by Kimber White
If I closed my eyes, I could still see those last few moments playing out like a movie in my head.
“She’s not yours, you know. She’s mine, Shelby. You have her because I let you.”
Able had advanced on him. I could do nothing but press my back in the corner of the wall. My mark flared hot as Shelby kept me there. I couldn’t move my arms or legs or even scream out. His hold was that strong.
Able had been so calm. So calculating. His ancient black eyes flicking over Shelby as he closed the distance between them. I felt Shelby reaching out with his mind, trying to bend Able. Then, I felt the force of the Alpha hold on him as he pushed him back to the ground.
“It happened so fast,” I said. “Just a split second, really. So many weeks and months and in the end, Shelby only lasted a few seconds. His eyes went red and it was like his legs turned to water. He twitched so violently, his head rolled all the way around. I thought I was going to die too. Because, I felt it when he died. In here.”
I put my hand over my chest and the other over the mark on the back of my neck.
“If he really was your Alpha,” Payne said. “You might have.”
“Killing him seemed so casual for them,” I said. “Like it was nothing more than kicking over a trash can or something. Shelby’s neck snapped when he was down on the ground.”
Payne asked. “You mean, he was physically there when it happened?”
I nodded. It meant something to Payne, but he didn’t explain what. Something kept me from telling him all of it. Able himself had delivered the killing blow. And my mark flared anew the instant Shelby took his last breath.
“How did you do it?” he asked.
“Do what?”
“You said you talked Shelby into challenging Able.”
I smiled and tucked a hair behind my ear. “I don’t know. But, Shelby was an Alpha. I think that’s the secret Able doesn’t want out there. I think he hasn’t been able to fully subjugate other Alphas for years. Maybe when he was younger, but not now. I think having me gave Shelby a taste of something he wanted more. So, I used it against him. I guess I got what I wanted. I got free of him. He’s dead. I don’t know what Valent wanted with me after that. Maybe it was just leverage against my brother if he ever resurfaced.”
“You’re so brave,” Payne said.
“Maybe,” I smiled. “Or maybe I’m just incredibly stupid.”
My stomach rolled as the last bit of adrenaline faded. Payne must have sensed the change in me. He put a hand on my back.
“Lena,” he said, his voice raising with alarm. “God, you’re bleeding.”
I looked down. My left forearm was torn open with fresh claw marks.
“Huh,” I said as I watched fresh blood bubble up.
Before I knew what was happening, Payne had me off my feet. Charging through the woods, he carried me back to what was left of our tent. He set me carefully on the ground and rummaged through the backpack. Finding the first aid kit, he set about cleaning my wound and bandaging it.
“Don’t worry,” he said. “It doesn’t look too deep. It’ll probably scar though.”
This got a genuine laugh out of me. “Haven’t you noticed? I’m starting a collection.”
Payne didn’t laugh back. Instead, his eyes filled with concern he pressed the bandage against my skin to stop the last of the bleeding. As he did, a drop of his own blood mixed with mine from a small cut on his shoulder.
The world turned upside down. White light sprang to my eyes and my heart thundered outside my chest. I couldn’t see. I couldn’t breathe. I felt a pull starting low in my core then stretching out. Payne kept a vice-like grip on my arm as his eyes met mine. His flared emerald green as his own chest heaved with labored breaths.
My heart stopped for a moment, then restarted. When it did, it didn’t feel like my own. As my eyes snapped open, a new pulse seemed to beat alongside my own. Payne’s pulse. My pulse. They were one and the same.
Nine
Payne
Color exploded in front of my eyes. I felt boneless, weightless. The hunger inside of me threatened to rip me apart.
Lena was a magnet. Her heart beat along with mine. As her face came into focus before me again, it was different. She was different. It was as though I had never really looked at her before this moment.
She was beautiful. I’d always known that. The wind lifted her thick, russet hair from her face. Her almond-shaped eyes seemed to go from green to gold. It was a trick of the light, but it gave her a shifter quality I hadn’t noticed before. Of course, though dormant, she had shifter blood running through her veins from her father. It would be so much easier to convince myself that’s all it was. Except, I knew it was something so much more.
Heat unspooled inside me. The urge to bring her close to me made my vision waver again. My wolf blazed to life, clawing to get out.
Lena pulled her arm away from me, clutching it to her breast. Her blood mixed with my blood, awakening a desire in me that threatened to drive out all reason.
“Lena.” My voice sounded distant, ragged. Beads of sweat popped out on Lena’s forehead. She was trembling. Whatever was happening to me, something similar had run through her. I knew it. I felt it. And yet, I had to get away from it.
“I’ll be back.” My movements were clumsy, faltering, as I rose to my feet. “We need fresh water.”
We didn’t, but if I didn’t put some distance between us, I wasn’t sure I could control my wolf. Lena gave me a slow nod but sat frozen, stunned.
I ran to the water’s edge and dipped the cloth bandage into the cool water. Lena’s blood washed away. Clutching the sopping wet fabric, I slowly knelt in the sand.
“No,” I whispered. “No. No.”
I had to wrap my mind around it. How could I face Lena again if I couldn’t get control of myself? My inner wolf called out one word, a drumbeat that explained everything at the same time it spun me out of control.
Mine. Mine. Mine!
Lena was mine. God. The moment I let the words take coherent shape in my mind, my breath left me. My heart twisted and lust nearly drove me mad.
Lena was mine!
How had I not sensed it before? Gunnar, Mac, Liam, even Jagger had told me they knew the instant they laid eyes on their fated mates. They had never questioned it. Their lives had been separated into before and after. Liam said he felt like his heart began truly beating the moment he saw Molly.
It felt like that for me now. Colors became more vibrant. Lena’s scent washed over me, sending fresh waves of heat and desire coursing through my veins. This was real, tangible. There could be no denying it. Everything she’d told me about what happened to her poured through me. A protective rage unlike anything I’d ever felt sent a violent shudder through me. My wolf ripped forth, unbidden.
Hunt. Kill. Take.
He was dead. She’d told me the Alpha who marked her against her will was dead. Still, my need to kill for her drove out all reason. I would kill for her. I knew with dead certainty I would never let anyone hurt this woman again.
I raced along the shoreline. The first wolf I’d killed still lay on his side, his blood staining the sand. I wanted to rip him apart all over again. So close. They’d come so close. Raising my head, I howled at the moon. I couldn’t help it, couldn’t control it.
I could feel Lena’s eyes watching me. My world tilted on its axis. She became the center around which I orbited. I knew in my heart I would orient myself to her for the rest of my days. Except, she was scared to death of me. The Alpha and this Shelby had taken something sacred and twisted it into something ugly. Lena may never want another wolf to touch her. I wanted to do murder for her. I wanted to reach through time and rip the eyes and heart out of any man who’d hurt her.
“Payne!” her voice hit my heart like a bullet. Her pain would become mine. Even if I never marked her, I knew it in my bones.
She emerged from the woods, her arm still caked in blood. Snarling, I imagined killing the
wolf who’d done that to her all over again. This time, I wouldn’t let it end so quickly. I’d make him suffer. I would send his pain back to Able Valent tenfold.
“Payne!” Lena called again. There was fear in her voice. Oh, God. I’d put it there. If I was right about what she was to me, it must have terrified her too. Her mind would war with her heart. How could she ever want another wolf to touch her after what they’d done to her?
She saw me standing on a rocky outcropping. The moon was at my back. She was scared, confused, hurt. Wolves had done that to her. I had done that to her. I was so stupid. How could I have been so blind to what she was before now? The answer thrummed through me. Wolves had twisted me too. Maybe we were both a product of what had been done to us.
I went to her. Through my wolf’s eyes she was luminescent. Tall, proud, damaged. I wanted to take her pain into me and keep it from ever touching her again. But, as she stared at me with those hazel and gold eyes, I feared nothing could make her whole again.
We seemed suspended in time. It was easier, in my wolf. I felt grounded, real. Lena was brave, strong, beautiful. She reached for me, acting on instinct. Her hand hovered above my head. I inhaled her scent. She smelled so sweet, clean and strong like a ripe peach. I craved her touch. My body shivered with wanting. But, she hesitated, then closed her hand into a fist and drew it back to her body.
I pawed the ground and let out a chuff. Lena nodded. She understood. Sure, we both needed some time to process what had just happened, but I also needed to patrol the perimeter. Though I was fairly certain those three Pack wolves hadn’t been sent by Valent, I needed to be certain.
With the tent in shreds, Lena was exposed. I hated leaving her even for a second but had no choice. I tore through the woods, letting my baser instincts take over. The echo of Able’s words from long ago poured through me.
You have a gift, Payne. A talent. You were aptly named.
I felt his hands closing around my throat. My heart hammered inside of me. It had been so much simpler then. Letting Able take control of my mind and actions had felt natural at first. He told me everything he did was for the good of the Pack. Keep it strong. Let it thrive. It was only later that I learned it was all a lie. Everything Able Valent did was only to keep himself stronger and in control. And oh, God, I’d helped him. For almost a full year, I’d done what he commanded.
Then, Lena’s words rose up inside me, echoing right alongside Able’s.
I think that’s the secret Able doesn’t want out there. I think he hasn’t been able to fully subjugate other Alphas for years.
The weight of her revelation slammed into me. I skidded to a stop, my paws carving through the dirt. No. She was wrong. She had to be.
Because if she were right it meant everything I’d done in Able Valent’s name, I’d done willingly.
Ten
Payne
I stayed away until dawn took hold. Lena stayed hidden under a canopy of trees. She sorted out the mess of the tent and repacked the backpack. By the time I came back into myself, she was ready to move. I bathed in the river, washing away the blood from last night’s attack. I had on a fresh pair of jeans as I slowly approached. Lena busied herself zipping and unzipping the backpack.
“How’s your arm?” I asked. “You should let me have another look at it.”
“It’s fine,” she said, her voice clipped. She wouldn’t meet my eyes.
“Let me clean and redress it. Shifter wounds can get infected easily.”
Lena froze. I wanted to eat my words. This woman knew exactly what to expect from shifter-inflicted wounds. Again, that protective rage blazed inside of me. This time, it came out as a low growl I couldn’t hold back. Lena’s eyes snapped to mine. I knew she saw mine flare bright. The wolf simmered just below the surface. No power on this earth could keep him back.
“I’ll be fine,” she said, slinging one strap over her shoulder. I made a move toward her, wanting to take the bag from her. She put a hand up to stop me. My gut clenched. She was afraid of my touch.
“Okay,” I said. “We should get going. If we stick to the plan, we should get within maybe twenty miles of the border by nightfall. Are you okay with trying to push it a little?”
I hadn’t planned to ask her. After what she’d been through, maybe a slower pace might work best.
“I was going to ask you the same thing,” she said before I could take it back. “We got lucky last night. But somebody’s going to figure out those three wolves are missing. If they find them, they’ll figure out another shifter did it. It’s not like the list of suspects is very long.”
“Right,” I said. “I buried them deep in the woods. That’ll buy us some time, but if anybody comes through here looking in the next week or so, they’re going to pick up the scent.”
“So, the quicker we get to the border, the better.” Lena set her mouth in a grim, determined line. Before I could say anything else she brushed past me. Again, her scent hit me like a bolt of lightning. I had to bite my tongue to keep from groaning. I wanted to touch her so badly. I wanted to pull her to me and smooth the hair away from her face. She could straighten her back and pretend all she wanted, but I knew she was scared. I knew her pain.
Instead, I gave her space. I let Lena take the lead as we hiked along the river’s edge. She didn’t want to talk about what happened last night. The truth was, I wouldn’t even know what to say if she did.
The hike became easier as the day wore on. The wind stayed at our backs, which lessened the impact on Lena’s body, but also helped me keep my head. When the wind shifted, her scent called to me, threatening to drive out all reason at times.
We acted like amiable strangers that day. We had one close call as we reached a point in the trail where the highway ran close. A disabled vehicle pulled to the side of the road. When the driver got out, my wolf tore at me. Lena put a hand on my chest, stopping me. Her fingers seared my flesh. God, the ache of it. It took everything in me not to pull her close. Heat shot straight down my spine and settled between my legs.
“Shh!” She put a finger to her lips. We stayed in the shadows, still in the woods. We’d have to cross the highway to pick up the last leg of our journey. If we were seen…
The driver leaned over the hood of his car. Smoke billowed from beneath his hood. He tapped a number into his phone screen and swore at the sky.
“We can cross further down that way,” I said through gritted teeth.
“Is he a shifter?” Lena asked. She squinted. I put my body in front of hers. Her nervous heartbeat fluttered. Instinct made me turn and put a hand on the small of her back. It was just a casual gesture, one that came naturally. In two beats, her pulse slowed to match mine.
She stumbled backward, wanting distance. I made myself still as a statue. I gripped a tree branch, wanting to yank it down and smash something.
“Yes,” I finally said. “He’s Pack. He’s alone though.”
“What’s he doing this far out?” Lena whispered. I knew she was scared. But, this guy was low level. As I narrowed my gaze I made out the details of his features. He was skinny, pale. An omega. I’d put him at eighteen years old, tops. He may not have even reported to the Alpha yet for service.
Before I could answer her, a chorus of howls rose far in the distance. The kid on the highway dropped his phone. His back went rigid then he dropped to his knees.
“Payne!” Lena shouted.
“I hear it,” I said. “They’re about four miles northwest. Going in the opposite direction. Relax.”
“Relax? Are you kidding me?”
The kid cupped his hands over his ears as the sound of the Pack grew even stronger. They’d scented him. Then, he turned and looked straight at us. His eyes widened and he raised an index finger, pointing at me.
“My God,” Lena gasped. “He sees us!”
The kid was terrified, confused. His fear poured off him in waves. I closed my eyes. He was young. Pliant. His heartbeat slammed into my head. He felt torn
in half. The Pack was close enough to reach him. God, I knew what that felt like too. The seductive pull would make his knees go weak and his heartbeat slow. It was a siren call. It would lull him to near sleep. When he woke, he’d let go. He’d belong to the Pack.
But, his eyes were still fixed on mine. He saw. He knew. If the Pack saw me through his eyes…
“Payne!” Lena had given up whispering. She screamed my name.
The urge came as natural to me as breathing as I locked eyes with the kid.
Submit.
New power rose within me. It was old, ancient. And it was mine.
The kid slowly nodded and rose to his feet. He took one look behind him then started toward me.
“Payne!” Lena said, pulling on my sleeve. “You can’t. You can’t take him. They’ll hear you!”
She was right. The logical part of my brain tore loose from instinct. I could make this kid submit to me. I was an Alpha by birthright. Claiming my own pack should have been as natural as breathing until Able Valent took that all away. But, if I did it...if I tapped into this power, the Chief Pack would sense it from miles away. They’d zone in on us like a tractor beam.
Except, now that I’d started, I couldn’t seem to break free. I’d unleashed a torrent of energy. Once uncorked, I couldn’t seem to pull it back.
The kid kept coming. He was young. Strong. Vibrant. His heart was good. I could feel it. I could train him. He would be loyal. I would never lead like Able did.
“Payne!”
Lena touched my arm. A kaleidoscope of colors burst behind my eyes. An arc of energy strong as an electrical current went from me to her and back again. She centered me. Pulled me in. Her will became mine. We were one.
The kid dropped to his knees again as I loosened my grip on his mind. The power drained from me, leaving a cold, hollow space. Only Lena’s touch kept me on my feet. I turned to her. She cupped my face in her hands. Her eyes lit with worry.
“Payne,” she whispered. “They’re coming. They know we’re here.”
