“We don’t have any options,” I said, echoing Mattiak. “Unless you want to join forces with us.”
Arnisen’s lip curled in a sneer. “That truly would be faithless,” he said. “You might as well kill me now.”
“You know we’re not going to do that,” I said. I told Mattiak what he’d said, and Mattiak frowned at his captive.
“Bind him and put him with the others,” he told the soldiers guarding Arnisen. “Leave their camp as it is,” he said to his aides. “Let the enemy have to maneuver past it. We’re leaving immediately.”
The aides scattered, and I followed Mattiak out of the tent and back across the battlefield. We could see tents folding and collapsing like the drabbest butterflies you could imagine, folding their wings as they lighted on the ground. “Tell your mages to pack quickly, because we can’t afford to lose any time,” he told me. “Our only advantage now is speed.”
“Can we outrun them?” I said.
“Let’s hope not,” he said cryptically, and before I could ask him to elaborate, we were at the mages’ tents and he was gone.
Our tents were already being folded, and the mages had their gear and were sitting around the table in the dining pavilion, looking lost. I told them everything that had happened, and Saemon said, “Why wouldn’t we outrun them?”
“I have no idea,” I said. “It’s probably some military code. Is everyone feeling rested? Because if we can’t outrun them, and that turns out to be a bad thing, we’ll need to fight.”
It took a few hours—remarkably few—to break camp and form ranks for marching. Our wagon was at the rear of the procession, which made us all feel exposed and unhappy that we were slowing the army’s pace. Everything nonessential had been abandoned, the supply wagons had gone on ahead long before the rest of us were ready to move, and even our wagon seemed to roll faster, as if the horses could feel how urgent this journey was.
After an hour or so, the rises and dips in the road put our former captives out of sight along with the oncoming juggernaut that was the Castaviran army. That didn’t stop me looking back down the road, sometimes working the see-through pouvra in hopes of seeing how far the enemy had gotten. Unfortunately, I couldn’t make it work past more than one rise, so I gave up and tried to join the mages’ conversation, but I was too distracted.
I kept thinking I could flit back and see who’s in charge, kept having to restrain myself. If they were enemies, which they almost certainly were, my learning that wouldn’t change anything, and if they were friends, how was I going to convince Mattiak of that without looking like a traitor?
I’m pretty sure, after what I’ve done to serve Balaen, he’ll give me the benefit of the doubt, but even if he doesn’t think I’m a traitor when I tell him the truth about my experiences in Castavir, he’s not going to risk most of the Balaenic Army just on my say-so.
So I practiced the binding pouvra (still nothing) and some of the other ones I haven’t used recently, and that got the other mages practicing, and it kept me distracted enough I didn’t notice where we were until the wagon stopped and the driver said, “Time to walk.”
We’d stopped at the edge of the forest—I hadn’t even realized we’d entered the forest, that’s how preoccupied I’d been. The driver repeated his instruction, and we got down, clutching our bundles and looking around. Nessan came out from between the trees, scowled at us, and said, “Time for you to earn your pay again.”
“What’s going on?” I said.
The wagon jerked into motion and turned to go under the trees, where it barely fit. We were now the only people on the road. The army had vanished. “We’re going to take a detour,” Nessan said, “and we don’t want those bastards knowing about it. The plan is to travel northward through the woods, keeping ourselves hidden, then wait for the enemy to get ahead of us and come up from behind to push them up against Venetry’s wall.”
“Is that why Mattiak wanted me to tell Arnisen where we were going? So he’d give false information to the Castaviran Army?” I said.
“And why we didn’t bother taking any captives,” Nessan said. “Let them think we’re running scared.”
“Isn’t it a bad thing to let the troops we defeated join up with the God-Empress’s forces?” Ryenn said. “To increase their numbers?”
“Worse for us if they catch us on the road,” Nessan said, “and this way we harry them enough that the defenders of Venetry will have an advantage. Nothing worse for a besieging army than to be attacked from the rear.”
“So what are we supposed to do? You know the concealment pouvra can’t hide an entire army,” I said.
Nessan waved his arm at the ground between the road and the trees. It was a mess of trodden snow and crushed branches. “You’re going to clean this up so it doesn’t look like an army came through,” he said.
I whistled. “I had no idea you had such faith in us,” I said.
“It’s the General who does,” Nessan said, scowling again. “I told him he was crazy.”
“Well, we can try,” I said, and turned to the mages. “Any ideas?”
“Well, the mind-moving pouvra, obviously,” Elleria said. “We can bring in snow from all around to cover the tracks.”
“Make new tracks in the road so they’ll stay focused on following the ‘army,’” Saemon said.
“That sounds good,” I said. “Let’s do it. And hurry.”
We did such a good job even Nessan was impressed. Even I could move snow, and we finished by working together to move air to blow the snow crystals evenly across the ground. “We have to make sure we don’t leave our own footprints,” I said, and we backed into the trees, filling our prints as we went, until we were far enough in that the road was invisible. Then Nessan led us to where the army was camped between the trees, and we had something to eat before the spies had to go out again to make sure the camp couldn’t be seen.
Mattiak wouldn’t let us creep back to see if the army had believed our ruse, saying there was nothing we could learn that was worth the risk of revealing everything to the enemy. But I had trouble sleeping, and when we woke in the morning, we were told we were leaving the wagons behind because the forest northward was thick enough horses could barely navigate it. The wagons are heading west to get behind the Castaviran Army and pick us up again later.
So we walked all day, which we were completely unaccustomed to, and now I’m so tired if I didn’t care so much about having a complete record of my journeys, I would just have written “Hid army, walked much, sleep now.” And I’m so cold. I wonder how Jeddan and our mages are doing against the God-Empress. I wonder if they have to wear the King’s stupid uniform, and if it’s made them as much a target as I fear. I wonder if we’ll be able to do any good against the Castaviran army, because we’re maybe two-thirds their size and we’ve got a lot of wounded.
Hid army, walked much, sleep now.
15 Seresstine
More walking. We’re deep in the forest now, though it’s not the forest I remember. The pre-convergence forest that passes behind Hasskian ends about a hundred miles south of here, and this one is much thicker even than that one was. Fortunate for us. Not that we’re anywhere near where the Castavirans are; Mattiak estimates they’ve reached that destroyed crossroads and are preparing to move north along the Royal Road. We’re camping here for a few days to give them time to get ahead of us.
So—we’re a couple days’ march east of the Royal Road and two days’ march north of where we were, which means we’ll wait here for two days before striking out westward. (I didn’t work that out myself, it’s what Mattiak told me. I just thought I’d make myself look intelligent for once. That’s a joke. I’m not stupid except about military affairs.)
Had dinner with Mattiak, who didn’t do or say anything to discomfit me. I’m starting to feel as if I can forgive him, but our friendship can’t go back to where it was before. I feel sad and guilty, which is stupid because I didn’t do anything wrong. I guess it’s
because I still think Mattiak is a good man, and I wish he’d find someone who will love him the way he deserves.
I’ve been thinking maybe I should tell him the truth about why I speak Castaviran, and how I know all these things about their culture. He probably won’t think I’m a traitor, and I’m growing increasingly worried that no one knows to be very, very suspicious of anything the God-Empress might do.
I’m too tired to think clearly about this. Tomorrow we won’t be marching, and maybe I can make a decision then.
16 Seresstine
Telling Mattiak the truth was uncomfortable, but I’m convinced it was the right thing to do. We had dinner together again, and as we were finishing, I said, “I need to tell you something. I haven’t been completely honest with you, and it’s likely you’re going to be upset, but I’ve never lied about being your friend, and I hope that friendship will let you listen to my whole story before you decide how you’re going to react.”
His eyebrows went up, and he leaned his elbows on the table. “You fill me with dread,” he said. “You know I’ve already figured out you’re a thief.”
“It’s not about that,” I said. “I told you there were things I couldn’t explain about why I speak Castaviran. I think you deserve to know what those are.”
He stood and went to the tent flap to summon his servant, then stacked the dishes himself. “If it’s that important,” he said, “I think it would be better if we weren’t interrupted.”
Once the table was clear, he sat down again and spread his hands to indicate I should proceed. Naturally that made all my thoughts too jumbled for me to speak, so I took a moment to organize myself, then said, “A couple of months before the event, I was traveling near the Fensadderian border….”
I tried to sum up as much as possible. I didn’t tell him any details about developing friendships or my relationship with Cederic; I wasn’t trying to keep secrets, but it’s a long story and I cut out as much irrelevant material as I could. I ended with the final kathana, the one that left me half-naked in the middle of a forest, then sat back and watched his face. He looked thoughtful, tapping his fingers rhythmically on the table top, his eyes fixed on a point somewhere between us. “Well,” he finally said.
“I’m not a traitor,” I said.
That startled him. “Is that what you thought I’d think?” he said.
“I’m married to a Castaviran mage,” I said. “You can see how that, combined with everything else, might make it look like I would have reason to ally with Castavir against Balaen. But I don’t. I’m not. Our worlds, our cultures, don’t have any choice but to live side by side. I want that to happen peacefully, not Balaen conquering Castavir or the other way around. But I’ll back any side that’s in opposition to the God-Empress, because she’s insane and she’ll destroy either country, or both of them, if she’s in control.” He was still silent. “I’ve fought for Balaen all this time,” I pointed out.
“I know,” he said. His fingers resumed their drumming on the table top. “Why are you telling me this now?” he said. “There’s no reason anyone would ever have to know.”
“Because Balaen needs to know the God-Empress will try to destroy it,” I said. “And because eventually I will find Cederic, or he will find me, and I’m not going to conceal my marriage just to keep myself from looking like a traitor.”
“I understand,” he said. He stood up and paced from one side of the tent to the other. I’ve seen him do this many times—it helps him work out serious problems. “I don’t think anyone needs to know this,” he said. “I’ll give out that I learned about the God-Empress from interrogating that general. We already learned some of it from him, anyway.”
“Actually, that was me feeding you information so I could pretend it didn’t come from me,” I said.
He laughed. “I don’t know why you didn’t tell me all of this then,” he said. “I would have believed it all came from that Castaviran.”
“I don’t know either,” I said. “Probably because you wouldn’t have believed he was that forthcoming. Or that he’d be willing to admit his God was insane.”
“True,” he said. He came to a stop in front of me and put his hand on my shoulder, a friendly gesture, not a romantic one. “Thank you for trusting me with this, Sesskia,” he said. “You’re right, I might have thought you a traitor and had you executed.”
I went briefly insubstantial so his hand fell through my shoulder to hang at his side. “Let me know when you figure out how to do that,” I said with a grin.
“I am so glad you realized you’re not an assassin,” he said, returning my grin. “I’d never sleep again.”
“We’ve agreed that I, of course, would never sneak into your tent at night,” I said.
He laughed again. “Why were you there that night?” he said. “If it wasn’t to make amorous advances.”
“Nessan stole your watch and made me put it back,” I admitted.
He rolled his eyes. “You are allowed to tell him to go to hell,” he said. “I don’t need two Nessans running around this place.”
“I’ll tell him you made me say it, and we’ll see what happens,” I said, and after a few more pleasantries, I came back here to write it all down. I still can’t believe it was that easy. Not that I regret waiting this long, because I think Mattiak and I had to develop a real friendship so he’d be able to react so calmly.
It surprises me to discover I still consider him a friend, despite what’s happened between us. If I’m being honest with myself, I can admit that as angry and heartsick as I was when Mattiak made that first advance, I appreciate that he was at least forthright enough to tell me the truth about how he felt—feels—about me instead of hiding it. Not that it’s an excuse for him leading me on like that, but I think I’ve forgiven him.
Unless Mattiak is only pretending to be reasonable. I wish I hadn’t thought that. I wish I weren’t so paranoid. He didn’t sound like he was pretending. Wonderful. And I taunted him about not being able to hold me against my will. If he puts Nessan to work on that problem, I’m doomed. I don’t even know how to do it, but I know Nessan will figure something out. I’m never going to be able to sleep tonight.
17 Seresstine
More camping. Worked on pouvrin today, teaching everyone the see-in-dark pouvra. No real progress, but we’re starting to get a feel for how to learn effectively. Nessan didn’t come for me in the night.
18 Seresstine
We struck camp and began marching this morning. It took most of the day to emerge from the forest, where we found the supply train and our wagon waiting. Made some more progress before camping. Still no stealth attack by Nessan. I’d ask him myself if he has any secret orders about me, except I’m afraid it would give him ideas.
19 Seresstine
Practiced pouvrin on the road—not a road, we’re cutting across country, which slows us and makes the wagon ride almost unbearably bumpy. Waiting for full dark so we can see if anyone mastered the see-in-dark pouvra, but after today’s ride I don’t have high hopes.
20 Seresstine
Reached the Royal Road early this morning. It’s a wreck from the Castavirans passing through, but still paved smoothly and the wagon ride feels like a dream compared to the last two days. We made better time. Advance scouts report the army is a little more than a day’s travel away, far enough ahead they can’t see us trailing them. They are going to be so surprised when we come up behind them. What would be even better is if they don’t attack Venetry at all, but the God-Empress’s forces—let her batter them for a bit before we encounter them.
True God forgive me, I forgot my real loyalties just now. I don’t want Balaen to slaughter the Castaviran army, I want them to find common ground. But that’s not likely, is it? Even though I told Mattiak the truth, I don’t think he agrees with me that compromise is possible. His loyalty is to Balaen, and the King’s safety depends on his ensuring the “invaders” don’t overcome Venetry. So we’ll attack the Casta
virans whether they join with the God-Empress or not, and we won’t try to make peace with them even though Mattiak has a translator, and they’re enough bigger than we are that even if we win, it will be at a huge cost. I’m so sick of war.
21 Seresstine
We’re another two days south of Venetry, which means the Castaviran army will reach its walls either late tomorrow or early the day after. There’s a big storm coming in, so it might take longer. These northern storms have been known to last for days. I hope I’m wrong about how the weather looks, but I’ve traveled rough long enough to know the difference between a light squall and a full-on tempest. I think the officers feel the same way, because they sent runners north to find a good location for us to camp. Oh, well, if we have to be stuck here, at least:
1. We will have plenty of time to learn and practice pouvrin;
2. The Castaviran army will be stuck too;
3. The odds are good the storm will reach as far north as Venetry, which will interfere with the God-Empress’s attack; and
4. Storms are nice if you’re in a cozy tent rather than stumbling around hoping to find shelter.
I’ve been trying not to think about what’s happening at Venetry. I’m not worried about Jeddan; he knows what he’s doing, and the mages listen to him. Mostly I’m worried I’m wrong, and the God-Empress has been able to overwhelm our defenders, and we’ll arrive just in time to besiege our own city. And if she kills the King…it’s better if I don’t think about it at all, since I can’t do anything about it. I’m going to sleep now, and hope I dream of Cederic again.
22 Seresstine, afternoon
The storm caught us about an hour ago—I say “caught us” but we actually saw it coming a long way off and had plenty of time to prepare. The wind is beating against the tent walls so loudly I feel as if my thoughts are shouting over it. The mages worked on pouvrin, and griped about not being able to practice the see-in-dark pouvra until someone suggested doing it outside in the storm, and it’s a sign of how bored we all were that we were willing to try it. The experiment didn’t last long, but it did amuse us, and a couple of the mages even succeeded!
The Wandering Mage (Convergence Book 2) Page 28
