by Zoey Marcel
Greg stood. “Are you sure everything’s okay between you guys?”
Aiden faced him. “I told you we got it sorted.”
“You know he’s gonna think it’s hypocritical of you to own a sex club and forbid him to indulge in kink, don’t you?”
“I’ve done what I had to to provide for him and his sister. Try havin’ kids first, then you can judge me.” He turned to leave, pivoting to focus on his brother again when Greg spoke.
“I wasn’t judging you. I just think if you don’t reconcile your actions to your expectations of him, he’s gonna become bitter and you could lose him.”
“Your concern is touching, Greg, but I know how to handle my son.”
“How is him being bi better than him being gay?”
“He might not even be bisexual. Curiosity muddies things. It’s nothing to worry about. He’s been idle, small town. He’ll go to school and forget all about it.”
“What if he doesn’t?”
“He will.”
Aiden walked off before Greg could start giving out to him.
He owned Leather & Lace because he had to provide for his kids. He’d done no wrong in doing so.
The only hypocrisy was his animal attraction to Justin Huntington. He hadn’t acted on it. He’d done no wrong. It would probably be best to let the boy go to keep from ever acting on his intense cravings.
No. He would only need to fire Justin if he had a problem, which of course, he didn’t. True, he was attracted to him, but he had enough self-control not to consummate these strong desires. All he’d done thus far was look at him and fantasize. There was no harm in looking.
It drove him mad to think of never touching Justin, but he couldn’t, not after the lecture he gave Sean. It would be hypocritical. He would control himself and Sean would behave as well. They would overcome their twisted urges. He needn’t have worried.
From now on he would put off the idea of ever fucking Justin. He could just admire him in secret. He didn’t know how he would be able to stand it, but he didn’t have a choice. He had to be an example. Sean needed guidance, a father who was straight. Aiden decided to be that, even if it killed him.
No more men.
* * * *
Sean Friel walked into the church the following evening. It was late on a Sunday night, so he knew Malachi Brodie was there alone. He’d heard from Uncle Greg that the preacher had discovered that his son was bisexual.
Walking into the sanctuary, he found Malachi collecting papers off the pulpit. He looked dashing as hell in that black suit. A sultry storm of blue and gray peeked up from what he was doing.
“What are you doing here?” Malachi asked.
Sean stood in the aisle. “I heard about what happened yesterday...with Heath.”
Malachi’s temperament soured, eyes returning to the papers he tapped against the pulpit. “Yes, my sons are paragons of virtue and obedience. Makes a father proud.”
“What did you say to him when you found out?”
“Not enough.”
“Have you spoken with him since?”
“No.”
Sean frowned. “You haven’t said anything to him?”
Malachi laid the pages on the pulpit. “There’s nothing to talk about. My son is going to hell and he doesn’t care. Why should I?”
“Are you ever gonna speak to him again?”
“I will on holidays.”
Sean looked away. How could he possibly have fallen in love with someone as hateful as his da was? It angered him.
Malachi must have noticed his agitation. “Don’t look at me like that. You know Heath is in the wrong.”
“I think hating your son is worse than him appreciating both sets of genitalia that God made.”
The preacher shot a warning look at him. “I don’t hate him, just what he does.”
Sean nodded mockingly. “Right, hate the sin, not the sinner. You know what that feels like on the other end? It’s like saying to a spouse ‘I love you, but I hate everything that you are.’”
“Sean, don’t be dramatic. When he repents of his evil I’ll welcome him back with open arms.”
“So you withhold your love until he does what you want? Sounds like my da. That’s bloody righteous of you.”
“Watch your tone.” Malachi walked down the steps, approaching him. “I’m trying to do the right thing. I don’t expect you to understand.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Tolerance, isn’t that what they teach these days? Everyone accepts each other’s sins and holds hands on their way to hell.”
Sean loured at him. “There are a load of hypocrites going there as well.”
“You want to go there?” Malachi stopped in front of him, invasively close. “Don’t think I don’t know about the sins you struggle with. This hits a little too close to home for you, doesn’t it?”
Sean winced, forcing himself to hold that accusing glare.
“Don’t even bother trying to deny it.”
He felt so cornered. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Your browser history when you lived with me ...”
“You searched my computer?” Sean whispered.
“I glanced at it while taking it down for you before you moved out.”
Malachi had spied on him, like Da.
“It was for an art class.”
“Gay S&M porn?”
“Why not?”
“Quit lying to me,” Malachi snapped. “I know you have a problem.”
Familiar words floated back through his head, slashed something susceptible in his chest.
“You have a problem, Sean.”
“I was curious. So what?”
Malachi scoffed, shaking his head and rolling his eyes. “You’re so shameless it’s staggering.”
“Well, what about you fondling my junk and spying on me?”
The man threw him a threatening look. “I did not fondle you. I tested you. There’s a difference.”
“How about I test you right now?”
Malachi tensed, eyes softening with transparency. “We’re done here.”
Sean’s heart pulled toward him as the preacher gave him his back. “I’m not gay.”
“Sean, you’re wasting your breath. I know you’re not straight.”
His heart pounded. He was as relieved as he was anxious that Malachi had his back to him.
“Maybe I’m heteroflexible.”
The other man tittered at this, shoulders briefly swaying with the sound. “This generation.”
“Or maybe I was admiring the male physique the way women sometimes do with each other. Ever think of that?” Anger brewed inside him. “What about you?”
Malachi faced him. “What about me?”
“You’ve been single for twenty years. No dates, nothing. Then I kiss you and all of sudden you go running for the first woman you see.”
The preacher gave him a nasty look. “How dare you?”
“Did you like it when I kissed you?” Sean sneered.
Malachi stormed toward him, leaving him on edge, jittery with anticipation. “First you lie in the house of God and now you’re slandering me?”
“It’s not slander when it’s the truth.”
The man stuck a finger in his face. “You have absolutely no basis for that accusation. I suggest you apologize to me if you want to stay in my favor.”
Sean’s mouth fell open. “Screw you.”
“Watch your mouth.”
“All right then. Fuck you.”
He lost his breath when Malachi cupped his jaw and lowered his tone. “I said watch your mouth.”
His body heated up. Feeling Malachi’s hand on him holding him still and bearing down on him with hostile eyes while reprimanding him, did torturous things to his cock. He lowered his eyes, feeling deliciously humbled.
A torrid pause followed.
“Apologize to me,” Malachi quietly ordered.
His di
ck lifted in his briefs.
“I’m sorry, Sir.”
Malachi’s countenance darkened. His stance became rigid. “If I hear you cursing in this place again I’ll punish you.”
Sean sucked in a gust of air, feeling feverish at the way Malachi looked at him.
“Say you’ll obey me.”
“I’ll obey you,” he whispered.
Malachi drank in his features, thumb gently caressing his jawline once, twice before he immediately dropped his hand and stepped away.
Sean couldn’t stop trembling. Malachi wanted him. He watched in youthful awe as the older man slumped into a pew, seeming agitated. He looked weary, torn.
Trying to steady himself, Sean went over to him. “Heath needs you. It shouldn’t matter to you that he’s bi.”
“It’s forbidden.”
“He loves both of them—Heller and Danielle.”
Malachi stared at him for a moment before averting his gaze. “That doesn’t make it right.”
“He’ll end up like Carsten. Is that what you want?”
“If you mean married with a child, then yes.”
“You know what I mean. He lives in Kansas and never visits you.”
Malachi seemed annoyed and glanced away. “He lives out of state. I don’t expect him to come over all the time.”
“He never does. The only time you get to chat with him is on the phone. You mostly make small talk or discuss his son. Why do you think that is?”
“My relationship with Carsten is none of your business.”
“He resents you, that’s why. If you treat Heath as shamefully as you did Carsten, you’ll make him bitter, too.”
“Are you finished?” Malachi growled.
God, he was smoldering when he was angry.
Sean wouldn’t shut up. He didn’t know if that was the rebel or the masochist in him. “No. I know it bothers you. You never let it show, but nobody knows you like I do.”
Malachi eyed him critically. “I was married once.”
“She may have gotten into your bed, but I know you better than she ever did.”
His eyes pulled away. “Heath knows better than to act like this.”
“If he’s done any wrong, that’s between him and God. The greatest command is love anyway, and just between us, you have no stone to throw.”
“Get out.”
Sean shrank beneath the sharp animosity. He took two trudging steps.
“Sean, sit down.” The preacher let out a resigned sigh.
He stepped toward the pew.
“On the floor.”
His face grew hot. Bowing his head, he lowered to his knees at Malachi’s feet. The silence was one of the most erotic he’d ever felt.
“I don’t know who you think I am, but you’re wrong.”
Sean teetered on a seesaw of either smacking or hugging him. He laid his head on Malachi’s lap.
“I’ve only had relationships with women.”
Relationships, I know. What have you done behind closed doors?
It was possible Malachi had never acted on any attractions to men, but given his age, Sean suspected that he might have. He couldn’t think about that for too long or he’d be pissed. Malachi was his.
“So have I.”
Just one with my best mate and beard, but that’s beside the point.
He hooked his arm under Malachi’s leg and wrapped the other one around the front, enjoying the way his muscles tensed briefly before easing. His pulse jumped when Malachi ran his fingers through his hair. He loved it whenever the man played with his hair. It was so caring, so intimate.
“Are you gay, Sean?”
“I told you I’ve only had relationships with women. Or do you think it’s possible for a man to secretly crave another man’s touch even when he’s with a woman?”
The fingers stopped moving.
“It is for some. You told me you weren’t a deviant when I asked you.”
“Then I must not be.” Sean did his best to suppress an evil smile. He knew he was a brat.
Malachi’s digits glided through his hair again. “The porn on your computer was exclusively men with other men.”
“I was just curious.”
“Why are you so fascinated with S&M, Sean?”
“Why did you keep all the disciplinary tools if you don’t play anymore?” Sean countered.
No answer came for several seconds. Malachi’s hand rested on his head. “It was a souvenir.”
Maybe it was.
“Please don’t reject Heath just because he’s bi,” Sean pleaded in a whisper. “It hurts.”
“Why?” Malachi strummed his fingers through Sean’s hair again.
“He’s your son. My father thought I was gay and he treated me like shite because of it. He was wrong, of course, but it still hurt.”
“I’ll talk to Heath, but in return you have to answer me honestly.”
Sean’s muscles locked and he swallowed.
“Look at me.”
He didn’t want to. Slowly, he lifted his head and swam in the other man’s intense scrutiny.
“Why did you spy on me when I was out with Peggy last night?”
His guts plummeted.
Shite!
There weren’t enough masks in the world to cover his shock and exposure. “What?”
“I saw you at the restaurant watching us and again at the theater during the movie.”
“Same place, same time. It happens.”
“Sean.”
The man held his wrists immobile, keeping him from leaving.
Malachi’s blue-gray eyes were incredulous, slightly accusing. “Tell me what’s going on.”
“There’s nothing going on.”
“Knock it off, Sean. I already warned you about lying to me in this place.”
Sean’s forced grin became a grimace of misery.
“Why did you spy on me?”
He clamped his eyes shut, voice pleading. “Please don’t make me say it.”
His heart seized with a warm ache when Malachi gently framed his skull with his hands to still him.
“Sean, look at me.”
He opened his eyes, vision blurred with stinging tears. It was over. This wonderful bond would be destroyed by the truth. He couldn’t bear it.
“Do you have feelings for me?”
Sean broke down and wept silently, squeezing his eyes shut again.
Absently, it occurred to him that the man had asked if he had feelings for him rather than what his sexual orientation was. Something about that made it seem more personal, like he was being treated as a human being rather than a label.
“Yes,” he whispered.
Silence followed and he couldn’t bring himself to look him in the eye.
“I’m sorry. I tried so hard not to feel, but you’re too amazing.”
His heart broke when Malachi let go of him and said nothing. Sean cried audibly and cupped his soggy face in his hands to hide.
“I know that disgusts you, but it’s more than lust. I swear.”
Malachi sat there silent as the grave when Sean made eye contact with him again.
“I care about you more than anyone, even more than my parents and my sister and my mates. You’re my best friend, my hero. It makes me so angry when anyone says anything against you.” He trembled badly, trying to muddle through his words despite the interrupting sobs. “I know I should go away to school, but the thought of a life without you makes me want to die. I love you so much it’s breaking my heart in two.”
“How long have you felt that way?”
Not the question he anticipated.
“Years. I’ve wanted you since I first laid eyes on you, and I’ve loved you almost as long.”
Malachi got quiet again.
Sean wiped away his tearstains and sniffled. “I know you don’t think that men can fall in love with each other, but please. Even if my feelings disgust you, even if you hate me for what I am, please believe me when I tell
you that this is real. I really do love you.”
“I believe you.”
His heart clenched.
“Are you gay or bi?”
“I’m bi.”
If you’re bi, I forgive you.
Maybe Malachi would, too.
Sean mewled through a fresh fit of tears when the man gripped his wrists to stop him from getting up.
“Stop lying,” Malachi growled.
His head sank in defeat and he choked on a sob. “I’m gay. Please don’t hate me.”
The ache in his chest was excruciating.
Malachi touched his damp cheek. “I don’t hate you, Sean, and there’s no way you could ever disgust me.”
“You’ll reject me like you did with your sons.”
“I won’t. I don’t feel any differently toward you, but I can’t give you what you need.” Malachi bent forward and touched his head to Sean’s. “I’m truly sorry.”
The words cut him to pieces even though they were expected. In truth, they were spoken far kinder than he anticipated.
“If it didn’t go against your beliefs and you felt that way for me ...” Sean swallowed through the pain clogging his throat. “Would you ...?”
Malachi let go of him and stood, distancing himself with several steps.
Sean cleared away his tears, rising. “Please, just tell me.”
“It’s not right.”
“Why is it wrong? I was born this way.”
“You were born with a sin nature as well. That doesn’t justify it.”
“God made me this way.”
“Sean—”
“I’m serious. I wish I wasn’t. I’m just not attracted to girls. The thought of being with one makes me sick to my stomach. I can’t help it. I like them well enough, but I can’t bring myself to have sex with one. I saved myself for ...” Sean’s voice trailed off and he let his eyes drop. He felt heat rising in his cheeks.
“You’re a virgin?” Malachi asked in a breathy tone.
Sean met his surprised gaze. “I am. Why does that surprise you?”
“Not many people wait until marriage anymore, least of all the young ones. I’m proud of you.”
The praise made him feel like he’d been reborn. “You said you’d talk to Heath. Did you mean it?”
“I meant it.”
“If you can try to accept your bisexual son, why can’t you accept me as a gay? I’m not even a blood relation. It should matter less to you, not more.”
