I stared at the bundle of notes in my hand. ‘Are you sure?’
‘I’m sure. I think I can trust you not to spend it on twenty bears. Actually, knowing your tastes, it would probably only be two or three bears for that amount.’
‘You know me well. I promise not to spend it on bears. Besides, Diamond has just joined the hug so he’ll satisfy my bear-acquisition needs for a little while. Thank you, Scott. It’s a lovely idea.’
We returned to the group where a glass of prosecco was thrust into one hand and my handbag into the other. I secured our winnings in a zipped compartment then snuggled against Scott’s side as he shared the news of our victory.
Everyone was in such a fabulous mood. Even Scott and Drew seemed to have cast their animosity aside to laugh and joke together. What an amazing afternoon.
Then Scott’s phone rang.
‘Hi, how’s it going?’ He mouthed ‘sorry’ to me and wandered away from the group. My heart sank.
Drew put his arm around me and squeezed me to his side. ‘He managed a few hours which is more than you expected, isn’t it?’
‘I know. I just wish he could have stayed all day.’
‘So do I,’ he said. ‘And not just for you. I’ve actually had a good laugh with him today. It’s the longest I’ve spent in this company and I’ve seen a different side to him.’
‘You’re not just saying that to cheer me up?’
He squeezed me again. ‘I promise I’m not just saying it. I know we haven’t exactly been the best of friends, but I might have misjudged him. I thought he seemed like the sort who’d shag and go, but he’s proved me wrong. He might be good enough for you, after all.’
Scott returned moments later. His expression said it all. ‘They’re taking Adam’s wife to hospital,’ he said. ‘They need to induce. I’m sorry. I have to go.’
I smiled brightly. I didn’t feel bright, but it wasn’t Scott’s fault. ‘I understand. Can I walk you to the exit?’
He nodded, said goodbye to the rest of the group, hugged my Mum and thanked her for being a great host, then took my hand as we walked through the crowds towards the exit.
He stopped just before we reached the door and pulled me close to him. ‘If I could stay, I would.’
‘I know.’
‘This week’s going to be crazy and I’m working at the weekend, but I’ll be in London at the middle of the following week. We’ll go out together – just the two of us – and talk weddings. If you don’t want to break off the engagement already, that is.’
I pulled away so he could see in my eyes that I wasn’t angry with him. ‘Of course I don’t! I know this isn’t your fault. A night out alone would be amazing. We could go for a meal.’
‘How about the same restaurant we went to when we met? La Vecchia Scuola, was it?’
I smiled. ‘Well remembered. Sounds perfect. Like you.’
Scott bit his lip. ‘I’m far from perfect, Jemma.’
‘That’s true. You fart in your sleep and you love Marmite. What’s that all about?’
He laughed. ‘And you like gravy on your chips. What’s that all about?’
He drew me into a passionate kiss. I wanted to stay that way forever, locked in our own little world. With great reluctance, I pulled away. ‘I know you won’t be able to phone me when you get there, but text if you can.’
‘I’ll try, but I think it will be a quick handover then straight into it. Adam has appointments all evening so it’ll probably be tomorrow before I can get in touch. Don’t panic if you don’t hear from me.’
‘That’s fine. Don’t forget.’
‘Do I ever forget?’
I shook my head. Scott was incredibly reliable when it came to texting and phoning. He contacted me when he said he would and he let me know if he might be delayed. He understood that I worried about him being on the road all the time.
‘Jemma?’
‘Yes?’
‘When I see you next, there’s something I need to tell you.’
I was about to make a joke, but he looked very serious. My stomach somersaulted. ‘That sounds ominous. Can’t you tell me now?’
‘It’s not really the time or the place.’
‘That sounds even more ominous. Oh my God! You’re not ill are you? Cancer or something?’
Scott quickly shook his head. ‘God, no! It’s nothing like that.’
‘Then can’t you tell me? I’m only going to worry about it for the next ten days if you don’t.’
He took my hands in his. ‘I’d rather wait so we can talk about it properly.’
‘Scott! Please don’t do this. Can’t you give me a clue?’
He sighed. ‘It’s about the wedding.’
‘Go on.’
‘I… it’s… I…’
‘You’re scaring me!’
Scott looked deep into my eyes then smiled. ‘I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything. I’ve gone and made it into a big thing when it really isn’t. It could have waited until I saw you and we were talking weddings. It’s just that, with my dad not being well enough to travel, you having lost your dad, and neither of us having big families, I wondered how you felt about eloping.’
‘Eloping?’
‘Going somewhere abroad to get married. Just the two of us.’
‘I know what eloping means. I just… My mum. And Sean. And I wanted Karen as a bridesmaid. And–’
Scott nodded. ‘Of course you do! I’m being selfish. It’s your day. We can do whatever you want.’
‘It’s our day, Scott, not mine. I’m happy to compromise on anything, but I don’t think I can consider eloping. It would break Mum and Sean’s heart. And mine. I’m happy to have a small wedding, but I want them there. And Karen and her family. They’re like my extended family. It wouldn’t feel right without them.’
Scott smiled again. ‘I shouldn’t have said anything. It was a stupid idea.’
‘It wasn’t stupid,’ I assured him. ‘I completely get where you’re coming from. I know it’s hard for you with your parents being abroad and your dad being poorly. Maybe we could go to Canada for our honeymoon? Visit your parents?’
‘There you go again. Thinking of others all the time. What did I ever do to deserve someone as thoughtful as you?’
I grinned. ‘Thank God that’s all you wanted to say. You had me panicking there.’
‘Sorry. I didn’t mean to worry you.’
‘You’d better go.’ I kissed him gently then he held me tightly.
‘I love you only,’ he whispered. ‘Never forget that.’
‘I love you always.’
Chapter 7
Jemma
‘I had a lovely time today,’ Mum said that evening back at Bear’s Pad. We’d had a meal in York after the races and the intention had been to have a few drinks in Whitsborough Bay but, as the limo had journeyed back along the A64, it was obvious to me that everyone was flagging. The pile of discarded stilettos, including my own, suggested that a pub crawl really wasn’t on the cards. I had to laugh at the grateful nods when I mooted the idea of getting dropped back at homes or hotels and calling it a night.
I lowered my shoulders further down into the hot tub bubbles and wriggled my aching feet. ‘I had a lovely time too and this is the perfect ending to it. I just wish Scott was here.’
Mum nodded. ‘He texted, though?’
‘Yes. Just a short one to say he got there safely. I probably won’t hear from him for a couple of days now.’ I looked at the pretty coloured lights strung across the fence and around various potted shrubs. It was so tranquil. I closed my eyes and breathed in deeply. When I opened them, I looked over to Mum. She was gazing into the darkness, a faraway expression on her eyes. ‘So tell me about this doctor’s appointment on Friday. What’s going on, Mum?’
She
sighed. ‘You don’t want to leave it until tomorrow?’
‘I’d rather know now.’
‘I figured you might. Where do I start?’ She sighed again. ‘You know how I joked this morning about my body falling apart and sometimes climbing the stairs feels like conquering Everest? Well, it wasn’t a joke. Some days it really does feel like that. It started in March. Sean had gone to bed and I was in my workshop making a bear. I needed some thread for his nose so I stood up, walked towards the thread drawers and stopped. It was the weirdest thing.’
‘What do you mean, you stopped?’ I thought about her forgetfulness with the knickers, my birthday card, Sean’s football boots in the oven, and goodness knows what else. Was that what she meant? ‘You’d forgotten what you wanted?’
She shook her head. ‘I knew exactly what I wanted and where to find it. I mean I stopped. Physically. I was walking. Then I wasn’t walking. It was like someone had super glued my feet to the floor. I can remember looking down at my feet and willing them to move, but they wouldn’t.’
‘Oh my God! What did you do?’
She shrugged. ‘Some time passed. Could have been seconds. Could have been minutes. My legs and feet started working again and that was that. I didn’t bother getting the thread out. I figured it was my body’s way of telling me it was time for bed.’
I frowned. ‘You really just stopped moving? No warning or anything?’
‘Completely still. It freaked me out at the time but I didn’t think much about it until I was at Sainsbury’s a week or so later. I was pushing the trolley back to the car when I stopped. Right in the middle of the zebra crossing. Cars started beeping at me and there was absolutely nothing I could do. My arms were fine but my legs wouldn’t move. Everyone must have thought I’d gone a bit loopy, playing with the traffic like that, but I couldn’t control my legs no matter how much I willed them to move. Then they came unstuck and I shuffled off the crossing as quickly as I could, threw my bags in the car, and made my escape. It keeps happening. Not every day by any means but frequently enough to know something was wrong. It isn’t always the sudden stopping, though. Sometimes I can move, but not at a normal pace. I find that I can’t pick up my feet to walk properly so I shuffle along like an old lady instead. Rachel insisted that I made a doctor’s appointment and my doctor referred me to a consultant and, well, it turns out…’
‘What is it?’ I asked when she fell silent and lowered her eyes. My heart raced. I wasn’t sure I wanted to hear the answer. ‘What’s wrong, Mum?’
‘Parkinson’s,’ she said. ‘I’ve got Parkinson’s.’
‘But…’ I paused for a moment, trying to digest what she’d just said. ‘But you can’t have. People with Parkinson’s shake. I’ve been around you all weekend and I haven’t seen you shaking once.’
She smiled weakly. ‘I said exactly the same to my GP and to the specialist who diagnosed me. Apparently shaking’s one of the most common symptoms and it’s the one that most people associate Parkinson’s with, but it’s not the only symptom and some people don’t shake at all. The other main symptoms are slow movement and rigidity… or stiffness if you like. I’ve got that. It’s what makes me stop suddenly. I don’t shake, though.’
‘But I haven’t seen you stop suddenly either.’
Mum’s eyes were full of sympathy as she watched me recall something that had seemed so insignificant earlier that day.
‘At the races today,’ I cried. ‘We were on our way to the bar. You were in front and you suddenly stopped. We all crashed into you. You said you thought you’d spotted someone you knew. You were craning your neck to try and see them.’
She nodded. ‘Sorry, Jemma. My feet wouldn’t move.’
‘Rachel manoeuvred us around you, joking that the last to the bar had to pay.’
Mum nodded. ‘I’d asked her to watch out for any incidents. She knew I was going to tell you this weekend, but that I didn’t want anything to ruin your special day out.’
I put my hand over my mouth, tears rushing to my eyes. ‘Oh my God! Mum! Parkinson’s? Are they sure?’
She nodded. ‘One hundred per cent. Hey, don’t cry. I’m not about to die, you know. As my consultant, Dr Steadman, keeps telling me: it’s a treatable condition that I need to learn to live with, not a life-threatening illness. Patronising git.’
I couldn’t help it. Great big tears rolled down my cheeks and plopped into the water. Mum held out her arms and I bobbed across the hot tub for a cuddle while my body racked with sobs.
‘Sorry,’ I whispered when the tears finally subsided and Mum was able to let go of me. ‘I don’t know where that came from.’
‘It’s okay. I understand. I cried when they told me too.’
‘I wish you’d told me about your appointment. I’d have booked time off and been here for you. You shouldn’t have had to go through that on your own.’
She smiled. ‘Thank you, but I wouldn’t have expected you to do that. I went to the GP alone because I wondered if it was maybe something to do with arthritis, like my mum had, but Rachel came to see the consultant with me. She’s been amazing, as always. I’m so glad you and Karen became friends because I don’t know what I’d have done without her over the years.’
‘What happens next?’
‘I’m on medication and I should really do some exercise, but it’s finding the time.’
‘Does exercise help?’
‘It’s meant to.’
‘Then you definitely need to do it.’
‘But Sean–’
‘–will understand if you explain why you’re doing it. I take it he doesn’t know?’
She shook her head. ‘I wanted to tell you first. And I don’t want to worry him.’
‘What about bad days? Surely he’s noticed those?’
‘I’ve joked about me getting older and slowing down and I think he’s accepted that. He’s too young to realise that 46 isn’t exactly what you’d call old and that my bad days aren’t typical for a woman of my age.’
‘How often are the bad days?’
‘More often than they used to be. I was fine on Friday and I’ve had a fairly good day today so I wouldn’t be surprised if I have a bad one tomorrow.’
‘Then tomorrow you rest and let me look after you.’
‘You’re meant to be doing touristy things with your flatmates.’
‘They’ll understand.’
‘No, Jemma. I appreciate the offer, but your friends have travelled all the way up here to spend the weekend with you. I won’t have you letting them down.’
‘But–’
She raised a hand to silence me. ‘It’s not negotiable. Besides, if I’m having a really bad day, I’ll want to rest and work on my latest Ju-Sea Bear so there’s absolutely no point in you sticking around. You could do something for me, though. It was good of Billy Thomas’s mum to have Sean today but I think two days in a row would be taking the mickey. If you could take your brother with you, that would be a tremendous help. If your friends don’t mind, that is.’
‘Of course they won’t.’
‘Maybe you could take them all to the lido.’
I frowned. ‘The what?’
‘The lido. On South Beach.’
‘You mean Splash Down near North Beach. The indoor slide pool?’
‘Er, no. I mean the outdoor pool on South Beach.’
‘There isn’t an outdoor pool in Whitsborough Bay. Not anymore.’
‘There is! Stop winding me up! It’s on South Beach and it fills with seawater. We go down there every summer although I swear it’s colder in there than the sea itself.’ Mum shivered. ‘Speaking of cold, I think it’s time to get inside and go to bed. Are you coming in?’
‘In a minute.’
‘Okay. Sleep well.’
‘And you. I’ll see you in the morning.’
<
br /> I watched Mum clamber out of the hot tub and wrap a towel around her shoulders. I hadn’t registered it earlier but, now that I knew, I could see that her movements were definitely slower and stiffer than usual. But what was concerning me even more than that was the conversation we’d just had. Whitsborough Bay did have a seawater lido. But it had been closed down and filled in when I was seven.
Chapter 8
Sam
‘Jesus, Sam! I can’t even get to a crouching position when a wave hits.’ Jack heaved himself back onto his board for the umpteenth time and spat out a mouthful of water. ‘How are you so good at this?’
‘Great teacher,’ I said.
He watched me look at my watch again. ‘Is it time?’
I nodded, my throat tightening. ‘We’d officially be husband and wife by now.’
‘Aw, mate…’
‘I know.’ I looked behind me. ‘I’m gonna catch this one.’ I started to paddle before Jack could say anything else, jumping to my feet as the wave took the board. ‘Goodbye Nikki,’ I whispered. ‘I love you.’
‘What happens now?’ Jack asked.
‘We drink our beers and hope the temperature doesn’t drop too much because I’m not cuddling up to you for warmth. You stink of garlic.’ We’d had tea in a pub in town, then I’d driven the campervan to a remote stretch of coast. We’d carried a crate of beer over the sand dunes and lit a fire, just like Nikki and I used to do.
‘And a less flippant answer would be…?’
I shrugged. ‘Throw myself into the job and hope that, one day, I’ll wake up and the pain will have eased, even just slightly.’
‘Do you think it was the right decision to move down here?’
I took a glug of beer. I wasn’t going to admit that, in a city with a population of 8.6million, I’d never felt so lonely. ‘Early days. It was a good career move.’
Bear With Me Page 6
