by MK Schiller
She turned to me, eyes bright blue and a glorious crown of hair that was seven shades of beautiful.
“He loves you.”
“I know.”
“Don’t fuck this up,” I whispered.
She laughed, hugging me. “I won’t.”
The traditional music queued. Stevie and Billie started down the aisle. I still couldn’t believe she’d asked me to give her away. I linked my arm in hers, starting to lead her down the long, lace runner, which would be her last walk as a single woman.
She pulled back, halting us before we took a step. “Mom, I have to tell you something.”
“Now?”
“Yes, I asked you to give me away not just because you’re my parent. It’s because you’re my everything. I know the sacrifices you made for me and the guilt you carry in your heart. I want you to stop. Everything about today is possible not just because of how much Rick and I love each other. It’s also because of how much you love me. I can walk on my own now, but I will always want you by my side.”
I hugged her, hoping Dillon had packed extra handkerchiefs. “You are my everything, little girl. This moment is yours and his. Nevertheless, it’s my honour to share it with you. I may be giving you away today, but you will always belong to me.”
She took in a deep breath, and we began the wedding march. I caught a glimpse of Rick, looking so handsome in his black suit, slim red tie and silver vest. I know my daughter did too because she gasped. They both did. It’s one thing to smile or sigh when you see the person you love, but they made each other gasp. That was truly special.
Then the music changed, and I tried to keep my smile from turning into a grimace. I’d almost forgotten about this. The dramatic and poetic lyrics of Pat Benatar’s We Belong filled the honeysuckled air. It wasn’t traditional, yet it was perfect. My children shared my love of music. It invoked feelings, allowed us expression where our own voices failed. This was no exception. This song was Marley’s way of letting him know how she felt. He arched his brow as his face broke out into a huge grin. It was clear, he understood.
Unfortunately, we had to dance our way down the aisle to Stevie’s choreography—no easy feat in stilettos and the fitted blue satin dress I wore. We had all groaned about this since none of us were dancers, but Marley had insisted. I had to admit we were doing pretty well, considering this was an accident-prone routine. Adam spun Stevie around, Dillon lifted Billie in the air, Rick’s best friend Tom did a pirouette with his wife and I held my daughter’s hands as she twirled her way to him. It was a production worthy of a stage…not Broadway but maybe a community theatre. His smile grew incrementally until we reached him, breathless and dizzy.
“Who gives this woman away?” the pastor inquired.
“I do,” I choked, placing Marley’s hand in Rick’s. “She’s all his.”
He mouthed a ‘thank you’ to me and I nodded. He steadied underneath the large arbour of lush white gardenias and roses. I wondered if the florist had got Stevie’s order mixed up because I remembered her saying gardenias only for the arbour. Judging from Stevie’s narrowed eyes, she was thinking the same thing.
I didn’t think much more about it, because the look of immediate joy in Rick’s eyes was captivating. Clearly, my daughter had found not just a good man, but the only man for her.
“You’ve always been mine,” he whispered just loud enough for me to hear as they stared at each other like they were the only two people in the world. In that moment, they were.
“Always,” she replied softly.
I took my seat in the front row. No amount of handkerchiefs could stop the flood of tears as they burst forth. It was amazing how tears of happiness felt fresh and cleansing, unlike the bitter, salty tears of sorrow.
“Richard and Marley have prepared their own vows,” the pastor said.
It only made sense they’d want to use their own words to express their love. The way they felt about each other was as rare as getting struck by lightning. Of course, Stevie and Adam had a similar relationship—I guess lightning favoured our family.
“Rick,” she began, swallowing hard, as if trying to keep herself from bawling. “As we enter our union, I know this is not an equal partnership.”
He tilted his head, looking surprised.
“You are not my equal. You are my better. There is no other man that could make me feel the way you do. You took down every brick of the carefully constructed, impenetrable fortress I built. Sometimes I can’t believe what I put you through. Then again, you are the most stubborn man I’ve ever met.”
He smiled. “Right back at ya, baby.”
“I am thankful for you every day. You did the impossible. You gave me the strength to fight the nightmares that haunted me. And for the first time in my life, I have dreams. You are and will always be my hero. I love you so much.” She started weeping then, unable to control it.
Billie came forward with a handkerchief, but Rick pulled Marley into his arms, kissing her tears away.
“Excuse me,” the pastor said.
Rick didn’t release her.
“Rick,” Adam said, slapping him on the back.
“What?” he said with slight aggravation.
“You have to say your vows before you can kiss her.”
“Oh.” He reluctantly took a step away from her, as if being too close was dangerous.
We all laughed then.
He turned to the pastor. “Sorry, you have no idea how difficult it was to get her to say those three words. I sort of lose control when she does.”
She grinned and mouthed them again to him. He leaned in to kiss her once more, but she put a firm hand on his chest, holding him back this time, smiling through her tears.
He cleared his throat and took a deep breath before he started his vows. “Marley, I never believed in love at first sight. I thought the idea was ridiculous. Then I saw you at the airport, holding…” He turned to Adam.
Adam just stared back, scratching his head until Rick sighed.
“Oh, sorry,” Adam said, taking something from the table next to him.
“Until I saw you holding this, baby.” Rick held up a frame containing a coffee-stained piece of paper they had both told us about during a dish session. It was the makeshift sign she’d held up at the airport when they’d first met. Rick was sentimental so it made sense he’d kept it. I wasn’t prepared to see paper with the words ‘R U RANDY’, written in Marley’s large scrawl, penned with pink lipstick.
Marley cupped her hands to her face as everyone else either gasped in confusion or sighed in awe—I was among the awe crowd.
Rick handed the sign back to Adam then took her hands in his. “You didn’t know I had it. I took it that day. You see, that’s how sure I was of us, even when you weren’t. Marley, I am not your better. I am not your hero. I am just yours…in every way. You’ve always owned my heart.”
It surprised me how quickly he was able to adapt his vows, since neither of them had told the other what they were going to say. Then again, Rick had always been eloquent. “So, Miss Marley Reba Mason, soon to be Randy”—he arched his brow—“wow, that takes on a different meaning now that I say it aloud.”
Marley’s carefree laugh was the loudest, followed by all the guests.
He took her wrist and kissed the underside. “You’re a hard woman to know, but I thank God every day you let me know you, and I vow to break down any walls between us. Today as we say the words that will merge us as one, I want you to know I am committed to you in every way, my love. I promise to make you laugh when you’re sad, help you heal when you’re in pain and battle any fear beside you. I promise to give you all that I am and everything I will ever be.”
Damn…there wasn’t a dry eye in the house. His passion was infectious and the love he had for Marley palpable.
The second kiss was quick, and he didn’t even let her walk down the aisle. He carried her, moving with quick steps like he was in a footrace while she giggled in his a
rms. I knew why—a mother always knows.
Forty-five minutes later, everyone was starting to question where the hell they were.
“They said they were going to have some German chocolate cake in the room,” Dillon said.
“What? We have a huge wedding cake down here,” Stevie quipped, hands on her hip. “We’re running behind schedule.”
“They’re not talking about dessert, babe,” Adam said, kissing the top of his son’s head as he lay asleep in the baby sling against his chest.
“Oh.” Stevie flushed slightly.
“Someone needs to be changed,” Adam said, giving Stevie that hopeful look.
“Let’s go together.” She took his hand.
“Can we get some German chocolate cake too?” He followed behind her. “You know, when the babysitter gets here?”
I chuckled, watching them walk off.
I was a biased woman, but hell if I hadn’t made some damn good-looking children, who had married some handsome young men. My grandchildren were all going to be breathtaking like little Bobby—he already had a smile that could dazzle any woman in the room.
Marley and Rick emerged at the entrance then. I muffled my laugh at their appearance. Her gown was crinkled, his tie was crooked and both of them looked as if they had travelled through a windstorm.
“Shit, I knew she’d mess up her hair,” Dillon said, running over to her. He dragged her to the bathroom before anyone could see her.
Rick walked over to me, running his hands through his hair to comb it out, not hiding the wide smirk on his face.
“Congratulations, Rick. I would say welcome to the family, but as far as I’m concerned, you belonged to us the first time Marley brought you home.”
“Thank you, Emmie. It’s an honour to be a part of this close-knit clan.”
“You have earned your place, young man. I know it hasn’t been an easy road.”
“We still have some walls. We’ll work through them together.” He didn’t have to explain—he was talking about Marley’s hesitation to have children. It was because she couldn’t take her medication while pregnant. Her night terrors continued, but they were manageable. She worried what would happen if she didn’t have the control of those routines. She worried for him. She worried for their future children. She agreed she wanted them, but not right away. He agreed to wait for her.
“Rick, you know everything she does comes from a place of selflessness, even if it doesn’t seem like it.”
“I am aware of that, and that’s why I love her so much. She’s one of a kind.”
I took his hand. “I know it was difficult losing your parents at such a young age, even though they are here in spirit. Let me say what they cannot. They would be so proud of the successful and kind man they raised. You’re one of a kind as well. My daughter’s very lucky.”
He bowed slightly. “Thank you. That means a great deal to me.”
I wanted to say more, but Adam approached us before I could.
“C’mon, Magic Man, let’s do a shot,” Adam said, handing Bobby to me. I kissed Bobby’s fragile head and inhaled the scent of him. There was nothing as fresh as a baby…well, most of the time anyway.
“Hiya, handsome, can you say ‘grandma’?”
Four-month-old Bobby replied with a squeal, blinking his huge blue eyes that were all Stevie, and that crooked smile that belonged to his father. It melted my heart.
“Clara’s here, Mom,” Stevie said, pointing to the babysitter.
Marley wanted photos with Bobby, but Stevie and Adam wanted to have a fun night. They’d settled somewhere in between, bringing the baby for the first part of the wedding. I wasn’t quite ready to let go.
It was for the best though, because the rest of the night passed in a blur. It was definitely no place for a baby. There were mixed cocktails with my daughters and shots with my sons. Feasting, laughing, clinking our silverware against expensive goblets, encouraging the happy couple to kiss—not that they needed much prodding. The dancing was my favourite though. There is nothing that binds a family quite like doing the chicken dance as a cohesive unit. Rick smashed cake into Marley’s mouth. Marley stood on his feet while they moved slowly to every song, even the fast ones. Before I knew it, Marley stood on the stage with that beautiful rose-less bouquet in her hands, ready to toss it to the sea of eligible women, vying for it as if she was actually throwing a single man over her shoulder. She turned and stared at the crowd one more time.
“Where’s my mother?” she yelled.
I shrank down in my seat, wondering what the hell she was doing. I had no intention of catching the bouquet. That ship had sailed and I never wanted to set anchor again. Despite my protests, Rick and Adam pulled me to the stage and placed me front and centre.
Single Ladies by Beyoncé started playing. My face was flushed with drink, dance and embarrassment…my hips didn’t care and sashayed to the music. What the hell? It was Beyoncé and who could refrain from dancing to Sasha Fierce? Marley pointed to me with that damn bouquet in some sort of Babe Ruth gesture, alerting everyone to her target. In fact, Dillon made sure all the other women held back so I’d catch the damn thing.
She stared at me intently before turning around. I was pretty sure she was calculating the distance, velocity and aim. She tossed it with perfect precision, just like she did when she pitched a softball. It flew through the air in slow motion, symbolising all the things I’d put behind me. Promises for a future of fidelity and faith…something I’d never put stock in, not for myself. So what’s a girl to do when all those frightening concepts were coming for her in the form of artfully arranged flowers, beads and lace? What I did.
I froze.
The damn thing smacked me in the face before skidding against the marble floor, making a journey towards the outstretched hands of the hopeful girls who deserved it. Dillon had other plans though. He dived for it like he was rounding home plate. He side-stepped two of Marley’s friends, dropping to his knees and sliding across the floor to grasp the fallen object. He grinned, standing apart from the desperate cloud of women, holding up the blossoms like a trophy. I clapped for him and everyone followed suit. He did a debonair bow in response. I gave Marley an admonishing glance, which she mirrored right back at me.
I headed back to the bar. I needed another drink.
“You Mason girls need to learn how to catch these damn things,” Dillon said, breathing heavily and setting the bouquet in front of me.
“You caught it and quite heroically. It’s yours.”
He leaned in close, and I couldn’t resist tousling his gorgeous brown curls. They all sprang right back in place. Dillon was such a perfectionist that even his hair wouldn’t dare misbehave. “It’s not meant for me. It was supposed to be yours. I’m too busy to make sachets this time, so just take it.” I laughed, remembering how he had made them for Marley out of Stevie’s bouquet.
“It won’t do any good. I don’t believe in such things anyway.”
“It’s not a prerequisite to believe in magic for it to work,” he said, bumping my shoulder. “Can I have a dozen creamers, please?” he requested of the bartender. The man looked at him curiously before leaving to fetch them. Oh crap.
His OCD was acting up, as he liked to say. The only thing that would help was arranging something. Anything. And now that Marley’s hair was in tip top shape, he needed to keep his hands busy.
I rubbed his arm. “I’ll count, you build. Okay?” Usually my counting helped him get through it a bit faster. The frustration set in when he lost count.
“I’m such a freak. I can’t even enjoy my best friend’s wedding.”
I took his face in my hands and turned him towards me. “There is nothing wrong with you. Your mind works differently than others, and that doesn’t make you strange…it makes you special. I’m so glad you came into Marley’s life because you’ve been such a good friend to her. More than a friend…a brother. As far as I’m concerned, you’re family and you always will be.
So I say, let’s make some towers.”
He started lining them up. “Thank you for counting, Emmie.”
“Thank you for catching my bouquet, son. The next one belongs to you though.”
“I love you, Mom.”
I felt the solid lump in my throat get bigger. He’d never called me mom. The title touched me. If I could, I would solve all his problems, like I’d tried with Marley. A mother may never accept it, but she can understand that her children have to figure it out for themselves. “I love you too,” I said, kissing his head.
Chapter Two
I walked out of the hotel with aching feet and that perfect level of drunkenness—stumbling and happy, but not stupid and queasy. Thank God Rick had had the foresight to have several limos waiting for us so we could drink freely. And boy had I. Rick and Marley were staying at the hotel then leaving for the airport in the morning for Jamaica. I wasn’t looking forward to the empty house. They’d got their own place and moved out a few weeks ago. The charming bungalow they’d chosen in Edison Park would be perfect for my future grandchildren. Stevie and Adam had their own place in Chicago Heights not too far from me. Billie would be going back to school tomorrow. For the first time in my life, I was an empty nester. I sat in the limo, pushing those thoughts away and focusing on the memories of my daughter walking down the aisle. Dillon slid next to me. I leaned my head against his shoulder.
“Wasn’t it an amazing night?”
“Not yet, but I think it could be,” a deep, gravelly voice answered, causing my throat to go dry despite the copious amounts of liquor I’d consumed.
Shit. This was a huge hotel with multiple functions. Why hadn’t I checked before hopping into the car like I owned it?
“I’m in the wrong limo,” I said, scooting towards the door.
He clasped my arm. “Or maybe you’re in the right one.”
My flesh broke out into goosebumps from the contact of his skin against mine. What was going on? This was the reaction of a shy school girl, not a confident woman like myself. “I’m sorry. I have to go.”
