by Dahlia Lu
"Live a happy life, Kali. Live so happy that it'll make me think that I've made the right…” he took in a deep breath to keep control of his voice. "...decision. I did make the right decision.”
He clenched his fists and turned to walk rapidly down the hall. After a few steps, he broke into a run. He didn't know where he was running, but he knew he was running away from her. He couldn’t breathe. All he wanted to do was run until he collapsed.
Forgetting about her will be easy, he tried to comfort himself. Just live and let time carries him. Time would fade her image from his heart; the image of the little girl that had been stamped on his heart so long ago.
Goodbye, Kali.
Kali slide down the wall to the floor. He was really leaving her this time. He wouldn’t be coming back, no matter how much she screamed or cried. He wouldn’t be coming back. He was really leaving.
"Chevalier,” she sobbed. Her fists clenched the hospital gown over her heart. "Chevalier... how could you leave me?"
Her cry seemed to echo through the endless hallways of the hospital.
Chapter 18: The Letter with No Stamp
Dear Kali,
There is so much I want to say but I’m afraid that it won’t all fit into this letter. I guess first off, I want to congratulate you on the birth of your baby. He’s beautiful. I saw through the nursery window and all I wanted to do was hold him in my arms, but the nurse wouldn't allow me because I'm not the father. I was ticked off because even though the time I spent as his father was brief, during that time I really made myself believes he was my child. He will always be in my heart. I regret that I wasn't able to hold him just once. I do wish, though, that he didn’t look so much like Lucifer. I was hoping he would look like his beautiful mother.
I love you, Kali. I always have. If you can’t remember when we met, it was because I was there the day you were born. That day, I was at the hospital because my mother had just died of a heart attack. I felted so desperate and alone. I thought I was the most pitiful thing in the world, because now that my mother had died, no one in the world would care for me. While I was hiding in a broom closet, I overheard a conversation between your grandmother and the nurse. I could not believe the words that were coming out of her mouth. She didn’t want you. She wanted the nurse to discard of you because she believed you were a bad omen that had killed both your parents. I thought to myself, that baby is way more pitiful than me. She’s lost her parents before she even knew them. She will never know the warmth of her mother or the love of her father. She’s even more unwanted than me. I have some memories of my mother, at least.
That night I snatched you from the hospital and I wanted to run away. I didn’t want to return to the hellhole of my own house, but where would a seven-years-old-boy and an infant go? I held you in my arms and walked for miles until I was sure we were far enough from those terrible people. You cried half of the way. When I reached for your face, you would suck my thumb trying to find milk, and then you’d go on crying. I snuck onto a farm that night and fed you milk from a goat. I was exhausted and we both fell asleep in the stable. That was how we spent your first day in the world.
So the next day, a seven year old boy, an infant girl, and a goat were traveling on the side of the road. I should have mentioned I stole the goat. I walked many miles that day. I rested when I got tired, fed you when you were hungry, and just kept on walking. I just wanted to get away. No matter how far I walked, my father was still able to catch up to me. I was kicking and screaming while he shoved me into his truck. He was going to leave you behind on the side of the road. Before he could start the truck, I jumped out of the window and grabbed you. Unless he wanted to try sawing my arms off, I wasn’t going to let go. He had no choice but to bring you back, too. I returned home and continued to be his slave. He would come home drunk each day. Every time he beat me, I was afraid he would turn on you. I knew I didn’t want you to stay in my hell.
Two months after I took you, I saw your grandmother on the street. I followed her and found out her address. I ran home as fast as I could and took you there. I kept knocking on the door, but when she finally opened it, she saw me and a baby. She shut the door in my face. I knew she didn’t want you, but she was your grandmother! If I could get her to accept you, you would have a home again. For a seven year old kid, I was pretty damn persistent. I didn’t budge from her porch for three days and three nights, holding you in my arms. You cried constantly because you were hungry. I thought that if I left that spot, all my efforts would go to waste. That old woman’s heart would harden again. I needed her pity.
At that point, I just wanted to get you through that door. I didn’t care what it took. I bit my fingers and fed you every meal. I was going to make your grandmother to take you if it killed me. I was very close to dying when she finally opened the door. I made sure she took you out of my arms before I allowed myself to pass out. I told myself that if anyone deserved to be happy, it was you. I wanted to make up for all of your losses. I wanted to substitute for the mother and father you never had. I wanted to give you all of their love so that you could grow up with a healthy heart and love everything around you. I didn’t want you to feel unwanted and alone like me.
I can’t say I raised you, but I was there every step of the way. I watched you grow into a wonderful girl. But a scary thing happened as you grew older. My paternal love for you turned into a different kind of love, one that I could not control. I was frustrated with my growing attraction toward you, even though you looked at me through the eyes of a sister or a daughter. I felt guilty and sick and didn’t know how to act around you. The seven year gap between us may not be much, but it makes the difference between who can fall in love and who can’t. For two years, I kept a distance from you. I visited you less and less frequently.
You were fourteen when your grandmother passed away. They were going to send you to an orphanage, but I couldn’t let that happen. I never wanted you to feel like an orphan. I was twenty-one at the time and had the means to support you, but I was so afraid of being close to you. I was afraid that you would find out my feelings and be disgusted with me. I didn’t want you to be afraid of me. And so I began to wander into the beds of different women, but my head were filled with nothing but you. I wanted to wait until you were ready to understand my feelings. I wanted to wait until you can reciprocate, but things don’t always work as planned, do they?
I wanted to be with you so much it hurt. I did what I did because I was selfish. I wanted to have you. I wanted to have a family with you so badly that it blinded my conscience. I knew you had recovered your memories, but I just couldn’t let you go. I couldn’t just let him take you away from me. I wanted to shelter you from everything, as long as I live. I didn’t want anything to hurt you, be it fate or Lucifer.
It took every ounce of strength in my body to leave you. I believe that was the first time I ever really said no to you. I hope you won’t hate me for it, but don’t forgive me either. I wanted to feel a little guilty for a while. I stop by your place now and then to check on you, but I don’t have the courage to face you. For all you know, I might lose control of myself and hold you in my arms. If you're in my arms, Lucifer's going to have a hell of a time keeping me away. I want you to be happy, Kali. That’s all I have ever wanted, so smile each day for me.
If you’re wondering about my whereabouts, I can’t say. Today I might be in one place, the next day in another. I’ve decided to take a little time off from reality and take a journey. I was hoping I’d find myself again.
I’ll come back when my heart is no longer so heavy. Then we’ll be reunited.
To the woman I love most in the world,
Chevalier
Chapter 19: The Ones Left Behind
Lucifer awoke from his sleep. She lay next to him, breathing softly against his arm. He gently brushed her silky hair from her coral cheeks. He bent to give her a kiss on the forehead. Then he rose from his bed and cast a protection circle around her befor
e he left the bedroom. Walking into the neighboring room that had been converted to a nursery, he went to his child’s bed. His son was already awake.
“They’re here,” Trent said to Lucifer, his five year old eyes somber. His mop of platinum hair echoed his father’s, and his blue eyes would have put the stars to shame. Their lucid clarity reflected his father’s image.
Lucifer nodded. “Keep a watch on her, Trent. I will be come back soon.”
“I will protect her,” the boy said.
Lucifer cast another protection circle around his son, and then disappeared into the shadows. Trent got off his bed and moved into his mother’s room. He climbed onto the bed and sat by her side.
“Adria,” Trent called softly. “I need you here.”
A summoning circle drew itself on the ground, and a beautiful female appeared within the circle. She had a pair of beautiful black wings. The feathers that fell from them disintegrated before they touched the ground.
“What it is, my prince?” she asked.
“Keep watch with me,” he said to her. “I will not let them get to her.”
She politely bowed to him. “If that is what you wish.”
Lucifer appeared in the cemetery, where he sensed the source of the calling. There were many demons present. They were the beautiful creatures, sitting on the gravestones of the deceased under the bright full moon. Each was a dark angel, banished from heaven long ago.
They bowed to Lucifer as he materialized.
“Why have you summoned me?” Lucifer demanded. The demons looked to one another for a representative, but none volunteered.
“Lord Lucifer, why did you leave us?” A female blurted out when she saw his expression was turning impatient.
“Please return to our home.” Another demon begged him. “You are our master. We exist only to serve you.”
“Your throne awaits you, my lord. Leave this repulsive world and return to ours. Leave that woman.”
“Leave her, Lord Lucifer, and return to your throne.”
“Do not forsake us, my Lord!”
“My place is here now,” Lucifer replied to all of their pleadings.
“We cannot accept that woman as your bride!” A demoness cried. “Not if it means you must leave your throne to be with her!”
“You have no say in this. The decision is solely mine,” Lucifer said, his position clear. “Kali is my bride and the mother of my son. I chose to stay here beside her. I ask that you respect my choice. Attempting to persuade me is futile.”
“My Lord Lucifer!”
“I have said enough,” Lucifer said. “Do not summon me again over such nonsense.”
As soon as he finished his sentence, he disappeared, leaving his demons to their grievances.
“Where do we go from here?” one demon asked another. “He refused to leave her.”
“If she is the problem, we will have to get rid of her,” another demon replied.
“Do you not remember Soren? Will you follow his example and be killed by Lord Lucifer as well?”
“Worry not. Soren was foolish for challenging Lord Lucifer. I have a plan that will surely return him to us.”
Lucifer returned to his bedroom, where he found his son by his wife’s side. The boy was happy to see him.
“Thank you, Trent,” Lucifer said to his son. “You may leave, Adria.”
The demoness vanished obediently.
“Did they leave?”
Lucifer nodded. He climbed quietly onto the bed. “She’s a deep sleeper, isn’t she?” he gathered her in his arms.
“Can I stay here tonight?” the boy asked.
Lucifer nodded and gave his wife a gentle kiss. She stirred. Lucifer and his son slipped under the cover sheet next to her and embraced each other.
“Good night, Trent,” he said. “And sleep well, Kali.”
†††††
Trent opened his eyes to his mother's voice. Kali greeted him with a smile and rumpled his platinum hair. “Wake up for school, Trent.”
The boy sat up right.
"Must I, Mother?” he asked.
“Why?” Kali asked curiously. “You don't like to go to school?"
“All of the kids act weird around me,” he replied. “And they say that you both are too young to be my real parents,” he said in a soft tone. “I hear them whispering to each other.”
“Is that why you don’t want to go?” Kali asked.
He nodded. “They’re lying, and I don’t like it.”
"Just ignore them, Trent. I will always be your mother and Lucifer will always be your father. Their opinions don’t change anything. Come on. Brush your teeth and change. I’ve made breakfast for you.”
He was about to remind her again that food wasn’t a necessity, but he decided to leave her be. He remembered how sad she had looked the last time he pointed it out to her. He couldn’t understand why she liked to do such unnecessary things for him, but if eating and sleeping like a normal child made her happy, he would play along.
He nodded obediently and walked down the hall to the bathroom.
“You should get up too, Lucifer,” Kali said. "Don't keep pretending to be asleep when you clearly don’t need any.”
He opened his eyes then grabbed her by the arm to pull her down to him on the bed, her back to his chest. She protested uselessly.
Lucifer used magic to seal the door shut, then raised his head to kiss her. Turning her over, he kissed her all over her face before settling on her lips. He massaged her tongue with his own, demanding her complete attention. His scent was both exotic and intoxicating. He broke the kiss and looked up at her blushing face. He bent his head down to kiss her neck, his hands caressing her body.
“Lucifer, Trent is still here,” she said softly.
“I’m starting to think you love him too much,” he said.
“Lucifer…”
“When I think about it, I miss seeing you cry,” he smiled deviously. “I want you to cry out my name, Kali.”
His hand slipped under the hem of her shirt, travelling up her body.
There was a knock on the door.
“Mother?"
Kali pushed Lucifer away, embarrassment bringing a blush to her cheeks. She rushed to open the door and let him in. Lucifer sighed. He rested his head on his elbow and watched her pick up the boy, swooping him in circles as they both laughed. In a year or two, she wouldn’t be able to lift him like that anymore. A smile appeared on Lucifer’s face.
†††††
He had been everywhere he had ever wanted to go. No matter how captivating the scenery was, home was the only place on his mind. He let out a breath, quietly thrilled to be back where he belonged.
It was these buildings, these people, and this atmosphere that had made this place so special. This was where he had buried his memories of her. Chevalier walked hand-in-hand with a little girl with golden curls through the city streets. She wore a white knee-length dress decorated with ruffles and laces.
“How have you been, Kali?” he said under his breath.
“Chevalier,” the four year-old girl looked up and tugged on his hand. Her large hazel eyes looked up at him in wonder. “Who’s Kali?”
“Kali is…” he sighed. “You’ll know when you meet her.”
She nodded.
Chapter 20: The Two Demon Lords
The dark angels were gathered at the cemetery again. They were whispering to one another while anticipating the arrival of the two demon lords. They were the strongest and most respected among all demons. If anyone could persuade Lucifer to return to his throne in Hell, it would be them.
A summoning circle drew itself in mid-air. A tall and beautiful man appeared from the circle. He had long black hair that blended in with the wind of the night, and a pair of amber eyes comparable to the hellish fire of doomsday. His face was perfectly balanced. His nose was straight, his chin was defined, and his lips were grim but nevertheless beautiful.
“Lord Acelin,
” he was greeted with a respectful bow.
Following him was a slightly shorter man with golden blond hair. He has a pair of stunning grey eyes that seemed to contain a miniature storm. His features were much softer than Acelin’s, almost childlike in essence.
“Lord Arvin,” he was also greeted with a degree of reverence.
"There had better be a good reason why you have awakened us!" Arvin warned. His attitude completely contradicted his innocent face.
"It is a matter of great urgency," one of the demons said.
"Be quick about it!" Arvin demanded. He was clearly upset with being awakened ahead of his time. It was not the first time he had been disturbed from his sleep.
"Patience, Arvin," Acelin said to him. "Listen to what they have to say. There is plenty of time for sleep.”
Arvin nodded in agreement.
"Lord Lucifer had left his throne," A female demon informed them. "He has forsaken us for a mortal woman.”
"Lies!” Arvin hissed. "Lord Lucifer has always looked down on those insects!"
"But it is true, Lord Arvin!" another demon cried. "He fell in love with a mortal woman and deserted us.”
"They do not dare to lie to us," Acelin said to Arvin. "There may be some truth to what they are saying.”
"Are you telling me to believe that Lord Lucifer fell in love with a human?! Do you know how repulsive that is?"
"That is why we need your help, my lords," a voice from the back of the demonic throng called. "He refused to return to Hell because the woman had taken his blood. She is now a cursed soul that can enter neither heaven nor hell. He has chosen her over us.”
"So that is how it is,” Acelin chuckled. “Lucifer offered his blood to her. I wonder what has driven him to do such a thing. Why don’t we pay our brother a visit?”
“My lords, you must convince Lord Lucifer,” another demon pleaded. “We are broken without him.”
