We still have some healing to do after the rift of the way things almost ended in Germany, but I know we’ll make it. I know this time, nothing will come between us.
23
Epilogue - Chris
Two Years Later
The sound of the woods on the mountainside are so familiar to me now. I left behind the mansions and the lifestyle that came with my money so long ago that it’s almost hard to remember anything else. We have our quiet life on our mountain. Me, Lindsey, and Bear.
I’m by myself right now, but I usually am early in the morning like this. I like to get up before Lindsey and Bear do. I walk out here to my parents’ graves and I just sit with them while the sun rises and the woods wake up. I don’t often talk to them, but today, I feel like I have to say something, so I came out extra early while the morning air still has a bite of cold to it.
I lean against the tree nearest their graves, forearms resting on my knees. “You know,” I say. “I thought when I wrote a real book that mattered, I was doing some kind of honor to your memories. I thought about you, mom, holding me when I was a baby and stroking my forehead, dreaming about my future and the great things I could do. I felt like I’d finally validated you somehow.
“I realize the book wasn’t it, though. I did something bigger, something you’d be more proud of. I found Lindsey. We’ve made it work. We have a son. The book is nice, but I know now you’d be more proud of the other stuff. Hell, I know I am. Oh, and Lydia and I are finally getting along. I figured you’d appreciate that.”
I stand, dusting off my pants and heading back to the cabin. There’s a stronger sense of peace than I’ve ever felt settling down into my chest as I make the short walk back.
I let myself back into the cabin quietly. We’ve renovated some. I may be into the quaint lifestyle, but it doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy the millions and millions I have collecting dust a little bit. I find Lindsey still sleeping on my side of the bed. I quickly learned that if I get out of bed, it only takes her a few minutes to migrate to my side. I asked her about it one day, and she admitted that she misses my smell, and she says my side smells like me. The funny part is she makes her way over there even if she’s dead asleep.
I slide into bed behind her, wrapping my arms around her small frame and kissing the nape of her neck.
She stirs awake, turning to smile sleepily at me. “Morning, baby,” she says. She raises an eyebrow when she feels me press myself against her backside, pinning my erection against her. “Oh,” she says suddenly. “Morning wood.”
I roll her to face me, looking into her hazel eyes. “I want to try for another baby,” I say.
She raises an eyebrow. “Well, you certainly brought the right tool for the job.”
I chuckle. “Is that a yes?”
She kisses me, pulling back and chewing on her lip in that sexy way she always does. “Of course. Kids are expensive though. That’s more diapers. Wipes. More baby clothes…”
I can’t help but smile at her frugal nature. That’s such a Lindsey thing to worry about and completely adorable. One day she’ll get used to having unlimited funds for her needs… until then I’ll just keep spoiling her.
“I think we’ll manage,” I say, pushing her down to her back and climbing on top of her. “Now let’s make another baby before our little Bear wakes up.”
“You know it usually takes more than one try, right?”
“I’m hoping it does.”
24
Bonus Book: Dark
Thank you so much for reading Savage! I’ve included two bonus books that I think you’ll enjoy if you enjoyed Savage.
She had my baby and now she’s mine.
Women know I’m a bad boy. They know that they should keep their distance, but they never do. All they ever get is one night. The dirtiest, wildest, hottest night of their lives.
Court appointed shrink Dr. Julia Connors shouldn’t have been any different. She shouldn’t have changed me. But she did.
She asked me to tell her how I felt. All I wanted to do was lay her down on that couch and make her scream my name.
She was the only one I ever wanted a second night with. She was the only one I couldn’t take it from. And when old rivalries flared, I had to leave to keep her safe…I had to break her heart.
When my enemies find her, nothing’s going to stop me from coming back to protect her and the son I never knew I had.
I made a mistake by letting her go once, but I never make the same mistake twice.
25
Julia
I lean back in my office chair, looking at the wall where my credentials are on display. Julia Connors, PhD. Psychologist. I still remember hanging it proudly on the wall a year ago, thinking how my life was finally about to change for the better. I’d be able to buy a cocktail or go out to dinner with my friends once in awhile without feeling like I was breaking the bank. That was true for a while, at least, until I got the news about my mom.
I look at her smiling face on my desk and already feel tears pricking at my eyes. For as long as I’ve known her, she has been like a rock in my life, the one steady thing that I could always go back to and get my footing. Cancer? It still doesn’t seem real. My training kicks in against my will: Denial, the first stage of grief according to the Kübler-Ross model. I shake my head in frustration, wiping away tears and feeling like the one who should be sitting on the couch while someone else doodles on a legal pad and pretends to listen. You’re losing it, Julia.
I check my schedule for the day and wince. It’s 9:57 a.m. already? My 10:00 is a parolee named James Delany. I specialize in abnormal personality disorders, which my boss, Ted, knows perfectly well, but he insists on scheduling these parole cases with me. There are two general types of clients I deal with on a regular basis. The legitimate patients who need my help, and the criminals who are forced to come see me as part of their parole. They’re easily the worst. They’re usually belligerent, rude, and often want to be anywhere but in my office. It’s more a test of patience, but as Ted says, they help keep the lights on. If he really wanted to keep the lights on, he would work more than three days a week.
I mentally brace myself, remembering to project calm. Project confidence. One of the first steps to establishing an effective patient-therapist relationship is in the first impression. There’s a knock at my door. Ted refuses to pay for a secretary, so the patients just knock or sometimes barge in, interrupting sessions if they come too early. I move to the door and open it. A rail-thin man with tattoos on his face and neck walks in, scratching his forearm. Substance abuse and dependence. He glances around the room, shuffling his feet as he moves toward the couch and then hesitates. He finds the chair furthest from my desk and sits. Anxiety. Sits near the closest exit. Possible paranoia.
“You’re the shrink?” he asks.
With an effort, I smile. “Yes. You could say that.”
26
Leo
I sit in the waiting room, already feeling pissed off at this waste of time. It’s my first day out of prison and the fucking judge makes me go to therapy. Apparently, shooting and killing someone inside a crowded restaurant means I have anger issues. Bullshit. I’d have stupid issues if I didn’t shoot someone who pulled a gun on me.
I make a mental effort to get my mind out of the past. I’m out now. It’s behind me. One year of my life for carrying an unlicensed firearm and probation. Considering I planned on killing the guy before he ever pulled the gun on me, it could have been a lot worse. I guess I’m lucky the Bianchis were willing to bribe whoever they did to get me out so soon, but it feels like a deal with the devil. They probably think they have me bought and paid for now, but they are idiots if they really believe that. I’m Leo fucking Citrione. No one buys me and no one owns me. Anyone who says otherwise can happily test me on it. My only loyalty is to my family. That’s it. I watch out for my little brother, Angelo, which is what got me in prison in the first place, and I give respect to my cousins, Vin
ce and Damian, up in New York.
Maybe the Bianchis were in such a rush to get me out because they were afraid I’d talk to the cops. But I don’t beg. I did my time quietly. The cops tried to offer me deals and get me to rat out associates. They got nothing from me, just like this therapist isn’t going to get shit out of me. The judge said I had to come here, but he didn’t say I had to talk.
I’m the only one in the waiting room until a young guy in slacks and a dress shirt comes in. He lifts his sunglasses and rests them in his hair, putting his hands on his hips and glaring around the waiting room, as if something is pissing him off. A few seconds later, a very thin guy with tattoos rushes through the waiting room and leaves. I check the time, 10:27 a.m., time to meet my therapist.
When I stand, the young guy in the slacks turns his head to look at me. “Who is your appointment with?” he asks.
I ignore him, bumping him with my shoulder as I pass into the hallway lined with offices.
“Excuse me,” says the guy. It’s immediately obvious that he isn’t used to being ignored. He has the bearing of a guy who comes from privilege and isn’t used to being blown off. “I own this building. You can’t just ignore me! Sir!”
I don’t turn to face him, but I stop in the hallway, hand bunching into a fist that begs to break something. I turn my head, just slightly so I can see him from the corner of my eye.
“I was asking you…” he starts, but trails off when he meets my eye.
I guess he sees something he doesn’t like, because he takes a step back. Maybe he’s not as stupid as he looks.
“You done?” I ask. He’s smart enough to keep his mouth shut, which is good. The truth is I got a taste of prison, and I would rather stay out if I can help it. Punching rich pricks in a therapist’s offices is probably a real quick way to violate my probation and wind up back behind bars. I would still enjoy breaking his teeth if he wanted to try me.
I continue down the hall and find the door with “Dr. Connors” on the nameplate, yanking it open.
27
Julia
The door swings open. No knock, no quiet voice asking if it’s a good time. A shadow falls over the room. The man standing in the doorframe dominates the space like nothing I’ve ever seen or felt before. I would know he was in the room even if I was blindfolded. The air itself seems to charge with electricity, making the hairs on my arm stand on edge. The small voice in my head that normally diagnoses and evaluates people falls silent for the first time since I started graduate school. I listen for it, search for some way to understand this dark figure striding into the room and helping himself to the chair in front of my desk, but there’s nothing, just an empty void, like soundless night rushing into my ears.
His eyes haven’t left me since he entered, and I’m not sure if I’ve breathed. He has dark hair, dark eyes, and a few days worth of beard growth that only makes his perfect jawline even more defined. My throat is dry as I take him in bit by bit, marveling at how every last detail is perfect. He wears a black suit with a black undershirt and black slacks. He has his buttons undone enough to show the tattoos that cover his chest and just barely touch the base of his neck. I notice tattoos on his right hand and fingers as well.
“Aren’t you supposed to ask me questions?” he asks. His voice is deep and smooth. It makes me jump, realizing I’ve just been ogling him since he walked in.
“Y-yes. Let’s get started?” I ask, rather than say. Make statements, not questions. I take a deep breath, trying to recover some semblance of professionalism. Real great first impression.
He leans back in the chair like he owns the place, kicking his leg over his knee as he narrows his eyes at me. “It looked like you got started the moment you saw me.”
I blush. When have I ever blushed in this office? This is my space, where I’m in control. Yet here I am, blushing like a schoolgirl while this man devours me with those bedroom eyes. “It says here you have a history of violence, Mr. Citrione.” I say, looking down at his file, anywhere but into those eyes that are like burning coals, lighting a fire in my chest that snakes between my legs and makes me flush.
Wait… where have I heard that name before? I suddenly remember Damian Citrione, Callie’s husband. Holy shit. If this guy is even remotely related to Damian, he is bad news. Really bad news.
“You want to talk about history? I thought you were supposed to ask me how I feel.”
I purse my lips, getting a little irritated by his attitude. “I’m here for you. If you want to talk about how you feel, let’s talk about how you feel.”
“How about I tell you how I could make you feel?”
“Mr. Citrione—”
“Leo,” he interrupts.
“Leo...I need you to take this seriously if we’re going to make progress.” My voice sounds more firm than I feel. I make the mistake of meeting his eyes again and it’s doing all the wrong things to me.
He licks his lips with a slow seductiveness. I can’t seem to look away, like every motion is designed to draw me in, to lure me closer to him until he gets what he wants. He folds his hands in his lap and I notice how strong they are, how powerful. Jesus, why am I getting so turned on imagining those hands on my skin?
He stares at me unapologetically, eyes roaming my body, lingering on my breasts and mouth.
I feel my nostrils flare and my nose twitch. It’s a bad habit I have when I get angry, and I of all people should know not to telegraph my feelings. “What are you doing?” I snap.
“Taking you seriously.” The hint of a grin at the corner of his mouth puts me over the edge. He’s fucking with me.
I finally regain some sense of control, using my anger to force a calm face. I stare silently at him, using one of the oldest psychology tricks in the book. Sometimes silence is the best prompt, the best way to dig an answer from your patient.
Normally the silent treatment works within seconds. The patient first grows uncomfortable with the situation and then seeks to fill the silence, often choosing to speak about themselves, opening up the lines of communication.
Leo Citrione is different.
He is perfectly at ease in the silence, happy to sit and examine me with those eyes of his that are somehow both cold and full of heat at the same time. Well, if he wants to be Mr. Hardass, I can let him. He’s easy enough on the eyes that I’m perfectly content to just sit here and take him in. Although, I do wish I could stop my mind from wandering and flashing vivid images of his beautiful face between my legs, or from wondering how far down his body those tattoos go.
Despite knowing better, I give in and ask him another question. “Do you enjoy your work, Mr. Citrione?”
He smirks, as if he’s willing to play along with this charade, for now. Why do I feel like he’s the one in control? Like I’m the one lying on the couch while he dissects my mind piece by piece.
“I’m good at what I do.”
“That doesn’t answer my question. Do you enjoy it?”
He purses his lips in thought. “I enjoy being the best.”
“And what is it that you do, exactly?”
There’s laughter in his eyes as he answers. “I guess I’m a jack-of-all-trades, but you could call me a debt collector.”
“A debt collector?” I ask dryly.
He smirks. “Yeah.”
“How exactly does one excel at debt collecting?”
He leans back, planting his feet wide, looking perfectly at home. A tattooed finger taps on his knee as he raises an eyebrow. “By knowing how to read people.”
I shift uncomfortably. “Let’s talk about that. Do you ever feel you spend so much energy focused on reading others that you ignore your own feelings?”
“You could say that. For example, when I’m fucking a woman, I focus mostly on what they are feeling and on how I can get them to cum hardest.”
I swallow, feeling like my mouth is full of sawdust. I’ve never spoken to someone as intense as him. I trained extensively in interpreting b
ody language and sub-verbal cues, but the only thing I’m getting from him is pure confidence and desire, as if he wants to fuck me and he knows with bone-chilling certainty that he will. Every word feels like a flirtation, every gesture and sentence a seduction.
Be a fucking professional, Julia. Take control.
“If you used these powers of perception on yourself, what would you find?”
His air of confidence falters for a few seconds while he answers. His eyes trail down and his brows furrow slightly, as if he has never considered it. “I’d say I’m a man who lives in the darkness.” He pauses, eyes still distant. “And it gets darker every day.”
His words chill me. “Where does this darkness come from?”
The momentary vulnerability passes as quickly as it came, and his cocky smirk is back. “Why don’t you turn off the lights and I’ll tell you about it?”
“Mr. Citrione, if this is going to work, you’re going to have to stop making a mockery of our session.”
“No. If this is going to work, you’re going to have to let me relieve some of that sexual tension you’re carrying. I can practically hear your heart racing from here. Why don’t you be honest with yourself for a second? You want to fuck me. You want it so bad it hurts.”
Hot rage billows up inside me. I’m pissed at being turned into a stammering fool just because he’s gorgeous. I’m pissed that he knows exactly what he’s doing to me. And most of all, I’m pissed that my dream job has turned into a nightmare because my boss is a prick and every extra penny I make is going to my mom’s cancer treatment. I stand abruptly, moving to the couch, sitting down, kicking off my heels, and putting my feet up. He wants to play games? That’s perfectly fine with me. I don’t need to waste my time and energy trying to make progress with him. I grab a magazine from the end table by the couch and start to angrily flip through the pages. I don’t know if it looks like I’m reading or not, but I don’t really care.
Savage: A Bad Boy Next Door Romance Page 17
