by Claire Raye
“Ha ha ha, smart ass. No, I was hanging out with Adam. He’s a nurse and he suggested I major in nursing—”
“Wait, hold up,” she says, tossing a hand in the air. “We’re talking about Adam who works at The Last Drop, right?”
“Yeah, I know. Knocked me on my ass too. Definitely didn’t see that coming.”
“Did you ask him why he’s working at the bar and not at a hospital or whatever?” she asks, everything coming out in a rush.
“No, I didn’t. I leave those kinds of questions to you. You’re the nosy one, not me.” I turn and wink at her, sticking out my tongue.
“Next time kiss him so you have a better story,” she replies, letting out a huff as she storms out of my room.
After the gym, instead of heading home before class, I make my way over to the guidance office, kind of excited to declare my major. I sign in and sit down in the chair ready to decide my future thanks to Adam. This is it. Something my parents have been nagging me about. Something Ruby knew from the day she applied at Hawthorn, but then there was me. Always viewed as wasting my parents’ money on classes that would lead to nothing. Honestly, I think even my parents are surprised I’ve made it this far.
“Mila Collins,” a woman’s detached voice calls and I hop up from the chair, smiling like an idiot as I walk into her office. This is my first step toward adulthood and this woman does not seem at all excited.
“What can I help you with?” she asks, again with the lack of enthusiasm.
“I’d like to declare my major,” I announce with flourish, far too loud for the tiny room that I now find myself sitting in. The woman looks up at me, still with no affect.
“To what?” she now asks, her unpolished nails tapping away on the keyboard.
“Nursing,” I say, feeling the weight of my decision in my heart and needing this woman to understand how big this is for me. Up until yesterday I was certain I would wander the campus of Hawthorn without a clue as to what I was going to do with my life. “I want to help people,” I add, but she looks thoroughly unimpressed.
“Done,” she tells me, never looking away from the computer screen. “Anything else I can help you with?”
“That’s it?” I ask, finding myself deeply offended that balloons aren’t falling from the ceiling and horns aren’t blowing in my honor.
“Sorry, the marching band was booked,” she deadpans, dull and bothered.
I snuff out a breath and stand up with gusto before turning on my heel and sort of storming out of her office. I don’t think these people at the university understand how important this decision is. They would have the marching band on retainer if they did.
Classes are boring and by the time I’m done with the three I have on Wednesday, I’m antsy and feeling a bit salty. It feels like everyone is like that lady at the guidance office, all bored and bothered. The professors in my lectures lack the enthusiasm I expected and even the other students in my classes seem either bored or stressed out.
When I exit the elevator to my apartment floor, Adam is just leaving his place, locking the door behind him.
“Hey,” I say as he stops in front of the elevator, giving me a quick wave. “How are you?”
“Good and you?” he replies.
“I declared my major today,” I announce, throwing my hands in the air, hoping for some returned excitement.
“Oh, nice.”
Oh, nice. Really?
What in the fuck is with these people today? Yesterday he was all about helping me decide and flirting with me and sucking on my neck and now he’s all, “Oh, nice”.
The smile drops from my face and I fold my arms over my chest. I’m sure I’m being indignant and spoiled, but I blame my parents for making me think declaring my major is a big deal, which it clearly isn’t.
“Well, that’s that, I guess. I was pretty fucking excited about it, but it seems that I’m just out here on my own, tooting my own horn and looking like a damn fool,” I broadcast to the empty hallway with Adam staring at me as I flail my arms around me.
And just like I did with the lady in the guidance office, I whip around, but this time find solace in my apartment, slamming the door like the immature pain in the ass I’m being right now. Eventually I’ll grow up, but today isn’t that day.
Ten minutes later there’s a knock on the door and still riding my crabby high, I storm over and fling it open. Standing here in front of me is Adam, holding a bottle of champagne.
“Care to celebrate?” he asks, swinging the bottle back and forth in his hand, making me laugh, a huge smile spreading across my face.
“You’re indulging my pity party, huh? Did you just run to the store and buy that?” I ask, pointing at the bottle in his hand.
He shrugs not admitting to anything. “It was quite the tantrum,” he says, smirking. “Maybe you need a spanking.”
Chapter Four
Adam
“Seriously?” Mila asks, still smiling as I swing the champagne bottle.
I literally don’t know what the fuck is wrong with me these past few days. I swear it’s like I’ve suddenly developed a split personality when it comes to Mila. In fact, I’m certain I have; somehow managing to swing from cool and detached to flirty and definitely thinking about taking things further. All with a healthy dose of wanting to spill all my secrets to her thrown in too.
Fuck my life right now, because I have no idea what I’m doing anymore.
I give her a smirk. “About what, the celebrating or the spanking?”
She laughs, opening the door wider and inviting me in as she says, “I don’t know, both?”
I grin as I step inside and it’s at this point that I seriously contemplate punching myself in the face.
What the fuck am I doing?
Mila takes the bottle from my hand as she moves into the kitchen and grabs two coffee mugs. Walking back to the living area, she gestures to the couch before flopping down beside me. I take the bottle from her hand and unwrap it, popping the cork as she holds out the mugs, waiting for me to pour.
“To declaring your major,” I say, tapping my mug against hers.
“Hell yes!” she half shouts, taking a small sip. “Hey, weren’t you just on your way out?” she asks, as though suddenly realizing I was leaving my apartment when we ran into each other.
I shrug. “Yeah, but it’s fine.”
“Were you going to work?” she asks.
“Later,” I reply. “So, what’s the major?”
Mila narrows her brows at me. “Seriously?”
“Yes, seriously,” I say with a chuckle.
“Oh my god, nursing, you idiot,” she says, kicking my leg with her foot. “And yes, I will totally be taking you up on the offer to help.”
I smile, wondering what the fuck I’ve just gotten myself into. I mean yes, she’s hot. She’s also funny and fun to hang out with. But she’s dangerous too. Dangerous in ways she’s completely unaware of and I know if I let her, she could bring me to my knees.
“Sure, sounds good. You have your class list?”
“Yep,” she says, jumping up from the couch. She rifles through a bag on the kitchen bench and just as she walks back to the couch, the front door opens and her housemate walks in.
“Oh, Adam, hi,” she says, stalling out a little when she sees me.
“Charlie,” I reply, giving her a salute.
“What’s um…what’s going on?” she asks, almost as though she’s wondering if she’s interrupting something.
Mila grins, throwing her arms up as she says, “I declared my major today!”
Charlie squeals, clapping her hands together as she drops her bag and crushes Mila in a hug. Clearly this is the response she was expecting when she made her big announcement to me in the corridor.
“Come, we’re celebrating,” Mila says, dragging Charlie over to the couch.
I should be relieved that someone else is joining us, a
third wheel that’s definitely going to stop me from doing something stupid. But there’s a part of me that isn’t. A part of me that wants to drag Mila back to my apartment so I can share this moment with her and only her.
Mila pours Charlie some champagne before sitting down beside me again. She folds her legs up beneath her, her foot now resting lightly against my leg, as Charlie takes a seat on the other couch.
“So, nursing?” she asks Mila.
“Yep,” Mila replies with a nod.
“You’re a nurse, right, Adam?” Charlie now asks, turning her attention to me.
“I am.”
“So how come you work at the bar?” she continues, apparently unfazed by asking straight up personal questions.
I shrug, trying for casual. “It’s easier when traveling. I’m not registered over here, and it’s a pain in the arse doing it in each state I travel to, so…” I trail off, hoping this is a good enough answer.
“Do you miss it?” Mila asks.
I turn to her, see the genuine curiosity on her face. “Sometimes, yeah,” I admit, even if a bigger part of me wonders if I could ever go back to doing it. “Anyway,” I say, finishing my champagne. “I gotta get going. See you guys later.”
I stand before they respond, leaving my mug on the coffee table and heading to the front door. I’m in the corridor when I feel a hand on my arm. Pausing, I turn to see Mila standing behind me, a concerned look on her face.
“Are you okay?” she asks, her hand still on my arm. I can feel the warmth of her fingers on my skin, my body warring with wanting to push her away or pull her closer.
“Yeah, all good,” I say, smiling at her.
She offers me a half smile as she pushes up on her toes and brushes her lips against my cheek. She steadies herself with a hand on my chest and I don’t pull away this time, my eyes closing as I resist the urge to turn so her lips connect with mine.
“Thank you,” she whispers, her breath warm against my skin.
I nod, unable to speak as I turn and walk down the corridor to the elevator.
It’s after eleven by the time I get home from work and my brain is still trying to process what the fuck is going on with Mila and me. There’s something there between us, that much is obvious. But so is the way we are both trying to fight it.
I know what my reasons are and as much as I try to act like I don’t want to know, I am intrigued by what Mila’s reason might be. Even if acting on any of it is a really, really bad idea.
Just as I step out of the lift on our floor, my phone rings and when I glance at the screen, I smile when I see who it is.
“Hey, little brother.”
“Hey,” he half shouts into the phone, clearly excited at having caught me and making me laugh. With the time difference, it’s not always easy to catch each other. Most of my friends gave up a couple of months after I left Australia, although deep down I know most of that was probably my fault when I stopped answering their calls.
But not Josh. He persisted, calling me at all hours of the day and night as he made every attempt to maintain the close relationship we’ve always shared. He might be four years younger than me, but we’ve always been tight, even if he gets annoyed at me telling him what to do.
“What’s happening?” I ask as I make my way down to my apartment.
“Not much,” he says, muffled chatter coming through the phone. “Well, actually, I do have news.”
“Oh yeah,” I ask, unlocking my door. I step inside, hitting the lights and immediately noticing the piece of paper on the floor. Bending down to pick it up, I see it’s a class schedule, filled with an all too familiar subject.
“Dude, did you hear me?” Josh asks.
“Huh, sorry, what?”
He chuckles now, realizing I wasn’t really listening. “What are you distracted by?”
“Nothing,” I lie as I stand in the middle of the room, staring at the piece of paper.
“Bullshit,” he calls. “You with some girl?”
“Fuck off,” I say with a laugh, knowing that’s so far from the truth it’s not even funny. “I’m listening, what’s your news?”
“Well,” he says dramatically. “I was thinking I’d come and visit you.”
All at once my heart stutters in my chest as a cold sweat breaks out on my skin. “What?”
He laughs, oblivious to my reaction. “I thought I’d come visit, idiot. I mean you won’t come home, and I miss hanging out with you, so yeah, that’s what I’m gonna do.”
“When?” I ask, knowing that I really should be more excited by this. And it’s not like I don’t want to see my brother, of course I do. I miss him, just like I miss all of my family. It’s just that they’re tied to a time and a past that I also long to forget, even if they aren’t to blame for any of it.
“Dunno yet, I still have a semester of uni left, so I guess it won’t be until that’s done, but yeah, I’m starting to plan so figured I’d let you know.”
“Okay,” I say, exhaling with relief. “Well, make sure you keep me in the loop. I’m not sure how much longer I’ll be in California, so I’ll need to know when you book flights.”
I finally turn to close my front door, freezing when I see Mila standing in the corridor, clearly listening to everything I’ve just said. In my ear, my brother rambles on with all the things he wants us to do when he does get over here, while I stand mute, staring at this girl.
“Hey listen, Josh, I gotta go. Can I call you tomorrow?”
“Yeah sure,” my brother says. “You okay?”
“All good,” I lie. “Excited to catch up.”
“Me too, bro, catch ya later.”
The phone goes dead, and I wordlessly slide it into my pocket, my gaze still locked with Mila’s as she stands there watching me.
“Hey,” I eventually force out.
Mila blinks once, her eyes flicking to her class schedule, which is still in my hand before returning her gaze to mine. “You’re leaving California?”
I take a step toward her. “I don’t know,” I reply. “I mean, one day, yeah, but…” I trail off, not wanting to lie to her but unsure how to tell her the truth either.
Mila doesn’t move, her eyes glued to mine as she licks her bottom lip, dragging it between her teeth as though she doesn’t know what to say.
“So, your classes, huh?” I ask, holding up the paper. She nods but still doesn’t say anything and my eyes drop to the pizza box she’s holding. “You bringing me dinner again?” I ask, forcing a smile, wishing to fuck she hadn’t just heard what she did.
She lifts a shoulder in a shrug. “Thought you might be hungry after work.”
I take a deep breath, letting it out slowly as her words sink in. She has no idea how much the thought of her thinking about me like that means.
“Wanna come in?” I ask.
She nods, walking inside and heading straight to the kitchen. I follow after her, grabbing two beers from the fridge before joining her at the kitchen bench, the two of us sitting side by side like we were last night.
She points to the schedule, avoiding my gaze. “So, anything on there look—”
“I’m not leaving anytime soon,” I blurt out. “I mean I…” I trail off, not sure how to explain it.
“It’s okay,” she says, holding her hand up as she takes a bite. “I get it. You move around, you like to travel. No ties, no staying in one place.” She motions around my mostly empty apartment now, as if to emphasize her point.
I want to explain to her why, to tell her that I wish this time could be different. But telling her that would mean I’d have to tell her everything, including why I ran in the first place, and that’s something I know I can’t do. Not now, not ever.
So instead, I settle for saying, “Eventually, yeah, but not anytime soon.”
Mila looks up at me, her big brown eyes wide as they search my face. I feel like she can see right through me, can see every sing
le scar I have and every single secret I hold.
“Okay.”
Despite how awkward things started, we spend the next hour or so eating the pizza she brought over and going over her class list. There’s only one subject I’m familiar with, having studied it back home when I was getting my own nursing degree. And even though I haven’t worked as a nurse for over a year now, I loved my job enough that it’s something I haven’t forgotten either.
“I hope you’re okay with blood?” I ask, nudging her shoulder.
Mila gets up to grab a glass of water, her beer sitting practically untouched on the bench. “Yeah, I’m fine with it,” she says, shrugging as if it’s no big deal.
I laugh. “What about shit, puke and other bodily fluids?”
Mila pauses, her brows narrowed as she looks at me. “Other bodily fluids?”
“Yep.”
“As in…”
I laugh. “As in…” I repeat waving my hand as if to say, come on, you know what I mean.
“Come?” she blurts out, a disgusted look on her face.
I grin, nodding my head as if to say, yep, that’s exactly what I mean.
“But, what, how…why?”
I burst out laughing. “Mila you’d be amazed at the kind of shit people get up to that ends up with one or more of them needing a trip to ED.”
“Such as?” she asks, a curious look on her face now.
I turn to face her, my knee brushing against her leg as she sits beside me. “Oh, all sorts of shit getting stuck in all sorts of places.”
“Okay, Adam, seriously, you gotta give me examples here. I need to prepare myself.”
I move my foot so it’s resting on the rung on the bottom of her stool, my toes brushing against her bare ankle. A tiny shiver moves through her as her mouth falls open a little. I don’t even know why I’m doing this, why I’m touching her.
“TV remotes and arses spring to mind.”
“NO!” She shouts, leaning closer.
“Yes,” I reply, grinning at the obvious mix of disgust and curiosity on her face. “Apparently,” I continue, air-quoting the words, “he fell onto it.”
