The Thulean warrior princess slices and dices her way closer to the goblin shaman, her ass saved once by a blast from Enway’s wand. Ryuk too has taken a supporting role, knowing all too well that there’s too much mayhem now to get in a good hit.
Instakill!
Level up!
New marble acquired!
The level up and the two skill level ups he just received start to fade away.
Skill: One in a Million
Level Two: Use your slingshot and any marble of your choosing to take an impossible shot. Odds of connecting increase with each point you gain in LUCK.
Requirements: Level 10 Mage, LUCK > 17.
Skill: Extreme Focus
Level Four: Can detect approach of camouflaged/concealed/stealthed enemies and objects.
Mage bonus: Higher levels allow sleuthing and increased accuracy. Also increases magic detection range when used in tandem with Magic Eye.
He very briefly reads the details of his new marble.
New marble acquired! Aqua marbles are water based marbles capable of a number of feats, including drowning an enemy and extinguishing fires.
A message from Sophia pops up on Ryuk’s viewing pane.
Sophia: Please log out now. I am done running the tests I need to run for the day.
Ryuk: We’re kind of in the middle of something.
Sophia: Is it a boss battle? If it’s a boss battle, finish it then log out.
Ryuk: Will do!
I’ll have to check out my new marble later, Ryuk thinks as he pops a mag full of sword marbles into his Marble Gun, and tries to take out some of the goblins on the outer edge of the wall of flesh surrounding Sugar Spur.
These goblins fall, only to land on those trying to climb up below.
Sugar Spur still floats on top, a furious look on her face as a serpent made of magic begins to swirl around her body.
Using a goblin’s head as a springboard, Zaena hits the air, flips, and comes down with a slice that takes both the shaman goblin’s nipple rings off.
-800 HP! Critical hit!
“Yeeeeeeeeoooooooooy!” Sugar Spur shrieks and shrieks. Her nipples reform, but the golden rings are long gone.
“Holy fick, Zaena, I mean, Liz! Fick! Keep that up and I’ll start calling you Princess Zaena!”
The Thulean lands, cuts a goblin wielding a morning star down, and uses her ghost limbs to lift back into the air. This time, she tosses one of her blades, which zips through Sugar Spur’s other earlobe.
-400 HP!
A look of utter anguish spreading across her face, Sugar Spur manages to fire off her serpent of magic, which zips around the room, eventually taking a hundred or more HP from each Mitherficker.
Ryuk is thrown sideways, only to be dogpiled by stinky, robe-clad goblins.
“Fuck!” he shouts as he’s being smothered. Firing blindly into the stack of bodies, he finishes the rest of his mag of sword marbles.
Insta-Insta-Instakill!
Unable to adequately reload his weapon, Ryuk, amidst being bitten, scratched, poked and prodded, is able to stick two molten marbles in his mouth.
His spitfire spell does the rest.
Fire scorching from his lips, Ryuk torches the goblins off him, rolls right, and manages to come up away from the pile of burning, screaming goblins.
One more golden ring, he thinks, as he goes for his slingshot. The ring is affixed to Sugar Spur’s belly button, so an explosive marble should do the trick.
But first…
To get some leverage, and get away from the goblins descending upon him, Ryuk places a couple of gravity marbles in his mouth. He lifts into the air, his slingshot aimed at Sugar Spur’s belly.
The goblin shaman sees him and points as a blistering spiral of energy twists around her arm.
“Not today,” Ryuk whispers.
His black marble hits her belly and explodes, flesh flying everywhere.
-400 HP!
Sugar Spur screeches and falls from the air. She lands in the pile of goblins beneath her and they quickly work to cover her body.
“She’s still not dead?” Ryuk asks as he steps back down to the ground.
He glances to Hiccup, who is doing the math on his mechanical fingers. Wolf is beside him, cutting down any goblin who dares approach.
“Fick,” Hiccup finally says. He gulps loud enough for Ryuk to hear him a good four meters away. “That means there’s another ring.”
“Another ring?” asks Zaena, who has just touched down between the two. FeeTwix, to Ryuk’s right, grabs his Glock and puts three shots directly into the forehead of an approaching goblin.
Instakill!
“Marbles, Twixy, cover me!” Hiccup says as he waddles over to the wall of goblins. The most cantankerous goblin this side of the Port of Corpses shakes his head in disgust. “It can only be one fickin’ place.”
FeeTwix gets it before Ryuk does. He finishes his round and calls over to Hiccup, “Are you sure?”
The goblin swallows hard. “I was born for this moment, Twixy,” he says, his eyes reflecting the growing chaos of the goblin dogpile forming around Sugar Spur. “If I don’t make it out of there, Twixy, tell Spewy that I’m his father and that I don’t approve of his life choices.”
With that, Hiccup bites down on his toe knife, gets into a diving position, and leaps into the goblins that have swarmed around the powerful shaman.
“What in the fuck is he doing?” Ryuk asks, still capping goblins as he sees fit.
“The final ring,” FeeTwix says, pointing to his groin. “It’s there…”
“Seriously?” Enway asks. “Her chalupa?”
Ryuk can’t decide whether to be disgusted or to laugh out loud.
“Filthy creatures!” is Zaena’s response as she decapitates two approaching goblins, their blood spritzing the wall.
But that’s not the instakill that gets Ryuk’s attention. About a minute later, a mini nuclear explosion spits goblin limbs, goblin weapons, and entrails through the air.
Instakill!
Hiccup flies out of the mess, smacks into the ceiling, cries out in pain, and lands on the ground, a meter away from Wolf. Any robed goblin left standing quickly exits the room.
“Yoy…” Hiccup says as he throws his mechanical hand out to reveal the runestone.
FeeTwix rushes over to him and helps him up.
“Are you okay?”
The goblin puckers his lips.
“Fine, healing potion.” The Swede takes a healing potion out of thin air and jams it into Hiccup’s mouth. He livestreams the close-up of the goblin, much to his fans’ approval – well, at least the Fickers. “Drink up, baby goblin!”
“Yoy!” Hiccup spits some of the healing potion into FeeTwix’s face. “That was…fick me, that was crazy. And Twixy, I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again: I’m nobody’s little fickboy. Any-fickin’-hoo...” He shows FeeTwix the runestone. “You fickheads wouldn’t believe where this was buried, and I ain’t talking about her female choop either. That was the golden ring. I had to get that one off with my toe knife. The runestone…”
“It was there?” Zaena asks, disgusted.
“Like a hemorrhoid, Liz. Fick, talk about a damp, hairy, filthy place I never want to visit again.” The goblin shudders and wipes blood from his brow. “Who wants the stone?”
“I do?” Ryuk asks, not too keen on taking the shit-covered stone from Hiccup.
“Welp, here you go, Marbles. Fetch!”
The runestone flies through the air, and luckily for Ryuk, Zaena catches it with her ghost limb. She holds it there for a moment as she gets a cleaning towel from FeeTwix. “I figured you didn’t want it in that condition, and FeeTwix, please burn this towel after I’m finished.”
“Will do, babe.”
“Thanks,” Ryuk says as Zaena hands him the clean runestone. This one is bigger than the first, and once he has equipped the first one, he notices that it fits perfectly into the grooves across the face of th
e second runestone.
“So, they fit together,” Enway says as she approaches him. “Not bad.”
“Yeah,” Ryuk says as he turns the attached runestones over in his hands. “I wonder what they do when we get the third.”
Enway shrugs. “No telling. Hey, did anyone else get levels? I got two!”
“One for me,” says the Swede.
“Two for me,” Zaena says.
“Three for Uncle Goblin. I think I got some type of bonus for hopping into that pile of fickboys. BOGO, am I right? Wait, that’s not buy one, get one. That’s like buy one, get two. Fick. Algebra is a bitch.”
Ryuk takes a deep breath. “FeeTwix and I need to log out to see Sophia. We’ll be back in a little while. In the meantime, the guild should make their way back to Waringtla to see Lothar, but not through the sewers.”
“For once, I agree with Marbles. Let’s get on the first train out of here, Mitherfickers, and since there are no trains, we’re going to have to take an airship.”
“Good,” Ryuk says as he lifts his finger to log out. “See you guys in Waringtla.”
The Japanese youth takes one more look at the room and the piles upon piles of goblin bodies, closes his eyes, realizes he will never forget that memory, and logs out.
.14. Ramen Revelations
The logging out process while in a dive vat is something Ryuk didn’t quite expect. He sees the same exit screen, and goes through the same spiraling vortex, but rather than waking up in his bed, he wakes up in a pool of sticky liquid with a breathing apparatus jammed into his mouth.
His first instinct is to try to rip his body free, but he quickly reminds himself where he is, and it isn’t long before Sophia’s humandroid friend, Evan, is by his side, removing cords stuck into the back of his NV Visor and returning Ryuk’s breathing apparatus to its hook on the side of the vat.
His lips exceedingly dry, he feels an intense thirst coming on. His thirst is quickly met with a glass of lukewarm water from Evan.
“Drink up,” the humandroid says, “and I’ll see to your friend. Once you are ready, you may climb out of the vat on your own. There are showers over there. I suggest washing the conducting substance off your body. It can get very sticky if it is kept on for too long.”
Ryuk does as instructed, and once he’s showered, he meets Hajime, Evan and Sophia at the front of the room, all of whom are waiting for FeeTwix to finish up.
“How was your dive?” Hajime asks. “Did you listen to the quiet voice?”
The Oblique Quote. Ryuk scratched the back of his head. “Um, not exactly, but we did get two of the runestones.”
“Impressive,” Sophia says, even though her facial expression doesn’t make it seem like she’s very impressed.
“And I’m assuming you have one more to go?”
“Yep,” Ryuk tells Hajime. “The three runestones of Tritinakh. No idea what they’ll do once we get them all together, but the first two actually fit into one another.”
“I’m familiar with them,” says Sophia, “but I’ve never known someone to actually go after them. There are tons of quests and rare items like that in Tritania. I’ve been diving to Tritania for, jeez, almost two decades. That makes me sound so old, but that’s how long I’ve been going there. I don’t know if I already told you, but I own an apartment in Valhalla.”
“Nice,” Ryuk says, familiar with the most famous district in Porthos, the capital of Polynya. Out of all the capitals of the continent, Aramis in Hyperborea and Athos in Ultima Thule, Porthos is by far the most expensive.
“I agree, it is nice. Evan, have you chosen a restaurant for us?”
“Yes, Hajime and I conferred and decided on a ramen restaurant in Nippori. Is that to your liking?” he asks Ryuk.
“Of course. I love ramen.”
“I’ve been craving ramen since we arrived,” Sophia admits. “I’m not Japanese. Don’t know if I told you that, but my family is from Taiwan and I was born in America.”
“Okay.”
“But I love ramen. I think all Asians love ramen, at least all Asians I know. I guess it sounds like I’m stereotyping them because I am.” She grins. “And I love ramen.”
“Me too,” Ryuk says, just as FeeTwix walks out of the shower room.
“That is one hot shower! Whew! What’s on the agenda for dinner tonight, fam? My fans have told me about some really delicious monjayaki in the Tsukishima District.”
“I thought you weren’t telling your fans you were coming here,” Ryuk says.
“Relax, Ryuk, just a really close group of fans. These guys and gals know everything I’m up to. It’s a private group. No squealers there, I promise.”
“Monjayaki is good,” Ryuk says, “but maybe okonomiyaki is better.”
“Interesting. I’d try them both ‘cause I am starved! Not starved like a pink-haired goblin who shall remain nameless, but I’d definitely eat my weight in just about anything Japanese, aside from fermented beans.”
“Natto.”
“Yeah, I’ll pass on that. Ha! And we can totally discuss this later, but really, Ryuk, can you believe how we ended up defeating that last boss?”
“What happened?” Sophia asks as they step out of the dive facility.
FeeTwix quickly explains the Queen of the Rings battle, much to Sophia’s chagrin towards the end of his explanation.
“So, if it wasn’t clear, Hiccup had to squirm through a pile of goblins to remove the golden ring from her, um, lady part and then he had to take the runestone from her–”
“Goblins continue to be the bane of my existence, even though I no longer associate with them. I never told many people this, but once, as a test from the Sage–”
“The Sage?” FeeTwix asks Sophia.
“The NVA Seed of Tritania,” Ryuk says.
“Ah, okay, continue.”
“–I was once forced to babysit dozens of baby goblins as a test of my patience. It was…” Sophia shudders. “Horrifying.”
“Did you pass the test?” Evan asks as they step outside of the lab.
“No, I failed. But Quantum passed his test, so we were able to solve the riddle.”
FeeTwix’s eyes go wide. “That sounds so awesome. I wish I could meet Quantum Hughes.”
“You could, if you go to America.”
“He doesn’t dive anymore?”
Sophia turns to FeeTwix and shrugs. “No comment.”
Once they reach the parking lot, a cold burst of air moves past the five; swirling snow presses into the front of Ryuk’s sweater. The Uberyota SUV awaits them at the curb and they can’t get in soon enough.
“It’s getting colder out there,” FeeTwix says as he puts on the mask Hajime gave him.
In response to his statement, a weather forecast appears on the inside of the windshield as the aeros lifts into the air. The weather is read in English, followed by Japanese.
“Tokyo is so pretty at night,” Sophia says, looking out the window. “I really wish I had more time to do a little shopping but…” she sighs.
“What is it, dear?” Evan asks.
“You know exactly what it is. My work calls. My work always calls.”
“Did you discover something?” Ryuk asks. “I mean, what you were looking for. Did you discover this?”
“I did,” she says with a grimace, “and it’s not what I expected. Look, we’ll get into all the details at the restaurant.”
“But I am okay, yes?”
She smiles at the young man. “Yes, you are okay.”
“No, I mean my...” Ryuk fires off the word in Japanese to Hajime.
“His digital hallucination,” the humandroid says.
“Yes, sorry, I forgot the word hallucination.”
“You will be fine regarding your hallucinations,” Sophia says. “It is what lies behind these hallucinations that has me worried.”
(0)__(0)
The steamy air from the ramen shop brushes past Ryuk’s face as the door slides open. Two men si
t at the counter slurping from their bowls while a trio of ramen chefs busy themselves by chopping ingredients.
“Welcome!” a female chef calls out. She wears a black apron and has her hair pulled back by a matching black bandana.
The space in the ramen restaurant is tight, and there are only two tables and some seating at the counter, but the place is cozy, quaint, and it smells fucking phenomenal. It has been a while since Ryuk went to a ramen shop, his last visit being one with Tamana.
As he normally does with Tamana memories, he quickly swallows it down.
As they discussed in the ride over, Hajime stands near the door and Evan takes the furthest seat at the counter. Two humandroid bodyguards, Ryuk thinks as he sits with his back to the door. FeeTwix is next to him, and Sophia Wang across from them.
“You’ll do the honors, right?” Sophia asks.
“Honors?”
“Order,” she tells Ryuk. “You’ll order for us.”
“Sure. What do you want?”
“Miso ramen and gyoza, lots of gyoza. How much comes on a platter again? Six?”
“Yes, six.”
“Order me two platters then.”
“Okay. FeeTwix?”
The Swede turns a laminated menu on the table over. “I have no earthly idea what I’m looking at...kidding! I activated my real time Japanese language reading app which, seriously you two, I recommend the hell out of this app. I swear it can read everything, from Swahili to Cantonese. Sorry, they once sponsored a slot on my live feed. It does work well though. Okay, sorry again. What will you have, Ryuk?”
“Ramen.”
“I figured that. Which kind of ramen?”
“Secret broth,” he says, licking his lips. “It is a pork broth, I believe.”
“Yep, I’m all in. Secret broth it is and fried dumplings.”
“Gyoza.”
“Sure, let’s order a ton of those.”
The female chef comes around with a pad. After suggesting the shoyu broth, she takes their order, and calls it out to the other chefs as she returns to the counter.
Fantasy Online_The Runestones of Tritinakh Page 16
