She lifted her head. “You were seven years old, Rorik. What else could you have done? You kept your sisters safe, and that’s remarkable for so young a child.”
“I don’t think I was ever a child. Not in the sense that you would know. I’ve tried to give my people the best of everything. The best food, houses, protection. I scour the world to bring back luxuries for them to enjoy. I trade for the finest cloth, the rarest wines, everything I can so they want for nothing. Still, I’m driven to search for more, to do more. My blood is tainted and I can never change that, not even for them.”
“You’re not your father, Rorik.”
“Aren’t I? Look at the rage that comes on me. Look at what I nearly did to you in Hedeby. That is why I won’t marry. If I break like he did, I won’t do the same thing to a woman I’m supposed to protect and love. If I don’t have children, I can’t pass this curse on to them.”
“That’s why you pulled out before you found your pleasure last night.”
He nodded. “I’ve always been careful that way. The bloodline ends with me.”
She sat up, wearing only her thin shift. The front was unfastened and it loosened the neckline so that it slipped off one shoulder. She was so beautiful, he almost groaned.
“Don’t you see? His sickness didn’t come from his blood. It came from something that happened to him, that his enemies did to him. We don’t pass the things that happen to us to our children. Your rage is because of what he did to you, what you endured when you were so young. It still lives within you. It might happen to anyone. Perhaps, by speaking of this, it will help you.”
“In the north,” he said, “we value strength above all else. He was weak, flawed. Who’s to say I don’t carry that same flaw within me? Once, you told me if I wasn’t careful, I would harm someone with my temper. It shook me when you said that. Losing control is my greatest fear. It’s why I don’t become close to anyone, except my family. They saved me, especially the women. My mother gave her life for us. Lifa and, eventually, Silvi healed us. And the wives of the village risked their lives to bring us food in the forest. Because of them, I respect women and have always done all I can to protect them.
“But look what I did to you. I took you from everything you loved for something that wasn’t your fault. I made you all but a slave. Then, when the rage was on me, I tried to sell you.”
“But you didn’t.”
“No. Because I heard your voice and it brought me back. You’re much like my aunt and Silvi in that respect. You bring me peace.”
“Even when I’m talking back to you?” She gave him a shy smile.
“Even then. In a way, it was refreshing. In my world, everyone is so careful around me, partly because of the rage, but also because of who I am. Men follow my power, merchants want my money, and women desire my body. But none of that mattered to you. You gave me a smack upside the head with your sharp wit and sharper tongue and it intrigued me. It had never happened before. Everyone is too afraid of me for one reason or another. Not you.”
He took her hands and kissed them. “I find peace with you. The peace to be what I am. Not Rorik of Vargfjell, not the raider the world fears, and not the consummate lover who must be perfect. Just me. Will you stay with me? With all my flaws and tempers and imperfections? Will you be my light so I’ll see you when I wake and know the nightmares are no more?”
Her smile was a balm to his torn heart. “When you look at the scars in your mind, you see only the wounds that caused them. I see them as evidence of the strength it took to overcome those wounds. You’ve healed, not only yourself, but everything around you. You’re all that is strong and honorable. Men respect you, and your people love you for yourself. Perhaps one day, you’ll see this. You’re everything I could ever desire. Just for what you are. If you want me, just for what I am, I’ll stay here with you.”
He pulled her across him and kissed her. His heart was already lighter, and a calm acceptance of the past ran through his veins. Once again, she had gifted him with that.
She lay down beside him, trusting him in spite of all he had told her. He’d opened himself to her with all his darkness and rage and bloody wounds, and still she would remain here. With him.
Rising on his elbow, he blew out the oil lamp on the table beside the bed. He gathered her to him and closed his eyes. With her in his arms, the darkness had no more power over him. As long as she was there, it never would.
* * *
Rorik yawned into his cup of ale. At least the longhouse was quiet in the late morning. Elfwynn was still asleep and he didn’t want her disturbed, so he’d all but kicked everyone out. They had work to do.
He hadn’t slept much after he’d told her of his past. He’d made long, lazy love to her, then had lain awake as she slept beside him. The past had played over in his mind, but this time, he’d viewed it as though he stood on a mountain above it, no longer in the valley.
The anxious feeling roiling in him since yesterday had become stronger. He’d thought of asking Lifa to read the runes for him, but she was busy tending the wounded. That was more important. And, if he was truthful with himself, he didn’t want to know. Whatever the gods had in store would come soon enough.
Galinn came in the front door and strode toward him.“Jarl.”
A chill passed through him. Why? Was it hearing that title spoken again in this hall, or something else? “Just Rorik, old friend. What is it?”
“A ship has come in from the fjord and is signaling that they want to land.”
“Do you recognize it?” He stood.
“No. It holds about thirty or forty men.”
A good size, but not large enough to be a threat. “Give them permission. Have them go to the docks and tie up alongside one of the other ships. I’ll be there right after you.”
As Galinn left, Rorik checked on Elfwynn. She was just stirring, her eyes sleepy. He watched her as she stretched. Why did it feel as though he’d never see this again? Sitting on the bed, he kissed her. She smiled up at him.
He brushed back her hair. “There’s a strange ship coming to the docks. I don’t know what will come of it. They may only want to trade, but it would be best if you got dressed.”
“I will.” She started to rise, but he pushed her back on the bed and took her mouth with his. He kissed her, clinging to this time as long as he could. Perhaps this dread was an omen, such as Silvi got. Or perhaps it was because he’d finally found what he’d been searching for and feared losing it. Either way, he didn’t want to leave her, but he had to see what this ship was about.
He gave her a brief caress and left. As he walked down the path to the shore, he peered out at the vessel just making its way toward the docks. He never forgot a longship. He remembered this one, from the markets. And Northumbria. The Danes were camped on the riverbank there and when he’d left the earl’s keep, he’d passed it on the shore not far to the east. His heart sped up.
As he stepped onto the dock, he stopped. A man jumped onto the pier before the ship had fully landed. Even if he didn’t recognize him from the meeting with Edward, his resemblance to Elfwynn left no doubt. He was her half brother and was headed straight for him, a determined look on his face.
His stomach dropped as they walked toward each other. There could be only one reason he was here. They met midway on the pier.
Rorik inclined his head. “Wulfric of Redbank. Welcome to Vargfjell.”
His gaze never wavered. “Where is Elfwynn?”
“In the longhouse above.”
Wulfric blinked as though he hadn’t expected that answer. “I want to see her.”
“Of course. Come this way. I’ll have food and drink prepared for all of you. Whose ship is that?”
“The Dane, Brandr.”
He’d heard of him, but didn’t know him personally. He glanced at the ship and saw a large, dark-haired man giving orders as they tied the ship to another. How had all this come about?
When they entered the longho
use, he told the servants to bring his best wine and ale, serve the finest food, and prepare the saunas for those who wished to use them after so many days at sea.
He handed Wulfric a cup of wine and raised it to him. “Skoal.” They drank. “How did you know she is here?”
“I want to see her first. To make certain she’s all right.”
Rorik nodded, setting down his cup. He had to step with care around this. When he opened the door to Elfwynn’s room, she was just finishing dressing. Her hair was combed and flowed free, shining in the soft light. She looked at him, her luminous eyes questioning.
“We have a visitor. You’ll want to come out here.”
“We?” She frowned as she approached him.
He nodded, the sick feeling in his stomach growing. Opening the door farther, he let her walk out past him. She stopped short as Wulfric came toward her.
“Wulf?” She barely spoke the name, but it lanced straight through him like a spear thrust into his heart.
With that one word, he had just lost her.
* * *
She couldn’t move, couldn’t even think. Then Wulf grabbed her to him and enfolded her in his strong arms. His scent, like that of home, surrounded her, and all the sorrow, fears, and frustrations that had stewed in her let loose.
She sobbed so hard she couldn’t breathe. He had always been her great shield against the world and now he was here. Taking in gulps of air, she tried to look at him, to make certain he was real, but the tears and the sobs wouldn’t stop.
“It’s all right, Elfwynn.” His deep voice soothed her. “It’s all over now. I’m bringing you home where you belong.”
Home. The place she’d dreamed of all this time. Except now. Only last night, she’d decided to make Vargfjell her home. Sniffing, she looked at Rorik. He stood nearby, his arms crossed, his face implacable.
“I think we need to talk.” His voice was rough and his silver eyes glittered. “This is no one else’s business. Come this way.”
With Wulf’s arm still around her, they went into Rorik’s chamber. It was large and had a table with four chairs near the wall. She sank into one of the chairs before her legs gave out. They joined her, facing each other. Wulf held her hand across the table, giving it a reassuring squeeze.
Rorik eyed their hands, then focused on Wulf. “How did you know she was here?”
“There was an altercation between you and a Northumbrian woman in your market town of Hedeby. Word spread. I have contact with Brandr to keep the lines of communication open between us and the Danes who camp in our region. I went to him when Elfwynn first disappeared to see if he’d heard anything about her fate. I suspected you had taken her. He agreed. He’s kept his ears open for me. When he heard about Hedeby, he contacted me.”
She looked at Rorik. Why was there any doubt about what had happened to her?
“Wait.” Rorik held his hand up. “You must have known I took her. Why would you have gone to Brandr to question it?”
“All we had to go on was that you might have wanted revenge for burning your ship. It made the most sense.”
“And the ransom demand didn’t tip you off?”
He frowned. “What ransom demand?”
“The one your father refused to pay because she is baseborn and, therefore of no value.”
Wulf stood. “What lies do you tell? My father wouldn’t think that of Elfwynn. He has been half a man since she vanished. He’d have given everything he owns to save her.”
She put her hand on his arm. “Please, Wulf. Just sit.” The last thing she needed was a fight between the two men she loved the most, especially while her own head spun. What was Wulf saying?
He sank down. “When did you send this demand?”
“The day we took her. She would have been home that evening had it been paid.”
Wulf shook his head. “We weren’t there when it happened. My father and I were many days’ ride from the keep.”
“I know you weren’t home, Wulf,” she said. “But Father was there.”
“No. He came with me at the last minute. Neither of us was there. We didn’t know of your abduction until we returned and by then, much time had passed.”
Elfwynn met Wulf’s eyes. “No one was there, then. Except your mother.”
“Surely even she wouldn’t be that hateful, Elfwynn. It just couldn’t be.”
“Couldn’t it? She’s despised my mother and me for as long as I remember. You and the women at the keep live in different worlds. You don’t know.”
“Hating is not enough of a motive to send someone to almost certain death,” Rorik said. “There had to be more than that.”
“There is.” Wulf’s face was grim. “By our laws, a baseborn child may inherit if the mother is freeborn, which Elfwynn’s mother Rohesia is, and if the father acknowledges the child. Which our father did with Elfwynn. She stood to inherit a full third of my father’s estate if he should die.”
“And that doesn’t bother you?” Rorik studied him. “Men have killed for far less than that.”
“I mean to make my own way in the world,” Wulf said. “I can’t speak for my sister, but as far as I was concerned if it gave Elfwynn more of a chance to lead a secure life, I welcomed it. We weren’t certain she could make an advantageous marriage, so this would ensure she’d have a place in the world.”
She wanted to be sick, but she had to keep thinking. “Rorik, who did your man meet with that day? Can he describe him?”
“He made jokes about him because he was so scrawny. Said he had small eyes, like pig’s eyes, and thin hair.”
“Wigberht.” She and Wulf said it together.
“Who is that?” Rorik’s eyes narrowed.
“My mother brought him with her when she married my father,” Wulf said. “He was one of the fighting men who were part of her dowry, even though he never fought. He doesn’t stray far from her and I’ve always suspected he was not all he seems. But no one has caught them doing anything improper. We wish it were so, for then my father would have reason to divorce her.”
“But she could never have planned this out,” Elfwynn said.
“No, but she could have taken advantage of the situation when it occurred. When Rorik sent his ransom demand, Wigberht may have intercepted it and told her. She set the wheels in motion.”
“She sent me on an errand. I didn’t think much of it, for she’s done that before. Two of father’s guards went with me. They would know.”
He shook his head. “They disappeared the same time you did. We thought Rorik had killed them to take you.”
“I never saw them after they abandoned Elfwynn. This gets deeper and deeper. Was anyone else there who might have known what happened?” Rorik’s expression was hard.
“Only my sister, Rowena.” Wulf paused. “But I haven’t seen her since then. As Elfwynn said, we move in different worlds, so it’s not unusual for me not to see her for weeks or even months at a time. And my mother said she was disobedient and was being punished in her room. Then she said she was afraid Rowena would be taken like Elfwynn was and wanted to keep her safe.”
“And quiet.” Elfwynn held down a sob as her world reeled. Oh God. All this time, she had thought... “Father didn’t abandon me. He didn’t refuse to pay the ransom, because he never heard about it.”
Wulf took both of her hands. “He’s been sick with worry and grief. I’ve never seen a man so haunted. He loves you so, Elfwynn. This has almost destroyed him.”
She almost couldn’t form the words. “Mother. How is she?”
“I had her moved within the village. I have a woman with her all the time, seeing to her. She lives, but this has taken much from her. When I heard about Hedeby, I told her and that gave her hope. I promised to bring you home to her.”
She sighed, her muscles unknotting. Her mother lived and it wasn’t too late.
Wulf turned to Rorik. “I’m prepared to pay any ransom for her. I’m told it’s the price of a longship and the we
rgeld of two warriors. There would be no further reason for her to remain here.”
No further reason, except for Rorik.
He regarded her with utter calm, but it was deceptive. Especially with what she now knew about him. His revelations last night had stunned her, and yet they explained so much. Everything he was and all he did sprang from that horrendous beginning. He presented a hard face to the world, but inside, he was still mourning for the child he’d never been. How could she leave him now, knowing she might be the one island of peace in his turbulent world?
“Wulf, I need to speak to Rorik. Alone.”
He studied her. “What could you have to say to him? He took you against your will, forced you to stay here, and—”
Heat rose in her cheeks and Wulf’s jaw dropped. “You? And Rorik?”
“She. And I.” Rorik gave him a pointed look. “Now may I speak with her alone?”
Wulf pressed her hand. “Elfwynn? You’re certain of this?”
She nodded. “I am, Wulf. I’ll meet you in the hall and we can talk. Please.” She didn’t want him to leave. It was so good to be with him again. But there were things that had to be said.
Nodding, he stood. He gave her a kiss on the top of her head and left with a backward glance at Rorik. A warning glance.
When the door closed, she met his level stare. “My father didn’t betray me.”
“It would seem not. I imagine this changes everything.”
“Not the way I feel for you. But I have to go back to him. To my mother. Even if it’s only to let them know I’m well.”
“I see. When I first realized I had to take you with me or risk my reputation, I told myself I was likely doing you a favor by saving you from a father who didn’t care about you. It’s what I kept believing. That this was better for you. Now I see that’s not the way it is.” He looked away. “It is not your leaving that concerns me. I agree you need to go back to your father so you both can heal. I never had that with mine.
“When men are dealt a death blow, with their last breath, they often see their lives very clearly. I sometimes wonder if, when he lay dying after Ivar attacked him, my father didn’t have an instant of regret for all he’d done and I wasn’t there to see it. Perhaps he could have said or done something that would have made it right.” He gave her a wistful smile. “Perhaps not. But I still wonder.”
Lord of the Seas Page 26
