by L A Cotton
“Straight to your dorm, Josie. You don’t want to go over there and do something you might regret.”
“I wasn’t—” She stopped herself, guilt shining in her eyes. “Fine.” An indignant huff slipped through her lips as she slid across the seat and shouldered the door. Climbing out, Josie paused at the last second. “Zach?”
“Yeah?”
“Thanks for not letting me go over there and do something stupid.”
I nodded, too overwhelmed to reply.
I watched Josie as she disappeared into the dorm building and then I got out and went around to the passenger side. I’d have to carry Calli unless by some small miracle she woke up and found her legs.
“Z- Zach?” It was a muted groan.
“Yeah, sweet pea, it’s me.” I managed to pull her from the car and into my arms.
“What’s happening?” she asked.
“Ssh. I’ve got you.”
That seemed to settle her, but it only made my heart beat harder.
I cradled her against my chest as I carried her into Abrams. A couple of girls were milling in the hall and gasped when they saw me.
“Is she okay?” one asked.
“Nothing a good night’s sleep and a gallon of water won’t fix.”
They both sighed dreamily as I stalked off toward the elevator. Of course she had to live on the second floor.
Thankfully, Calli’s hall was empty when the doors pinged open. Until I realized my rookie error. Her key card. How the fuck was I going to find her key card?
“Calli?” I whispered, shaking her gently as we came to stop outside her door. “Calli.”
“Hmm-mmm.” She murmured, cuddling up closer to my body.
Shit, I was going to have to put her down.
Holding her weight with one arm, I gently lowered her legs to the ground, keeping her close to my body as I fumbled in her pockets to search for the key card. Eventually, it grazed my fingers and I plucked it out, reaching around her to open the door.
“Let’s get you to bed,” I mumbled to myself since Calli was still out of it.
I picked her up again and carried her straight into the bedroom, laying her on the bed. “Z- Zach?” Her eyes flickered open, and I froze. “What are you—”
“Ssh, sweet pea,” I said, brushing the flyaway hairs out of her face. “Sleep.”
“Stay...” she whispered, her fingers twisting into my t-shirt. “Please.”
“Calli, I’m not sure—”
“Please.” Her glassy eyes pleaded with me. “Things always felt better when you were next to me.”
Fuck.
Calli began trying to strip out of her clothes, her clumsy uncoordinated movements making me smile.
“A little help?” I asked.
“I can do it,” she slurred, her head rolling as she tried to pull the hoodie off her body.
“Calli, stop.” Swatting her hands away, I gathered the material in my fingers and gently eased it over her head.
She dropped onto the pillows with a gentle thud. “That’s better.” I couldn’t help but look at her as she shifted and wriggled to get comfortable.
In fact. I couldn’t take my fucking eyes off her.
Calli let out a little sigh, her eyes closed and her chest rose and fell with every breath. I waited, certain she’d fallen back to sleep, then I went to leave.
But her hand shot out, grabbing me. “Stay,” her voice was a pleading whisper, “Please”.
“Yeah.” I swallowed over the ball of emotion in my throat. “Okay.”
Toeing off my sneakers, I pulled off my t-shirt and crawled into bed beside her. It was only a single, with barely room for the two of us. But Calli snuggled close, our bodies pressed together. “I’ve missed this,” she said quietly, the liquor still coating her words. “I’ve missed you, Zach.”
She lifted her head, her lips grazing my throat. My body stirred to life, anticipation and need vibrating beneath my skin. It would be so easy to roll Calli underneath me and take her. She wanted me. Even in her inebriated state, she still wanted me, as if her body sensed I was close. But I wasn’t about to fuck her while she was wasted. Because the next time I was inside her, I wanted her to remember every single detail.
Her hands started exploring my skin, setting me on fire.
“Sweet pea,” I warned. “What are you doing?”
“I- I don’t know,” she admitted. “But I don’t want to stop.”
Fuck. She wasn’t making this easy. I cupped her face and tilted her to me. “Sleep.”
Calli blinked, hurt flashing there. “You don’t wa—”
“Don’t even go there,” I said. “You’re drunk. I don’t want you to do something you’ll regret in the morning.”
“Asshole Zach would.”
“Yeah, well asshole Zach would do a lot of things, so it’s probably a good thing asshole Zach isn’t here right now.” I tucked her back against my chest, hoping she would drop it. Now wasn’t the time for a heart to heart.
Relief spread through me, but then she pressed a single kiss to my throat and my entire body froze, waiting.
A beat passed.
And another.
My skin burning for her.
But eventually her breathing evened out and I knew she was asleep.
Calliope James was asleep in my arms and I hadn’t felt such peace in a long time.
Something brushed my nose, rousing me from a deep sleep. I cracked my eyes open to find Calli’s hair fanned over my face. At some point in the night, she’d rolled away from me, her ass brushing dangerously close to my morning wood.
Jesus, she felt good.
My arm hung possessively over her waist as I spooned her, and our legs were tangled together with easy familiarity, as if we did this all the time. But despite our precarious position, I still had the almighty need to drag her closer, to erase every molecule of space between us.
“Zach?” My name was a sleepy sigh.
“Yeah?”
“Just checking.” Her soft laughter was like music to my ears.
My fingers tickled her ribs. “Nice, Calli. Real nice.”
She became a breathless mess under my touch, thrashing and bucking to get away, but I had her completely at my mercy. Her skin was soft and warm as I trailed my fingers along the curve of her waist. Calli settled, letting me explore the dips and planes of her body.
“What are you doing?” Her voice quivered.
“I have no fucking idea,” I admitted.
All I knew was I had to touch her. I wanted to.
“I’m a mess,” Calli whispered.
I pulled her hair off her shoulder and pressed a small kiss there. A shiver ran through her entire body, sending a rush of blood straight to my dick. Not that he needed any encouragement.
“What happened yesterday?”
“What do you mean? N- nothing happened, I was—”
“Ass over elbow drunk in some biker bar with mascara streaked all down your cheeks.”
“I need a minute.” She shot from the bed leaving me cold and slipped into the bathroom without even looking at me.
I rolled onto my back, pinching my temples, and let out a heavy sigh.
Five minutes later, when she still hadn’t returned, I climbed out of bed and walked to the door. “Calli?” I knocked.
“Just a minute.” Panic coated her words.
I pressed my forehead against the wood. Even from here, I could sense her torment. “Calli?”
She didn’t answer, but screw that. I grabbed the door handle and pushed.
“What are you—”
“What’s wrong?”
Floods of tears rolled down her cheeks as she braced the counter, staring at herself in the mirror. The sight of her standing there, her heart breaking, was like a punch to the gut.
“Sweet pea, talk to me.” I inched forward, sweeping my hands up her arms. Our eyes connected in the glass, and I saw the slight hitch in her breath.
“Why
does it always feel so good?” she whispered. “It shouldn’t...”
“I know, babe, I know.” The magnetic force between us had me dipping my head to taste the skin right underneath her ear. Calli gasped, a full body shiver rolling through her.
“I’m a mess.”
She’d said the same thing in bed. But she didn’t look like a mess to me, she looked perfect. Real and vulnerable, her face chock full of emotion. They said the eyes were a window to the soul, well I could see the grief and heartache Calli harbored there.
“I am so fucking sorry about your mom,” I said once more.
“My dad called, inviting me to the exhibition game. Even now, even after everything... he doesn’t get it...” I felt the shuddering breath she took all the way down to the pit of my stomach. “I know they’re my family... I know I promised her I would try, but I don’t think I can do it anymore. I don’t think I can keep letting them hurt me like this.” Big fat tears rolled down her cheeks and I couldn’t stand it for a second longer.
I spun Calli around and tugged her into my arms. Thank fuck she let me hold her because I needed to do this. It was either that, or march over to Callum’s place and finish what I started the other night.
“What are you doing, Zach?” She peeked up at me, the flash of vulnerability in her eyes stealing my breath.
“I don’t know,” I admitted, my heart thumping in my chest.
She was the only girl to ever get me—the only girl to ever own a piece of my heart.
And she’d broken it.
But somewhere along the line, hate had turned into something more. Something I couldn’t contain or control.
My fingers glided up the side of her throat and gently gripped her chin.
“Zach?” she croaked as I lowered my face to hers. “I don’t think this is a good—”
My mouth fixed over hers, swallowing her protests. I didn’t want to hear that this was wrong or a mistake or a bad idea... I just wanted to feel.
Because for as much as it unnerved me, that’s what it came down to.
Calli made me feel.
She made my heart beat a little harder and my blood pump a little faster. She ignited a fire inside me; one that swept into a raging inferno whenever she was around.
My hand slid into her hair, deepening the kiss. She was reluctant at first, barely kissing me back, but the second my tongue slipped past her lips, Calli melted against me.
“Zach,” she whimpered, her hands pressing against my chest. Her touch fanned the flames rising inside me. I backed her up against the counter, lifting her onto the edge and forcing my body between her legs. Her fingers traced the hard ridges of my stomach, sending shivers racing up and down my spine.
Hooking my hands around Calli’s ass, I dragged her closer, grinding my rock-hard dick against her core.
“Zach,” she pulled away, staring at me through lust drunk eyes, “I’m a mess. I should take a shower—”
“Does it matter when I’m only going to dirty you up again?” I nipped her neck, sucking the skin there.
“Oh God...” Her fingers clawed at my skin as I continued trailing my tongue up and down her throat.
Without warning, I picked Calli up and marched us into the walk-in shower. Flipping on the jets, her shrieks were drowned out by the stream of water as it beat down on us. But the second I pushed her up against the tiled wall and started kissing her, Calli’s anger melted away. She rocked her hips against me, making us both groan.
“I need inside you.” I kissed her deeply, plunging my tongue deep into her mouth. It was dirty and messy but so fucking right.
The thought hit me out of left field. I knew things were changing between us. I knew my hatred was softening into something else. But this moment felt significant. It felt like the first step to putting the past behind us and looking to the future.
Calli reached between our bodies and found the waistband of my shorts, pushing them down my hips enough for my dick to spring free. Her slim fingers circled the base and started pumping.
“Fuck, Calli,” I gritted out, loving how good it felt.
How good she felt.
Taking her weight with one arm, I trapped her body between me and the wall and managed to work a hand between us to find her pussy. “These need to come off.” I tore at the soaked material before pressing two fingers inside her.
“God, that feels...” Calli swallowed, her head falling back against the tiles. But I needed her eyes. I needed to look into her eyes as she came apart for me.
Touching my head to hers, I pinned her there. “Eyes,” I ordered as I hooked my fingers deeper. Calli smothered a moan, rocking against my hand, letting herself get lost in the sensations.
She let go of my dick, holding onto my shoulders as I took her to the brink. Her body began to tremble, and her eyes started to flutter again.
“Eyes, sweet pea,” I growled. “I want to see you when you fall apart.”
They flared with indignation, but I saw the flash of lust. Calli liked it when I took control.
She just didn’t want to like it.
“What do you need?” I held my fingers still, not giving her what she wanted.
“I....”
“Use your words, Calli.” My eyes narrowed, waiting. Hoping she’d fall off the edge of sanity with me.
“Zach, please...” she tried to wiggle against me, but I pressed the entire length of my body against her until she had nowhere to go.
“Please, what, sweet pea? Say it...” I need you to say it.
She pressed her lips together defiantly, but it only made me harder.
I speared my fingers inside her, making her cry out. “What. Do. You. Need?”
Calli inhaled a shaky breath and then she whispered the one word I was desperate to hear.
“You.”
Calli
A growl of approval rumbled in Zach’s chest as the word hung between us.
This was a bad idea, something I’d probably regret tomorrow. But I was tired of always doing the right thing.
So tired.
Zach stared at me as he slowly worked his fingers inside me, rubbing his thumb over my clit in a way that had my body shattering apart in no time.
“Beautiful,” he sighed, still watching me as he grabbed his dick and slid it through my wetness, teasing me.
A muffled moan built in my throat. He felt so good—too good.
Sinking into me with one smooth stroke, Zach fucked me hard against the tiles, the water still raining down around us. There was something symbolic about this moment, like we were being cleansed. The water absolving us of our sins and secrets, washing them into oblivion.
I clung to him, letting him ride my body, taking me to some faraway place where there was no pain or betrayal or heartache. Nothing existed there except for this, us... me and the boy I’d once loved with my whole heart.
“Fuck, Calli... you feel...”
Pleasure drenched my veins as we rocked together. Waking up in Zach’s arms, I’d panicked. I hadn’t wanted him to see me weak and upset. But the second he’d stepped into the bathroom, and our eyes connected in the mirror, I knew I wouldn’t be able to deny him.
Zachary Messiah knew me; he knew my heart. I didn’t want to risk giving it to anyone else. Not when people had a history of leaving me.
My eyes started to flutter closed, but Zach pinned me with a hard look. He needed to see me, to know this was real.
He leaned down, kissing me, sliding his tongue against mine in deep erotic licks. “I want to hate you, Calli, I want to hate you so much...”
“But you can’t.” I gave him a sad smile because I couldn’t hate him either.
Something flashed in Zach’s eyes, but he didn’t reply. Instead, he loved my body, silently tell me everything I needed to know.
Zach didn’t hate me.
He hated to love me.
And the feeling was entirely mutual.
“Better?” Zach asked me as I entered the roo
m, towel drying my hair. His eyes ran down my body, the oversized Steinbeck SU t-shirt barely covering my thighs. But surprisingly, I didn’t feel shy under his intense gaze, I felt all warm inside again.
I felt strong.
“Yeah, thanks.” My cheeks pinked as I realized my slip. “Crap, I didn’t mean—”
“I know what you meant, Calli.” He patted the bed and I climbed up beside him. “So your dad’s still an asshole, huh?”
“Yup. I’ve kinda accepted that’s how it’ll always be. He just doesn’t get me.” A small shrug lifted my shoulders.
I wasn’t male for starters, or an athlete. Aside from the DNA we shared we had nothing in common. Not a single thing.
Silence settled between us as I scooched down and lay beside Zach, shoulder to shoulder. Just the two of us like old times up in the tree house, basking in the aftermath of what just happened.
“Can I ask you something?” I said, breaking the thick silence.
“You want to know what happened junior year.”
“Yeah...” I steeled my spine. “I’ve thought about that moment a lot. Replayed Homecoming and the surrounding days over and over in my mind.” I swallowed the fresh wave of tears. I didn’t want to cry, not again. But it was just so damn frustrating.
Zach stiffened beside me, but I didn’t look over at him. If I did, the tears would fall, and I knew I needed to brace myself for whatever was about to come.
The truth of why he betrayed me so brutally.
“It all seems so insignificant now,” he said quietly.
Insignificant?
How could anything about what happened that year be insignificant?
I’d given him my heart, my body... my virginity, and then he’d cast me aside for the game that had ruined my entire childhood.
“My dad informed me at the beginning of junior year that he wanted me to play for the team.”
“What? I don’t understand.” My voice cracked as I tried to rein in my emotion.
“He said I’d had enough time to rebel and that it was time to become who I was born to be. Obviously, I told him to go fuck himself.”
“You never said anything?” Hurt lashed my insides. Back then, Zach and I didn’t keep secrets from one another, at least, I didn’t think we had.
