Payne

by Kimber White

  “Payne!” I screamed. The mark at the base of my neck flared. Payne let go of my wrist, but I kept the barrel pressed against his forehead. His eyes were blood red and not his own.

  Kill her!

  Able Valent’s voice blared inside my head. I staggered backward but kept the gun steady and aimed straight at Payne.

  Kill her and ease your pain!

  No. No. No. Able was close. His thoughts bled through Payne’s mind and somehow I could hear them too. With my free hand, I slapped the back of my neck, hoping to rip the mark away. It blazed hot and pulsed. It hadn’t done that since...since Shelby.

  “How?” I cried. “How?”

  Able’s thick laughter filled my head. He was everywhere and nowhere. He was in me.

  You can end it yourself. Turn the gun, Lena. Everything will stop and you’ll be free.

  My fingers trembled and tightened on the trigger. Payne was on all fours, struggling to keep his wolf at bay. If he shifted now with the Alpha so close, he’d be lost for good.

  Payne’s growl vibrated through me. The urge to turn the gun and pull the trigger burned through me. It wasn’t me. It was Able. He was trying to control us both.

  “No!” Payne’s voice ripped through me. His eyes went from red to green. He lunged at me. The force of his body against mine knocked us both backward and sent the gun skittering out of my grip.

  We landed on the ground with him on top of me. Payne’s body pressed against mine. A single heartbeat thrummed through me. Payne’s and mine had become one. With it, Able’s grip on both of us weakened just for a moment. But, it was enough.

  Payne scooped me into his arms and ran.

  Fourteen

  Payne

  Darkness swirled around me. This time, it had weight. It reached for me with tendrils of ice that pressed against my chest and took the breath from my lungs. Only one thing kept me whole. Only one thing kept my mind tethered.

  Lena.

  Her touch. Her breath against my cheek. I was drunk from her. Protective rage boiled through me.

  Let it go! You know you’re stronger under my control. You have a gift, Payne. Stop trying to fight it.

  No! Able was everywhere. His pull seeped through my pores. It was like trying to fight off a deep, heavy sleep. It would feel so good to just give in to it. My body needed it. I could stop. I could rest. I could lay down every burden I’d carried in the five years since I first broke free from him.

  “Payne!” Lena’s voice cut through the din.

  I carried her. Stumbling through dense woods, branches snarled in her hair. I lost my footing and we both went down. Sweat poured from me. My body was so slick from it, it’s a wonder I could keep my grip on her at all. She tumbled out of my arms and landed hard on the ground. But, she quickly rounded and pressed her palms flat against my chest.

  “Stay with me!” she shouted. “Don’t you dare let that bastard in your head. You hear me, Payne? Fight it. Goddamn you. Fight him!”

  The sight of Duke Miller’s wrecked body flared behind my eyes. Then, his face morphed into another. I didn’t even know his name. Any of their names. There had been dozens of them over the years. Men who Able Valent wanted to suffer or die. I had delivered all of them to him. Just like Duke.

  “It could have been me!” I shouted. “Don’t you get it? That’s what I am. I was born for it.”

  She slapped me across the face so hard, my jaw rattled. My wolf sprang to the surface and my vision went white. But, Lena had her hands on my shoulders now, gently shaking me.

  “You weren’t born for it. Able made you believe that.”

  “I’m an Alpha!” I shouted. “Don’t you get it? He didn’t make me do those things. I was too strong to subjugate. You said it yourself. I’ve hidden behind that for years. It’s a lie. I could have fought harder.”

  “Then what?” she said. “Then you’d be dead or worse. Birch Haven would still be standing. I’d still be there, Payne. If it wasn’t for you, I’d still belong to them.”

  She lies. She won’t tell you the truth. She’s using you.

  I snarled and brought my hands to my head. She thought she knew, but she didn’t. I hadn’t said the words. I couldn’t bring myself to tell her the truth. Seven men. I had the deaths of seven men on my conscience.

  “Get out!” I shouted. “Get the fuck out!”

  Able’s wicked laugh seemed to come from everywhere. Lena’s horrified expression told me she could hear it too. How? Was it me? I hadn’t marked her. Now, I knew I never could. But was just being around me enough to bring him closer to her? I was a conduit somehow. Oh, God. I had only wanted to protect her. What if I was the very thing that brought her back to him?

  “Don’t listen to him!” she shouted. “He’s a liar and a thief. You hear me Valent?”

  Lena was on her feet. Her hair flew wildly around her face. Her eyes blazed with fury giving her an almost wolf-like quality herself. She still held the gun in her hand and she waved it in the air. “Do you remember what happened the last time you tried to control me?” Her words rose into a shriek. “You lost that psycho Shelby because of it. I turned him against you, didn’t I? Do you know how easy that was? They’re all like that, Valent. All your Alphas. You think they’ll follow you blindly, but they won’t. They’re going to figure you out just like Shelby did. God, I could feel it seething inside of him. Why couldn’t you? You’re old. You’re weak. You need their power to keep going. It’s fading though. That’s your secret. You can’t hold on forever. You’ll wither and die and there will be nothing left of you but ash. For what? For what?”

  Something happened. Lena stumbled then dropped to her knees. Her gun hand trembled. She raised it, but her movements weren’t natural. It was as if an invisible hand had wrapped itself around hers and brought the gun up, pressing it against her temple.

  “Stop!” I shouted. I didn’t know how he was doing it. Was it through me? Oh, God. I didn’t think so. “You want me? Take me! I won’t run. I won’t fight. But, you let her go. She’s of no use to you and you know it. She’s damaged. No other shifter will take her.”

  I spun around, trying to get a sense of where Able was. I couldn’t track him. He had to be close. But, I couldn’t scent any other Pack members either.

  “Lena, stop,” I said. I went to her, careful not to get too close. She pleaded with her eyes as her whole body shook. How was he doing this? I pushed back hard with my mind. But, this pull wasn’t coming from me. Able was in her head.

  I moved around her, careful not to touch her. The wind lifted her hair and I saw her mark flaring red.

  “Lena,” I said, my words catching. “Did he...did Able…”

  “No!” she cried. “Payne, help me!”

  My wolf sprang out of me. I couldn’t stop it. Every protective instinct in me burst forth. He would not win. If it meant I had to give myself over to the Pack, it would be worth it. I would see Lena safe. I would not let him hurt her.

  I lunged for her, catching Lena’s wrist with a soft mouth. The gun skittered from her grip and discharged. The bullet ricocheted against a tree branch, sending a spray of wood chips in every direction.

  Able’s influence was still strong, but the pull between Lena and me was even stronger. I threw my head back and let loose a howl from the depths of my soul. It seemed to take over my body and fill the air around us. Every creature within a hundred yards scattered. The sound drowned out Able’s voice and wrapped around Lena.

  She got to her feet and came to me. My call drove her harder than anything Able Valent could do to either of us. She was mine. We were fated. I would not let him touch her again.

  Lena wrapped her arms around my neck. I crouched low so she could climb on my back. Instinct kicked in and I ran for all I was worth.

  Fifteen

  Lena

  We flew. With each step Payne took, the hold Able had on the both of us faded. My heart thrummed in time with Payne’s as I wrapped my arms around his powerful body. My fing
ers sank into his thick, soft fur and I pressed my cheek against his back. His mighty heart beat in time with my own.

  I don’t know if Payne planned his path. I think he just meant to get as much distance between Able and us as he could. As the sun dipped below the horizon, my breath caught. Payne finally slowed as the air changed and the temperature dropped.

  I slid off his back. My limbs turned to rubber as I tried to regain my footing. We were in another deep valley with woods all around. Ahead, water churned and the wind rushed past my ears.

  “We’re here,” I said, my voice sounding small and distant like I hadn’t used it in years.

  Payne’s wolf stood at my side. I reached for him. I’d been so afraid to touch him for so long; now I couldn’t go more than a few seconds without it.

  With my hand on his back, he shifted. The force of it blew my hair back. Where my fingers sank into his fur, they now felt the solid flesh at the small of his back as he stood beside me.

  “Is that what I think it is?” I asked.

  “Those lights in the distance are Banchory,” he said. “We’re at the Ohio River.”

  My heart flared with renewed hope and terror all at once. We’d done it. We’d reached the border. I could see freedom on the opposite banks of the wide, churning river. The current was strong, but I wondered if I could simply dive in and swim to the other side.

  I walked toward it. My steps faltered at first, but before I knew it, I was running. Panic seized my heart. We were so close. It couldn’t be this easy. Able knew what we were trying to do. I’d felt him probing my thoughts and Payne’s too. This had to be a trap.

  “Come on!” I shrieked. “We have to make a run for it now. Able’s going to catch up. He’s known all along what we were trying to do.”

  Payne’s grip on my arm pulled me back. I whipped around to face him, my hair flying in my face.

  “What!? My God, what are you waiting for? We have to go! Now!”

  Payne grabbed me by the shoulders, rooting me to one spot. “Your mark,” he said. “Lena.”

  He said other things, but his words blended together. The proximity to freedom made me a little drunk. I couldn’t think straight.

  “Lena!” he shook me again. “What happened back there? That wasn’t me. Able wasn’t getting to you through me. You have to tell me. I need to know exactly how you got that mark.”

  I pulled away from him. “What difference does it make? And I already told you. His name was Shelby. Now, I don’t ever want to say it again.”

  “Right,” Payne said. He started to pace. His eyes flashed with wild fury. “And he’s dead. You’re sure of it.”

  I let out a hard breath. “Yes.”

  “Tell me how you know. I need to be sure. Because you were two seconds from blowing your own head off back there. And you weren’t doing it of your own free will. He’s tapped into you, Lena. I need to figure out how.”

  “I know because I saw Shelby’s head separate from his shoulders, okay? Not even a shifter can survive a wound like that.”

  “How?” Payne wasn’t satisfied. He rounded on me, blocking my view of the river.

  I squeezed my eyes shut, not wanting to give another second of my thoughts to Shelby or Able or any of it. But, I knew Payne was right. If it happened once, it could happen again.

  “Able,” I said. “When he realized Shelby couldn’t be controlled, he killed him. He had just enough control to keep him from fighting back. But, Able went for him and ripped his head off. He laid it at my feet to show me just how powerful he was. Okay? Is that what you needed to know? As far as how Able can get in my head…”

  Payne dropped his chin. “My God,” he said. “I’ve been so stupid not to realize it before. Lena. Able killed your Alpha.”

  “Stop it. I told you never to call him that. Shelby wasn’t my anything.”

  “I know. I know. You’re right. I’m sorry. But, what I’m trying to say is that I think you’re wrong about what happened to Shelby just before he died. I think he did subjugate to Able. Even if it was for a split second. It was long enough to let Able control your mark.”

  I slapped my hand on the back of my neck. The scar was cool now, but it had flared hot back in the woods. Able’s command had burned through me. His voice had been inside my head.

  “Take it away,” I said, breathless. “Tell me how to take it away. Payne, please. There has to be a way. Cut it out of me. I don’t care how much it hurts. I can’t let it happen again. I really would rather die than leave myself open to that.”

  Tears streamed down my face. Payne stood before me, his face ashen. “Lena...I can’t…”

  “Yes,” I said. “You have to. If Able can get to me through this mark, then cut it away. I’ve tried a hundred times. Something always stops me. It’s like a hand closes over mine and I can’t make it happen. Now, you’re telling me that hand has been Able all along? No. Hell, no. I won’t live like this. Taking me across the border won’t be enough to release me from him, will it?”

  Payne put his hands on top of his head as if he were afraid it would pop off. Fresh from his shift, he stood naked before me. In all the chaos, I hadn’t even been aware of it. I’d grown up around shifters my whole life. This was just as natural as being near their wolves. It was different this time though. My senses heightened around him. I could feel his body heat coming off of him in waves. His blood raged and his heart pounded a furious beat matching my own.

  “Payne,” I said, my voice choked. We’d emerged in the thickest part of the woods near the river. The place seemed desolate. Wild. As if this small patch of earth had somehow gone untouched from the pioneer days. I could see the lights of the bridge and the belching smokestacks from a steel mill on the other side of the river. They couldn’t touch us though. There was magic in this place. I felt it. I breathed it.

  Again, my hand went to the cruel scar at the back of my neck. It had been forced upon me like so many other things. I hadn’t wanted it. I hated what it represented. I vowed I’d never let another man touch me, let alone a shifter.

  But, I’d been fooling myself and I knew that now. Payne wouldn’t say the words. He stood before me, chest heaving, his eyes alight with fury and passion.

  “Able can touch me,” I said. I took a hesitant step toward him. Payne stood in a ready stance, his feet planted wide apart. His arms bent at the elbow. His fists clenched against his need. My need. A muscle twitched in his jaw as he ground his teeth together.

  “Yes,” he whispered. “I don’t know why he’s waited this long.”

  “And he can do it again. Anytime he wants?” I knew the answer. Even now, I thought that if I closed my eyes and went very still, I’d be able to hear Valent’s voice in the distance. He’d never risk coming this close to the border. But, if I crossed now with his connection to me unbroken, I knew in my heart I’d never truly be free.

  “Take it away,” I said for the third time. I raised my chin and leveled my gaze at Payne. His flared bright.

  “Lena.” Payne swayed on his feet as if the weight of my words settled on his shoulders.

  I went to him. I don’t know what he would have said if I’d let him. For my part, I was beyond words. Pulsing need spread through me. I wanted this. Needed this. At first it had to do with Able, but with each step I took toward Payne, it became something else.

  My fingers hovered, suspended in midair for an instant as I stood no more than an inch from Payne. I had to crane my neck to keep his eyes. A low, guttural noise escaped from his throat. Then, he brought his hands up and threaded them through mine.

  I tilted my head. Payne brought his chin down and touched his lips to mine. Lightning cracked inside my brain. My nerve endings sparked with heat from the base of my neck straight down to my toes.

  When my knees buckled, Payne slid a strong hand around my waist. As he leaned forward, deepening the kiss, my back arched. He held me in a swoon. Heat pulsed through me, settling between my legs. My jeans scraped against my newly s
ensitive skin. I wanted more. So much more. It wasn’t enough to just have Payne’s lips against mine and his arm around my waist.

  He broke first, coming up for air. I staggered backward, bringing my hand to my lips. The skin was swollen and hot. Just that simple touch had changed something in me on a molecular level. God, I could feel it. My nerves and cells seemed to realign as if they’d magnetized and Payne was true north.

  “Lena,” he said my name again. This time, his voice had a raw edge as if he could barely keep his wolf contained. I didn’t want him to. The second I thought it, I wanted to lunge for him, I wanted to scratch and claw and bring the beast out. His eyes held a question and a promise. He found the strength to give voice to it.

  “With Shelby…” I said, my voice raw. Payne blanched. He seemed to shiver between wolf and man, struggling to maintain control.

  “He hurt you,” Payne said. “What he did to you...I would never do. I would never force myself on you…”

  “No!” I cried. “No, Payne. Shelby didn’t...I mean we never…Able wanted him to. He goaded Shelby. But, he didn’t. There was something wrong with Shelby. He couldn’t...I don’t know. We were never intimate like that. But...he cut me instead. When I realized he wouldn’t force himself on me, that’s when I got the idea to try to turn him against Able.”

  Payne’s face went through a thousand changes. There was a flicker of relief, followed by instant rage as he imagined Shelby hurting me. Then, it all seemed to fall away and there was just the two of us. Our pasts melted into the ether, at least for now.

  “I’ll never touch you unless you want it,” he snarled, showing me a hint of fang that set my blood humming. “But, if I touch you again, I won’t be able to stop.”

  There it was. My choice. Once I’d made it, there would be no going back. I thought I wanted to be free of shifters forever. But, as Payne stood before me, naked and wild, I knew I’d never truly be free without him.