“No worries, Lola, it’s not a problem.” I place my hand on hers. “Truly, it’s all right.” I look at her and try to reassure her, it really isn’t a problem.
“I’ll give you a few minutes,” she says and wanders off to clear a table that has only just been vacated.
The restaurant is busier today, or maybe we’re eating slightly later, but there are certainly more comings and goings; it may just be that it’s the end of the week.
“I’m just going to have the smoked salmon, sounds lovely,” I announce to Anna and James whilst picking up my wine glass.
“Isn’t that a starter?” James looks at the starters. “Yes, it is. Is that all you’re having?”
“Yes, I’m not that hungry, and I’m cooking tonight anyway. Will you join us?” I ask him. He just looks at me, so does Anna.
“Maybe,” he mutters, possibly feeling a little uncomfortable.
“Mum, this is great.” Anna continues to look down, reading the menu in its entirety.
“It’s a very good menu.” James looks at my daughter. “You’ll have to let us know what you think, you know, from a young person’s perspective.”
“The only thing is…” She falters.
“What?” The Bossman looks up quickly, frowning, waiting for the criticism regarding the menu.
“Well, I would expect that a lunchtime menu would have maybe a quality burger and fries, or a choice of sandwiches and fries, or is it a case of food like that isn’t served in a restaurant like this? Are burgers available on the bar menu?” she questions.
“Clive does offer burgers from time to time. The bar menu is light lunches and snacks, mainly sandwiches and, as you say, a portion of chips. We serve chips here, not fries. That was one of Maggie’s directives!” He smiles.
We laugh. From what I do remember of Maggie and my mum, that sounds just like something they would both say, British through and through.
Lola returns to take our order, her pale blonde hair scraped back neatly and her pale blue eyes alert, her notepad at the ready.
“Just the tea-smoked salmon for me, Lola, but I want it served as a main course.” I give my order first.
She looks at Anna. “Can I have the lamb, please, sounds great, but can you hold the Lancashire Pudding from that – whatever that is?”
Lola then looks towards James. “Mr Aconi, and for you?”
“I’ll also have the lamb, as it comes with the Lancashire Pudding.” He smiles at Anna.
As we wait for our food we sit chatting about the morning, what we’ve bought and how I’m feeling. They both keep asking me how I am. “I’m fine,” I say every time someone asks. Eventually I announce to Anna and James to, “Let it drop – it’s just the relief coming out, relief that you know what happened and that I’m not with him any more.” But they keep fussing over me. I suppose it will be a few weeks and no melt-downs before they finally believe that I am truly okay. Anna is a little giggly, perhaps from wine at lunchtime, but whatever the reason it makes for a great light-hearted couple of hours.
As we wait for our food I let my foot drift to James’s. He looks at me and smiles, a cheeky smile, just the edge of his mouth turned ever so slightly. We both listen to Anna intently as she tells us what she’s planned for her and Katie when she arrives tomorrow.
“We’re going to go shopping, I have to take her to Harvey Nichols, I just love that store, and then we’re going to go to Madame Tussauds, I’ve never been and Katie is desperate to go, she wants her photograph taken with the One Direction boys, and then we want to take a picnic into Green Park, do you remember, Mum, when you took me for a picnic in Green Park when I was, I don’t know, about seven?” She rambles away.
I laugh. “I do, you had a tantrum and I told you that the Queen would be able to see you from her window and unless you stopped she would come out and tell you off!”
“I remember that, it gave me nightmares for ages.” She frowns at me.
“Mmmm, but the tantrum stopped!” I laugh and am joined by both Anna and James. The restaurant now busy, our laughter drowned out by the clatter and chatter.
“Are you still okay to collect Katie tomorrow?” I ask James.
“Please can you collect Katie from Euston and bring her home? Please…” Anna whinges. “Mum won’t drive in London, please, James,” Anna begs. “She’s a scaredy-cat.” She laughs at me, she’s had one too many glasses of wine!
“Of course I will, but it’ll have to be in my car, you can come with me.” He looks at Anna.
“OK,” she agrees.
“Is yours the Vauxhall?” I ask.
“Yeah, you’ve seen the old girl?” He looks slightly embarrassed as he refers to the beat-up Vauxhall in the car park.
“Umm,” I mumble, as I watch Marcus fuss around the other guests.
Our food arrives and, as I expected, it is truly delicious. We chat and laugh whilst we eat, and of course Anna has an idea of what is going on between me and James. In fact, I can read her like a book. The looks she sends my way give me no doubt at all that she knows, but she also smiles, which makes me happy. She appears comfortable with the situation and she’s already said that she likes James.
We finish our meal and James stands up from the table. “Ladies, if you will excuse me, I need to speak with Marcus and then there’s a call I need to make before my two-thirty.” He’s such a gentleman, not like the oaf I left behind.
He places his napkin on the table and walks towards the kitchen area where I see Marcus talking to Lola again. I can’t hear what’s being said but it looks like he’s telling the poor girl off again!
“What’s that all about?” Anna asks.
I look over to Marcus and Lola. “I don’t know, but have you seen the way that Marcus is talking to Lola?”
“Yeah, he’s a bit of a one, isn’t he?” Anna slurs.
“Are you okay, Anna, lunchtime drinking not agree with you?” The concerned mother is coming out in me.
“I’m fine… I’ve only had two.” She hiccups.
We both sit perusing the surroundings, it really is a super restaurant. Special, indulgent and very comfortable, and although Anna hinted that the menu was a little “stuffy”, the surroundings don’t feel that way, we’re treated correctly and served efficiently, as you would expect in any fine dining establishment.
I relax as we chat about our morning’s shopping and Anna’s plans for tomorrow, when my mobile starts ringing and I fumble around in the depths of my handbag, searching for the phone which, as usual, has found its way to the very bottom of the soft leather.
“It’s your dad,” I sigh, retrieving the phone. Do I want to take this? I think to myself. No choice really, if I don’t speak with him now he’ll only keep on ringing and ringing.
I tap the accept button on the screen. “Hello, Lewis,” I say matter-of-factly. I really don’t want to speak to him and confessing what has been happening in the past to James and Anna has only reignited the sheer hate and fear I have for this despicable man! Anna looks at me, open mouthed.
“Need to talk to you about the divorce, Alex,” he grunts.
“Oh, you have my final offer, Lewis, I know you do, I’ve discussed this with my solicitor. I really think that if anything needs to be discussed it should be via our lawyers.” I close the door on him.
“But, Alex, can’t we just talk about this like grown-ups? You know, just discuss it, the two of us?” He’s trying his hardest to be nice, to get me to enter into discussion with him.
“Even if I agreed to do that, Lewis, I can’t now, I’m busy.” I try to shut him down again. Despite feeling very nervous at speaking to him, I’m trying to be strong, the new Alex.
“I know you are, I know you’re very, very busy, Alex, what with your new businesses and your new friend.” The way he says friend makes my skin crawl, just speaking to him creeps me out. “How’s your lunch with Anna going? Lover boy gone, has he?” He’s noxious.
He’s here, he’s watching m
e. How does he know I’m having lunch with Anna, how else would he know that James has left the table?
“Where are you, Lewis?” I ask, flustered. I can feel myself start to flush, getting warm, my insides starting to churn.
“I’m somewhere, Alex! We need to speak about the divorce and we need to speak very soon, otherwise I won’t agree to anything. Do you understand me? Do you? I don’t even know why we have to split, what you have now is all mine really. Maggie made a mistake when she left it all to you, it’s mine really, all mine!” He’s getting nasty now, hissing at me. He’s deranged and I can hear the familiar aggressive tone in his voice.
“I’ll call you, Lewis. Once… once I get home, I–I’ll call,” I stammer and hang up. Of course I’ve really no intention of calling him back, but I will speak with Shauna.
Anna’s looking at me, wide eyed, horrified.
“I didn’t like the sound of that, Mum. You’ve gone pale, I’ll get James.” She stands to move away from the table.
“No, sweetheart, don’t. Please don’t,” I beg, “please, don’t!”
We sit staring at each other. I’m wringing my hands in my lap and starting to feel very warm. Anna looks at me, she looks worried. “I’m going to the loo,” she says as she stands from the table.
I sit alone as Anna walks to the rear of the restaurant. I turn and watch her as she weaves towards the ladies. I can hear James talking with Marcus, over in the corner. I feel woozy, my stomach knotted, I’m so scared. I thought I’d escaped the bastard, that he was gone – well, nearly gone – and yet he claims to be watching me.
Anna is gone a little while but returns with James, who is frowning as he sits back down at the table. “Anna said that Lewis phoned – what did he want?” he asks, clearly annoyed that I’d received a call from Lewis.
I look at Anna. My look, I hope, says it all – What the hell did you tell him for?
“It was nothing, he wants to talk about the divorce.” I try to sound plausible, trying to calm myself.
“Really?” James says as he raises an eyebrow. “Then why are you looking like you’ve seen a ghost and why are you wringing your hands? Why is your neck flushed?” His tone, whilst concerned and sympathetic, is also clipped, bordering on a little harsh. His beautiful face now looks angry.
I ignore him. I don’t have to answer to him about anything. I just look down the centre of the restaurant and out of the window.
“Alex,” he presses, “why?”
I’m not aware that I’m still wringing my hands together, not aware that I must look drained, but I feel so warm and my breathing – it’s becoming rapid. I want to run away, leave the place.
“Why, Alex?” he presses again.
“Because he can see me!” I raise my voice, speaking firmly and clearly. “He knows I’m having lunch with both of you and he knows that you left the table, James, that’s why I am nervous. He’s here, he’s somewhere out there looking at me now, he’s here, now… He’s here, he’s here… James, he’s here!” I can feel the tears prick up in my eyes and I start to shake.
“I can’t breathe, I can’t bre—” I cry out as I start to hyperventilate. I can’t get the breath into my lungs, I feel shaky and my stomach hurts. I’m aware that people are rushing towards me, their voices sound like echoes but not James, where’s James?
Someone from another table is bent down beside my chair as I gasp for breath. I clutch onto the edge of the table, gripping it tightly. I don’t know this man bent next to me. I hear someone shout for a paper bag and then a candy pink and white striped bag is being brought towards me. Whoever this man is, he holds my forearm and presses a paper bag to my mouth. “Breathe into this,” he says. “Take long slow breaths, in and out, in and out. That’s it.”
I have no idea who he is, but he’s very calm and keeps talking to me gently, trying to calm me down. I try my hardest to regulate my breathing but it’s not working.
I’m conscious of my surroundings, just. Anna’s stood there, I’m sure she’s crying; a lady has her arm around her shoulder and is talking to her.
“I think maybe we should call an ambulance,” I hear Marcus say.
“No need, mate.” The man standing beside me looks up to Marcus. “I’m a doctor, I’m pretty sure this is a panic attack. Would be good if we could move this lady somewhere a little more private, though. I think we could try and move her now.”
I’m feeling a little calmer. The pains in my stomach have eased a little but I still feel as though I’m struggling to breathe. Marcus and the doctor help me up from the chair.
“We’ll go through here.” Marcus points towards a door. “Meeting room, not being used today.”
We walk through to the meeting room off the restaurant, past several tables of diners, all gawking at the poor woman who is having some sort of episode. James returns just as we walk through to the meeting room.
“How are we doing?” he asks, still looking concerned.
“We’re going to be fine. I think this lady has just experienced a panic attack, but we’re under control. Are you a relative?” The man, who I know now to be a doctor, addresses James.
“I am,” Anna pipes up. “I’m her daughter!”
“Well, has your mum had anything like this before?” the man claiming to be a doctor asks, but before Anna has a chance to answer, James butts in.
“Can I have a word, please? Outside.” James indicates for the doctor to step outside.
“Sure, leave the door open, please,” the doctor says as he follows James.
I sit in my chair, Anna holding my hand, my breathing steady. Marcus has gone to get fresh water and I can hear what’s being said outside the room.
“She’s going through a very rough time,” I hear James explain. “Alex owns this place, but only recently. She’s inherited it from her aunt, she’s also divorcing her husband, lots of reasons but let’s just say he was a bit nifty with the fists, and other things. Anna tells me that he’s just called her, and that he can see her, knows what she’s doing. This started just after she cleared that call!”
There is no reply, I hear nothing, then the doctor starts to speak in hushed tones. They assume that I can’t hear them but I can hear everything through the crack in the door.
“I suppose a history like that would be enough to give even the strongest of us a breakdown of some description. Has she seen anyone, talked about it?” the doctor asks.
“I don’t think she’s seen anyone about anything. Listen, mate, I’m the General Manager here, so I’ve only known Alex for what – six or seven weeks max, but I knew her aunt very well and Maggie, that was her aunt, always spoke of her very fondly, you’d think they were a lovely family. But Alex and I, well, I suppose we’ve got something on the boil, you know…” From James’s tone I can sense that he’s smiling.
“Yes, I know.” I can hear the doctor laugh.
“She showed me the scars. Even her daughter didn’t know, she told me she nursed the worst one herself. The other was years ago, I think just after her daughter was born, but she’s definitely been a punch bag. I tell you, if I could get hold of the bastard!” I can hear the anger in James’s voice as he talks to the doctor.
There’s a pause in the conversation, then I hear the doctor speaking again. “Right. I’ll check on her again now, I think she’ll be okay. Try and persuade her to see her GP though, she may benefit from seeing someone, you know, talking to a professional.”
“I’ll try, but she’s very shut down as far as this is concerned. Until a few days ago nobody other than her and the ex knew any of this. Not even her daughter!” I hear James sigh.
“I see. Well, I’ll leave my card. I’m a plastics specialist, if she wants anyone to look at the scars give me a call.”
“Great, thanks,” I hear James say.
They both come back into the meeting room, where I’m sipping my water. I look up at James and give him a little smile and then at the man who has helped me. “Thank you,” I sa
y quietly. “Thank you so much.”
Then it’s yesterday all over again – I cry and crumble, sobbing. James approaches me and kneels down beside the chair. He places his hand on my back and starts to give it a gentle rub.
“Don’t touch me!” I yell. “Please don’t touch me!”
James backs off immediately with a look of horror. “What’s wrong, Alex? Please tell me what’s wrong.”
“Mum… Oh God, Mum… What’s happening?” Anna is crying.
“It’s not you, James.” I look at him. “It’s not you… I’m going to throw up…”
James moves quickly to the corner of the room, he’s like lightning as he returns with a standard office paper bin which he places between my knees. I bet I look like a right sight.
I hurl into the bin, the contents of my lunch now splattered around the make-do receptacle. Anna leaves the room, but James stays, he holds my hair back. “Can I touch you, Alex, can I hug you?”
“Umm,” I say as I hurl again.
He rubs my back whilst holding my hair back from my face. This time I don’t tell him to leave me.
When I have finished evacuating my stomach contents, I just sit… I’m exhausted.
“You need to rest. I think we’ll find a bed here for you, Alex, so you can have a lie down. I’ll just go and sort a room out.” He steps outside of the meeting room.
“Anna, can you stay with your mum? I’m just going to sort a room, she can sleep here. You want one too? You may as well stay here tonight.”
“Yeah, sure. I was hoping that Katie and I can stay in the hotel when she comes down tomorrow anyway, you know, if there’s a room free?” Anna asks.
James starts to walk towards the door. He turns towards Anna with one hand on the door handle. “When are you going back? I’ll check room availability.”
“Wednesday morning,” she tells him.
He returns a few minutes later with two room keys, one for me and one for Anna. We walk slowly from the meeting room and head for the lift. He’s booked out two of the newly redesigned rooms – a twin for Anna so that Katie can stay for the next few days, and the beautiful four-poster suite for me.
Freeing Alex (The Alexandra Drake Series) Page 11
