by Holt, Leah
I had a taste, and now I was hooked.
Lifting my purse higher on my shoulder, I pulled out my phone and texted my friend Mia. She was meeting me at the salon for our monthly spa day. Mia had been one of my best friends for years.
And after what Quinn had said, what he went through with his friend, Mia had a more solid place in my world.
She worked at the bar for a short time and, we just kind of clicked. Besides myself, she had been the only other person I had ever trusted.
'On my way. And have I got some shit to share.'- hitting send, I shoved it back.
Pulling my shoulders to my ears, head set forward, I pressed on through the sea of people. A foggy daze filled my mind, Quinn had shown me a side of himself that he kept hidden.
Why would he show me that? He didn't have to, he wanted to.
I can't get him out of my fucking head, every damn day for the past week he's all I've thought about.
Doesn't he know my life is locked?
I'm trapped here, stuck in the only world I know.
There was no way in hell my father would ever let something interfere with his business, or me.
And if Quinn thought he could wriggle his grasp around me, tear me from the Macro; he was dead wrong.
My father wouldn't go down without a fight, he'd do anything to keep me here. I knew everything about the ring, about the nasty men who fought for him, and the scum that made his pockets fatter.
Fuck him! I've done everything I could to make him happy!
Don't I deserve something?
Don't I deserve to live?
I mean shit, I even had to sneak out to come here. If I wasn't working in the bar or at the ring, I was supposed to be home.
I felt like his fucking dog, expected to obey and sit silently, awaiting my next order.
Turning left up twenty-third street, the force of a shoulder crashed into my arm. Looking up, my eyes shot open, jaw hanging freely.
There stood Nico, with a crooked smile slinking up his cheek. His greasy hair was loose, with nappy strands dangled between his eyes. “Well, look who it is.” His raspy voice turned my stomach.
I wanted to bolt in the other direction. I didn't even enjoy inhaling the air between us. “Yeah. Look who, and look who's still going.” Lengthening my leg, I attempted to keep my pace.
A mangled hand stretched out, gripping my upper arm. “Whoa... Where is your little friend?” he asked, glancing around behind me as if looking for someone.
Narrowing my eyes, my insides burned with hatred. “Don't touch me!” I snapped, yanking myself from his fingers. “Good bye, Nico.” Rolling my eyes, I shifted away.
“Quinn, where's Quinn? I understand you guys have gotten close, does daddy know about that?” Pitching his words, talking to me as if I was a child.
“What I do is none of your fucking business.” My hands clenched by my side, nails digging into my palms. I wanted to slap him, and watch his cheek burst with my hand print across it.
“Ooo, sassy little bitch, aren't you? I wonder what daddy would say if he heard his daughter talking to me like that.” A thin, slippery smile pulled up to his eyes.
“Go fuck yourself, Nico. Oh, wait... You already do that, because you're a dirty bastard who no woman would ever touch.” Staring at him with slitting lids, the muscles tensed across my shoulders.
A soft bell jingled from my purse. That's probably Mia, wondering where I am. Glancing at the bag hanging close to my shoulder, the bell sounded again.
His beady eyes glared at me, grin turning down, lip twisting with anger. “Maybe, I should just make a trip to tell your dad right now that you guys had a little play date the other day.” A cold sweat trickled over my ribs, tongue sticking to the back of my throat. “Yeah, that's right. I watched him come strolling out of your place. So, tell me, Cadence, do you think the way he fucked you was worth it?”
Cocking my hand back, it flew forward. The loud smack whipped off his skin. I couldn't stop myself, it happened before I even had time think about it. The sting radiated up my arm.
Nico's face was hard, his head barely twitched from my slap, like a bull being blind sided by a bird. His eyes popped open, brows dipping angrily, as his hands balled tightly by his sides.
Bringing his hand up swiftly, I winced on impulse. Reaching for his cheek, he rubbed the flushing area.
If we had been any where else other than this street, I think he would have struck back. I hardly expected he was the type of guy who would hold the standard- Men don't hit women- But, here, out in the open, with hoardes of people eyeing us now, he knew better.
“Bitch.” Was the only word he mustered out.
I wanted to hit him again, it felt good. I've wanted to do that for a long time. I hated the way he talked down to me all the time, treated me like a piece of shit, just because he knew he was my father's top fighter.
“You had that coming, asshole.” Noting the bruising still reflecting under his eyes, a twinkle of delight filled my tone. “Nice eye make up you got there.”
“Fuck you, he got lucky.” Shifting his eyes away, he rubbed his jaw.
“Are you so pissed because Quinn might be taking your place?” I asked. I knew that would go up his ass, even though it was a bold faced lie. Watching Nico's shoulders arch up, eyes wildly searching the air, thinking that he might be getting replaced; it was worth it.
“Fuck you, Cadence. I'll be seeing you, you can be sure of that.” He turned and walked away, muscles stiff, his stride rigid as he pushed his hair from his face.
I knew I had just really pissed him off.
Was he going to say anything to my father? Maybe.
And for a brief instant, fear settled and knotted its way around my stomach.
Then, Quinn's face emerged behind my eyes, his smooth smile, even smoother skin. The map of ink that drew paths down his flesh, guiding my fingers where to go.
When I thought about the way he touched me, the feeling of safety that he blankets me with, it soothes my insides.
He was more than I had thought, he had secrets that spanned a lifetime.
Secrets that I wanted to learn, wanted to hear.
Secrets I wanted to feel again deep inside.
Looking over my shoulder, I watched Nico fade away into the distance, blending in with the crowd till he was invisible.
Finding my phone, Mia had texted me several times.
Shit, I hope she's still there.
Quickening my pace, my feet crushed the pavement. I was still ten minutes away, but determination got me there in four.
Grabbing the knob, I tugged the door open. The toxic scent of acetone flooded my senses. Glancing around the room, I noticed Mia sitting in a black leather chair against the back wall.
Her bright pink lips turned up, even brighter teeth glowing under the florescent lighting glistened. “Ah, I knew you wouldn't ditch me.” Her pants curled up her calves, feet resting in a small tub. “Figured I'd get these girls a little attention too, seeing how you were running late.” She pulled her toes up, wriggling them with delight.
“Sorry, I got held up.” Shaking my head, tension pulled wrinkles across my forehead.
“What? What happened?” She crinkled her nose with concern.
“Nico, that's what happened.”
“Ugh! He's still around?” Distaste rode her tongue, face scrunching up tight.
Nico had a thing for Mia years ago. He followed her around like a puppy dog and teased her like a prepubescent boy. Yanking her hair when her back was to him, cracking sick jokes about the size of his cock and how he'd love to show her.
Mia turned him down every time. Nico hated her for it. He pressed more and more, each feeble attempt to try and win her over failed miserably.
“Unfortunately, yes.” Dropping my purse to the floor, I pulled my jacket off and flopped into the chair beside her.
Holding a tall glass of white wine, she motioned for another, and pointed to me. “Yes, please,” I said. Ex
haustion filled my tone.
“How's the old man? Still riding you like a jockey?”
A woman dressed in a long black coat walked towards me, and passed me a half full glass of wine. She turned on the hot water to fill my bucket. Kicking off my shoes and sliding my feet in, the warmth massaged my skin and relaxation quickly followed.
Sipping the glass, I said, “He's the same, things don't change much. Except...” Trailing off, air spilling behind my lips.
“Except?” she asked eagerly, swirling her drink in her glass. Her bright green eyes glowing with wonder.
“I have a little crush.” I spoke softly into my glass, the words echoing off inside, enhancing the volume.
“Really? My little Cadence, who swore off men ages ago, has a crush? What does your dad think about him?” Tilting her head back, the remaining liquid sloshed down her throat.
“Come on Mia, what do you think? You know my dad.”
“So, he doesn't know then, huh?” A loose giggle expelled from her lungs.
“No, not exactly.”
“Cadence, you're twenty-three years old. You shouldn't have to hide a boyfriend from him anymore.” Mia eyed me with a sideways glance, a thin brow arched.
Tapping my forefinger against the glass, my lips pursed tight. “I know, I know. But this one won't fly at all.” Shifting to her gaze, I could see her face. She knew why, without me even saying it.
“How long has he been fighting for him?”
“Well, he actually isn't, not yet anyway. He said he won't. But, my dad is pretty certain he can make him.” Biting my lower lip, fear filled my chest.
I knew what Quinn had said, what he had gone through, he told me as much. But, to know for sure that my dad wouldn't be able to weasel his way into convincing him it's worth his while, I had no guarantees.
He was a man who rolled good cops to his side, made hard working guys empty their bank accounts in one match. Louis Powell was a salesman of his trade, a man who knew how to talk, and how to skim off the top even better.
“So, who is he? Anyone I know?” she asked.
“No, his name is Quinn. He came in the bar last week, and honestly, I can't get him out of my fucking head.” Closing my eyes, my head fell back against the plush chair.
“Have you screwed him yet?” The single question tugged my lip up, smirking as I filled my mouth with alcohol. “Ah, that's my girl. Take him for a test drive before you make the purchase.” She let out a high pitched giggle, clapping her hands together with her own amusement.
“Mia!” I gurgled out, almost choking on my drink.
“What? I'm just saying, it's good to know what you're getting into. I mean really, what if he sucked in bed? Or... had a small cock? He doesn't have a small cock does he?”
“Mia!” I huffed under my breath. Her eyes angled back, smile spreading from cheek to cheek. Tilting my head, I lowered the glass and said, “He's far from small, okay? Happy?”
I wanted to scream at her that he was the biggest I'd ever had. His cock filled me to the point where I could feel it in my stomach. The way he even looked at me made me drip for him before a single finger even graced my skin.
Damn, the mere thought of his cock, solid and engorged, made me wet now, just sitting here. He did unbelievable things to me with just his eyes, his scent.
And when he finally tore my panties off, his cock teasing me as it bounced across my thighs, it was worth every inch.
“Yes. Yes I am. Then I think you should go for it.” Crossing her eyes across the room, she waved the employee over. “Let's get this show on the road. These girls are ready.” Lifting her feet from the tub, she wriggled her toes.
“Please, I'm ready to be pampered.” Holding my hand out, I twisted it side to side, showing the worn, chipped nails.
Squeezing her lips tight, the tiny wrinkles stood up. “Cadence, you know you can come work with me. I'm sure I can get you in.”
“If I could I would, but that's not an option for me right now.” I wished I could just quit the bar, quit the ring, and go on with a life I created for myself.
But, how? I'd be leaving the person I know at one time had to have some compassion, some form of emotions.
I was still his daughter and he was my father.
Abandoning him? I don't know if I could.
***
Standing on the street, we hugged goodbye and went our separate ways. Freshly manicured, hot pink from hands to toes, I felt pretty good.
Mia always had my best interests at heart, and she was well aware of how fucked up my life had been. She had tried countless times to get me to work with her, and get me out of my hell.
I just couldn't do it, because it was fucking scary to leave the only things I knew.
Stepping out of my comfort zone, that wasn't easy; no matter how much I hated it.
The bar had been my only job, I wasn't able to go to college, and not because I didn't want to. It was a conversation my father ended before I even finished high school.
'We have the bar, you don't need college. Everything you are ever going to need is right here. This will be your legacy. I don't want to hear that question ever again.' Another let down in my small world, a dream swiped from my hands before taking shape.
Walking cautiously down the sidewalk, I tried to not bump my nails against the top of my sneakers; screwing up the polish less than an hour after getting it done would have sucked. Laughing inside, I thought I must have looked like a fool, dipping and dodging imaginary trenches in the pavement.
Yanking on the door to our bar, I flicked on the lights, ready to start preparing for the nightly swarm of drunks and party goers. I began my usual routine. A haze fogged over my brain filled with him, Quinn.
He had said he needed more, wanted more, of me. No one had ever given me that, the feeling of beauty, being desired, the intensity he had in his gaze, in his touch.
Now, I certainly wasn't a virgin when we hooked up, but everyone before him had such a flat feeling. There was no passion, no lust.
Quinn knew how to touch me, every part of my skin. He looked at me, really looked at me. It sent butterflies cascading into my belly, the warm tingly feeling burned from head to toe.
What the fuck Cadence! You know these things are always to good to be true!
I forced myself to think of my past, all the times I was hung out to dry, used and tossed to the side when they were done with me, or when my father got in the way.
It's going to happen again, you know it is.
It always does.
I didn't really know Quinn, who he was or what he stood for. Was this typical for him, his way to get in a girl's pants? Maybe.
The realization that I might be reaching for something more than it was hit me like a ton of bricks. Could I have been played for a fool?
You promised yourself you wouldn't fall for a guy like him again, you know they all leave. No one ever stays.
The metallic screech of the front door pushed me from my thoughts. Heavy feet thudded across the floor, a hacking wet cough echoed through my ears.
Straightening my spine, I looked up while hooking the spray bottle onto my belt. My dad stepped into view, wiping his mouth against a bright green handkerchief. “Cadence, my dear. Hard at work as usual, how was your day?” His deep voice cut into my ribs.
“Yup, I'm here.” Dropping my head to the bar I wiped the area speckled with cleaning fluid.
“You didn't answer the question. How was your day?” he asked.
“Like you even care. Give me a break.” Rolling my eyes, a rush of air gusted out.
“What's wrong? Are you still upset with me?” Rocking his head to the side, the fake caring tone pushed through his lower lip. I didn't answer, remaining mute I kept my face set firm. “Sweetheart, look, you know what it takes to do what we do.”
“What you do.” The words shot off my tongue. I didn't want him to include me in his world, like I had an option, and actually chose this life.
&nbs
p; Running his finger across the rim of the stool, he exhaled loudly. “Cadence, stop this. You're acting like a child. You know the rules.” His elbows slid forward, hands clasped together.
“Rules, yeah I know your rules. Except this time your rules don't apply.”
“They don't? And how's that? Please, enlighten me.” His hand drifted up, holding his chin.
“He isn't going to fight for you.” Shaking my head, both hands fell down to my hips.
I was tired of his bullshit, trying to rule every aspect of my life. Wanting to control me, dangling his fucking mind games in front of my face till I gave in.
Mia had been right, I was an adult, I didn't need him making decisions for me anymore.
“Trust me, honey. I know he doesn't want to work for me. He made that very clear. Lucky for me, I have something he will fight for.” A devilish grin peeled off his lips.
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” I asked, wrinkling my nose.
“Well, now I can't go exposing all my tricks, even to you. But, if money won't talk to him, I have other ways.” Slapping the glossy surface, he walked towards his office, door slamming behind him.
My brain shook, confusion filling the spaces between the anger singeing my brain. I had no idea what he could possibly offer Quinn to make him fight.
Threaten his life?
Threaten to ruin him?
Was he going to hire one of his mafia bidders to put a contract on his head?
I couldn't understand what purpose that would serve, how that would benefit my father in any way.
What good would that do? Why did he care so much to make Quinn do what he wanted, there were plenty of other guys who wanted a cut in his business.
Tapping my fingers across my lips, I stared aimlessly, wheels turned violently against my forehead. He's determined to have Quinn. Just so I can't... Asshole!
But it was more than that; in his mind, dominance was strength. Quinn, not giving in to his demands, sparked a dark flame inside his gut. A heat that twisted its grip around my dad's mind, and his refusal to lose. He craved to have everyone wrapped around his finger.
My father could have all the power in the world and it still wouldn't be enough.
