by J. Daniels
“Nolan,” Angie begs.
“He just said he wants to go.” I stare her down when our eyes lock.
She suddenly looks agitated, her lips pressing tightly together and her gaze hardening. A faint trace of that brusque, entitled woman I first met three years ago materializing in front of me.
I almost allowed myself to believe I’d never see her again.
Shifting Chase’s limp body in my arms, I move to stand beside Ben and Nolan, never breaking eye contact. “I think this was a good first visit,” I tell Angie, keeping my voice even. “If Nolan wants, we can set something up again another time.”
“He’s been here a whole five minutes,” she hisses, breathing in deeply through her nose. She looks directly at Ben. Her hand moves to her hip. “I’d like more time.”
“Did you not hear what my wife just said?” he snaps, his voice vibrating with anger. He takes a step forward, putting himself between us and Angie. “And what did I tell you on the phone? This is Nolan’s choice. If he wants to leave, we’re leaving. I’m not forcing him to do anything.”
“Maybe if you’d let me talk to him about it, he’d change his mind and want to stay.”
“You’re done talking. He’s ready to go.” Ben looks behind him. “Nolan, tell Angie good-bye.”
“Bye!” Nolan moves over a little so Angie can see him and waves with his free hand, clutching the dragon with the other.
I watch Angie’s expression soften as she looks down. She smiles dimly at Nolan, barely concealing her hurt. That’s all she gives him. She doesn’t say anything. Maybe she can’t without sounding too upset.
Oh fucking well.
Lifting her head, her chin quivers as she glares at Ben. “I’d like to speak with you.” Her eyes bore into mine. “In private.”
Gladly. I am so done with this bullshit little visit.
Ben turns his head, telling me with his eyes that I don’t need to go anywhere. That I belong beside him. Always, wherever he is.
I’d stick around for that look alone if I thought the conversation they’re about to have was suited for little ears.
I don’t.
“Come on, baby. Let’s go.” I grab Nolan’s hand, leading him away before the sharp edge of Ben’s voice slices through the air.
I know he’s holding himself back on account of his kids bearing witness, but even a restrained Ben is scary as hell when he’s pissed, which he is and rightly so. Angie knew what to expect. She shouldn’t be trying to assert any authority in this situation or making any demands.
This is about Nolan. What he wants. If she cared about him at all she would understand that.
I get the boys into the back seat of the truck and buckle them in. Chase is still sound asleep. He’s snoring now.
My funny boy. All that commotion probably put him under even more.
I shut the door, spinning around and leaning against it, watching as Ben gestures in my direction, looks at me, then turns back and continues laying into a distraught looking Angie, her hands covering her face and her head lowered.
Do not feel sorry for her, Mia. Think about Nolan.
I continue observing their exchange. I can’t make out what they’re saying, but their voices are softer now. Ben no longer looks irate. At least, not from this distance. I watch Angie nod her head, say a few more words, then hurry up the stairs and dart inside the house.
Turning, Ben stalks down the driveway, his long, muscular legs closing the gap between us in half the time it took me to reach the truck. His expression is indecipherable, all though I’m certain he’s still annoyed.
Why wouldn’t he be?
I straighten off the door, ready to ask him what she had to say when he moves into me and presses me against it again.
“Ben,” I gasp.
His hands cup my face and slide into my hair. He bends, claiming my mouth with his, swallowing the soft, breathless plea before it dies on my lips.
“You,” he murmurs, kissing me roughly. “What did I do, Mia? What the fuck did I ever do to deserve you?”
“What are you talking about?”
“She’s backing off.”
“What?” I push against Ben’s chest, just enough to peel his face off of mine. I look up into his bright eyes, staying connected to him, his hard body forming to my soft curves. “What do you mean she’s backing off? She was pissed, Ben.”
“I know. But it was you, Angel. Angie doesn’t want to compete with you. Hell, she knows she can’t. She had all this fire one minute, trying to argue with me and telling me she deserved more time with Nolan, but then I mentioned something about you being there for him and always seeing him as your own. That shut her up real fast, baby. It was like it triggered something. She started crying. She even admitted how seeing you with Nolan tripped her up.”
Ben grabs my face, dropping his forehead against mine. His warm breath tickles my mouth.
“You’re fucking perfect. Perfect for me. Perfect for Nolan. She saw that. She’s done. Unless he wants to see her, she’s not going to push anything with our son.”
I blink rapidly, trying to absorb this new information. Trying to understand it.
She’s giving up all rights to him, just like that? The only child she’s ever had, this little piece of her, the best thing she’s ever done and will ever do, she’s just going to walk away from him like he never meant anything?
“Are you serious? What the hell is wrong with her?” I yell, my own voice sounding shaky now.
I wiggle free of Ben’s hold and begin pacing in front of the truck in the grass, keeping myself locked into a pattern of mindless stepping to prevent a sudden charge up the driveway.
“Baby.”
I ignore Ben’s voice, my head down, my hands drawn into fists at my sides.
“She’s missed out on so much of his life, and she’s not going to fight for him? She’s not going to at least try and make this work? Why not? How can someone be done with Nolan? I don’t understand that.”
She’s sick. Disturbed. She has to be.
I would sacrifice anything for him. Everything. I would’ve fought for Nolan five minutes after meeting him.
“Mia, hey.” With a firm hand, Ben grabs onto my elbow, halting my hurried steps and tugging me against him. His other palm forms to my cheek. “Stop. Talk to me. Why are you upset about this? This is a good thing.”
Is it?
I stare into his eyes, seeking understanding, thinking about this a little longer than the second I took before I started moving around like a mental patient.
Angie isn’t going to fight us. She isn’t going to try and keep Nolan away from his father again. From Chase or me. She’s going to let Nolan decide if and when they spend any time together.
It’s his decision. She understands that now.
We aren’t losing Nolan.
We aren’t losing him.
My world slows. Clarity, warm and comforting, blankets me like the softest cloak.
With a shuddering breath I collapse against Ben, suddenly feeling weightless and relieved of the heaviest burden. I drop my head against his chest and bury my face there, whimpering when he wraps his strong arms around me, sliding my hands around his waist to his back and clutching at his shirt.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper against his neck, standing on my toes to get closer. “I’m so sorry. You’re right. I’m ruining this. I’ve just been so stressed out about it, Ben. I was so worried she’d try and take Nolan from us. God, I was worried. I’m just in shock, I guess. I’m sorry.”
He lifts me off the ground. “Stop saying you’re sorry.”
“Okay. I’m sorry.”
Laughing, he presses his lips against my cheek, then slides them over my mouth.
“You ready for your surprise?” he asks.
I lean away, my feet dangling in the air. “My surprise? Now?” I inhale a quick breath, remembering his odd behavior on the drive over here. “Oh, my God. Is that why you were humming?”
“Sure as fuck wasn’t because of this,” he grunts, reaching over and opening the passenger door. He sits me on the seat. “But we did get Nolan.”
“Yeah, we did,” I reply, grinning, grabbing his shirt and kissing all over his face, sliding my hands to his shoulders as I press my lips to his ear. “I’m so happy.”
“Me too, baby.”
“Please tell me my surprise involves cookies,” I whisper.
He groans and nips at my neck. “God, yes.”
Ben
“WAIT. WHAT ARE WE DOING here?”
Mia looks over at me after I shift the truck into park and cut the engine.
So adorably inquisitive. She still has no idea what my plans are for us, only that it involves hours and hours . . . and hours of me worshipping her perfect fucking body. I won’t give her any more details. Not yet.
I don’t need to. It’ll all become clear in a minute anyway.
With her nose wrinkled and her finger tapping her chin, she stares ahead out the window, then leans close enough to whisper, “Is this where we’re having sex? Like . . . in one of their rooms where they can hear us?”
I give her a hard look as I unbuckle my seat belt.
Is she fucking crazy?
“Yeah, baby. I called up Reed too. Figured he’d want to listen again.”
Her eyes widen. Smiling, a quiet giggle bubbles in her throat. She brings a hand to her mouth and reaches for me with the other, wrapping her fingers around my wrist and squeezing.
“Ben, what’s going on?” she asks.
“You’ll see. Will you grab Chase? My hands are going to be full.”
Mia looks around the back seat, no doubt wondering what the fuck I’m talking about. It’s practically empty back there.
“Um . . . yeah, sure.”
I step out of the truck, hearing the shrill snap of a screen door closing.
Luke and Tessa pad down the driveway toward us while Max barrels around the yard.
Nolan leans forward and starts bouncing in his seat the moment I open the back door.
“Uncle Luke!” He grasps frantically at his harness. “Daddy, how much time do we have? I wanna show Uncle Luke my new dragon and this cool game I just downloaded. It’s got the minions in it. You race them. I bet he’ll love it.”
I glance at Mia across the seat.
She’s unstrapping Chase, her absorbing eyes drawn down to my mouth.
“You’re spending the night, Buddy. You and Chase. You get two nights with Uncle Luke,” I answer, smiling as I lift Nolan out of the truck.
“Oh, yeah! Sleepover! Boo-yah!”
I hand him his iPad and he scurries excitedly up the driveway, yelling out for Luke.
“What?” Mia gapes at me, pulling a slowly awakening Chase against her. He rubs his sleepy face into her neck. “They are? Why?”
I grin and unhook the booster seat, holding it with one hand while I lift the bench and reveal the bags I packed and stored here earlier, unbeknownst to Mia. Two for us, along with a smaller cinch tote concealing a few personal items Mia keeps tucked in the back of her panty drawer at home.
Massage oil. Warming lube. Those sex dice she got as a gift at her bridal shower.
Suck this. Lick this. Kiss this. Fuck THIS.
Goddamn. I wanna rip into that bag right now. This four hour drive might feel like torture.
I grab the duffle for Nolan and Chase and hoist it out of the truck.
“Hey, lovebirds.” Tessa steps up behind Mia. She ties her red hair back into a messy knot and reaches for Chase. “Gimme that cuteness.”
Mia passes him off, then sticks her hand on her hip, glaring at me as I walk around to the passenger side. “Benjamin Kelly, would you please explain to me why we have luggage packed and hidden in your truck? What is going on?”
“You didn’t tell her yet?” Tessa asks.
I shake my head, bending to kiss Mia’s temple. She leans away and squints.
“Angel.”
“Babe,” she mocks, arching her brow. “Spill it.”
Tessa shrugs, bouncing Chase in her arms. “I’ll spill it.”
I scowl at her, fuck that, I’m saying it, then turn to Mia as Luke steps up to the group. I hand him the duffle and the booster seat.
“Got the villa early. We’re heading there tonight.”
Mia sucks in a breath. “What?” she asks quietly, inching closer. Her cheeks warming as she gazes up at me. “You took off work?”
“Yeah.”
“Is . . . is anyone else going down early?”
I slowly shake my head, laughing as she looks anxiously between Luke and Tessa, then back at me, those big, dark eyes wide with astonishment.
“Just you and me, Angel. No interruptions.”
“Ben, oh, my God.” She hurls herself into my arms, wrapping her hands around my neck and pinning us together.
I can feel her heart pounding against my ribs. The quickness of her breath against my cheek.
“I can’t believe you did this.”
Closing my eyes, I stroke her back and inhale the sweet warmth of her skin. “I need to be with you,” I murmur, only for her to hear.
I’d fucking scream it though. I don’t give a shit who hears my desperation for this woman.
“Yeah,” she says quietly, squeezing me a little tighter. “Me too.”
“I’d do anything. You know that, right? Anything, baby.”
Even if we couldn’t get the villa, or my leave had been denied, I would’ve found a way to get Mia alone. I’m feeling this separation from her in my bones. My blood. Fuck, I’m feeling it deeper than that. This goes beyond anything physical.
Just like everything else with Mia. Since the beginning, what I feel for her goes deeper than marrow.
Her lips curl against my neck. “Me too,” she says before leaning back and staring up at me. “What about this weekend, and the boys?”
Luke heaves the duffle over his shoulder. “We’re bringing them down with us. Got their tuxes and stuff for the wedding. And don’t worry. I just spent the last hour kid-proofing the house. There’s baby gates everywhere. Like every ten feet. I put those locks on all the cabinets and stuff too.” He shifts his gaze to me. “You know they make those things for toilets? Those latches? Why?”
“Small kids can fall in and drown. They’re a little top heavy,” Mia informs him, craning her neck to peek at Nolan.
He’s balancing his dragon on Max’s back while he holds his iPad in his other hand, some song I recognize from one of his favorite TV shows playing as background music.
I look back at Luke.
For a second, he looks absolutely terrified, his eyes broadening and fixating on Chase. His bicep trembling and the fingers gripping the strap of the duffle turning stark white.
“I’ll put them on,” he says quietly, looking down. “I bought six, so, we should be good. I can always get more.”
I laugh under my breath.
Luke has two bathrooms in his house. Two. I can tell him one lock is sufficient per toilet. Not to mention a real fucking pain in the ass when you’re trying to take a piss in the middle of the night.
Or, I can stand here and keep my mouth shut.
He wants to be a dad someday, he needs to get used to this constant state of failure and oversight.
Mia squeezes my hand. “I’m going to go say bye to Nolan.” She stands on her toes to kiss my cheek, then saunters across the yard, beckoning Nolan over and crouching down to talk to him.
I turn around and start unlatching Chase’s car seat.
“How’d it go with Angie?” Tessa asks.
“Good. Really good, actually. She’s not pushing anything with him. Unless Nolan asks for her, she’s staying away.”
Still can’t believe it myself.
I thought for sure Angie was going to be a pain in the ass about this, fighting me every chance she got and dragging me in front of a judge, begging for some sort of custody arrangement I wasn’t going to be willing t
o give. Nothing was ever easy with her. She argued with me for sport.
I was prepared for her bullshit. I wasn’t expecting her to yield.
I wasn’t planning on Mia.
Her presence affecting Angie. Her fire. The way Nolan clung to her like a son seeking comfort from his mother. His real mother.
I was a damn fool, overlooking my wife in that equation.
After working the belt through the slot, I turn around and sit the car seat on the asphalt.
“That’s awesome,” Luke comments, looking as happy as I am about this development. “She was straight-up crazy, and terrible to Nolan. Good riddance.”
Tessa looks from Luke to me, shaking her head. “Wait a minute. Angie just rolled over, just like that? I don’t believe it. She gets off on making you miserable, Ben. No way is she not going to fight you on this.”
I jerk my chin and shove my hands into my pockets, my back pressing against the door of the truck as my eyes narrow in on my entire reason for every fucking thing I do.
Mia kisses Nolan’s cheek and pulls him into her arms.
I look back at Tessa, shrugging. “It was Mia. Seeing her with Nolan messed Angie up. She can’t compete with her.”
“Well, duh,” Tessa says, smirking. “I could’ve told her that a long time ago. Saved everyone the headache.” Her eyes flicker a hair wider. “Speaking of which . . .”
Smiling, Tessa reaches behind her and pulls a photo out of her back pocket, careful of Chase in her arms. “Found this at Mom and Dad’s. Thought you’d like to have it.”
I take the photo from Tessa.
“I’ll be back. Just going to put this stuff inside.” Luke carries both car seats and the duffle up the driveway as I focus on the picture in my hands.
“Holy shit.”
It’s the three of us, Tessa, Mia, and myself, sitting close together on my parent’s back porch, the sun shining down on us and casting our shadows on the cement.
We look young. Really fucking young. I can’t be more than fourteen, fifteen, which would put the two of them close to ten.
Mia in the middle, her and Tessa with their arms over each other’s shoulders and their heads tilted together, both of them with their tongues sticking out and their other hands holding up peace signs.
