* * *
“Good mornin’, sweetheart.” A soft, southern tone whispers in my ear. I roll to my side and open my eyes to take a peek at his bare, muscular chest.
“Stop being so damn hot,” I moan, covering my eyes with my arm to block the sunlight.
I hear him laughing as he pulls the covers off me. “Sorry, I don’t run with a shirt on, sweetheart. Guess you’ll just have to stare and suffer,” he teases, picking me up off the bed and carrying me to the bathroom. “Now get ready. Time for our run.”
“But it’s Saturday,” I whine, frustrated that he has energy and I don’t. He pats my butt and pushes me in the bathroom to get ready.
I get a look at myself in the mirror and I hardly recognize myself. I’m happy, which scares the bejesus out of me. I want to be happy, of course I do, but I also feel vulnerable in this state. Part of me can’t let go completely — too afraid of getting hurt, or worse, hurting him.
I shake off my insecurities for the moment, wash my face and comb through my rat’s nest on top of my head. How Eric can find this sexy is beyond me.
“If you aren’t out in ten seconds, I’m coming in after you.” I hear Eric tease through the door. “Did you fall back asleep?”
“No.” I whip the door open. “Can’t a girl freshen up for her man?” I wag an eyebrow at him, pushing him back as I exit the bathroom.
“Why, yes she can.” I desperately want to skip my run this morning—which has never happened to me before—but with Eric, all I want to do is be around him as much as possible.
“What do you say we crawl back into bed for another few hours?” I tease, standing on my tiptoes to tug his lower lip between my teeth. He lets out a husky moan, making a smile appear on my face as I see the sparkle in his eyes shine back down on me. He licks his lower lip, hesitating, wanting to take me up on my offer.
“Ugh, you are horrible,” he groans, wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me in close. “But no. Run first.” I give him my best pouty face, but it’s no use.
We run a good five miles before I finally beg him to call it quits. I run for pleasure mostly, but Eric runs for sport. I can hardly keep up with him, but part of me loves the fact that he pushes me to do better and to keep going.
We walk hand in hand back to my apartment. His body is covered in sweat, but somehow it’s insanely hot. I chew my lip as I stare at him, wishing I were the sweat touching his body right now.
“Stop drooling,” he whispers close to my ear. He loves torturing me. He will just barely touch me or graze my ear to see how frustrated I get. I glare at him as he escorts me through the doorway into the kitchen. “You shower while I make breakfast.” He gives me a grin and it still drives me insane how sexy he looks even after a five-mile run.
“Are you even for real? I mean, c’mon. That’s not even fair to most men.” I wave my hand up and down his body, emphasizing how built and perfect his body is.
“Does this feel real?” he whispers seductively against my ear, pressing his firm body against mine. He wraps his arms around my waist pulling me up. My arms wrap around his neck as my legs instinctively wrap around his waist.
Before I can respond, he crushes his lips to mine, leaving me completely powerless to protest. How does he do that? The kiss starts out desperate, eager, and strong, but slows down to a passionate, loving kiss. God, all his kisses are fan-frigging-tastic.
My hands cling to his hair, pressing my fingers through the strands, urging him deeper into my mouth. He moans as I sink my tongue in deeper, urging him to continue. He presses my body against the fridge, scattering the magnets , which make a light, smacking sound as they reach the floor. I giggle a little at the way his frantic, needy hands grasp my hips, pressing us further into each other. I can feel his arousal between my thighs, which is desperately matched as I clench my thighs together, squeezing his torso.
“Stop,” he moans in between kisses, slowing our lips down.
“Never,” I vow, not wanting to end the kiss just yet.
He laughs at my lame attempt, breaking the kiss and leaning his forehead against mine. “This is not going slow, Velaney. I can hardly control myself around you on a good day, but this is just damn torture.” I feel his smile against my skin. I know he’s trying to be the gentleman and not pressure me into anything too quickly, but something overtakes me when I’m around him. I don’t care about any of that. I don’t think of the consequences or the possibilities of this ending badly. I just don’t care. I want him, my body begs for him, and there’s just no controlling that. Not that I want to control it necessarily…
“I don’t care. I want you,” I mumble against him, begging his lips to be on me again.
“You cannot say stuff like that, Vel. I won’t be able to stop once we start. You have no idea how much I want you, but I’m not going to let you get all wrapped up in a weak moment.” Damn him…he’s right.
Sexually frustrated and a little hurt from being rejected, I release my legs from his waist and lower my feet to the floor. I don’t want to look at him, not because I’m upset, but because I want him so badly…so freaking badly.
I see the eagerness in him just as much as I feel it in me and it makes me laugh as I leave him in the kitchen by himself. We need to separate for a minute while we collect ourselves again. I know he’s right…but part of me doesn’t want him to be right. I was ready and willing to throw myself at him…for my first time ever wanting it…and he throws my words back at me. Ugh, talk about a blow to the ego.
* * *
The next three weeks go like clockwork. Eric and I run almost every morning together. I go to work, then either work at the bar at night or see Eric after his shifts. We’ve become completely comfortable around each other. Eric continues teasing and torturing me as he whispers in my ear, rubs his hands up and down my sides, grazes his lips across my neck and wraps my legs around his waist. It’s the most amazing torture I’ve ever felt.
Eric is taking this “going slow” thing extremely seriously. I love that part of him. He doesn’t push me, yet he’s not afraid to show me how badly he wants me. Often we reach a point where neither of us wants to stop, yet one of us is always breaking the tension before things go too far. I’m certain Eric is afraid of screwing this up, as am I, so he wants to make sure that when I say I’m ready…I’m really ready.
He’s never asked, and I’m not sure that he will, but I never slept with my ex-boyfriend, Jake. I just never felt that connection…that spark…that need. Jake was a sweet boyfriend, he just wasn’t what I wanted or needed at the time. I’ve never slept with anyone before. Truth be told, before Eric, I never gave it any consideration. I was raised to believe in waiting for marriage, and even though that was originally my plan, I now know I want Eric to be that person for me…my first. Of course, I want to be in love first, but my gut instinct knows that I’m already on track for that. I always want to be around him…I care for him so deeply…I ache just to feel his touch.
“Oh dear Lord, you’ve become one of those girls, haven’t you?” Carissa badgers, taking me out of my thoughts.
“Huh?” I look up at her, not hearing a word she just said. I lean my head on my fist as I sit at the breakfast bar. Carissa is attempting to make breakfast.
“I knew it. You’re in deep, girl.” She smiles at me, making me roll my eyes at her.
“I think I’m in deeper than deep,” I admit, wishing so hard that nothing ever changes that.
“I can’t believe it. Velaney Wills is in love.” She waves her arms around as if she has just dusted fairy-powder over me.
“I’m not in love. I don’t think so. Maybe. No. Not yet. It’s too soon,” I stammer, rambling, unable to make up my mind. How do you know when it turns to love, anyway?
She huffs a laugh, smiling big at me. “Shut your pie hole, Laney. You are in love so bad! It’s written all over your face.”
“How do you know?” I ask, seriously this time. “I mean, how do you know when it’s
love or just lust?” I’ve seen a ton of chick flicks with Carissa over the years. Girls were so quick to fall in love, but is that real life? Does that actually happen?
“I don’t know, Laney. I’ve never been in love. I don’t want to be in love just yet. But you, my dear, are in love. I’ve never seen you break down your walls for anyone. Not even Jake. And that poor bastard waited two damn years for it to happen. So, trust me when I tell you this, Laney. You, my darling, are in love.”
Holy shitcakes.
CHAPTER 13
Perhaps it’s true. Am I in love? Could I really be in love? I mean, isn’t it too soon? Isn’t there a timeline for these things? I’m so wrapped up in my thoughts that I don’t hear Eric coming into my room and laying down next to me.
“You know, you look the most adorable when you aren’t even trying. Like right now. Just huddled in your bed, under the covers, staring at the ceiling. Not only are you adorable, you look so damn sexy.” Eric leans in close, grazing my ear with his soft lips. I can smell his body wash and cologne on him; he must have just taken a shower. He sends shivers down my body as his hand rubs up and down my side, stopping every few seconds to draw little circles.
I turn to face him—chest to chest—and without saying a word, crash my lips to his. I had already decided before he came over tonight that I was ready. I want him. I’m practically dying to get him inside me. However, the fact that he may or may not know about my lack of experience scares the living crap out of me. Will he think of me differently?
I’m completely drowning in my thoughts as the kiss deepens—the intensity floods over my body slamming us closer together. I inhale his scent again, making every part of me want him so much more.
I lower my hands to the bottom of his shirt and rub my palms up and down his bare skin. His abs are insanely chiseled, making perfect indents in his skin. I clench my fingers into him harder, letting him feel my eagerness. I rub a finger up to his nipple ring and tug slightly, making sure to be gentle, yet determined.
I slide my hands back down again, pulling his shirt up, determined to get the shirt off as soon as possible. A low growl escapes his throat as I throw his shirt to the floor and press my body close to his once again. I can feel his excitement as I sling one leg over his hip, pulling him hard against me.
“Oh, fuck, baby,” he moans, and my lips freeze on his. “Oh, sweetheart, I’m sorry. It slipped. It’s just…you drive me absolutely insane.”
I swallow. I close my eyes, pushing the images out of my head as hard as I can. I feel his hand cupping my cheek, rubbing his thumbs against me. I know it’s just a word, but have you ever had a smell, or a flower, or a color bring you back to a memory? Well, that’s what the F bomb does for me…right away. The strange thing is it only happens when Eric says it. Perhaps it’s his low, deep husky voice that does it, but whatever it is, it kills the mood instantly.
“It’s okay,” I choke out, opening my eyes again. “I know you didn’t mean to say it,” I assure him. I don’t want him to get frustrated and think I can’t handle being intimate with him.
“No, baby. I know better. I’m sorry. Can we please just forget it? I swear, it won’t happen again,” he pleads, rubbing his nose against my ear, whispering against my neck. It sends chills down my body, making me smile at how eager he is to touch me.
“You fucking look at me when I’m talking to you!” Aiden’s scream silences me. I slowly turned my face up to look at him through cloudy eyes. I cried every night and that night was no exception. Aiden was messed up again, reeking of alcohol. After putting up with him for a year, I knew when he’d been drinking.
“Please, don’t,” I pleaded weakly, but it was all I had.
“Fuck, shut up, Lane. You need to pay! Pay dammit!” he yelled louder that time, making me jump. I was plastered against my headboard again, clenching my legs to my chest.
Aiden was the perfect son during the day. At least, that’s what he portrayed. Either my parents let him get away with whatever, because he was the firstborn son, or they simply didn’t want a feud. Either way, they were all cowards.
“I’m sorry, Eric. This is so stupid! I wish it wasn’t this way.” I slam my hands over my face, embarrassed. “You are going to get sick of me.”
He grabs my hands and lowers them so he can see me. He’s smiling, pressing kisses to my palms.
“You are not stupid. You are beautiful. Whatever it is… whatever you are going through…I will handle it. Don’t worry about me. I don’t want you to worry about it. Promise?”
I simply nod, overwhelmed by how amazing Eric truly is. He’s such a tough guy on the outside, but for some reason with me, he’s so much more. Sensitive. Caring. Charming.
“You want to talk about it?” he asks, staring directly into my eyes. I know he deserves the truth. He needs to know, but I’m afraid I won’t get the words out.
“I want you to know, Eric, really I do. But I just don’t know that I can talk about it. He did terrible things to me,” I admit, digging my head deeper into his chest.
We stay silent a few moments before I finally speak up again. “It started when I was eight years old,” I confess, taking a few deep breaths. “He would come into my room at night after my parents went to sleep and make me do horrible things to him. He would swear and yell at me until I did them. He would tell me I had to pay for the sins I’d committed. At the time, I believed him, thinking I needed to pay for the bad things I did. But not long after it started, he became more aggressive…more demanding. I tried telling my parents, but they were more worried about their image than taking me seriously. They thought I was lying and making it up, which makes absolutely no sense to me considering all they had to do was take me to a doctor and get an exam. After a year or so, it became routine. I stopped fighting it, stopped trying to scream for help because that would only make him enjoy it more and he’d be more aggressive in pinning me down.” I pause, letting everything sink in, letting myself breathe in and out. “The first time I ever swore was the first night Aiden came into my room. He was drunk and convinced me I had to pay for saying such a bad word. Ever since then, I haven’t been able to swear. It brings me back to the moment, to hearing his voice say those words. It reminds me what those words did to me, and I associate them with bad things happening to me.
“When Aiden finally left for college, I thought I was in the clear, but he still made his way back during holiday and summer breaks. No matter how many times I tried to tell my parents, they wouldn’t do anything about it. Aiden was their ‘perfect son.’ My mother once told me I needed to pray and ask God for forgiveness—for lying. As soon as I turned eighteen, Carissa and I moved in together and I haven’t spoken to them since.”
“I can’t even imagine…I don’t know what to say, sweetheart.” His voice cracks. I know what I just revealed is a lot to handle. But I can’t continue our relationship any longer without him knowing the full truth…the full me.
“You don’t have to say anything, Eric. I know I have a lot of emotional baggage. And you needed to know just how much before we got in too deep and you realized I was too messed up.”
“Don’t peg me just yet, sweetheart. What happened to you was completely out of your control and doesn’t define who or what you are. He covers my cheeks with his palms and raises my head up. His eyes are soft, sincere…perfect. How is it that this man can have all the qualities I never knew I needed? “We don’t have to rush anything. We will only do what’s comfortable for you. I promise I’m not going anywhere.” He smiles at me, almost taking my breath away before he plunges his lips to mine, sealing everything he just said with a kiss.
“Will you stay with me tonight?” I ask, breaking the kiss. I feel so secure when I’m wrapped in his arms; there’s no better feeling than being surrounded by him.
“You couldn’t tear me out of this bed if you tried.” He grins, placing a light kiss on my forehead. I turn around so my back is to his chest, letting his solid arms wrap around me lik
e a blanket. It’s heavenly…the most peace I’ve ever felt in my entire life.
He brushes my hair off my neck and lays perfectly wet kisses down my shoulder and back up to my ear. The way his kisses feel against me are the most remarkable touches I’ve ever felt. The way his lips can make my entire body shiver, desperate for his touch even more, is so overwhelming. I’ve never wanted someone’s touch so bad. I’ve never been eager to have someone around me like I am with Eric. He’s it for me. My hero.
I fall asleep somewhere between his ear nibbling and his lips devouring my neck. Right before sleep takes over, I swear I hear him say, “I love you.” I want to push my eyes open and beg him to say it again, but for now, I just enjoy the moment and press myself into him deeper.
My eyes bolt open at the sound of Eric’s loud pager. He rolls off the bed , grabs it, and turns it to silent.
“Oh, shoot,” I hear him mumble. I turn and face him as he pulls his shirt over his head and scrambles to find his shoes.
“Are you leaving?” I ask, rubbing the sleep from my eyes. I have no idea what time it is, but it’s still dark out.
“Yeah, sorry, sweetheart. I’m being called in, which means it’s something big. I’ll call you as soon as I can,” he whispers in my ear, kissing me hard on the lips before walking out the door. I always feel nervous when Eric goes out on major calls. It’s heart-wrenching to know that he risks his life, but I couldn’t be more proud.
“Lane, wake up!” Carissa shakes me awake, startling me from my deep sleep.
“What is it?” I crack my eyes open, squinting from the bright sun that’s shining through.
“The old high school is on fire. It’s all over the news! I can see the dark smoke from the living room windows.” Suddenly, my eyes pop open as I remember Eric leaving early this morning. Or was it late last night?
“Dang, Eric got called out for that. Is it bad?” I ask, searching for my sweater.
Alphas & Millionaires Starter Set Page 32
