by Jason Starr
“When did this happen?” Simon asked.
“Last week,” Ramon said. “But what can you do? When your time’s up, your time’s up.”
Simon had only been there about five minutes and he already felt like he was getting sucked back into a nightmare.
“Tell me the truth,” Simon said. “Did you do it?”
Charlie removed his arm from around Simon and said, “Whoa, that’s not cool, bro.”
“I just want to know the truth,” Simon said. “I don’t want to be in the dark anymore about anything. If I’m going to hang out with you guys, I need to know the truth about what’s going on.”
Simon realized that he wasn’t making much sense, but this was the best he could come up with.
Ramon moved his arm off Simon as well and said, “Of course I didn’t kill her. She was a wonderful woman. It sucks that she had to die.”
Noticing that Ramon didn’t exactly seem torn up that his ex-girlfriend was dead, Simon said, “What do you mean, ‘had to die’?”
“He didn’t mean anything by it,” Charlie said.
“I just meant it was a tragedy,” Ramon said. “But I guess that’s just the way God is sometimes. He’s got a plan and he sticks to it even if it means good people get hurt.”
Simon couldn’t read Ramon. He had no idea whether he was lying.
“Okay, if you didn’t do it,” Simon said, “what about Michael?”
“Nah,” Ramon said. “Michael was with us the time Geri said Diane was killed.”
“So you’re Michael’s alibi,” Simon said.
“Yeah,” Ramon said. “I guess we are.”
Simon was still trying to accept the idea that Diane was dead, actually dead. She had to have been in her midthirties, so much life ahead of her.
“Look, I honestly don’t believe that you guys are killers,” Simon said. “But I think you have a craving now, a craving that you may not be able to control. And I know that Michael must be fueling that craving for you. He wants to make you behave the way he behaves, and I don’t think you can help yourselves because he’s the leader of your pack, so of course you have to respect him, and do what he wants you to do.”
“You have anger.”
The deep, familiar voice had come from Simon’s left. Then he looked over and saw Michael standing there with his son, Jonas. Michael’s graying hair was combed straight back with no part, and his face was smooth and affectless. Though his big, extremely dark eyes were a little freaky looking, he looked damn good for ninety-one years old. Simon hadn’t detected Michael’s scent, so he was surprised to see him appear next to him. Weirdly, Simon couldn’t even smell Michael right now, with them only a couple of feet apart.
“Hey,” Simon said as he stood to face Michael. Though Michael had startled him, he didn’t feel at all intimidated. He said to Jonas, “And how’re you doing?”
“Fine,” Jonas said.
Jonas looked like a mini version of Michael. They even had the same eyes.
“You’re angry at me,” Michael repeated to Simon.
Deciding not to let Michael’s weirdness intimidate him, Simon said, “I guess you heard what I was saying, huh?”
Michael, staring, didn’t answer.
Simon said, “No, I’m not angry at all, actually.” He knew he had to get Michael to trust him; that was the whole reason why he’d come here today. “Honestly, I’m just concerned more than anything. I know we’re all in this together now, and I don’t want things to get out of control, that’s all. I guess I’m hoping you can give me some kind of second chance.”
Michael’s black eyes fixated on Simon.
Michael said, “You fought me. You wanted to kill me. You had rage.”
Simon knew Michael was referring to the last time they’d seen each other, when they’d fought as werewolves on the rooftop of the brewery.
“I’m sorry about that,” Simon said. “I guess I was afraid. I didn’t get what was going on or what I was getting into. I admit I had issues with you and some of the things you’ve done, but now that I’ve lived with this awhile and I see what it’s all about, I realize I need you. I want to learn from you.”
Simon was trying to act as sincere as possible, but he didn’t think he was convincing enough. Michael was going to tell him to leave and that would be it—Simon would be on his own as a werewolf. And Volker was probably right—Simon didn’t think he’d last long on his own. He’d hurt someone and the secret would be exposed or Michael would kill him. Those would be the only possible outcomes.
“Never apologize for rage,” Michael said. “Rage is natural. Rage is who you are.”
Simon didn’t get exactly what Michael meant by this. “Okay, you’re right,” he said, because he didn’t know what else to say. “I won’t apologize for it again.”
“You have rage,” Michael said.
“Yeah, you’re right,” Simon said. “I have rage.”
Michael and Simon stood face-to-face. Had Simon said the wrong thing? As usual, Michael was impossible to read, but Simon wasn’t going to back down, figuring at this point he had nothing to lose. He was locked in on Michael and wasn’t looking at Charlie and Ramon or anyone else in the playground, but he sensed that everyone was watching, even the kids. There was the tension of a schoolyard standoff, people waiting to see what would happen next.
Finally Michael said, “Welcome to your pack,” and extended his arms as if to give Simon a big hug.
Was it a trick? Would he give Simon a bear hug and crush him to death in a crowded playground? It seemed unlikely, but then again Michael was apparently a psychopathic, Nazi, serial-killing werewolf, so why was anything beyond him?
But figuring that he had no choice, Simon moved forward and let Michael hug him.
Simon hated that he liked it.
The four guys were sitting on the bench, just like old times. Simon was next to Michael, and to Michael’s left were Charlie, then Ramon. Charlie and Ramon were doing most of the talking—mainly about their kids. Nicky’s fourth birthday was coming up next month and Charlie was planning to have a party at his apartment in Turtle Bay, and then they had a discussion about preschools. Though the kids wouldn’t be going until next fall, in Manhattan preschools were hard to get into and you had to start visiting and applying early. Charlie commented about how awesome it would be if the kids could go to school together next fall.
Simon had been dreading having to see Michael again and had been expecting to be uncomfortable next to him, but he didn’t feel that way at all. Despite knowing about some of the horrific things Michael had done and put him through, Simon felt close to Michael. Not close in the sense that he felt love, or even respect, but there was definitely an underlying attachment, a connection, the way he might feel connected to a second or third cousin. Was this the bond between werewolves that Volker had gone on about? Simon hoped so, because if the bond was true, then maybe everything Volker had told him was true, including that a remedy beer existed and that there could be a supply of it in the brewery in Brooklyn.
After a lull in the preschool conversation, Simon said, “So Ramon was telling us about a woman he met. I think it’s someone you’re familiar with, Michael.”
Simon thought this topic would make Ramon uncomfortable, but Ramon said eagerly, “Yeah, she’s that homicide detective, Detective Rodriguez.”
“I sent her to you,” Michael said.
“Yeah, she told me you did. I gotta thank you for that, bro. That woman is stunning; I can’t stop thinking about her. I think I found my soul mate.”
“You told her I was in New York when the woman in Michigan was killed,” Michael said as a statement.
“Yep, told her the truth, man,” Ramon said.
“She didn’t talk to me,” Charlie said to Michael, “but I would’ve backed it up too, boss.”
“So it’s true?” Simon asked Michael. “You really were in New York? You really had nothing to do with it?”
“I would never lie
about a killing to a member of my pack,” Michael said.
Simon realized that Michael hadn’t exactly answered the question—what else was new?—but he also realized it was probably as close to a denial as he was going to get.
“Look,” Simon said, “I was just telling the guys before, if I’m going to hang out with you guys again, I just want to be more in the loop. I understand that we’re different now, and we behave differently, but I don’t want to be one step behind, in the dark, you know?”
Simon waited, maybe thirty seconds, for Michael to respond, but he was just staring straight ahead, watching Jonas, Diego, and Nicky play on the monkey bars. Simon knew there was no reason to repeat himself—this was just Michael being Michael.
Then Simon continued, “I mean, I guess what I’m trying to say is, doesn’t anyone here agree with me that Ramon dating a cop is a bad idea. I mean of all people, why a cop?”
“She’s my soul mate,” Ramon said.
“Come on,” Simon said, “there’re eight million people in New York. You can find another soul mate.”
“Actually I don’t think you can,” Charlie said. “Isn’t that why they call it a soul mate? Because there’s only one of them?”
“Seriously, I think it’s dangerous,” Simon said. “Like Charlie running in the marathon. I think it potentially exposes us, and they’re risks not worth taking.”
“I’m having sex with a woman tonight,” Michael said.
“Yeah, who?” Ramon was excited.
Simon was aware that the subject had been changed, but what could he do?
“You know the big boss doesn’t like to kiss and tell,” Charlie said.
“I’ll be having sex with her all night,” Michael said. On that he stood and said, “We’ll meet here again tomorrow at ten,” then, pushing the stroller ahead of him, walked away toward where Jonas was playing.
Simon went up to him and said, “Hey, wait a sec.”
Michael stopped. Simon was facing him.
“Now that I’m back with your pack, can you teach me some things?” Simon looked around to make sure no one was eavesdropping, then continued, “I mean, can you teach me how to control my transformations so I don’t wolf out, like Ramon says, in public? I think it’s in all of our interests if I learn how to do that. I’m sure there’re other things you can teach me, and I’m ready to learn everything.”
“You will learn when you’re ready to learn,” Michael said, and continued away toward the monkey bars.
Michael said to Jonas, “Get in,” and Jonas, without a single protest, obediently got into the stroller. Michael fastened the straps and wheeled his son out of the playground like a normal, competent stay-at-home dad.
Simon rejoined Charlie and Ramon, who were back to talking about minutiae about the kids. All the kid talk and being on a playground was making Simon miss Jeremy terribly. He checked his cell; still nothing from Alison.
“Something wrong?” Charlie asked.
Charlie and Ramon both had concerned expressions. Simon didn’t see any reason why he had to hide anything from them.
“My wife and I, we’ve been having some problems.” Simon didn’t intend to get emotional but felt his eyes welling up a little.
“Yeah, we knew it, bro,” Ramon said.
“You did?” Simon said. “How?”
“It was pretty obvious,” Charlie said.
Simon didn’t know what had given it away, but he said, “Honestly, it’s one of the main reasons I came here today. I’m losing my family because of all this.”
It felt good to talk about his predicament out loud. He hadn’t realized how much keeping it all to himself was stressing him out.
“If it’s because of the wolfin’ out, I promise you, you’ll get it under control,” Ramon said.
“That’s part of it,” Simon said, “but at this point we have so many problems I don’t know if we can work them out. We had a bad fight yesterday. I may have to move into a hotel.”
“No way you’re staying in a hotel,” Charlie said. “Not when I have an empty pullout couch in my living room.”
“Thanks,” Simon said. “I really appreciate the offer but I can’t do that.”
“You don’t have a choice,” Charlie said.
“He means it, man,” Ramon said. “No point arguing with Charlie when he wants to do somethin’ for you ’cause he always gets his way.”
Simon realized that staying with Charlie could work to his advantage. Maybe Charlie could help him learn how to control transformations, and if he was going to pull this all off—kill Michael and find a werewolf remedy—he had to get the guys to trust him, so it made sense to stay as close to them as possible.
“If you really don’t think I’m putting you out, that sounds great,” Simon said.
Ramon announced that he was in a rush, that he had to drop off Diego uptown “with his abuela” and then head back down to the rehearsal of an Ibsen play in the Village.
Simon left the playground with Charlie and Nicky. Charlie said he also found subways oppressive lately, so Simon and Charlie jogged uptown together, Charlie pushing the stroller. A bunch of people recognized Charlie from the marathon and the subsequent publicity and waved and said hi, and Charlie even stopped and signed autographs for a group of giggly teenage girls.
In the Thirties, they cut over to the east side. It was lunchtime and they couldn’t run along the crowded streets, but they jogged as fast as they could. More people spotted Charlie and asked for autographs, but Charlie didn’t stop to sign.
“Now I get why famous people can be total jerks,” he said. “A few times it’s fun, then it gets to be a pain in the ass.”
When they arrived at Charlie’s place in Turtle Bay, there were a few reporters waiting in the lobby of the modest postwar apartment building.
“Can’t talk now, sorry,” he said, passing by them to the elevator.
When he entered the apartment, Simon saw that Nicky had fallen asleep in his stroller.
“Make yourself at home,” Charlie said, then went right to the fridge and took out a few huge packages of chop meat that looked like they must have been purchased at Costco or some superstore. He asked, “How do you like your meat?”
Was Simon drooling? He felt like he was.
“Rare,” Simon said.
“Is there any other way?” Charlie said.
Charlie turned on the countertop grill and began forming the chop meat into patties. The smell of the raw meat was so tantalizing that Simon wished he could devour it all right now.
“I gotta admit, it’s awesome having you here,” Charlie said. “It’s like we’re Frederick and Oscar.”
“You mean Felix and Oscar,” Simon said.
“Right, Felix and Oscar, the Odd Couple. Two divorced guys sharing an apartment in Manhattan.”
“Yeah, only I’m not divorced,” Simon said.
“Yeah, but we are pretty freakin’ odd.”
Charlie and Simon laughed. Then they stopped, but when they looked at each other they started laughing all over again. This happened a few times. It was like they were two kids in the back of a class in middle school, unable to control themselves. Simon couldn’t remember the last time he’d laughed so hard. It felt like it had been years ago.
When they were through laughing, Charlie said, “I didn’t mean any offense, what I said about you being divorced. I just meant two guys, been married, in an apartment. Not been married, I mean … You know what I mean.”
“No offense taken.” Simon had to go into the living room to get away from the chop meat scent or he wouldn’t’ve been able to resist attacking one of the packages.
Putting the first patties on the grill, Charlie said, “Hey, and let me tell you, if God forbid your marriage doesn’t work out, I just want you to know the grass isn’t green on the other side, it’s bright green. Especially after what happened to us now, with all the attention we get from women. Trust me, you wind up single, you’re gonna have the
time of your life.”
At that moment Simon got a text from Alison:
I really want to talk to you today, away from Jeremy. How about five at Cipriani in Grand Central?
Grand Central? Why would she want to meet there? And what did away from Jeremy mean? Was she going to ask for a divorce?
But the questioning didn’t last for long. She wanted to see him, that was the important thing, and once they were together he’d at least have another chance to apologize to her and convince her that things were going to change. He’d also have a chance to hit an H&M first, buy some new clothes.
