Holding You

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Holding You Page 13

by Kelly Elliott


  Pulling my books closer to my chest, I smiled.

  “Oh dear lord, you’re thinking about Mathews aren’t you?”

  Chuckling, I asked, “How did you know?”

  Grace reached out and gave me a playful push, causing me to stumble a few steps. “It’s all over your damn face. What, did you have hot sex last night or something?”

  There was no way I could hide the happiness I felt. “Sex with Colt is hot every time.”

  “Ugh. Gag me, Lauren.”

  Laughing, I laced my arm around hers. “I can’t wait to get home. I’m so over school.”

  Grace waved to some guy who walked by and said hello to her. “Me too. I just want to dig in the garden with Grams and not have to worry about anything.”

  Grace and Alex were both going to school for Horticulture. They loved getting their hands into Grams garden. Me? I enjoyed gardening, but I preferred to be with the horses. This summer Daddy was going to train me on the books and I was beyond thrilled to be able to gain knowledge on a piece of his business. But I wanted to gain more on the horse side of the business. Daddy even had a few trips planned to take a look at some horses and Colt and I were both going. Smiling slightly, I couldn’t believe how threatened I was before about Colt working for my father.

  Grace and I walked back to the house instead of taking the bus. It had felt good to get fresh air and just talk about stuff. Colt only had one final left, while Grace, Alex, Will and I all had two left. Once we all finished with our finals, we would be heading back to Mason. Will and Colt had been packing up stuff and getting the house ready to lock up for the summer. Colt would be coming back for football early and I was trying to figure out a way to let my parents know I’d be heading back early with him. They were not going to be happy about that. Colt was the first really serious relationship I was in. Roger was just . . . fun times. We hung out, the kissing got hot and heavy a few times, but my mind wasn’t consumed with him twenty-four hours a day like it was with Colt.

  “Besides the hot sex, things seem to be going good between you and Colt,” Grace said as we walked up the driveway to the house.

  “Amazing. Perfect. Amazing.”

  Grace laughed. “That bad huh?”

  Stopping, I turned to Grace as she stopped and stared at me with a goofy smile. “Grace, sometimes . . . well sometimes I feel like I’m living this dream and I’m so scared that I’m going to wake up.” Glancing down, I shook my head before looking back up at Grace. “I pushed Colt away for so long, fought feelings that I had just because of my pride. I guess I’m just scared that this is to good to be true. Like I’m waiting for the floor to be ripped out from underneath me.”

  Grace reached out and took my hand as she rubbed her thumb back and forth. “Lauren, what you and Colt share is amazing. The fact that three of my very best friends have found this amazing love makes me so happy for y’all. Honey, you can’t keep worrying about the what-ifs. Look at Will and Alex. Luke and Libby. They are so in love and happy. Sweetie, if it’s meant to be it will be. Enjoy every single day together, Lauren. Each day is a gift so don’t ever take it for granted or think you can put something off until tomorrow because you might not get the chance.”

  A breeze blew as I watched it toss Grace’s long hair around. Why hadn’t Grace, Maegan, and Taylor been as lucky as the rest of us? Grace and Maegan were both battling demons they both insisted on fighting alone, and Taylor was so caught up in being the perfect student for her parents, she wasn’t enjoying her life.

  “Thank you, Grace. I really hope that your time is coming next. You deserve to be in love and happy. To find the frosting to your cake!”

  Grace laughed as she rolled her eyes. “You and your damn sayings, Lauren.”

  As we walked back to the house I finally got the courage to talk to Grace about Noah. “Grace, may I ask you something personal?”

  “Of course you can, Lauren.”

  Worrying my lower lip, I asked, “Grace, why did you push Noah away? Alex and Libby said you seemed to really like him a lot.”

  Grace’s whole body tensed as we continued to walk. “I do really like Noah. Or did like him anyway. He’s married now, so it doesn’t really matter.”

  Knowing Grace needed to talk about this, I pressed on. “But that doesn’t answer why you pushed him away.”

  Grace chuckled. “It’s pretty simple. I was scared of my feelings. That seems to be a common thing in our little group.”

  Nodding my head, I whispered, “Yeah, it sure is.”

  Grace pushed her hair behind her ear as she inhaled a deep breath and slowly let it out. “When I was in high school I let a guy have almost complete control over me, Lauren. I vowed to never let that happen again. Actually, I vowed to never get lost in another guy again. One night with Noah and I was completely and utterly lost. He brought out feelings in me that I had never experienced before. The way he looked into my eyes was as if I was the very air he breathed. It felt like it was too much too fast. If that makes sense.”

  Smiling, I said, “That’s how Colt looks at me.”

  Grace glanced over to me with a weak smile. “He does look at you like that. And my brother looks at Libby like that, and Will does the same with Alex.”

  “And that scared you, Grace?”

  Nodding her head, her face looked distraught. “Yeah, it scared the piss out of me, because I knew I was looking at him the same way. The last thing I wanted to do was open my heart up again. What if Noah ended up breaking it? I’m not sure I could have survived it.”

  The wind was picking up and the temperature was dropping. Grace and I both picked up our speed. A cold front had been about to blow through. Glancing back over my shoulder to the north, I saw the storm clouds building. I swear the weather in Texas could change faster than Grace could get to a sale at Nordstroms.

  “We better hustle and get home before we get drenched,” Grace said as she attempted to give me a reassuring smile.

  It started sprinkling, so Grace and I started running. We were only two houses down from our place. As we ran up to the front porch, we both started laughing. “We made it!” Grace said just as it began pouring.

  Before we walked into the house, I took Grace by the arm and asked, “Do you regret pushing him away, Grace?”

  Tears formed in her eyes as she closed them. Opening her eyes, she slowly nodded her head. “Every single moment of every single day I regret not taking that last phone call from him. I’ll never know what he was going to say.” Letting out a fake laugh, Grace looked into my eyes. “I know I need to move on. My heart won’t let me though.”

  Pulling Grace into my arms, I held her as she cried. It was the first time in my life I’d ever seen Grace Johnson cry.

  LEANING MY HEAD back, I let the warm sun beat down on my face. A light breeze was blowing, giving just enough relief from the hot sun. We had been out of school for two weeks and summer was already heating up.

  Taylor let out a frustrated moan. “Sometimes I swear, I want to move to Montana.”

  Grace sat up and looked at Taylor. “Tay, that’s a great idea!”

  Looking toward Grace, Taylor asked, “What’s a great idea?”

  Grace jumped up. “Oh my gosh! A road trip! We should totally go on a road trip.”

  Pulling my head back, I looked at Taylor and then Grace. “To where?”

  Rolling her eyes, Grace laughed. “To Montana! We should go to Montana.”

  Taylor and I both busted out laughing as I shook my head while I dropped it back down.

  “You’re crazy, Grace.”

  Grace kicked my foot as I snapped my head back to her. “Hey!”

  “Come on y’all! How much fun would it be if we all went on a road trip?”

  “What about Libby? She won’t leave the baby.”

  Panic set in as I thought about Colt. “What about Colt! I can’t leave Colt.”

  “Oh Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. You can go a week or two without seeing Colt.”

&n
bsp; My eyes widened. “Two weeks!”

  Grace slapped her hands together and started back to her horse. “Come on, let’s head back. I’m calling an emergency meeting at Lib’s. Get on your horses, bitches.”

  Standing, both Taylor and I looked at each other. The idea of going on a road trip with all the girls sounded like fun. But could I leave Colt for that long? Yes. Of course I could. I was a strong independent woman. This would be good for us.

  As I climbed onto my horse, I actually got excited about this idea. I just had to worry about what Colt thought about the idea. Or worse yet . . . my parents.

  TWO HOURS LATER we were all walking into Libby and Luke’s house. The race to get to Mireya was a close one, but Taylor won out. Bitch. She was like a racehorse when it came to moving quickly.

  Sticking my tongue out at Taylor, she chuckled as she settled onto the floor with the baby.

  “So what’s the big emergency meeting, Grace?” Alex asked as she flopped onto the couch next to Libby. Maegan sat next to Taylor as they both began trying to make Mireya laugh.

  Looking around Libby’s house I couldn’t help but smile. Luke and Libby had settled into family life perfectly. Glancing over to Libby her face glowed with a sense of contentment. Since we had been home from school I’d been dreaming of me and Colt and us married and in our own little house.

  Alex pulled me out of my thoughts as she stood up. “Are we here to talk about the wedding?”

  Smiling, Grace shook her head. “No, Alex. We are not here to talk about your wedding.”

  Jutting her lower lip in a pout, we all laughed as Alex fell back onto the couch.

  Before my mind could drift off to the idea of marrying Colt, Grace slapped her hands together, startling not only me, but also Mireya. She had started crying when Taylor scooped her up and began dancing around the room with her, instantly making her laugh.

  “Shit, sorry about that, Lib.” Libby smiled and motioned for Grace to go on. “Now that Tay has Mireya all settled, we are here to talk about our girls’ trip.”

  Alex, Libby, and Maegan all wore confused expressions on their faces. “Girls’ trip? What girls’ trip?” Alex asked.

  Taylor let out a chuckle. “The girls’ trip to Montana that Grace is planning.”

  Libby busted out laughing. “When did this come about?”

  Grace placed her hands on her hips and looked around the room to each of us. “It came about this morning. Just think how fun it would be if we all drove up to Montana.”

  “Um . . . Grace, I have a slight problem with that. I have a seven-month-old baby. I can’t go to Montana.”

  Grace pressed her lips together tightly. “Is it the distance? Too far?”

  Libby offered Grace a bemused smile. “You could say.”

  Grace narrowed her left eye as if she was devising a new plan. “Okay, I’ll give you that Montana could be a bit far to go with a baby. How about Colorado?”

  Maegan perked up. “Durango? I’ve always wanted to go to Durango!”

  The air in the room quickly changed to excitement. “How far is the drive?” Libby asked, clearly thinking more seriously about this.

  Grace pulled out her phone. Asking into her phone for directions from Mason to Durango, it came back with thirteen hours. Libby chewed on her lower lip. “I don’t know, Grace. Luke isn’t gonna go for it.”

  “Go for what?” Everyone turned and looked at Luke. He was covered in sweat as he took a long drink of water. Peeking over to Libby, I attempted to hold back my smile. She was looking at him like she wanted to pounce on him. He was for sure the salt to her nuts.

  Standing, Libby made her way over to Luke and gently kissed him. “You look hot.”

  Luke smiled and I found myself looking away. Turning back I let out a gasp when I saw Colt standing there. He was wearing a white T-shirt that was soaking wet from sweat. It clung to his body, showing off the muscles he earned while doing work around his daddy’s ranch. Will walked up to Alex and went to kiss her as she laughed and pushed him away. “Gross, Will. You are covered in sweat!”

  Glancing back to Colt, I smiled. Winking he took a drink of water. Sighing, I wondered how in the world he made getting a drink look so damn sexy. My eyes traveled all over his body as a shiver ran across my skin. Colt never took his eyes off of me while he finished off his water. Setting the glass down in the sink he tilted his head and slowly flashed that smile of his. God help me to control myself because right now I couldn’t care less who was in the room. I wanted Colt’s hands on my body.

  “Hey big brother! I’m trying to talk the girls into a girls’ trip.”

  Luke, Colt, and Will all looked at Grace. She looked between each of them and laughed. “Holy hell. You’d think I just told the three of you that you were never going to have sex again. I’m just asking for five days with my girls. Five damn days of not having to stand here and watch the love fest between y’all.”

  “Amen!” Taylor and Maegan both said at once.

  “Five days of just girl fun. Maybe a little responsible drinking, hiking, river rafting.”

  Libby’s mouth dropped open. “Wait! I can’t do any of that if I have the baby.”

  “Wait. What? You want to bring the baby, Libby?” Luke asked in a shocked voice.

  Shrugging her shoulders she raised her eyebrows. “Well, you work every day so what else would I do with her?”

  Will held up his hand, “Hold on. When and where?”

  Grace smiled. “Durango and as soon as we can book the hotel we can leave!”

  Colt’s eyes were locked onto mine. I couldn’t tell what he was thinking. A part of me really wanted to go on this girls’ weekend, even though I’d miss Colt something fierce. What if he said no? The idea of Colt saying no had me getting upset. I was still my own person, and if I wanted to go on a trip. I’d go on a trip.

  Motioning with his finger for me to come to him, I headed his way. Stopping just short of him he placed his hand on the side of my face. “I want to hold you in my arms but I’m sweaty.”

  His eyes burned with love as he gazed upon my face. “Kiss me then,” I whispered.

  Leaning down he did just that. Gently placing his lips on mine, he kissed me softly. Colt’s kisses were like the sweetest candy I’d ever tasted. They were addictive and I craved them always.

  “Ugh, see what I mean. Love fest example number one from Colt and Lauren.”

  Smiling against my lips, Colt whispered, “I’m going to miss you.”

  Sucking in a breath of air, I instantly felt relief wash over my body. “You wouldn’t mind?” I asked as I searched his baby blues.

  Smiling bigger he shook his head. “Of course not, Lauren. I think it would be fun. I’ll worry about you and the girls but I certainly don’t mind.”

  I threw myself into his sweat soaked body as he laughed and wrapped his arms around me.

  “Lib, baby you don’t have to take Mireya. I’m sure between my folks and yours, they would love to spend more time with her.”

  Dropping my arms from Colt, I spun around. Libby was grinning at Luke as tears filled her eyes. “You wouldn’t have a problem with it?” Luke shook his head. “Of course not baby.” Libby turned and looked at Taylor who was still dancing around as Mireya giggled. “I mean, I’m not sure how I’ll do leaving her for so many days but it sure would be nice to get away for a few days.”

  Luke walked up to Libby and placed his finger on her chin and pulled her face back to him. “You deserve a break.”

  Grace started jumping. “Okay, so I’m going to guess by Lauren jumping into Colt’s disgusting sweat-covered arms, he is down for this trip.” Glancing at Colt and I, I nodded my head enthusiastically. Grace jumped for joy and that caused me to jump for joy. Turning her attention to Will, Grace raised an eyebrow. “William?”

  Alex started laughing. Will reached down and kissed Alex again. “Of course I don’t mind. That’s not saying I’m not going to be worried. I want y’all to be careful. Like no
driving at night and all of that.”

  “I agree with, Will.” Luke said.

  Colt wrapped his arms around me as I felt a sense of warmth invade my body.

  “Same here,” Colt said.

  Grace beamed with a sense of accomplishment. “Then it’s settled bitches. We’re going on a girls’ trip!”

  Grace and Maegan grabbed hands and jumped around as Taylor bounced Mireya all over as she said, “Yay! Girls’ trip!”

  As I looked around the room at my friends I was overcome with happiness. Everything just seemed to be falling into place. Peeking over my shoulder to Colt who was still holding me, my body shook. I had a feeling things weren’t always going to be so smooth. Looking back ahead I tried to smile as I attempted to push the uneasy feeling that overtook my happiness.

  WALKING DOWN THE stairs, I headed to the front door. “Hey, where are you going?” Stopping, I peeked into the living room. My mother and father were both sitting on the couch watching a movie. Heading over to them, I couldn’t help but smile when I noticed they were holding hands.

  “I’m headed to go pick up Lauren. We’re gonna spend some time together before the girls leave tomorrow for Colorado.”

  My mother glanced down to the bag I was carrying. Motioning with her head, she asked, “What’s in the bag?”

  Smiling, I opened it slightly. “Let’s see, a blanket, a gift, and an iPod filled with Lauren’s favorite songs. Oh and a small speaker to hook the iPod up to.”

  “Do you mind if I ask what the gift is?” my mother asked with a sweet smile.

  Shaking my head I said, “Of course not. It’s an Alex and Ani bracelet that I’m going to give Lauren. It is a heart with a keyhole in it. You know, since she holds the key to my heart and all.”

  “And what do you need the blanket for?” my father asked.

  “To watch the stars.”

  Both my parents looked at me with raised eyebrows. “Watching the stars, huh?” They both asked at once.

  “Yeah, I’m taking Lauren somewhere special after dinner to look at the stars. Then I’ll give her the bracelet.”

  My mother smiled and said, “Awe! How romantic, Colt!” Turning to my father, she nudged him with her shoulder. “Sounds so familiar. Like father, like son.”

 

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