by Lyn Denison
Asha exclaimed in disgust. “I think we’ve put that little misconception to rest, don’t you agree?”
Peri laughed again. “I suppose we have.”
Asha lifted the sheet, kissed the tip of Peri’s breast and watched her nipple pucker to attention. “I suspect he didn’t have the right touch, don’t you think?” she asked lightly. She let her tongue tip tease the rosy peak again and Peri shuddered. “I don’t think the jury would even have to retire to consider their verdict.”
Peri grinned crookedly and then her lashes fell to shield the expression in her eyes. “Have you? Had any experience? With a woman, I mean? Are you?”
“Am I a lesbian? Yes, I am,” she said.
Peri swallowed. “How long have you known?”
“Since I was in my teens.”
“But how did you know?”
Asha shrugged. “At first I didn’t really know what it meant. I just felt out of step. Then one of the guys made some stupid, derogatory comment about lesbians, and I remember feeling very strange. Sort of hot and then cold. I could see myself standing off from myself, with everything falling into place inside me. I slunk away to think about it, and I was terrified. I’d heard the word lesbian before I really knew what a lesbian was, but until that moment I hadn’t thought about it in terms of myself.”
“Were you attracted to anyone?” Peri asked and Asha shook her head.
“Not at the time.” She gave a soft laugh. “Then we got this new English teacher. That was a different story. I decided it was time to do some serious research. And here I am over ten years later, a fully-fledged lesbian.”
“Viv said you’d had a relationship breakup.”
Asha nodded, her fingers absently rubbing at the smooth skin on Peri’s arm. “Yes. And it was with a woman. We were together for over a year. I was in love with her and I thought she loved me. She didn’t. End of story.”
Peri bit her lip. “I thought I was in love with Lance. I told myself I was because I thought it was expected of me. I thought he loved me, too. He professed to. But for the last six months, he was having an affair with my best friend. I could understand that he had fallen out of love with me, but I couldn’t cope with the betrayal.”
Asha ran her hand sympathetically over Peri’s arm. “It was the same with me, when I found out Tessa was lying to me.”
“Do you still love her?” Peri asked evenly enough.
Asha hesitated. She’d thought she did. Before she left the coast to come home she’d thought she’d never stop loving Tessa. But she hadn’t so much as thought about her for some time. Since she met Peri, a little voice inside her said, and Asha’s heart constricted. What if Peri didn’t feel the same? Asha had declared she’d never again let anyone as close to her as she’d let Tessa. She had to be wary.
“You don’t have to answer that,” Peri said and Asha shook her head.
“No, I want to answer you. I don’t think I still love her. But I did love her and it hurt so much.”
Peri nodded. “Me, too.” Peri paused. “Thank you,” she said lowly.
Asha glanced at her quickly. “For what, exactly?”
“For showing me there is an alternative.”
“Oh, an alternative.” Asha grinned. “Oh, yes, there’s definitely an alternative.” She leaned over and let her lips slide over Peri’s chin until her lips found Peri’s soft, so inviting mouth. And soon they were moving, murmuring together.
Chapter Nine
The sun was shining brightly through the lace curtains on the French doors when Asha stirred. She stretched her stiff muscles and smiled lazily as the events of the evening before came back to her. She rolled over, deliciously naked beneath the sheet, and caught sight of her shawl draped over the standard lamp. Her shoes were on the floor, so Peri must have retrieved them from where she’d dropped them outside in the hallway.
Asha sat up, pushed herself to her feet and pulled an oversized T-shirt over her head. She padded across to read the note that was taped to her shawl.
Asha. I have to fly to Sydney this morning, but I’ll be back late tomorrow. Till then, thanks. For saving my life. Peri.
Asha kissed the paper and returned to sit on the edge of the bed with its tousled sheets. She lifted the pillow, drew in the faint lingering scent of Peri Moyland. How could she have imagined that Peri was cold? That impression couldn’t be further from the truth. Peri was vibrant, so warm, incredibly sexy, and the thought of her made Asha’s heart swell. The word love drifted, insinuated itself into her mind and she found herself shaking her head. No. Not love. She didn’t want to be so vulnerable again. It couldn’t be love. Could it?
Somewhere in the house was the faint sound of a phone ringing, and Asha glanced at her bedside clock. She was way too late for breakfast, and she needed to take a shower and get to work on Vivienne’s book. She’d think about Peri later, convince herself she wasn’t falling in love with her. Yet part of her suggested she was deluding herself, and when the warm water cascaded over her skin, her traitorous body’s responses to memories of Peri only reinforced that sentiment.
After showering and dressing, Asha made herself a cup of tea and some toast, which she ate hungrily. She carried a second cup of tea into the study and sat down behind the desk. She wanted to check the English census returns for the Chaseley family. Switching on her notebook, she sipped her tea as she waited for it to boot up. The ringing of her mobile phone in the drawer of the desk made her jump. She placed her teacup on the desk and reached for the phone. Glancing at the caller ID, she put the phone to her ear with a smile. “Morning, Michelle.”
“Hello yourself,” said her sister. “How are you after your late night?”
Asha flushed. For one breathtaking second Asha thought her sister was referring to those amazing hours she’d spent with Peri. “Oh. Fine. I do admit I slept in a little later this morning though.”
“Me, too. Luckily, I don’t have classes today. It was pretty good, wasn’t it? Last night, I mean. Dad was stoked over the award, wasn’t he? He got choked up. I’ve never seen him get like that, have you?”
“No. But he rallied and made a pretty impressive acceptance speech.”
“I guess I sort of forget how famous he is. Danny reckons he’s the best fast bowler Australia has ever produced.”
“So it would seem.” Asha recalled Jack had said that as well.
“Suppose it’s because he’s just our father.” Michelle bit off a laugh. “Last night at the dinner, I kept looking at Dad in his suit and bow tie and thinking it was all so weird. I mean, I’ve never really seen him in that situation. Not that I remember, anyway.” Michelle gave a little chuckle. “You know, when Dad left Mum, I had a hard time seeing what Karen saw in him. Apart from the money, that is. But last night I realized Dad was really pretty handsome in an old guy sort of way.”
“I’m sure Dad would find that most reassuring.”
“Do you think?” Michelle asked. “Anyway, Danny said it was a mega important honor and he was way impressed. Men are funny, aren’t they?”
Asha laughed again. “I think it was a very prestigious award.”
“Mmmm. I guess so. You didn’t tell me you knew Joe Deneen. Danny nearly passed out when he came over to our table.”
Michelle’s change of subject took Asha unawares. “I thought I told you. He works here at Tyneholme.”
“He works there? What does he do?”
“The gardens are really extensive and need a full-time gardener. That’s Joe’s uncle. Joe’s standing in for him because he’s had surgery.”
“Oh. Joe’s pretty cute, isn’t he? In fact, the whole night was impressive all ’round. I felt like I should pinch myself in case I was dreaming. Didn’t you, Ash?”
“Yes, I know what you mean. But it was all a little too public for me,” Asha said with feeling.
“Too public!” Michelle chuckled. “Then you better get used to it, Asha, because I’ve just seen us all on TV.”
“On
TV? What on earth are you talking about, Chelle?”
“It was this morning. On Sunrise. Mum called me out of bed to watch it. They replayed some of Dad’s speech and must have interviewed him sometime afterward because he was still in his suit. Karen looked good, too. You’d never know she’d had five kids, would you?”
“No. She did look really nice. The color of the dress suited her. They made a great looking couple.”
“Mmm,” agreed Michelle. “Then they showed Danny and me and said what a great soccer player he was. He is going to be just so blown away. And he looked so great, Ash. And really hot.”
“And I’d say you looked pretty special, too,” Asha put in before her sister could begin extolling Danny’s virtues. And then she felt mean-spirited. “You both would have.”
“Thanks. I guess I looked okay.” Her sister paused for dramatic effect. “Then the camera swung around and panned over you and Jack.”
Asha groaned. “They really showed us? Tell me they just skimmed over us.”
“Yeah, right! You’re Sean West’s firstborn. He held you on his shoulder when he took six for twenty-one at the MCG. To bowl out six batsmen in one game for just twenty-one runs is still talked about in cricket circles. We’re talking historical stuff. No wonder that was on page one of the paper.”
“I was about seven years old, so that was eighteen years ago.”
“And there was that photo in the paper where he was bowling to you in the backyard when he was first chosen to play for Australia. Face it, Ash, you are news.”
“Okay, so what about that cute shot of you sitting on his knee clutching the cricket ball he used when he saved the Ashes for Australia?” Asha reminded her sister.
“My point exactly. I didn’t really think about it before, but Ash, we are newsworthy. So, where was I? Oh, yes. The camera moved away from Danny and me and there you were. With Jack. It was so romantic.”
“Oh, no.”
“Oh, yes. You were smiling, oh, and nice cleavage by the way. So, you’re smiling and Jack’s looking at you as though you’re the only woman in the room.”
“Chelle! Tell me you’re exaggerating,” Asha appealed, and Michelle laughed.
“Only a little. But you did look sort of close. He’s really nice. Jack, I mean.”
“He is nice. And I only asked him because Vivienne suggested I should, and I thought he’d like to go because he admired Dad as a cricketer.” And because I wanted to go with Peri, she added to herself and then pushed the thought hurriedly away.
“Ash!” Michelle exclaimed again. “You didn’t tell him that, did you?”
“Not in so many words. I just said I had the tickets and would he like to go. He said he would. So we went.”
“Sheez! Ash! You are hopeless. Jack is so great. Good-looking. Funny. Not too old. Smart. Has a job. A career even. And he drives a cool WRX. He’s a keeper, Ash.”
“Chelle, give me a break! I’ve only known him for five minutes.” She hadn’t known Peri for much longer, she thought, but it seemed like a lifetime.
“And your point is?” Michelle said sarcastically. “I knew Danny was the one in seconds. But anyway, I think Jack likes you. He was so, I don’t know, nice with you. And it seems to me he’s everything a girl could ask for in a guy. You can’t deny that, Ash.” She paused. “Unless he’s gay.”
“Of course he’s not gay,” Asha said quickly. “And I’m not denying he’s a great bloke. Look, Chelle, I think we need to talk.”
“Talk! I thought we were.”
“Chelle!”
“Okay. What do you want to talk about? Not Jack Moyland, apparently.”
“Yes and no.” Asha sighed. “Just things.”
“Serious things I take it?” Michelle asked softly. “Like you being a lesbian?”
Asha was shocked speechless.
“You can tell me I’m wrong, Ash,” Michelle added, and Asha sensed her uncertainty.
“What if I didn’t?” Asha swallowed. “Tell you you’re wrong, I mean.”
“Like that would change anything. You’d still be my favorite sister.”
“I’m your only sister,” Asha said, a knot of tears in her throat.
“My only lesbian sister. Right?”
Asha took a steadying breath. “I suppose I am,” she admitted softly. “Would you be all right with that?”
“Sure. Are you all right with it?” Michelle asked.
“Yes.” Asha got the word out, changed her phone to her other ear and flexed her knuckles. “So. How long have you known?”
“That’s what I was going to ask you.”
“Then, most of my life,” Asha said.
“But what about that guy you liked at school? Neil something.”
“He was gay, too.”
“Really?” Michelle whistled softly. “Wow! No wonder he was so great looking. I had a huge crush on him when I was eight.”
Asha laughed softly. “I had a crush on him, too.”
“Oh. You just didn’t want to do the kissy stuff, hey?”
“That about covers it.”
“It must be hard, Ash, you know, to find someone, I mean. Another lesbian. How can you tell? That someone is or might be.”
Asha shrugged and then realized her sister couldn’t see her. “It can be difficult,” she said carefully.
“Is there someone?”
Peri’s face appeared in Asha’s mind so vividly she felt her body grow hot. Then she saw them only hours ago, damp, naked, bodies moving together. “Maybe. It’s early days.”
“What’s she like?”
“Beautiful.” Asha paused and gave an embarrassed laugh.
“I’d like to meet her,” Michelle said sincerely. “When you’re ready, I mean.”
“And I’d like her to meet you, too.”
“Have there, you know, been other girlfriends? Before, I mean.” Michelle drew a sharp breath. “Far out, Ash! Not Tessa. Tell me you weren’t involved with her.”
“I was. But not now.”
“Thanks heavens! She was a piranha. Mum and I really didn’t like her at all. As a matter of fact,” Michelle continued, “Mum almost told you she didn’t trust her, but she didn’t want to upset you because you seemed such good friends.”
“That’s over,” Asha said. “So there’s no need to worry any more.”
“I am so glad,” Michelle said with feeling.
“So what made you twig about me?” Asha asked. “I thought I was pretty careful.”
“I don’t know. I guess it must have been hovering in the back of my mind and it just seemed to pop out. Weird, hey? I have to say, Ash, I often wondered why you didn’t have a string of guys in tow. But this, I guess this answers a lot of questions.”
“Realizing I was a lesbian answered a lot of questions for me, too,” Asha said dryly.
“I guess.” There was a moment of silence. “Oh! My! God! I’ve just thought about—Oh, my God!”
“What, Chelle? What is it?” Asha was alarmed.
“I’ve just thought about sex. Do you, you know, have sex?”
“It’s not just about that, Chelle.” Asha felt her face grow hot. “I just feel more in tune with a woman than I do with a man.”
“Oh.” Michelle paused again, and then made a strangled sound. “Oh, no. Does that mean you were sleeping with Tessa? Like sexually? Now that is gross.”
“Chelle,” Asha admonished, glad she’d closed the door of the study behind her. It wouldn’t do for Vivienne to walk in and overhear her conversation. “Sex with a woman, for me, is natural.”
“No. I don’t mean just sex. I meant sex with that Tessa. I didn’t mean—” Michelle expelled a breath. “So the sex thing, Ash. What do you do?”
“Michelle! Can we wait until I get used to you knowing before we get down to specifics?”
“Sure,” Michelle said lightly. “I mean, I’ve seen some porno movies and I’ve read stuff, but I’ve never had the chance to talk to a real lesbian about it. Te
n percent of the population is supposed to be gay. You’re part of a minority. And it’s part of the human condition, you know, Ash.”
“So it’s said.” Asha felt herself smile. “And when did you see porno movies?”
“My lips are sealed. But they were pretty tame I think.”
“I hope so.”
“Have I embarrassed you?” Michelle asked.
“Just a bit.”
Michelle giggled. “Okay. I’ll let you off the hook. For now.”
“I’d appreciate that.”
“Right. Anyway, what I’m actually ringing about,” Michelle said matter-of-factly, “is because Mum wanted me to ring you.”
“Is she there?”
“No. Relax, Ash. She’s gone down to the supermarket. She wants you to come over for lunch today, just the three of us. I think she’s feeling a bit fragile, what with Dad and the awards dinner.”
“Is she all right?” Asha was concerned. “I rang her after I spoke with Dad and she told me she was all right about us going.”
“She didn’t mind. Not really. But it might be nice if we both have lunch with her, don’t you think? We’ve scarcely seen you since you started that job.”
“I know. My research has been pretty full on. But I think you’re right. It would make Mum feel better. What time for lunch then?”
“Twelvish okay?”
“Sure. Will I bring a salad?”
“No, Mum said not to worry. She’s getting some ham and salads herself.” Michelle paused. “Ash, do you think you’ll tell Mum? About the lesbian thing? I know you haven’t told her because she absolutely cross-examined me about Jack after we saw the show this morning. I think she’s hoping you and Jack might, you know, get together, be happy, have kids. The whole nine yards.”
Asha groaned. “I don’t want to upset her, Chelle.”
“I’m sure she’ll understand. She loves you, Ash.”
“I know she does and I love her. That’s why I don’t want to take the chance on hurting her.”
“But this is weird, Ash. Being a lesbian is part of you, a big part, I’d say. So why wouldn’t you want to tell her?”
