. It’s time.”
“Oh, honey.” She brushed her fingers on my wet cheeks. “You know he is always with you and Stella no matter what. But you deserve to be happy. You both do,” she said reassuringly. She hadn’t been there for me when he passed away, but she was doing her best to make up for it now.
“I know, mom. But it’s been difficult moving on, even after all these years. I want to be happy, but I need to do this. Liam was my first love, and for me to love anyone else fully, I need to tell him I will always love him, no matter what. I need the reassurance that it’s okay to move on,” I paused, waiting for her to react. “I met someone, mom. And he is wonderful. I’m falling for him, and it makes me feel conflicted – for loving someone else, and for thinking about the future. I need to do this.”
She grabbed me, pulling me in for a hug, and held me tight. I had never told her how much I was still suffering on the inside. She never brought up Liam’s name when we talked on the phone, but I’m sure she did that to avoid any sad feelings for me.
“Sweetheart, you are an amazing person and mother. Liam would be so proud of you and your accomplishments. He would be so proud of how you are raising his daughter, and he’d be happy that you are moving on. I understand you need to do this. You deserve to be happy, and feel loved again.” She kissed my forehead and continued hugging me. There was no feeling like this. My mom and I hadn’t talked and hugged like this in years. I missed her so much.
CHAPTER 10
That evening, I took Stella to see my dad. He was just as shocked as my mom was to see us. I didn’t tell him about seeing Liam because I just didn’t have the energy to talk about it again, and I didn’t want Stella seeing me upset. He swooped in for a hug and kissed Stella on both of her cheeks. He was beyond excited to see us after all this time; it made my heart melt.
“Molly! I can’t believe you guys are here! I have missed this little bug!” he gushed, continuing to squeeze us.
“We missed you too, Dad. We are only here for the weekend though. I have to get back for my internship on Monday.”
“How is the internship, darling? Learning a lot?”
“It’s great. I love it. And yes, learning tons,” I said, with hidden meaning.
For the next hour, we caught up and watched Stella play with his dogs, chasing them around his condo. I briefly told him about Drake and our new relationship. Michael and I took Stella out to dinner and invited my dad and my mom. It’s been years since they’ve been in the same room together, but it was a short visit and I wanted to make the most of the time we had.
The evening went better than I had expected. Stella kept both my parents busy even though it was awkward for them. She told them about her school, her friend Bobby that she likes, and about meeting mommy’s new friend, Drake.
Oh thanks, Stella-bug.
The next morning while making breakfast, I decided to tell Stella about her father. She has never really asked about him. I think since Michael has been in the picture for so long, she didn’t really notice. I was waiting until Stella was old enough to understand before mentioning her father. Today was that day.
“Sweetie, mommy has some important things to tell you. We need to talk about your daddy.” I pulled her onto my lap.
“Who’s my daddy?” she asked with curiosity.
“Well…his name was Liam. He was so excited when he found out you were coming. He loved you so much. When you were just a baby, he died in a car accident. And I know he misses you very much.” I tried to hold back tears. It saddened me every day knowing that he wasn’t here to watch her grow up and that he’d never see her on her first day of kindergarten, her first dance, her first boyfriend, walk her down the aisle, or meet his grandchildren.
She just stared at me, unsure of how to respond. I could see she was confused. “We are going to go visit his gravesite today, sweetie. I want you to see where he is buried.”
“Okay, mommy. Why are you sad?” she asked, concerned as she saw my eyes swell up.
“I just miss your daddy, that’s all, baby. But I’m so very happy he gave me you!” I said, playfully squeezing her nose.
Michael came with us to the cemetery, allowing me some alone time beside Liam’s grave without Stella. She was pretty confused by the situation, but I did my best to explain everything to her.
Once we got to his headstone, I knelt down and pulled Stella on my lap. I held back tears as best as I could, but a few slipped down.
“Stella, this is where your daddy’s buried. Do you have any questions?”
“Can I tell him about my friends at school?” she asked, unsure of what to do.
“Of course, honey. Tell him anything you want.” I squeezed her tighter.
Stella smiled and touched the stone with her hands. She told him about her best friends, Kylee and Mackenzie, told him her favorite character is Elmo, and said she wished she had met him. It was such a relief to have her here with me. I was glad she finally knew about him. She took Michael’s hand and walked back to the car. I stayed behind needing a few moments to myself.
“Liam, I miss you. So much. I wish you were still here. Stella looks so much like you. I think about you every day, but I need to tell you that I’m finally read to move on. I will always love you, Liam James Weston, and I will never forget you. You were my first love and my best friend. I believe that you are with Stella and me every day. I met a great man. His name is Drake. He is kind and wonderful, and I think even Stella approves,” I chuckled a little at Stella’s first reaction when she saw Drake. “And I just needed to tell you. I needed you to know that even though I am moving on, you will never be forgotten, and you will always have my heart. I love you.” Tears rolled down my cheeks. “Goodbye, Liam.” I kissed my fingers and gently touched his headstone. I stood up, glanced at his stone one more time, and walked back to the car.
I wiped my wet cheeks and got back in the car with Stella and Michael. Michael looked at me with approval and started the car. I glanced back at Stella as she was smiling at the window. I was happy to experience this with Stella even if I was unsure just how much she understood.
I decided to call Drake once we got back to my mother’s house. Stella was busy playing with my mom, and Michael was catching up on his writing.
“Hey, baby, how’s everything going?” he asked, answering the phone.
“Pretty good. My parents love spoiling Stella. It’s great to see them.”
“So I need to tell you something. Don’t freak out,” he pleaded and sounded worried.
“Oh my God, what’s wrong?” I panicked.
“Baby, don’t freak out, I said. I found out who is behind the pictures. And I’m taking care of it. But we need to keep under the radar for a little bit until it blows over.”
“I’m confused. If you know who it is, why do we have to keep under the radar?”
“Her name is Kendra Kingston. She was my college girlfriend, and she’s the friend of someone on my security team. I caught her on camera talking to one of them, and negotiating a deal. She comes from a very rich and intense family, so that’s why it needs to be under the radar. I need to handle her gently. She’s used to getting her way, and when she called recently asking to get together, I shot her down. And now she’s trying to get revenge, as she found out about you.” He took a breath, finally allowing it to fully sink in… Holy shit… Kendra.<
br />
“Is that the same Kendra I heard you yelling at on the phone at one in the morning?”
“Yeah… you heard? She can be a bit intense. She’s not interested in the money, Molly. She just wants to rattle you. She won’t expose those photos, but the more public we become, the more intense she’ll get. But don’t worry, I’ll take care of her,” he said, trying to sound calm.
“So your ex is a psycho, trying to blackmail me to get back at you? This is absurd!” I was furious.
“Honey, calm down. Everything’s going to be just fine…”
“Everything is not fine!” I cut him off. “I didn’t come all the way out here to say goodbye to my first love so I could finally give my heart to you, only to be run off by some crazy psycho bitch!” I ranted.
“Wait, what? I’m lost.”
I took a deep breath. I rambled that off too quickly to rationalize why I told him any of that.
“You are the first man I’ve been with since Liam, Drake. I needed to say goodbye to Liam so I could give you my whole heart. This wasn’t easy for me. I felt so guilty for loving you. And now you’re telling me your ex wants to separate us?” I sputtered.
There was silence at the end of the line. I thought maybe he passed out. Then I realized I just confessed my love for him.
“Molly,” Drake finally said. He took in a deep breath. “I love you, too. I know this is sudden, and we’re moving fast, but I have never been so sure of anything in my entire life. I understand this is scary for you, but I promise you, I’m not going anywhere,” Drake spilled his feelings out to me. I couldn’t believe what I had just heard. My heart was racing and my hands were shaking.
“I…can’t believe you just said all that,” I gushed, holding back tears. “That is exactly what I needed to hear today, Drake. Thank you so much. I love you.”
“I love you, too. Baby, I want to be one hundred percent honest with you. I don’t want you going anywhere. I love you. I want you. And if you ever have any doubts, you just need to talk to me.” Drake had such a warm heart. It was a side most people never saw.
By Monday morning, things seemed back to normal. I finally got the closure I needed from Liam’s death, and the reassurance from Drake. We were in love, and I couldn’t wait to see what our future held.
I walked into the internship kitchen with a huge smile. I felt great. The weekend trip was a success, Stella got to see her grandparents, and Drake and I confessed our love for each other. I couldn’t be happier!
“What’s up, slut?” Blakely said as I sat down next to her. I gave her a shocked look.
“Um….what did you just call me?” I glared at her, noticing everyone’s eyes were suddenly on me. They were staring at me like I was on fire. “Why is everyone staring at me?” What the hell?
“Ohh….maybe just because you’re sleeping with the manager. Is that how you got your internship?” Blakely asked with a sneer. Fucking hell…how did that happen?
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I lied, hoping I sounded convincing.
“Blakely, back off!” Travis snapped from behind me.
“What the hell is going on?” I demanded.
Blakely took her phone out of her pocket and showed me an email with four pictures of Drake and me having sex--in that very kitchen. I couldn’t believe it. What the hell…Kendra! I felt sick.
“Who sent you that?”
“I don’t know…does it matter? It’s true, isn’t it?” Blakely stared me down.
“Who was this sent to?”
“Everyone in the internship. We all got the same email.” Blakely looked at me as if she in disapproval. Or maybe she was just jealous.
Before I could react, Mr. Cooper entered the room, demanding our attention. Today was not going to be a good day.
CHAPTER 11
I spent the first half of the day in a daze. I was furious on the inside. I wondered who else had seen the photos. I wouldn’t know how to explain this to my family back in Iowa if the photos leaked to the press. I would be so humiliated.
“So Drake was the person you were seeing when I asked you out?” Travis came up behind me, and quietly asked. I nodded but couldn’t look him in the eyes. I could tell he was trying to be genuine, but the fact was he had intimate photos of me. Just like everyone else…
I kept to myself, and avoided Blakely. I had to go see Drake as soon as possible and get this mess figured out. I couldn’t focus on anything. The more I thought about it, the worse I felt. I was hot, sweating, my breath coming in short pants. I was having another panic attack.
I ran into the freezer to cool off and avoid having an audience. I was starting to shake. I was burning up and felt like I was suffocating. I ripped my chef’s coat and apron off, and then yanked my shoes off. It wasn’t enough, and soon my undershirt and pants came off too. I fell to my knees, leaning against the shelves for support.
Crunched up against the shelves on my knees, wearing only my bra and panties, I heard the door open. My hands covered my head without even realizing it. Travis walked in and stood right in front of me.
“Molly? What are you doing? Are you all right?” Travis dropped to his knees, grabbing my arms.
“I think so,” I mumbled, trying to inhale and exhale slowly through my nose— something I had learned from my therapist years ago when I first started having panic attacks.
He brushed his hands up and down my arms trying to warm me. “Molly, you don’t have clothes on. You’re going to freeze to death.”
“Good,” I snapped. I want to freeze to death.
“Get up. Right now.” He reached his hand out for me to grab it. I stared at him, not able to put my hand in his.
“Just leave me alone, Travis. I’m already humiliated. I can’t go back out there now,” I whined in desperation.
“Not happening, Molly. You’ll get hyperthermia or something. At least get dressed,” he insisted.
I gave in. “Okay, fine.” I reached up and grabbed his hand, allowing him to pull me up. I was shaky still and stumbled, of course, and ended up smack against his chest. He placed his right hand on my lower back to steady me.
I squeezed my eyes shut with embarrassment. Standing almost naked in a freezer and tripping into Travis…could it get any worse? Suddenly the door sprung open. Apparently, it can.
“Holy shit, Molly. Having sex on the kitchen counter wasn’t enough for you, now you had to move it to the freezer?” Blakely stood there with the door wide open for everyone to see. Fuck me…
“Oh, my God!” I panicked at the realization of the situation. “This is not what it looks like,” I exclaimed, trying to cover myself up behind Travis.
“Blakely, close the door!” Travis ordered, as he helped me pick up my remaining clothes from the floor.
“Does your boyfriend know you’re a slut?” Blakely snarled, pinning me in the freezer with her eyes.
With only my pants and bra on, I pushed past Travis and stood face-to-face with Blakely, chest heaving and anger surging. She stood there, surprised and unable to speak. I whipped my shirt over my head and shoved past her. Everyone stood shell-shocked as I blazed through the kitchen doors and onto Drake’s office, sobbing the whole way.
I rushed past Drake’s receptionist and burst into his office, where Drake stood, staring out the windows yelling on the phone. I heard the receptionist close the door behind me.
“This is unacceptable! You’d better figure it out, or you’re fired!” Drake screamed. As he turned around, he noticed me sitting there. His face fell as he saw my bloodshot eyes. Well, I had cried the whole way up here.
“Baby!” he slammed the phone down and came to my side. “Are you all right?”
“No. I’m not.” My face fell into my hands to cover my face.
It was like he knew. He could read my soul and see right through me. He grabbed my face with his hands and kissed me. He pressed firmly on my lips, slowly easing all the anxiety and stress out of my body. He was the anchor to my
heart – He anchored me; he helped me stay on my feet. He gave me hope, knowing our love was steadfast.
“Baby, listen. I’m working on it. The photos got leaked. I’m so, so sorry…but I’m fixing it, I promise!” He sounded so genuine, like he was afraid to lose me.
“Love anchors the soul…” I mumbled, trying to remember the Bible verse that I loved.
“And as long as you are mine, we will never sink,” he replied.
“I have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm, and secure.” I recited to him.
For the past four years, I felt like a stranded ship – as if the past were an anchor, keeping me from moving forward. Now I wanted to use that anchor to keep me safe in the storm of this disaster. It was hope. Love. Strength. I was ready. I am ready.
I flashed back to the time I took a sexy picture of myself for Liam. I wanted to do something special for his eighteenth birthday, and given that I was only sixteen, we had to keep the picture private. Unfortunately, Liam’s younger brother found it, and made dozens of photocopies, spreading it all over the school. I was devastated. I could only imagine how awful this could turn out.
That night Drake finally was able to trace the email that had gone out. He had underestimated his ex-lover, Kendra. Apparently, she would do whatever necessary to get his attention. She was slowly humiliating me – first the blackmail, then emailing it to all my peers…
What was next? Social media? Press?
Drake refused to play her games; instead, he would blackmail her back.
“How are you going to do that?” I asked curiously.
“Don’t worry, babe. I have private photos of her, too. Photos she would never want to public,” he said nonchalantly, offering no further explanation.
My face fell. Pictures of her? Did he take them? Or maybe she sent them to him? I had so many questions, but now wasn’t the time to ask.
The rest of the week was a blur. Going to my internship and classes were now an anxiety attack waiting to happen. I avoided Blakely at all costs. Travis remained close by, defending me if anyone even looked at me wrong. He was like my superhero big brother.
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