Startled at this unexpected request, I slowed down the car and pulled onto the edge of the road.
Althea hopped out, closed the door behind, and leaned into the open window. “I’ll see you at the top,” she firmly proclaimed.
“Are you sure you want to do this?” I replied, trying to give her an opportunity to gracefully back out.
“It’s not that far, and I want to do this,” she responded with even more conviction.
With no place to park the car on the narrow winding road, I watched her as she started off wriggling her way through the boulders. I paused thinking how I could go with her when my friend in the back seat volunteered, “I’ll go with her to make sure she doesn’t get into any trouble.”
“Thanks. I appreciate that. Just keep her safe,” I said. As the two disappeared I thought to myself, What did I get myself into this time? I drove to the top and parked the car, anxiously waiting for their arrival.
Hours later, the two still had not appeared. I drove up and down the mountain looking for signs of them with no luck. It was getting late and I knew she had no water or food, just her strong determination. Catastrophic thoughts crossed my mind. What if she was hurt? What if they both were hurt? Patience was not ever a real virtue of mine, but Althea gave me many opportunities to develop it—this was lesson number one.
Finally, she appeared, poking her head above the last remaining rocks. “There, I did it. I told you I would!” she proudly declared.
“Yes, you did.” I responded and hugged her closely to me. Given I barely knew Althea, my reaction was completely unexpected, especially given my first impressions of her. At the same time, it felt entirely natural. For the remainder of this day, we fell in love, later driving again to the top of the mountain as the sun set in the west. Our first kiss was truly unforgettable and I knew I would be kissing these sweet lips more and more in the near future.
As our relationship blossomed, my thoughts were consumed with Althea. All I could think about each night before I went to sleep was what we had done that day and when I could be with her again. Unlike any relationship I had experienced before, I knew from the start this one could lead to marriage.
By May we were engaged, and by November of this same year—a mere nine months after our first meeting—we were married. This was the happiest day of my life. Exuberant about being pronounced husband and wife, we literally ran down the aisle and out of the church. The photographer asked us to repeat our exit so he could capture the moment. Althea and I shared total bliss with our life’s adventure was just unfolding. We were finally, legally, formally joined. Although our courtship and romance felt like we had been married from the first kiss, this showed to the world the seriousness about our love.
After serving four years in the Air Force, I was discharged in 1971. Althea had almost two years left in her tour and we transferred to Oklahoma City where I went to college at Oklahoma State. Althea took some classes and cross trained into nursing and worked at the base VA Hospital. In 1973, I graduated from college, Althea was discharged from the Air Force, and we moved to Denver, Colorado, the mile-high city.
We found a great love for the mountains there and ventured into them at every opportunity. Our first home was at the foothills in Morrison and our next home was just down the road but at ten thousand feet. Living at this elevation was literally like living on another planet. Short summers, amazing falls, and cold snowy winters gave way to breathtaking springs and the rebirth of the forest. Our living room and kitchen windows peered across an expansive valley onto an eleven thousand foot peak that bordered the Mt. Evans wilderness area.
It was a perfect life for us despite its difficult struggles. Managing deep snows and relentless erosion was a full-time job. Precarious boulders all looked for the slightest reason to find their way down the steep hillside and into our den. We not only found a way to communicate with each other but also found a deeper understanding of our love. We grew in every way one could imagine and all for the good. Unlike some marriages that fail upon adversity, ours literally grew stronger with each of life’s challenges. We supported each other, forgave each other, and encouraged each other in life changing ways. We found true love.
As we grew older, the familiar Christian teachings of our childhood could not answer all of the burning questions we had about life. Althea, being more impatient than I, aggressively sought answers in any place she could find. Together, we tried several churches, watched televised evangelists, attended metaphysical groups, each unfolding more and more answers to our spiritual questions. But then, in the summer of 1984, Althea took an interesting college class in Limit Testing that forever changed the course of our search for personal spirituality.
Limit Testing is all about confronting one’s fears and passing through them. This particular class used a variation of a Native American ceremonial ritual called a Vision Quest to test each student’s individual limits. On this Vision Quest, a person’s comfort zone—among other things—is tested by sleeping outside in the wilderness for three days. This potentially life changing experience confronts one’s fears and boredoms, and any other baggage one carried into this ritual. Althea would brave the wild without food and meditate on her relationship with her Creator. Three days alone gives anyone a lot of time to think and react to these otherwise easily ignored confrontations, Althea being no exception.
Bundled in her sleeping bag out in the wilderness on a cold and damp star-lit evening, Althea was visited by a wild animal. At first, she heard rustling in the woods and gently snapping twigs. But then the noises stopped as if this animal had wandered off and complete silence returned to this pristine forest. Then, mingled with the faint sounds of the rustling trees, she heard small footsteps on the ground circling her feet. These footsteps grew louder as they wound around her sleeping bag, slowing as they approached her head. She heard a sniffing sound grow closer and closer to her ear, the noise rising and falling as the skittish creature gained and lost its courage. Louder and louder the sniffing became and before long she could feel the warm breath of this animal on her hair and face.
This forever changed her perception of acceptance by nature. Before, she felt like a stranger in the forest, loving everything she saw but feeling somehow separate from it. Now, she felt welcomed as a part of this ancient family. Along with the other people in this college course, she finally found what she was searching for—she found her personal spirituality.
Althea’s free spirit extended well to impromptu activities. About ten P.M. after a long, fresh snowfall she decided to build a snow cave in the front yard in the snow pile just below our second-story deck. In about an hour she carved out a long, narrow cave into the eight-foot high snowdrift in which her sleeping bag would snugly fit. Then she settled in for the evening. A while later, her cat Bengals snuggled into the sleeping bag along with her and its warm body kept Althea’s otherwise constantly cold feet toasty all through the brisk black night.
With her head facing our porch, a fox visited her. Pacing back and forth on the deck above, this curious fox wondered what stranger had invaded its territory. Much to her surprise, this fox finally stopped its pacing and then without warning, a warm rain of urine fell upon Althea’s mystified face. Although she was now marked for life, this did not daunt her and she remained cuddled in her bag. Extending one of her hands into the cold night air, she wiped down her face with her shirt sleeve and remained undaunted—in effect claiming her space.
Althea’s unique animal connection continued with their uncanny fascination with her head. Whenever Althea is outdoors, small winged creatures circle and sometimes even land in her hair. While sitting on our porch, hummingbirds would buzz around her as if finding a delicious food source in a beautiful flower. While walking near our water garden, swarms of white butterflies flocked to her landing on her shoulders and the tip of her nose.
The most memorable event of Althea’s animal attraction occurred early one fall evening. I was busy cooking dinner with my
back to the sliding glass door that led out to our front porch. Althea noticed how beautiful the evening glow was, and wanted to go onto the deck to more fully appreciate it. She opened the door, stepped through the doorway, and flipped on the floodlight to see if any animals were wandering around in the driveway below. From the edge of the roof next to this floodlight, a bat flew from its temporary resting place and landed directly on the top of her head. Althea shrieked.
I spun around to see what could possibly have happened. The bat had sunk its claws around her hair and was frantically flapping its wings around her face as if to tell her she had disturbed its nap. The bat dug in its claws and pulled against her hair like it was trying to carry Althea away. She put her hands up over her face to keep its wings from beating on her eyes, its long wings reaching to bottom of her ears. With its mouth open wide and eyes glaring, the bat continued beating its wings despite Althea’s frantic shrieks.
The expression on this bat’s face was human like—almost mischievous in its appearance. Its rhythmic flapping matched its panting facial expressions like some strange cartoon playing out in front of my eyes. I found this expression quite amusing and laughed heartily as this bat continued to flap away.
As I walked toward Althea, it flew off leaving her unharmed and breathless. I held her tight to dispel her trauma and focused on the meaning of this encounter. Althea had many metaphysical connections with nocturnal creatures, but none quite like this. Native Americans believe that when animals interact with people in this way, lessons can be learned from the encounter. However, understanding such a lesson may not be a simple task.
Althea began researching bats. This particular bat was quite large; large enough for its wings to cover her ears and eyes while sitting almost erect atop her head. We went to the zoo where we learned that only small bats—those with six inch wingspans—are native to Colorado. This particular bat must have had a wingspan of at least twice that to reach below her ears.
Such bats predominantly lived in South America and how this bat appeared in Colorado is still a mystery today. Metaphysical queries showed that spiritual connections with bats can enhance intuition, dreams, and visions. Native Americans identify bats as a Shaman’s totem giving night vision and the ability to see through deceptions. The latter proved to be true when a bat came to Althea and led her out of a dark canyon.
These and many, many other similar animal encounters convinced Althea of their continued importance in her life. These encounters completed her transition from Christianity to Native American spirituality and metaphysics.
Amidst all of this adventure, our mutual goal in life was our love for each other. Since life changes as time passes, so did our love evolving each day into something more beautiful than the day before. It is hard work to maintain and grow love at this level. Each time you look at your loved one, you try to find new words to express the way you feel. Sometimes you find yourself coming up with something just a wee bit different; other times you say the same phrases with as much passion and tenderness as you can muster.
Each time someone confesses their love to their loved one, a magical thing happens: love grows. If passion rather than empty words fills any hand-written poem, sincere greeting, or casual note, love grows. Keeping passion alive in a relationship—not sex—brings a quality to it unlike anything else, and love grows.
Our life together was not only loving, passionate, and adventurous but also caring, giving, and attentive. One day, the wisdom acquired while bringing all of these assets to our relationship and to our spirituality would be needed by both of us in a long-term, highly-focused effort with unthinkable consequences.
Chapter 2 — February 20, 2008 — Day 0
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I worked as a trainer for a hot tub company in Tampa but for fun I enjoyed astronomy, music, the arts, and making old audio equipment sound better. I loved roller blading, bicycling, fixing up the house and yard, practicing my own personal spirituality, and of course those long walks with Althea. I enjoyed cooking—especially breakfasts—and all sort of social and spiritual activities with friends and colleagues.
Life for us was about as good as it can get. Happiness and love surrounded us and everyone we touched. We found a little piece of heaven on earth and planned on easing into our retirement. Our lives were involved, encouraged, fulfilled, and wonderful.
We still had our share of struggles. After a recent root canal, Althea was waiting for her last dental appointment for her permanent crown fitting. The temporary crown was a nightmare and being sensitive to almost all antibiotics and extremely reluctant to use pain medications, she lost sleep—a lot of sleep. But today was the day her sensitivity to heat, cold, and acids in her mouth would finally be gone. Today was her final dental visit and all of that sleeplessness would be behind her. Today she would have one less struggle in her life and once again smile without pain.
Despite her discomfort and drinking coffee through a straw, despite her diet of soft and somewhat bland food, Althea was upbeat and looking forward to this afternoon’s quick dental event. A little numbing of her jaw, a little trimming here and there, a little glue, and it would all be over—finally. She longed to once again awaken naturally and pain free.
That night, she rolled over, looked at me, and grinned. Stretching her lips wide with one hand she showed me her temporary crown—the one that would be replaced. Pointing to it, she put one finger in her mouth joined quickly by two more deliberately trying to disguise what she was saying. Through the fistful of fingers, she blurted out, “See, see, this is it. Say goodbye to this thing.”
“I can’t wait for you to get a full night’s sleep again,” I replied in relief since I too would get more sleep.
We looked fondly at each other one last time, I read aloud to her from a chapter in a book, we kissed, told each other that we loved each other, and I turned out the light with a flick of the switch. All seemed well in our family. I felt the stress in my heart dissipate knowing that when I got home from work tomorrow, everything would return to normal once again. The bags around my eyes would disappear and Althea would probably be snoring away at night as she always did before.
At six A.M., I got ready to leave for work. I found Althea fast asleep on the couch in the living room. This was not an unusual place to find her since she often tossed and turned throughout the night struggling with her tooth. She considerately got up from our bed so I could get some much needed rest.
On occasion, she went into the spare bedroom and slept, but her favorite place was the couch. It was just a little more comfortable to her as she could snuggle into the corner where the back and cushions met. It made her feel like I was cuddling her.
Althea is a tactile person who loves touch more than anything. She prefers hugs to kisses, but kisses are a necessary follow-up to any good hug. She would take long hot bubble baths feeling the silky water slide from her soap-ridden arms and giggled with joy as her long wriggling toes emerged from the white foamy depths.
I tiptoed over to her, watching her for a while before stooping down and gently kissing her goodbye on the forehead. Her chin-length blonde hair lay randomly against her pillow and shoulders. Her purple print cotton pajamas prominently displayed the roses she so loved along her long slender arms. She seemed at peace for the first time in quite a while and I didn’t want to awaken her. I felt so lucky to have her in my life and I said a quick little prayer of gratitude to the Creator.
As my warm breath reached her face she sighed and stretched a little under the sage green cotton blanket. Slowly opening her eyes, she stretched out her arms, hugged me, and said to me “Drive well and have a good day at work.” This was her ritual farewell words to make sure I drove consciously and fully aware of the traffic in my hour-long trip to Tampa.
I lovingly kissed her back and with my equally ritualistic words said to her, “Have a good day too!” She pulled the covers over herself and closed her eyes with a smile.
I looked back at her as I left wa
nting to stay but today was a special day. Today, the President, VPs, and new staff would introduce the strategies for the next twelve months. The company was doing pretty well and I was excited to hear what our marketing organization was planning to do.
I jumped into my car and sped off along my familiar route. I spent the entire day in this strategy meeting turning off my cell phone once it began. After lunch, I called Althea but reached her voice mail instead. I didn’t think much of this since today was her dental appointment so I left a message for her telling her I loved her, turned off the phone again, and went back into the meeting.
After the meeting finished, I finalized a few more details with coworkers and left work around five P.M. Traffic at this time of day was terrible so I settled into some classical music and took a casual drive home. As I finally got out into the country, the traffic pace slowed and I turned on the cruise control in an attempt to fully unwind.
As I passed by farms with green pastures, I remembered my cell phone was switched off. Calling Althea’s cell phone again, I left yet another voice mail saying I was on my way home. Being puzzled by the fact that she still did not pick up, I then remembered her appointment with the dentist.
Althea: A Story of Love Page 2
