by Joyce Meyer
Guilt is worry that is rooted in fear. We are afraid that God is angry, or that what we have done wrong is too big and too bad, even for God to forgive. We feel we don’t deserve forgiveness so we won’t receive it. We worry about what people think of our past sins. We are afraid they will never forgive us or see us as good people again. Guilt has everything to do with the past and it has the power to ruin your future. Get over it!
God holds nothing against you if you are sincerely sorry for what you have done and are trusting in the blood of Jesus to cleanse you from your former wickedness. The minute you repent, God forgives and forgets it, so why not follow His example and receive His forgiveness and forget it yourself?
A confident woman does not live in the past, she lets go of it and looks to the future. I believe that many women reading this book have a decision to make right now. Maybe you failed someone, or had an abortion, or committed adultery, stole something, lied or did any number of terrible things. But, God’s question to you is what are you going to do today? Will you live the rest of your life serving God and following His plan for you? If you are ready to make that commitment there is nothing in your past that has enough power to hold you back.
Is Dread Draining Your Joy?
People dread many things and most of them don’t even realize what dread does to them. It sucks the joy right out of the present moment. The life God has provided for us through Jesus Christ is a precious gift and we should enjoy every moment of it.
Once I was getting a facial and enjoying it extremely. I glanced at the door and saw my clothes hanging on the hook and thought, “Oh, I dread getting up and putting on my clothes and driving all the way home.” Then I realized I was letting dread do its dirty work again. It was stealing the joy of the present moment.
Pray and ask God to show you every time you begin to dread any task or something lurking in your future that you’re not quite sure of. Merely eliminating dread from your life will release more of your God-given confidence and help you experience more joy.
How often do you find yourself putting things off that you dread doing? Maybe it’s that stack of laundry, or those bills that need paying, or worse, maybe it’s your annual taxes! Train yourself not to dread unpleasant tasks but to actually tackle them first. The sooner in the day you do the things you don’t prefer doing, the more energy you have to do them with. If you wait until the end of the day when most of your energy is gone and then try to do something you really don’t like doing, it will be worse than doing it earlier. Dread causes us to procrastinate, but if you’re ever going to do something, now is the best time!
Putting something off does not make it go away, it only allows more time to torment you. You can dread or you can confidently take action. As Christians with the power of the Holy Spirit inside of us, surely we can manage to do an unpleasant task without dreading it and with a good attitude. God’s power is not available just to make unpleasant things in our lives go away, it is frequently available to walk us through them courageously.
Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff
It is highly probable that you dread more little things than you do major things. First of all we have a lot of little things we deal with all the time but the major things come fewer and farther in between. As I began to examine this area of dread in my own life I realized it operated in little daily areas like going to the grocery store, doing laundry, running an errand, or looking for a parking place in a crowded shopping mall. I dreaded waiting because historically, I have not been an extremely patient person. Waiting in lines, traffic, or for slow people to get a job done were things I dreaded and allowed those things to frustrate me.
Like many of you, I have a lot to do and I don’t like wasting my time waiting for people and things. But, thank God, I have learned it does no good at all to dread something I have to do anyway. It steals my current joy and I have lost enough of that in my life so I am not willing to give up any more of it. Do you feel that way? Have you also wasted a lot of your life in fear, worry or dread simply because you did not have enough knowledge to know how to deal with it? If so, I believe those days are coming to an end for you. I have faith that the knowledge contained in this book will enable you to enjoy a different quality of life than you previously did.
A conference was being held at a church in Omaha where those in attendance were given helium-filled balloons and told to release them at some point in the service when they felt like expressing the joy in their hearts. All through the service balloons ascended, but when it was over, one-third of the balloons were still unreleased. Let your balloon go.2 Let your joy be known, even in the little things.
It has become a game with me to try to beat the joy sucker of dread at his own game. I want to prove to the devil that I can enjoy everything I do and that his tactics to steal my joy just won’t work anymore. Greater is He that is in me than he that is in the world (1 John 4:4). I believe it glorifies God when we refuse to live in fear, worry, dread or any other relatives of theirs.
When I find myself in a situation I would rather not be in, whether it is waiting or doing an unpleasant task, I make a decision that I will do it joyfully and not dread it and then I exercise self-control. I use those faith muscles that God has given to me as well as every person on the planet. If we allow fear in our lives it breeds more fear, but if we practice walking in faith it becomes easier to do it again and again.
Anointed to Do Natural Things with Supernatural Power
When I think of the word anointed, I think of something being rubbed all over. We are anointed (rubbed all over) with God’s power. He has anointed us with the presence and power of the Holy Spirit to help us live life in a supernatural way.
Even as spiritual people we must deal with ordinary natural things all the time. Don’t let the things that defeat other people defeat you. Don’t faint in your mind when you look at a job that needs to be done and give up before you ever get started. Remember that messes are made a little bit at a time over a long period of time and it will take time to clean them up. Think about how messy your closet, garage or basement is—it didn’t get that way overnight and it probably won’t get cleaned up without some time and effort. Does a messy area of your home aggravate you every time you see it, yet you put off cleaning it up because you dread it? If so, it is time for change. I want you to attack those messes boldly and have the confidence that you can have order in your life and home. Don’t let a messy closet defeat you. You have the power of God in your life. You are able to clean up closets, basements, garages and anything else in your life that is a mess and do it with joy!
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Dread is expecting something unpleasant to happen and it has nothing to do with faith. Faith looks forward to something good.
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Does the thought of mowing the lawn get you discouraged? Do you think, “Oh man, I wish I didn’t have to mow the lawn today, I really dread it. I wish I could just go shopping or do something fun.” If so, you’re not abnormal. We are all tempted to think like that, but the good news is God has given you the spirit of self-control and you can choose what you will think about any situation. You can also choose to do what you know is right no matter how you feel at the moment.
Dale Carnegie said, “You can conquer almost any fear if you will only make up your mind to do so. For remember, fear doesn’t exist anywhere except in the mind.”3
For God did not give us a spirit of timidity [of cowardice, of craven and cringing and fawning fear], but [He has given us a spirit] of power and of love and of calm and well-balanced mind and discipline and self-control. (2 TIMOTHY 1:7)
We can conquer worry and fear, and we can also conquer dread. God has given us a spirit of self-control; all we have to do is exercise it and we will experience freedom from fear and dread.
Dread is expecting something unpleasant to happen and it has nothing to do with faith. Faith looks forward to something good. I believe dread is very deceptive. It is so subtle that it is usually im
perceptible. Even while writing this chapter, I needed to stop for awhile and pack all my stuff to get ready to leave a friend’s condo I was staying in and return to my home in St. Louis, Missouri. I put my computer and resource material away and began packing. Only a few seconds went by when I realized I was dreading packing up all my things. Here I was writing a chapter in a book encouraging others not to dread and dread was trying to suck me into its misery. Thankfully I recognized it and was able to say, “no way.” I am going to enjoy this packing; I will not dread it!
I believe this is a big area that people really need to look out for. The instant you begin to dread something, your joy starts to go and a “down feeling” sets in. Everything about the devil is down. It is all doom and gloom, depressing and discouraging, negative and yucky. Don’t dread anything, but instead face everything with courage and believe you can do anything you need to do and do it with a good attitude.
We know that lack of confidence, worry, dread, and other tormenting emotions are rooted in fear. Fear is the source of these problems, but is there anything we can do to help prevent fear?
Learn to Trust
Babies don’t worry, and they don’t dread things, so why do adults? As babies we are not responsible for anything and everything is taken care of for us. As we mature and begin to take on responsibility we either learn to be confident, placing our trust in God, or we live in fear, worry and dread. We can look to God and trust in His faithfulness and be confident that He will not let us down or disappoint us. If we don’t look to God and place our trust in Him then we carry a burden that we were never meant to bear alone.
Now suddenly WE must make sure everything goes right. WE have to figure things out and come up with answers. Worry is simply fear that things won’t work out the way we want them to. But the person who trusts in God has confidence that even if things don’t work out the way they desire, that God will have a better plan than they had anyway. Confidence believes that all things work together for good for those who love God and are called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28). Confidence in God is absolutely wonderful because it gives you the confidence that God has answers even when you don’t.
Trust is confidence, confidence gives us boldness and boldness does not allow fear to hinder its progress. Boldness is action in the face of fear. Babies naturally trust, but as they have experiences in life, sadly, they learn how to fear. They learn that everything and everyone in their life is not stable and that they cannot always be depended on. People and circumstances change. A child may trust that mom and dad will always love each other and be together. But if mom and dad get a divorce the child’s world comes crashing in because something they never even conceived could happen did happen.
As a child continues to mature and encounter various disappointing circumstances they either distrust more and more, or they learn how to trust God who never changes and is always faithful. This does not mean that God always does what we expect Him to do or even what we want Him to do, but He is good. Trusting Him brings a supernatural rest into our soul that allows us to enjoy life, and live free from the tyranny of fear.
Search for Knowledge
Our little dog has no responsibilities. She lies around or sleeps, plays, eats, drinks and goes to the bathroom. When anything unusual happens, it frightens her and she begins to get nervous and shake. Once she understands what is going on she begins to calm down.
One night I was lying in bed and heard a noise upstairs. The longer I listened to it the more frightened I became. Finally, shaking from fear, I went upstairs to see what it was. I had to laugh when I discovered it was ice cubes falling in the ice tray from the ice maker. It just happened that the way they were falling was making a noise they did not normally make.
Lack of knowledge causes fear and knowledge removes it.
Let me tell you a true but tragic story: A woman was once walking along a riverbank with her child. Suddenly the child slipped into the river. The mother screamed in terror! She couldn’t swim and besides, she was in the latter stages of pregnancy. Finally, somebody heard her screaming and rushed down to the riverbank. The utter tragedy was, when they stepped into those murky waters to retrieve the child, now dead, they found that the water was only waist deep! That mother could have easily saved her child but didn’t because of a lack of knowledge.4
The mother must have felt terrible because she didn’t check to see how deep the water was. But, fear makes us behave irrationally. Between fear of the child drowning and fear of the water she was paralyzed and did nothing. Knowledge could have changed this entire tragic story.
Knowledge will help you have confidence. If you are going for a job interview, make sure you are prepared and have all the knowledge you will need with you to answer questions they may ask you. We live in a world today where knowledge is as close as your computer. Not only can you do online research about the company you’re applying with but you can find tips on how to have a successful interview.
Instead of being afraid of something you are not familiar with, familiarize yourself with it. Do some research or ask some questions. It might take a little effort to do so, but it is better than being tormented by fear.
Learn to Think Differently
You can move from pain to power simply by reeducating your mind. The Bible refers to this process as renewing the mind. Simply put, we must learn how to think differently. If you have been taught to fear you can be taught to be bold, courageous and confident. Rather than allowing fear to prevent your success and joy in life, you can accept that it is a fact of life. Throughout life you will have to either run away from things in fear or face them confidently. Fear has a large shadow, but it is actually very small. When we fear we will suffer, we already suffer the things we fear. Fear brings torment!
Instead of thinking that you cannot do things if you are afraid, make up your mind that you will do whatever you need to do even if you have to do it afraid. Change your thinking about fear. We allow fear to become a monster in our thinking, but it is one that will back down quickly when confronted. Fear is like the school bully. It pushes everyone around until someone finally challenges it.
The renewing of the mind is the most important thing a person needs to do after receiving Jesus Christ as their Savior. Jesus died for our sins and He wants us to enjoy the life He has provided. God’s Word teaches us that He has provided a good plan for each person, yet they will never experience it unless they know about it and also know how to access it (Romans 12:2). People perish and their lives are destroyed for a lack of knowledge (Hosea 4:6). Knowledge and understanding is power when applied properly.
Trisha was haunted by an unreasonable fear that her husband Bob would get involved with another woman and leave her. Her fear made her suspicious and she frequently accused her husband of things that made no sense to him at all. For example, if he needed to work overtime she would call his office to check and make sure he was there because she suspected he was seeing another woman. If for some reason he did not answer the phone she panicked. She would even get into her car and drive past his place of work just to make sure he was there.
One night she called to check on him and when he did not answer she drove to his office. He was in the bathroom when she called and he immediately left to go home after that. By the time she arrived at his office his car was gone and the little voice inside her head began tormenting her with accusations against Bob. She was surprised to find his car in the garage, but it was too late to gain control of her emotions, she was already enraged with anger and suspicion. When she approached Bob, she was saying so many things that made no sense at all to him that he began to wonder about her sanity. This scene and others like it were slowly but surely eroding Bob’s respect for Trisha.
Once he bought her a special bracelet to surprise her. They were planning to go to dinner that weekend and he had hidden the bracelet. In the middle of the week while cleaning out a drawer she normally would not get into, she found the bracelet and onc
e again, because of her fear, she immediately thought that it was a gift he had purchased for another woman. It never entered her mind that it might be a gift for her. It is not the nature of fear to look at the positive possibilities, but instead it always assumes the worst.
Even when Bob told her that he had purchased it for her, she didn’t believe him at first. Trisha’s behavior began to seriously affect their relationship and he told her that she had to get to the bottom of these ridiculous fears. He never gave her one reason to distrust him and could not understand what her problem was. To be honest, she didn’t understand it either until she began to pray about it. God revealed to her that her fear was the fruit of a sudden and tragic change in her own life when as a child her father left her mother for another woman who he worked with.
Having understanding about where the fear came from really helped Trisha to resist it. She began reading and educating herself about the nature of fear. For quite some time she still had some of the same thoughts and feelings but she was now able to reason with herself because she had knowledge. As time went by the fear went with it and Bob and Trisha’s relationship healed.
Many fears are the result of something that happened in the past and that we fear will happen again. If a person’s mother died of cancer they might fall prey to a fear that they will die the same way. They could become paranoid and fear that every little ache, pain or strange feeling in their body is cancer. Fear that you will suffer, causes suffering already while you are in fear. The fear we have about an event that may happen is usually worse than the thing would be even if it did happen. Don’t be afraid that your life will end; instead, believe that it’s just beginning.
