by Joyce Meyer
In our world today most people compromise rather than take a stand for what is right. Jesus said we would be persecuted for righteousness sake and most people are not up for that. Jesus also promised a reward; however, the majority of people want reward without commitment. If we do what God has asked us to do, we will get what He promised us we could have. Salvation is free and its only condition is, “believe,” but the benefits of being a Christian do come with conditions. God simply said, “If you will, I will.” Most Christians live far below their God-ordained destiny and privileges simply because they compromise rather than taking a stand.
Little Pedro felt it was right for him to go to church and he was willing to suffer in order to do the right thing. Very few adults would do what he did. This little boy was an up-and-coming world changer. People with uncommon courage change the world around them. They don’t conform to the world; they change it and make it a better place to live.
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If you are the only one you know who is willing to do what is right, then you be the one who will make a difference.
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Do you find yourself complaining about conditions in the world today? Ask yourself: “What am I doing to change it?” If your answer is nothing, then stop complaining and get to work! Take a stand. If you are the only one you know who is willing to do what is right, then you be the one who will make a difference. Yes, it may be a lonely walk, there may be persecution along the way, but the rewards are worth it. You will have the satisfaction of knowing that you lived your life fully and completely and refused to let fear be your master.
Do All That You Can Do
Some individuals pass quietly and fearfully through life and never do anything to make the world a better place. They are so concerned with self-preservation that they never reach out to the millions of souls around them who are crying out for help. Just think about it . . . The woman at work whose fourteen-year-old son is killed in a drive-by shooting. The man whose wife leaves him for another man. The neighbor who just found out she has terminal cancer. Then there is the family you heard about at church who is in danger of losing their home because the husband lost his job and hasn’t been able to find one for five months. The bank is ready to foreclose on their loan and they really have no where else to go. They are desperate and don’t know what to do. Everyone tells them that God will provide, but no one is doing anything.
We must realize that God works through people. We are His hands, feet, arms, mouth, eyes and ears. God does miracles, but He does them through people with uncommon courage. Those who forget about themselves long enough will notice that God has placed someone in their path that is hurting and needy. We pray for God to use us and when He tries we are often too busy to be bothered.
When God created Adam and Eve, He blessed them, told them to be fruitful and multiply and use all the vast resources of the earth that He gave them in the service of God and man. Are you being fruitful? Is your life causing increase? When you get involved with people and things, do they increase and multiply? Some people only take in life, and they never add anything. I refuse to be that kind of person. I want to make people’s lives better. I want to put smiles on faces. Are you using the resources you have in the service of God and man? We must all make sure that we are not like the rich man in the Bible who had so much that all of his barns were full with no room for more. Instead of giving any of it away, he decided that he would tear down the barns he had and just build bigger ones and collect more stuff for himself. I think he was the dumbest man in the Bible.
He could have decided that he would use what he had to bless others, but he must have been a fearful, selfish man, who only had room in his life for himself (Luke 12:16–20). God called the man a fool, and said, “This very night they (the messengers of God) will demand your soul of you; and all the things that you have prepared, whose will they be?” The man was going to die that night and all he would leave behind was “stuff.” He had an opportunity to make the world a better place. He could have added to many lives and put smiles on thousands of faces. Instead, he fearfully and selfishly only cared about himself.
Be courageous. Forget about yourself and start doing all you can to help others. Get a new goal. . . . “Put smiles on faces.” Encourage, edify, lift up, comfort, help, give hope, relieve pain, and lift burdens.
Jesus said if we want to be His disciples we will forget about ourselves, lose sight of ourselves and all of our own interests (Mark 8:34). The minute we hear that, fear strikes our hearts and we hear loudly in our heads, “what about me?” If I forget myself, who is going to take care of me? My beloved, do not be afraid, God Himself will take care of you. Everything you do for other people will come back to you many times over, with joy. If you are willing to give yourself away, you will have a much better life than you ever would have had trying to keep yourself.
Women are sensitive to the needs of others. They are discerning, they notice things. I believe God gives you and I an ability to be touched by the infirmities of others for the express purpose of helping. Women are experts in bringing comfort. Courageous women are givers. Don’t just selfishly and fearfully pass through this life, but do everything you can, every way you can, for everyone that you can, as often as you can. If that is your goal, you will be one of those rare individuals who actually make the world a better place and put a smile on every face.
Chapter Seventeen
YOU GO GIRL!
I have shared a lot of what I know about how you can become a confident woman, and now I believe you are going to act on this information and begin living boldly and fearlessly. It doesn’t matter how you lived before now, this is a new beginning. Every day God’s mercy is new and it is available for all of us today. Don’t look back, look forward!
Be decisive, follow your heart and don’t be overly concerned about what other people think of you and your decisions. Most of them are not thinking about you as much as you might imagine that they are anyway.
Don’t live constantly comparing yourself with others; be your unique self. (See Corinthians 10:12.) Celebrate who God has made you to be. There is only one who has the unique traits and skills that make up who you are. Enjoy the fact that God knew what He was doing and rely on the thought that surely God said the same thing about you as He did when He called the world into creation. “And it was good.”
Confident Talk and a Confident Walk
So many times our outward appearance shows the way we’re feeling inside. But it can also work the other way! When we look confident on the outside, we can feel more confident on the inside. When you walk, stand upright. Don’t slump your shoulders and hang your head down. You are full of the life of God so act like it! Live with passion, zeal and enthusiasm. Don’t just try to “make it” through the day. Celebrate the day. Say, “This is the day the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it.” (Psalm 118:24). Don’t dread the day, attack the day. Know what you want to accomplish today and go for it.
Smile
It’s a fact that’s often stated, but it’s worth mentioning here. It only takes seventeen muscles to smile, but forty-three to frown. In other words, you work a whole lot harder looking sour than looking happy! So make it a point to smile more. Smile a lot. The more you smile the better you will feel. Your smile not only makes you appear and feel more confident, it gives others confidence. They feel approved of and accepted when we smile at them. We actually say more with our body language than we do with words. I can often tell if a person is confident just by the way they carry themselves and by the look on their face. Some people always look unsure and even frightened, while others appear confident and at ease.
You may think that you cannot do anything about the way you look, but you can. I started out as a person who rarely smiled. I was abused and had a lot of disappointment in my life so I had a perpetual solemn look. I was actually secretly waiting for the next disaster to take place in my life. I had lost hope, I had a negative attitude, I was fea
rful and it showed on my face and in the way I carried myself. I started making changes by just smiling. Now I smile a lot.
Did you know that a smile is a wonderful weapon? It’s so powerful you can break ice with it! If a person is cold toward you, just start smiling and see them warm up. If you wear a smile you will have friends, if you wear a frown all you will have is wrinkles. Smiles are a language that even babies understand. Smiles are multi-lingual; they are understood in every language. I heard someone once say, “you are not fully dressed until you put on your smile.”
Smiling actually makes you feel better and lifted up. Studies show that when you smile, your heart rate can actually lower and your breathing slows down, particularly if you’re feeling stressed. When you get out of bed, even if you don’t feel like smiling, force yourself to smile anyway and you will have a happier day. A smile of encouragement at the right moment may be the turning point for a troubled life. A smile costs nothing, but gives much. If you are not smiling, you are like a millionaire who has money in the bank, but no checks.
Most women are concerned about their looks and a smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks instantly. Ziggy said, “a smile is a facelift that is in everyone’s price range.”
When you were born you were crying and everyone around you was smiling; live your life in such a way that when you die you will be smiling and everyone else will be crying.
You may be familiar with Joel Osteen, a pastor from Houston, Texas. Joel has become very popular in a short period of time. He not only pastors the largest church in the United States but he is also on television in many parts of the world. Joel is known as “the smiling preacher.” He literally smiles all the time. I have eaten with him several times and I am still trying to figure out how he can eat and smile at the same time, but he does it. He is a great pastor and teacher of God’s word, but I believe one of the main things that helps his popularity is his smile. People want to feel better and anytime we smile at them it helps them do that. A smile reassures people and puts them at ease.
Confident Talk
According to the Bible, the power of life and death is in the tongue and we often have to eat our words.
Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and they who indulge in it shall eat the fruit of it [for death or life]. (Proverbs 18:21)
I wonder how many times in our lives we say, “I’m afraid . . .” “I’m afraid I’ll get that flu that is going around.” “I’m afraid my kids will get in trouble.” “I’m afraid it’s going to snow, and I’m afraid to drive in it, if it does.” “With the way prices are going up, I’m afraid I won’t have enough money.” “I’m afraid if I don’t go to that party, people will think badly of me.” “I’m afraid we won’t get a good seat at the theater.” “I’m afraid someone will break into my house while I’m out of town.” If we heard a recording of every time in our life we have said, “I’m afraid,” we would probably be amazed that our lives are going as well as they are.
If we really understood the power in words, I think we would change the way we talk. Our talk should be confident and bold, not fearful. Fearful talk not only affects us in an adverse way, but it affects those around us.
I want to make a bold statement right now. If you will just change the way you talk, you will immediately begin to feel stronger, bolder, courageous and less afraid. James said the tongue is like a wild beast and cannot be tamed by anyone (James 3:2–10). We certainly need God’s help for this one! We are so accustomed to saying things without paying any attention at all to what we are saying, that we will need God’s help just to recognize fearful, silly, foolish and sinful talk.
Even after we recognize the error of our ways we still need to form new habits. Making and breaking habits take time so don’t get discouraged with yourself if you don’t have immediate victory in this area. Keep at it and little by little you will develop the habit of saying things that add to your life, not take away from it.
Speak Life to Yourself
I am a great fan of speaking God’s Word out loud. I even wrote a book on this subject called The Secret Power of Speaking God’s Word. In the book I list Scriptures in categories, and present them as first-person confessions that make it easier for people to begin doing it.
Don’t talk about yourself according to the way you feel or look. Speak God’s Word over your life. Don’t say about yourself what others say unless what they say is worth repeating. Perhaps your parents spoke to you in a way that caused you to lack confidence. They may not have known any better, but the good news is, you don’t have to be affected by their words for the rest of your life. You can change your image of yourself beginning right now!
Don’t say things like: “I just don’t have any confidence,” or, “I’ll never overcome my fears.” Say what you want, not what you have. Anything God says you can have, you can have. But you will need to get into agreement with Him. David said, “My confidence is in the Lord,” and you can say the same thing. Paul said, “We can do all things through Christ who strengthens us.” So you can say, “I can do whatever God tells me to do in life because Christ will give me strength.” God says in His Word that He did not give us a spirit of fear, so we can say, “I will not fear, God has not given me a spirit of fear.” I’m sure you get the idea by now.
As you speak God’s Word out loud you renew your own mind. Remember, Romans 12 teaches us that though God has a good plan for our lives, we must totally renew our minds and learn how to think right before we will see it come to pass.
What is in your heart comes out of your mouth (Matthew 12:34) and what you keep in your mouth affects your heart. It is a cycle. What comes first, is it thoughts or words? It really doesn’t matter because they affect each other and both must be corrected in order for us to enjoy the life Jesus died to give us.
Stop saying, “I’m depressed, I’m discouraged, “I’m ready to give up” or “nothing good ever happens to me.” All talk of that type is totally useless. They are words that cannot add to your life, but they can certainly prevent you from living.
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If we really understood the power that is in words, I think we would change the way we talk.
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If you have considered yourself to be a person with low self-esteem, no confidence, cowardly, timid, shy and fearful, I believe this is a turning point for you. However, you will have to be persistent. It is not what we do right one or two times that makes a difference in our life; it’s what we do right consistently.
Confident Talk Rubs Off
When you speak confidently it rubs off on others around you. They will be confident in you if you sound like you’re confident in yourself. Don’t be arrogant, but do be confident.
There is a woman who works in my office and she is the type of woman that just seems to be able to do anything you ask her to do. I don’t know if she is as confident as she sounds, but she puts me at ease. Anytime we ask her to do something her immediate response is “no problem.” She doesn’t mean it in an arrogant way, she is simply saying that she will get it done and we don’t have to be concerned about it any longer. Busy people like me need people like that in their life.
I am convinced that even if she didn’t know how to do something, she would find out. Or she would get someone else to do it who did know how. Another thing she frequently says when asked to do something is, “I’ll take care of it,” and, she always does.
I am not suggesting that people try to do things they are not gifted for and just fake it. Obviously, we need to do what God enables us to do, but we need to do it confidently. I am confident that I am a very good Bible teacher. If I wasn’t, then I really should not be trying to teach. What is the point in doing something all of your life if you believe that you aren’t any good at it?
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We cannot ask fearfully and expect to receive. We must come to God’s throne boldly.
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You go girl—you start talking and walking with c
onfidence! It is time for you to look up, not down. It is time for you to expect great things to happen in your life.
Have a Confident Expectation
We have no right to expect what we have not prayed for. The Bible says we have not because we fail to ask (James 4:2). So ask and keep on asking (Matthew 7:7).
How you ask is also important. The Bible says in James 5:16 that the fervent, effectual prayer of a righteous man makes tremendous power available. What kind of man? A righteous man! Not one who feels guilty, condemned, no good, and as if God is angry with him. Not one who is fearful, cowardly, timid, indecisive and double-minded.
Doesn’t the Bible say that our righteousness is like filthy rags and that all have sinned and come short of the glory of God. Yes, it does say that. But it is not our own righteousness that we wear into the prayer closet, it is the righteousness of Jesus Christ. It is that which is given to every true believer in Him.
