by Marian Wells
“Why, Harold, do you mean to tell me that you honestly think we’d have gone Union that easy?”
“Certainly. I told myself it didn’t matter too much. Seems the idea of war wouldn’t linger too long. But I forgot one thing.”
“What was that?”
“Southerners aren’t known for giving up easy on anything. They’ve demanded their slaves, and they’re determined to keep them. Also, they’ve been pushing this idea of the North being a patsy. Wanted people up north to believe one hard threat with a few guns, and the North would give them slavery forever. Didn’t realize the North has a lot of the same kind of blood in their veins. It’s a hard-nosed bunch we’re up against. I’m thinking now that we’re going to be forced to fight until this problem is resolved once and for all.”
He paused for a moment, then continued. “I’ve been listening to the fellows talking around town; these aren’t my ideas. Might say I’m scared to admit it, but this is one of those situations where there’s no backing out of the situation we’ve helped cause.”
****
Each day Olivia and Louisa walked down to Lily Mae’s field and took their turn at the plow. Louisa said, “Olivia, we might as well look at this as a good opportunity. Never know when we’ll need the experience. Besides, it’s keeping you from wearing out my floor by pacing to the window to see if your man’s coming up the path.”
For a moment Olivia was embarrassed, and then she laughed. “I wasn’t aware of being so—silly.” She kept her voice light. “But if I’m able to plow a field all on my own, might be I’ll talk Alex out of being a lawyer so we can buy a farm instead.”
Unexpectedly Louisa hugged her. “You ought to learn to plow straight before you do much talking to Alex.”
On the first of March Lily Mae’s sister arrived from Nashville. On that same day Olivia and Louisa carried a sack of seed corn between them when they arrived at the farmhouse.
Louisa dropped the sack of corn just inside the door, out of the reach of persistent hens. Lily Mae, flanked by her children, pressed Louisa and Olivia into the kitchen. “This here is my sister, Hannah; she’s from Nashville, and she has the tales to tell! The Yanks have taken Nashville, and she’s escaped with her life!”
“Oh, Lily Mae!” Hannah turned from the stove with a wide, easy smile. “Don’t you believe half of what my sister says. I did not say that. Actually, it’s quite the opposite. They gave us a bow and said, ‘Pleased to meetcha, and please go back to doing what you were doing when we came.’ No, I’m serious. They were just as nice as they could be. See, we were shaking in our shoes when we heard the Yanks were coming. General Beauregard had said about those Yanks that ‘beauty and booty’ was their motto.”
She came to the table and sat down. “But it was a blow, I tell you. On Saturday night, pretty close around midnight, the word came that General Grant had been defeated and that General Pillow was victor. My, there were church bells ringing and people dancing in the streets. Never did we feel so confident and secure—then came Sunday morning.”
Hannah stopped to drink her coffee. Olivia eased forward on the bench. “Mind you, we were at church, celebrating the victory, when the blow fell. All peace and quiet one minute and the next, Governor Harris came galloping through town yelling that Fort Donelson had fallen, the army had been captured, and the Yanks were moving in on us. He gathered up the state legislature, jumped on a train, and headed for Memphis. And the confusion he left behind him!
“That was the end of church and rejoicing. Men were throwing bags and trunks out windows, while the womenfolk were walking up and down, wringing their hands and weeping. Johnston was telling us there’s not a way on earth Nashville can be held against the enemy. Down in Nashville, there’s hardly an anthill to hide behind. So he took off, and here came the Yanks.
“Sure, the Yanks would rise up and call us blessed for giving them the river and a bunch of good roads.” She twisted out a wry smile. “But after all the things Beauregard said about them, we didn’t want to stick around and greet them. But most of us realized there wasn’t any place we could go, so we might as well sit tight and hope for the best.
“My, those Yankee generals were something else. They were gentlemen. Came into town, and the first thing they did was to put down rules, saying the soldiers weren’t to enter any home without being sent out to do so. Then they all went and called on Mrs. Polk—you know, she’s the old lady whose husband was President of the United States.” She sipped her coffee and then added soberly, “It’s fearful how fast life can change. Last month the South was spreading out all over the place—half of Kentucky and all of the Tennessee was in their hands. Now every where you look there’s the Yanks.”
Olivia couldn’t control her sigh of relief. Hannah grinned at her. “I kinda feel the same way. Not much in favor of war in the first place. I guess at heart I’m really for the Union.”
The corn didn’t get planted that day. But when Olivia and Louisa left the house late in the afternoon, Lily Mae eyed the corn sitting just inside the door. “We could come back tomorrow morning and plant,” Louisa said. “We’ll have you a crop coming up before your husband gets home.”
When Louisa and Olivia turned into the Stevens’ lane, they saw a strange horse tied to the fence. A man on the porch got up from the rocking chair and Olivia recognized Alex.
She moved toward him, nearly doubting her eyes, as he came down off the porch with a leap. His arms were hard, warm and familiar. “Oh, Alex, you have a bump on your nose.”
“Olivia, let me see your hands. What have you been doing?”
She sighed happily. “Nothing, just waiting for you.”
“And I’ve come to take you home, back to Pennsylvania.”
“Alex, you don’t need to convince me. I’ve no desire to do more traveling except back to Pennsylvania. And we’ll stay there forever.”
She leaned back to look at him. He was pale, and his eyes seemed sunken, shadowed. She put her arms around him. “Oh, Alex, you don’t need to tell me,” she whispered. “I can see it was horrible.”
Chapter 20
“Spring has come to Pennsylvania, too.” Olivia glanced at her husband and slipped her hand into his. “Did you notice, Alex? The hickory trees and the willows look as if they’re wearing green clouds.”
She turned to look at the Coopers’ house, rising like a pale gold shaft in the middle of plowed fields, barren orchards, and empty flower beds. “For us, the Willows is home, isn’t it?”
“Yes, my dear, it is home,” he murmured, looking toward the dock. “And now I need to check out the Golden Awl. See what needs to be done before she’s ready for the river.”
“We’ve only been home two days, and you can’t wait to get into that boat,” Olivia murmured. He glanced at her and she smiled. “I’m teasing. But Alex, after your stories—”
He wrapped his arms around her and snuggled her head under his chin. “Olivia, I awaken in the night and have to touch you to remind myself—”
“I know; I’ve felt your restlessness. Alex, what must it be for the others?” She felt him flinch and she tightened her arms. Is he thinking of going back—back to the battle, into the danger? she wondered. “Alex, it will soon be over,” she insisted. “You’ve done your part. Amos has given you a list of projects you can do to help the slaves and the soldiers.”
“I wonder why Caleb hasn’t come?” Alex questioned. “Not a one of us has heard from him since we left Canada.”
“I’ve written again,” Olivia murmured. “But Alex, even more than worrying about him, I can’t stop wondering about Crystal and Matthew.”
“I hope you’re praying for them.”
“Yes, and it seems strange to me that I constantly think of them together. I do pray that God will keep them safe and bring them back together. Is that too much to ask? Oh, Alex, both of them were so torn I can scarcely believe they’ll ever see each other again.”
“Let’s pray they’ll try to settle their
problem. Our God is a God of miracles, and if we want a miracle in their lives—”
“We must believe God wants it, too.”
Alex kicked at the stone in the path and Olivia asked, “What are you going to do with the boat?”
“I don’t know. Perhaps look around for someone needing my services.”
“Sadie said Mike did hauling on the river until the war closed it to traffic other than military.” She hesitated. “If something’s happened to Mike, will they let us know?”
He shook his head. “But I understand the newspapers publish lists of casualties, and they’re also posted in each city and town.” A shadow passed over his face like a cloud over the sun. “After seeing a battlefield such as the one at Fort Donelson, I can’t believe it’s possible to deliver a correct account of the men.”
They stopped where the path forked. One trail led down to the river and the other up to the house. Olivia said, “Go see to the Awl; I’ll help Sadie prepare for Sunday dinner. I understand Beth has invited her young man.”
“Such a child,” Alex muttered. “How can she be considering marriage to that fellow?”
“But Alex, she’s as old as I was when we were married.” She laughed up at him. “We’ve been married nearly four years; have I aged that much?”
“No, but you’ve mellowed considerably!” he teased. He cupped her face in his hands and whispered, “Olivia, what would I do without you? How I thank the Lord for you.”
The smile disappeared from her face. “Even when I can’t give you the child you want?”
“I don’t want a child nearly as much as I want you. Please don’t feel as if you’ve failed me.” He wiped the tears from her eyes and kissed her tenderly. “You are my only love, my only sweetheart.”
“Alex, let me go before the neighbors see!”
****
Beth dropped the corner of the curtain and turned away from the window with a sigh. Sadie looked up from the dungarees she was mending. “What is thy trouble, Beth?”
“I was just thinking, maybe I don’t really understand what love is.”
“If that’s the case, thou had better put aside any talk about getting married until thou dost. Afterwards, it’s too late to change matters.” She bit the words off, pausing to snip at the thread on the dungarees. Snapping the scissors together, she added, “Some people are constituted to learn to be loving, and others would rather run than settle with what they’ve bought into. Now, take that little miss down at the schoolhouse. She’s the type to settle in and be grateful for any kind of a man.”
Beth snorted. “And you’re saying I’m not? Well, Mrs. Cooper, I’m inclined to agree.” She eyed Sadie curiously. “What kind are you?”
Beth watched Sadie’s eyes dance as she chuckled and said, “I’d sooner be not married than to be saddled with a man I didn’t love.” Hastily she added, “But I knew long before I settled for Amos that we’d be happy.”
“Funny,” Beth said slowly, “I don’t think of older people caring much about love. Seems after the children come along most people hardly pass the time of day with their spouse.” She hesitated, picked at a stray thread on the rug, and then sat down beside Sadie. “To tell the truth, I can’t imagine the people at meeting even knowing what love is all about. Take Mattie and Jake Thomas. She’s so fat, and he doesn’t look like he could keep his feet under him in a windstorm.”
Sadie slanted a glance at Beth. “Well, they have a houseful of nice tykes. Thou couldn’t do better than to follow her—in behavior more than eating patterns. The mister doesn’t look like much, but I’ve caught him patting her hand on the sly, and it didn’t seem to me that she minded too much. Might do thee good to go talk to her.”
****
During the night Olivia turned and reached for Alex. The cold sheet under her hand brought her bolt upright in bed. Moonlight outlined him against the window. Olivia sank back against the pillows and pressed her hand to her racing heart. Finally she asked, “Can’t sleep?”
He turned. “Did I disturb you?”
“No, I missed you.” She slipped out of bed, reaching for her shawl. Shivering, she went to stand beside him.
“Olivia, you’ll catch cold.” She shook her head. Impatiently he said, “Then come, let me hold you in the rocking chair.”
“Alex, what is it? Since we’ve been back, it seems you toss and turn most nights. Are you thinking of the battle at Donelson?”
“Partly,” he murmured, snuggling her into his arms. “Your feet are icy.”
Hesitantly Olivia said, “There’s much you can do to help without going into battle yourself. Sadie told us about the Sanitary Commission, how the nurses and doctors work on the fields to care for the wounded, and of the hospitals they’ve organized. There are also factories and foundries needing manpower.” He didn’t answer. Desperately she said, “Alex, you know I’ll go anywhere you say. And I want you to do what you feel is necessary.”
Slowly he said, “It’s the burden of war. By helping slaves escape, I’ve done my share toward making it a necessity. I guess I’ve just begun to see the enormity of it all.”
“Do you mean you’d never have become involved with the slaves if you’d been able to have seen the consequences?”
He hesitated. “When you put it that way,” he mused, “the idea seems ridiculous. The job needed to be done, without a doubt.”
Olivia sighed, moved her cheek to rest against his, and admitted, “I’ve thought of it all, too. Wandered down a hundred paths, wondering what avenue we should have taken instead of just simply secreting the people out of the South. I know we saved lives, but now we face this terrible war. What do we do? Alex, I really do feel horribly responsible. But fighting doesn’t seem to be the answer. Why can’t people resolve these situations without bloodshed?”
He shook his head. “We’ve all gone over this a hundred times. I suppose the closer one lives to God, the more horrible the consequences of war seem. Especially when we don’t know whether or not these men know Christ as Redeemer.”
He paused, thinking. “Olivia, I can only take courage from some remarks General Grant made. In Tennessee he said that he believed one more big Union victory would give us the war. I believe the man; I think he knows what he’s doing. God knows we can’t take much more of this. Acres of dead or dying men can’t support a war, and that’s what we’re seeing.”
****
The next evening when Beth walked into the barn, the packed earth floor had been swept smooth. Benches lined the walls, and wagons were loaded with barrels of cider and baskets of pastries. “Roald, it really looks like a dance hall, all cleared of hay and tackle.”
He chuckled. “A barn party!” He looked down at her. “I understand it was to have been on the common, but because of rain—”
“They moved it inside.” Beth looked up at him. “Oh, Roald, I can’t forget all the frightening news,” she whispered, clutching his arm. “I keep wondering how much longer I’ll be seeing you. Some of the fellows who were at the last frolic are—” She gulped, unable to say the word.
“Beth, don’t think about it.” He bent close and she blinked tears from her eyes. “We have to snatch at life as we get it. As far as I know, I’ll be here training troops forever.” His smile teased her. “Unless you’re in mourning for those other fellows, come dance with me.”
She lifted her hands and smiled roguishly. “I love the uniforms; they make men out of country bumpkins.”
“So that is what you think I am,” he murmured in her ear. “Come into the tack room, and I’ll prove otherwise.”
She laughed and spun away from him. “No matter; right now it’s all exciting, and I can forget the war.”
For a moment he was serious, frowning down at her. “I can’t forget it for one moment. And Beth, when I hear you speak, I can’t forget we’re on opposite sides of the battle.”
“I’ve heard that several generals with Northern politics have married Southern women,” she taunte
d. “I wonder how they manage?”
“Are you suggesting it’s feasible?”
“Only that it’s happened to others.” He steered her toward the tack room. “Roald, please—someone will see us.”
“Does that matter?” He lifted her chin, kissed her quickly, and said, “Beth, you know that I’m terribly in danger of falling in love with you. What shall we do about it?”
“Roald—” She paused and smiled up at him. “I seriously think—”
“What?”
She patted his cheek and in a rush finished, “We should go have some cider.” She laughed as she whirled through the door.
“Beth, you are a tease,” Roald said over cups of cider. “I suspect that you’ve got forty beaus hiding in the bushes. I suppose there’s only one way to secure you for myself if I must march off to battle.”
“Since you won’t be marching anywhere except around Mr. Cassaway’s meadow, I suggest you don’t worry.” With a smile she walked back to the packed earth dance floor.
The cool March wind had become brisk by the time Roald took Beth home. The wind cut at the light buggy, making it sway on its high bed. Beth tightened her shawl around her shoulders and moved closer to Roald. “If this thing tips over, I shall land in the middle of you,” she said with a giggle.
“Then I suppose to be safe, I should tie it to the first tree I find.” Beth was silent, and Roald flicked the whip over the horse’s back. He glanced at her. “I’ll take the back road; it isn’t as windy.”
They were nearly to the Willows when Roald pulled the buggy into the shelter of the trees and stopped. “Beth, you tease until I never know just what you do think of me. Is there any possibility you’d give me a serious thought?”
“Most certainly, Roald. I give you much serious thought. I wonder if you’re happy, if you like being a soldier. I wonder what you really think of Southern girls, and I wonder—”
“Too much.” He tugged her hand and bent close in the moonlight. “Now, would you like to know what I’m thinking? Beth, I don’t want to obligate you with any promises, but when this war is over, I have some serious questions to ask.” She sighed, lifted her face, and let him kiss her.
