“Good morning sleepyhead,” Julian greeted me with a smirk.
My head snapped up. “Wait, what? It’s morning. I’ve been sleeping all night? What time is it?”
Julian’s chuckle was deep and sexy.
I tried pushing myself up, but my body felt like a wet noodle. He was able to keep me restrained with just his relaxed arm resting on me. And he was laughing too hard to answer my questions.
“Julian,” I whined with the knowledge that I didn’t think I could walk and rolling off of the couch in order to get up might have been my only option.
I looked at him, one hand over his eyes and his body quaking underneath mine. His amusement struck a chord in me and I started laughing along with him.
Five minutes later, we were smiling goofily at one another.
“What was so funny?” I asked, smiling up at him. I poked his chest playfully. “I think I passed out.”
“You did, but only for a few minutes. I twisted us around and had just gotten you settled onto my chest when you woke up.”
“So it’s been what? Five minutes?”
He chuckled again, nodding. “We actually spent more time laughing than you were actually out of it.”
Shaking my head, I groaned. “I could’ve sworn it was hours. I’ve never had that happen before. I’ve never experienced anything like that. That was…wow.”
Picking my hand up from his chest, Julian brought it to his lips. “I feel the exact same way.”
Butterflies fluttered in my belly as I lay naked on top of Julian Winters after what was absolutely the best sexual experience of my life.
This is the kind of sex that will ruin me for other men.
From the beginning to the end, I’d never been so fully and totally satisfied and well-fucked in my life.
“Um, it’s a little late for this, but I don’t have any STDs and I’m on birth control.”
He smiled, kissing the inside of my palm. “I also don’t have any STDs, but I’m sure they put that in the packet of information.”
I nodded and we both cracked up. I rested my head back on his chest.
“This is the craziest thing I’ve ever done,” I admitted, amusement tinging my words.
He was quiet for a moment as he stroked my hair. “The show or me.”
“Honestly, both. I’ve never had unprotected sex with anyone except for the ex I told you about. And that was after year three started. Not after day three. And then being on this show, being with you, it just…” My voice trailed off.
I felt a change in his breathing. He turned so that I slipped to the back of the couch, sandwiched between his body and the cushions behind me. His arm cradled my neck while the other one adjusted our newly intertwined legs. With one hand trapped between us, my free hand rested on the side of his naked body. His free hand lightly grazed the skin of my arm.
I watched his face as his eyes followed his hand en route to my shoulder. I could tell he was thinking.
His voice was lower, huskier. “It just what?”
Angling myself so that my lips touched his ear, I admitted softly, “It scares me.”
He turned his head, pressing his forehead against mine. Our noses touched and as we stared into each other’s eyes, I felt as though I was breathing in his essence. It was intoxicating being that intimate with him. He moved fractionally so that his mouth was up against mine. “You scare me.”
I kissed him tenderly before asking, “Why?”
“Because I knew it was a long shot for you to be here and stay here. You said up front that this wasn’t your scene. I believe you said something about competing for me.” He kissed me again for a longer period of time, causing my body to respond. “But let me tell you, there’s no competition, Zoe. There’s just you. There’s only you.”
I knew what he meant. I knew what he was saying to me. And in his arms, I believed him wholeheartedly. But a house full of women and a stack of reality television paperwork said otherwise. And as hard as I tried to get it out of my head, I heard Mya’s drunken voice tell me that the creator wasn’t going to let me win.
So where does that leave me?
I didn’t know what to say so I recited Drunk as Drunk by Pablo Neruda and then I kissed him. I put everything I felt, all of my emotions, into that kiss. In return, he kissed me in a way that caused a rattling in my chest.
After cleaning ourselves up, I pulled on my t-shirt and he pulled on his boxer briefs. For the next two hours, we talked about our pasts and our futures. We talked about places we wanted to go, trips we wanted to take, and things we wanted to do together. We spent more time talking than we did kissing, but we spent a significant time kissing.
I’d never been with anyone who made me feel beautiful from just a touch, just a look, just a kiss. At one point, he pulled me into his lap and held me, kissing me softly, stroking my hair, and I felt safe. I’d never felt as safe as I did in Julian’s arms.
“I love it out here. I can see why this is where you spend most of your time,” I murmured against his neck with a sigh. “But I should go.”
He held me tighter. “Or…or…you should stay. We should go in the house. We should climb in the bed.”
I giggled sleepily. “I wish. I have to get back in the house before they notice I’m missing.”
“Had I expected things to go down like this, I would’ve set this up in the house anyway.”
I lifted my head and put my hands on his face. “Tonight was magical.” I paused. “And I don’t say stuff like magical.”
He chuckled in a tired baritone before kissing me.
Julian insisted on walking me back through the garden so we strolled, hand-in-hand, with the stars shining over us. At the edge of the garden, I argued with him because he wanted to walk me all the way to the house and I thought it was too risky. Our goodbye was long and drawn out since we weren’t going to be able to see each other. He had to do press from the show and would be gone until Wednesday night. He promised to come to the house when he got back since the next group date wouldn’t be until Thursday and he couldn’t go that long without seeing me. I jogged back to The One headquarters on cloud nine.
I snuck into the mansion a little before five o’clock in the morning. Fortunately, I was able to get inside the house without being detected. Although it was really late…or really early, I heard voices somewhere within the house.
I froze.
Who the hell is up right now?
I tried to focus my breathing and slow my heart rate as I stood in the darkened hallway. I’d come too far to get caught. Taking measured steps, I moved down the hall toward the staircase. With my back against the wall, I knew that the foyer was the trickiest part of my escape and return because most rooms and hallways on the first floor seemed to converge at that point. As I prepared to make my move, crying caught my attention.
“Is that really what people are saying about me? Just based off of the interviews?” It sounded like Ana’s Romanian accented voice.
“Yes,” a masculine voice replied. “And we won’t know how it shakes out until this week gets going. It could go either way.”
“This is humiliating! I hate losing.” She whined. “I don’t understand. Leah talks the most shit when the cameras aren’t around. She’s the real mean girl. I don’t get it. How is she the frontrunner? I’m prettier than her!”
“You are. But when you have ten sexy women in the same place, you have to find other ways to stand out.”
“That’s what you told me on Friday so I’ve been doing what you said. You told me to stick with Tori because the mean girls always make good TV and get more screen time, so that’s what I did. Why do I have the lowest approval rating?”
“You don’t have the lowest approval rating.” He sounded exasperated.
“I wanted to tell Julian about my—“
“No,” he said, cutting her off mid-sentence. “Not right now. If you do, people will judge you and because you’re not ranking as high as I would’ve
hoped, that’s not going to help.”
Ana sighed, “I feel like I’m lying or I’m ashamed and I’m not either. I just wanted to wait until we at least had a few more conversations before I dropped it on him. He may not be ready for it.”
“You wanted me to help you win and that’s what I’m trying to do. I’m holding up my end of the bargain. I know you’re worried. But know that I’m as invested in you winning as you are so I’ve been pouring over the feedback to predict how this week will go.”
Ana giggled a little. “Well you do seem more motivated over the last few days.” I heard a smacking noise and I couldn’t quite figure out where it was coming. “How do you think this week will go?”
I’d heard enough. They seemed to be entrenched in conversation so I thought making my move would be in my best interests. I stretched my legs, taking long steps, to reach the staircase as quickly and as quietly as possible.
“Well, I’m not sure. On Thursday, the episode will air where you talked shit about Bailey and Zoe while they were out,” the man explained, causing me to freeze at the bottom of the steps at the mention of my name. “…and then when they got back, you played drinking games with Bailey. You’re going to look fake.”
“I like Bailey. And I don’t have an issue with Zoe. Tori does, not me! I was drunk and I said that stuff because someone asked me what I thought of them winning the date. And earlier, you told me to answer like I was Tori,” Ana whined.
I carefully creeped up the first couple of steps and then paused.
“I know. I didn’t realize Jamie was still going to be doing one-on-ones or I would’ve found you so we could’ve powwowed. But even then, I didn’t expect Bailey and Zoe to poll so high. But you have the chance to turn this around, Ana. That’s why I’m meeting with you in the middle of the night…so we can fix this.”
“Yeah, is that the reason why?” Ana’s voice got lighter.
I heard a smacking sound again. Wait, was that what I think it was?
“You said you’d fix this.” Her voice bordered on baby talk. “Please. I’ll do anything.”
The man seemed to turn into a political strategist in two point five seconds. “Well, the top three women in the house who are polling the best have one thing in common. They kept to themselves at the cocktail party interview. They come off as nice in their own ways and people like nice… at first. But nice is boring. You seemed to rub people the wrong way initially. Your first impression isn’t as strong, but you will grow on them.”
“What can I do?”
“Your panic attack stunt helped—that’ll buy you sympathy. Now you have to ramp it up a bit. You need to set yourself apart from Tori. You can’t afford to be in her shadow with your numbers so close.”
“What do you mean?”
“You’re going to have to make her your bitch.”
I took the steps slowly, trying to balance my weight on the balls of my feet. I continued that method, only stopping once more when an interesting bit of information was revealed.
“Tori?” Ana hissed. “If Leah is winning the popularity contest, and Bailey and Zoe are second and third, why would I worry about Tori if she’s in the middle with me?”
“Leah is so far ahead, based on the numbers, that Robert Brady is already declaring that she will be who Julian ends up with. He’s already working up storylines that will push the two of them together. I am trying to help you turn the tide so that you—
I didn’t linger around to hear the rest. I had made it to the top of the staircase and I was exhausted. I glanced at Mya who was snoring drunkenly on my way to the closet. My mind revisited what I’d learned as I changed my clothes. Climbing into bed, I let what Mya said earlier and what Ana’s producer had just told her enter my thoughts.
Julian and Leah?
I pushed the thought out of my head as I felt my body drifting off to sleep before my mind. With my eyes closed, I pushed out Leah and the other women, the show, the fear, the doubt, the negativity.
I will not focus on anything, but what I feel. Everything else is just noise. The creator wanting to push Julian and Leah together will not overshadow Julian telling me he wants me.
I replayed my time with Julian from beginning to end. I felt warm all over just thinking about it. The five hour stretch that I spent with Julian was the best I’d ever had and it wasn’t just the fact that he put together a candlelit dinner. It wasn’t just the fact that he communicated with me and compelled me to share myself with him. It wasn’t just the fact that we could laugh and play together. It wasn’t just the fact that his dick was exquisite and our bodies worked well together. Although those were all great things, it was the best night of my life because Julian Winters made me feel something I’d never felt before.
The sound of my heart started lulling me to sleep and I didn’t have the strength or energy to push out the thoughts that creeped in.
You’re falling for him.
Even if I wouldn’t verbalize it, even if I had the willpower to deny it in the morning, that night, somewhere between midnight and five o’clock in the morning, Julian Winters made me fall for him.
*****
Chapter 13
Tuesday, I slept in. Mya wasn’t feeling well so we both spent most of the day in bed. She slept while I alternated between daydreaming about Julian and reading my Pablo Neruda book of poetry. Even when we left the bedroom to eat, we didn’t really run into anyone. To us, it was an uneventful, boring day.
Wednesday, Mya and I decided to venture out. We’d learned that we were dead wrong about Tuesday being uneventful and boring. Because apparently, on Tuesday while we slept, shit went down.
Eating burgers and fries for lunch, Mya and I sat at the kitchen table discussing politics when a camera crew strolled in.
“Ladies, would you mind talking about something a little more…interesting?” A producer asked as soon as they heard our topic of choice.
“And what would be more interesting?” I returned, my eyebrow quirked in annoyance.
“Boys?” Mya remarked sarcastically.
I laughed before popping a fry into my mouth.
In an effort to dumb us down as a collective whole, they made a habit of telling us to converse about Julian or the other women in the house. We were urged to not talk about substantial things because it was deemed boring. And although they didn’t blatantly encourage us to drink, we were offered drinks with every meal. And with nothing else to do in the house and an endless supply of self-serve alcohol, a lot of the women drank heavily. I suspected the endless supply of alcohol was to make us more emotional, more volatile, and less prone to an intelligent conversation.
Which is why I stuck with bottled water most of the time.
As Mya and I ignored the cameras and continued our conversation, Leah strolled into the room. She didn’t speak and neither did we. The producer’s smile widened as he signaled to the younger guy with a clipboard. The camera swung around and focused on Leah.
My mind instantly went back to the conversation Ana was having when I snuck in. The early feedback rooted for Leah. I wasn’t the jealous type. I could admit that she was gorgeous—her hair was thick and wavy, her skin was blemish free, and although her sense of style was a bit boring and traditional, she knew how to work her assets.
Wearing short shorts that showed off her long, toned legs, Leah smiled at the camera and gushed about Julian.
I wonder if whoever her handler is told her she was the front runner.
“What are your thoughts about what happened with Tori and Ana yesterday?” The producer questioned Leah.
“I thought it was sad that two people who had become such good friends had a big blow up like that. Ana instigated it, but Tori took it too far. I just don’t see Julian wanting to be with the type of women who would be so trashy.”
I looked at Mya and she appeared just as stunned as I felt.
The camera crew followed Leah and her short shorts out of the kitchen and into another room.
Once the coast was clear, Mya speculated about what could’ve happened. My gut told me that it had something to do with the conversation I overheard. But if I shared that information, I would’ve had to explain why I was lurking in the shadows at five o’clock in the morning. So I remained quiet.
The Ana versus Tori debacle was the only thing anyone talked about on Wednesday until we were all prepped and told that Julian was stopping by for an hour. We were given an hour to get ready and told to look very casual as if we were lounging around.
Clearly that means leggings.
After dressing and preparing for his visit, we were pushed into the living room and forced to answer questions as a group.
“What do you think Julian is looking for in a woman?”
“What do you think you have in common with Julian?”
“Would you move to California to be with Julian?”
“If you had to choose someone, outside of yourself, to be with Julian, who would you choose?”
“Can you see yourself falling in love with Julian?”
The questions mixed with the alcohol and as the questions progressed, the answers became more emotional. With each refreshed glass, the women became more talkative and more open. I drank my bottled water and remained quiet. As long as they were getting the content they needed from other contestants, they didn’t notice that I wasn’t participating.
“I have a surprise for you,” Bryce Wilson addressed us, rounding a corner into the living room, catching everyone by surprise. Robert Brady also entered the set, but he remained off camera. “Julian is going to be here a little later. But since you’re all gathered here now, I’d like you to meet someone who can maybe give you some insight into Julian Winters.”
We all exchanged looks, but waited with expectation for more information. Bryce flashed a smile to the camera and waited a moment, presumably they’d edit in a commercial break.
Clapping his hands together, Bryce cast his gaze over us. “I’d like to introduce you to Lillian Pierce, Julian’s ex-girlfriend.”
The One Page 19
