As night turns into morning, even before the sun rises, I wake up and decide I need to have him one more time. He’s sleeping peacefully by my side as I place kisses up his arm, to his shoulder, then his neck and eventually his lips. He wakes up and kisses me back, feeling my urgency to have him again.
This time it’s slow, sensual and exhilarating. I let him set the pace as he grinds into me, making my body quiver every time he thrusts into me. He slams into me harder and harder before I release around him. The way his hands caress my skin, leaving little tingles behind, the way his lips move across my skin, leaving wet, passionate kisses…it’s perfect. The perfect way to say goodbye.
* * *
We fall asleep tangled in each other. The sun rising finally wakes me and I begin to plot my retreat. I have to make this whole thing believable so he won’t come after me. He needs to think I can’t handle the emotional aspects of a relationship. It’s going to be the hardest thing I’ve ever done.
I dress and quietly kiss Eric on the forehead. I whisper, “I love you. Always,” in his ear before tiptoeing out of his apartment.
I know what I have to do—but it’s killing me. It’s going to be nearly impossible living in the same building as him. I have to make sure we don’t awkwardly run into each other, which means I’ll have to plan my runs around his normal times.
Walking back to my apartment, I can’t keep the gut-wrenching stabbing feeling under control. I run into my bathroom as soon as I get to my apartment.
After I’m done hurling again, I step in the shower and let myself sob. Uncontrollably. Every memory of Eric, and of Eric and I together, floods my mind. The first time I felt his touch, every single time he’s come to my rescue…always protecting me and saving me, every time I pushed him away…
I should have never let him get close to me. This is more heartbreaking than I ever imagined possible.
I slowly get it together and crawl into my bed.
Step One—Avoid Eric
Eric calls me when he wakes up and I ignore it. I can’t take the constant calls so I turn my phone off completely. I know he’ll be at my door soon, so I tell Carissa to lie for me.
“Tell him I’m not home; make something up…whatever you have to do. Just don’t let him in, please.”
“What happened, Lane? You look like you’re panicking.” She sits on the couch next to me, curling her legs underneath her.
I have to lie. I can’t tell her the truth. “I slept with him. And now every time I see him, I have a panic attack,” I lie, knowing she’ll understand.
“Oh, Lane. You know I’m always here for you, but are you going to ruin the best thing that has ever happened to you?” I can tell she’s trying to sound sincere, which I love her for, but I need to convince her.
“I thought I loved him, Lane. But I was just looking for someone to replace the empty feeling inside me, and now that I’ve realized it, I have to end it before he gets hurt.” Even I’m proud of myself for how convincing I sound.
“Wow, Laney. I’m sorry. I’ll do whatever I can to keep him out of here, but he’s like three times my size, so no promises.” She smiles, making light of the situation.
“Thanks, Riss. I’m sorry to put you in the middle of all this.” She shrugs, knowing darn well I’ve done my duty of keeping old flings out of the apartment for her.
“No worries. I got this.” I inch closer to her and rest my head on her lap.
I hate this. I hate lying to my best friend, I hate being controlled by Aiden, I hate my parents and I hate myself…for putting Eric in danger.
We snuggle up on the sofa together and start watching one of Carissa’s infamous smutty movies. Tears start to flood down my cheeks, thinking of only the few times I had with Eric.
A loud pounding on the door startles me out of my lost thoughts. I jump off the couch and immediately run to my room and close the door. I know it’s Eric. I know I’m being a coward, but if I face him, I’ll break down and tell him everything.
“She’s not here, Eric,” I hear Carissa through the door.
“Where is she? I’ve been calling her all day.” I hear the pain in his voice, and I want to retract this completely stupid plan, but I can’t.
“I’m going to be honest with you, Eric,” Carissa lies. “She wants to break up with you and she’s not strong enough to tell you. She, um, is actually meeting with her ex-boyfriend right now.” Oh, God. I face palm my forehead, not believing the words that just came out of her mouth. Part of me wants to praise how brilliant she is for coming up with that suddenly, but the other part wants to smack her for bringing up my ex.
“What?” I hear him yell. Carissa apologizes on my behalf and tries to shut the door. “No, this is not right. She loves me! She needs me! I need her!” He’s shouting now, but I can hear the sobs he’s holding back. His voice is a mixture of pain and heartbreak.
God, I freaking hate this!
* * *
Eric continues to call and stop over for the next two weeks. My heart shatters every time I hear him calling for me through the door. I cry myself to sleep every single night, cursing my horrible, pointless life.
I make sure to run in the evenings instead of the mornings when I know Eric will be out. I check to make sure his car isn’t in the parking lot before I leave. When his car is in the lot, I use the staircase instead of the elevator, making sure I can’t possibly run into him.
I know it’s pathetic, but I have to.
I miss him. I miss him so freaking bad. His smell, his touch, the taste of his lips. I feel completely numb, empty and helpless…I just want to make this all go away.
“How ya doing, love?” Carissa asks, walking into the kitchen. I’m sitting on the bar stool with my head laying on the countertop. I don’t want to move…or breathe.
She notices my blank expression, and after hearing me groan, she pats her hand on my back, making soothing circles.
“It’ll be okay. The pain will pass.” She’s trying to be sincere, but she has no idea how much the pain will not pass. “And until it does, we drink!” she announces, digging through the cupboards until she finds two shot glasses.
A drink actually sounds perfect right now…anything to make the pain go away. She pours two shots of tequila and raises hers as she waits for me to do the same. We clink them together, making a familiar noise that I often hear at the bar. I pour the liquid down my throat, enjoying the burn it leaves behind. For the first time in a week, the burn distracts me from the real pain I’m feeling.
I slam the glass down, nodding to Carissa to pour me another one. We do this for three more rounds until I can no longer sit on the barstool. So this is why I don’t drink…
Carissa and I giggle all night together, talking about old memories of us in high school. It’s refreshing actually. I feel numb, pain free, and best of all—I feel nothing.
“Oh my God, do you remember that time in high school when you got caught making out with Aaron Matherson in English class?” We laugh together—clearly, the alcohol has taken over.
“Yes! Oh my God! He was a good kisser!” She giggles again. “I did detention for that guy! But it was sooo worth it!”
“Did he pop your lady cherry?” I ask, amused by the conversation. We slump on the couch together, laughing. Whoa, the room is spinning. Or maybe I am.
“Bah! Lady cherry? Are you kidding me? He would’ve been lucky to have my cherry!” She laughs back, scowling as she remembers Aaron dumping her soon after they were caught.
“Or the time you and that foreign exchange student got busted skinny dipping in the school pool?” My head falls back as I hysterically laugh at her facial expression.
“Ooh, yes, Raphael? Damn, that boy could kiss. And to be fair, I didn’t exactly understand him when he asked to go ‘boom-boom’ in the water. And once he stripped down, his rock hard abs distracted me.” She plays dumb, laughing at the old memories.
“In the pool?” I gasp. “Oh God, ew. Now I’m really glad I
never went in there.” We laugh together, reminiscing about our high school years.
This goes on until we both pass out on the couch together. I have no idea how late we stay up, but I wake up with the biggest hangover I’ve ever had.
“Oh, man…why did you make me drink so much last night?” I whine, holding my head in my hands.
“Why is the sun so fucking bright?” Carissa moans, gradually standing up, holding her hand to cover her eyes.
“Ugh, I have ringing in my ears,” I complain again, feeling weak and miserable.
“That’s not your ears, dumbass. It’s the freaking doorbell.”
“Oh.” She laughs as she makes her way to answer whoever is ringing the bell…over and over again.
“Oh, shit.” I hear her mumble. “She’s not home, Eric! Go away!” I duck into the couch, making myself invisible from his view. I hear Carissa trying to shut the door on him, but his foot interferes.
“Carissa, let me in. I don’t believe you. Something is wrong, and I need to see her.” His voice is quiet but firm.
I rise up just enough to see his face. It hurts to see him. But I still feel drunk, so I don’t think about that now.
“Riss, let him in,” I call, falling back on the couch.
“Velaney?” He barges through the door and runs toward me. He looks over the couch, looking concerned. “What’s wrong?”
“She’s hung over!” Carissa announces as she proceeds to slam the door behind her then wince in pain.
“You’re drunk?” he asks, surprise in his tone.
“Was drunk. Now I’m paying for it,” I mumble, trying to part my eyes open wider to look at him. God, he’s gorgeous. Even in distress and worry, he looks amazing.
“What the hell is going on? Why are you avoiding me? And not answering my calls? Not being home?”
“I broke up with you,” I mumble, forcing the words out of my mouth.
“No, Velaney. You did not. Something is wrong.”
His voice cracks, practically begging me to agree with him. I want to…I want to so freaking badly, but I have to keep up my act, otherwise, I’ll fall apart.
“Eric, it just isn’t going to work out. I’m sorry.” Even I don’t believe the words coming out of my mouth, but Eric doesn’t say anything back. He stays silent, just looking at me as if he’s waiting for me to pop up and say ‘just kidding!’ I wish I could. I wish I could crush my body to his and give him the world. But…I can’t. I love him too much to let anything else happen to him.
He walks away, not saying another word. I close my eyes until I hear the door slam behind him.
“Damn, that was cruel, Lane. I mean, I thought you two were going so well?” She plops her body back on the couch next to me, analyzing me for answers.
“I lied,” I finally admit. Perhaps it’s the alcohol still in my system, but I have to tell her the truth now. “I love him, Riss. I love him so fucking much!” I gush, covering my hands over my face to keep the emotions in, but they leak out anyway.
“What?” she squeals. She inches closer to me now. “What’s going on? Tell me the truth!” she demands, crossing her arms. She seems suddenly sober.
I sit up, preparing myself for the heartache all over again. I tell her about going to see my parents, about Aiden and about my suspicion that he has something over on my parents. She looks at me with her mouth wide open, unable to believe what I just told her.
“That fucking asshole!” she finally blurts out.
“There’s nothing I can do, Riss. There’s nothing any of us can do. Aiden will kill Eric if he sees us together. How can I risk that?”
“You kill that son-of-a-bitch first,” she says matter-of-factly.
“Oh, right. And what…risk going to prison?!”
“There has to be a better solution. I mean, you can’t let him control who you date.”
“He is everywhere, Riss! He’s always a step ahead of me. He practically threw Eric off a cliff. He probably has a whole team of creepers watching me, making sure I obey him. It’s like…he has some kind of supernatural power.”
The fact is…he does hold power over me. And my family. Would it ever end? Could it ever end? Even if I go to the police, I have no proof. It’ll be my word against his. Aiden will use his charm to get the police on his side anyway. I stand no chance.
“I have a plan.” Carissa stands up, grabbing my hand and leading me out of the living room. “Get dressed.”
CHAPTER 20
“What are we doing here?” I ask as Carissa pulls into a hardware store.
“Getting supplies,” she smirks, jerking the car into park. I have no idea what she’s implying, but I’m intrigued to find out.
We walk in and Carissa grabs a cart as I scan the store. I’ve never been in one of these stores before. It smells like sweaty musk and aftershave. Bad aftershave.
“So what are we getting?” I ask, walking beside her. She smiles at me as she grabs chains from a shelf in one of the aisles. “Chains?” I ask in surprise.
“You’ll see. I have a plan,” she says confidently. Carissa is many things, sometimes a royal pain in the arse, sometimes a real loud mouth, but sometimes…just sometimes, she is very resourceful.
She grabs rope, nails, a hammer, duct tape, zip ties, towels and a large pipe wrench. My mind is wondering what the hell she has in mind.
“Is this where you tell me to convert into a lesbian so we can do some kinky BDSM?” I tease, making light of the situation.
“Sorry, sweetheart. I don’t do virgins.”
“I’m not a virgin anymore!” I defend, shocked that I can even admit that.
“One man, pssh. Practically a virgin in my book.”
“You’re such a sleaze. It counts,” I mumble.
She smiles back at me and sticks her tongue out in defeat.
“Now what?” I ask as we finish paying and walk out to the car.
“Now we do what girls do best…kick some ass.”
* * *
I still have no clue what she has planned, but I’m for it. I don’t know where this side of me is coming from…perhaps it was seeing Eric for the first time in two weeks, or seeing how hurt and distraught he was, but I don’t mind. I like this Velaney.
It’s go time.
Carissa and I take the four-hour drive to my hometown. When we get close to my parents’ house, she slows down and parks about a block away.
“It’s time,” is all she says as she kills the engine and gets out. All our supplies are in the trunk and before grabbing them I ask, “Okay, now you have to tell me what we’re doing.”
“We are going to take back control, Lane. Show Aiden two…rather, three…can play this game, as well. Except, we play dirty. Aiden’s a big man-baby, which means your mother will probably have to cook him dinner, right?” I nod, agreeing with her. “We’re going to sneak in your house and wait until he’s sleeping. We’ll set up before he gets here and then…we’ll show him who is boss.” Her voice is strong and determined. It kind of freaks me out, seeing her this way, but I absolutely love her for it.
We grab our stuff and sneak to the backyard of my childhood home, hiding in some bushes by a back window that I know is never locked. I accidentally broke the lock when I was thirteen years old and never told my parents about it.
We both crawl through the window as quietly as possible. It’s a large house so odds are no one will hear us as long as everyone is in the living room or kitchen. We tiptoe down to my old room and drop the bags on my old bed. It feels surreal being in here after four years, eerie even. However, I don’t dwell on it too long as I know we don’t have much time.
“Okay, here’s what we do,” Carissa begins. She explains to me her whole plan, giving me details of exactly what to do. It takes me a moment, but I begin to freak out. If this goes wrong, I can’t even imagine what Aiden will do to me. But Carissa was right—it’s time to take back control.
We hear my brother and parents in the dining room where
they are eating dinner. We grab the specific supplies we need and hide in the bathroom shower that I know Aiden will use. I’m shaking as we sit and wait, feeling completely inadequate.
“I don’t know if I can do this,” I whisper to Carissa as we sit in the tub. The curtain is black, heavy fabric and we are completely unnoticeable once the curtain is drawn across. It’s creepy, but turns out it’s actually coming in handy.
“Yes. You. Can.” she enunciates each word slowly, squeezing my hands in hers.
We went over and over the plan earlier in my old room. I know exactly what to do, but I’m still scared out of my freaking mind. This could literally be…life and death. If this goes wrong, Aiden could tear me apart.
The lights are shut off but I can sense Carissa’s eyes staring into me. “What?” I whisper.
“I’m so proud of you, Lane. The fact that you’re even here doing this…makes me feel like a proud mama! It’s like I’ve taught you so much and now I get to see it in action.”
“Calm down, mama bear. I haven’t done anything, yet.” I can’t even believe I’m here. What the hell am I doing?
The light flicks on.
Oh, God. Show time.
I know it’s Aiden because my parents only use their master bathroom. Some weird thing about them…I never pushed for asking why. It was just how they were.
I hear him humming…humming? As he lifts up the toilet seat, Carissa braces against me, ready to attack at any minute. He unzips his zipper and as soon as we hear it—
We emerge.
“What the fuck?” Aiden shouts, unable to defend himself as he’s covering himself up. Carissa might not look tough, but give her a Red Bull, motive and a pipe wrench…the girl works on pure adrenaline.
She crashes her body into his, forcing him against the wall. We each grab a hand and wrap the zip tie around his wrist, holding him in place. I rip off a piece of duct tape and slap it against his mouth. His eyes bulge out of his head as he takes in what is happening.
Alphas & Millionaires Starter Set Page 39
