Somebody would die today no matter what I did. I closed my eyes and said nothing. I didn’t have to tell my grandfather that I was caving. He knew.
He ordered me to text Ben and ask him to come to the center of the labyrinth. Then he took my phone away, and we waited. I couldn’t look at Asher and do what had to be done, so I averted my face and stared at the sky. Minutes later footsteps crunched in dirt and brushed past leaves. My father called my name.
Everything in me wanted to scream, to warn him to run.
Franc squeezed my arm until I thought the bone would break. I bit my lip until Xavier pressed a foot to Asher’s neck.
“Here!” I choked out.
I stood, listening to the steps coming ever closer. “How do you want me to do this?” I asked my grandfather bitterly. “I can’t exactly take him with my bare hands.”
He reached into a pocket and pulled out a knife. He’d thought of everything. He handed the blade to me and threatened, “We can make Asher’s death short or we can draw it out until he begs us to die. Remember that.”
Then he touched my chin, as if to encourage me, and my stomach heaved.
I gave a choppy nod and cradled the knife in my palm. Using it on my grandfather wouldn’t save Asher, and I would never be able to take out two Protectors on my own. Franc knew that, had counted on it.
Too soon, Ben appeared at the same opening I’d come through. He smiled when he saw me, and then the look faded as he took in the scene and the gun that my grandfather now trained on him.
“What the hell?” he asked.
I shuffled a few halting steps toward him, hiding the knife in my hand.
“Remy?”
Sobbing, I stood in front of my father, close enough to do as Franc demanded. My father trusted me, and I could kill him. He would never see it coming. Would never imagine I was capable. He would do anything to keep Lucy safe, though. I knew that. He would forgive me for this betrayal if he understood the reason behind it.
I stared into my father’s navy eyes, and he gazed back.
“Are you okay, sweetheart?” he asked. “Did they hurt you?”
Hurt me? What a stupid joke.
“Kill him!” my grandfather shouted, and I jumped. “Choose, or watch as every member of your family dies, beginning with Lucy.”
Understanding lit my father’s face when he glanced down at the knife. He didn’t panic, yell at me, or try to fight me off. He reached for my hand and held it in his, but he didn’t take the knife from me.
“It’s okay, Remy. You do what you have to. I trust you.”
He grasped enough to know that Franc was forcing me to do this against my will. That other lives were at stake. I gripped the hilt of the knife. I turned to face Asher where he lay on the ground, bruised and bloody. I willed him to read my mind, to give me his blessing for what I would do.
And he answered with the slightest nod.
I flipped the knife over and handed it to my father. He took it with a bewildered expression.
“I won’t do it, Franc. I am a Healer and a Protector. You can’t cut that side of me away by killing the people I love. So do what you’re going to do to me. I don’t care anymore. I won’t let you make me a monster.”
Betrayal twisted Franc’s features, and he raised the gun.
“Dad? Are you out there? Mom needs your help getting the game out of the closet.”
The forest froze. Lucy shouted to my father from one of the trails, heading right toward us. I couldn’t hide my terror, and Franc saw it all.
He would use her against me.
Panicked, I swung about to face my father. The light glinted on the knife in his hand, and an awful idea popped into my head. Without me, this could all end. Without me, this would all go away, and my grandfather would have no need to kill my sister. My father might never forgive me, but I couldn’t see another way.
Sacrifice one for the many. Maybe I was like Franc after all.
“I’m so sorry, Dad,” I whispered.
I grabbed his outstretched hand and jerked the knife toward me, plunging it into my belly. It sliced through my skin with less resistance than I expected. Warm blood gushed out, and my stomach burned.
“No!” Franc shrieked behind me.
My father stared down at our hands. Shock gave way to horror, and his mouth opened in a silent shout. He dropped his hand and stumbled back. The knife remained, blood welling around the hilt.
It felt like long minutes had passed since I’d heard Lucy, but mere seconds had ticked by. I shoved my father aside, and he fell to the ground. I could do this. I could stop my grandfather if it was the last thing I did. I had to for my father and Lucy and Asher. Franc saw the knife. He hesitated a moment, lowering the gun, and that was all I needed. I gathered my energy, praying my power would work without touch. I imagined my injury becoming Franc’s, and sent my energy flashing toward him.
The air crackled and hissed, and red sparks shot through the air. Franc cried out and blood spread across his shirt in a brilliant red stain. He pressed a hand to his side. In the distance, Lucy screamed and called out for help, her voice fading as she ran away from us.
Xavier and the other Protector readied to attack me. I held out a bloody hand in invitation and leveled a dare at Xavier. He knew I could transfer my injuries by touch. Would he chance coming near me?
I gathered what energy I had left and let it swirl in the air.
Xavier wheeled about and ran. The other man stared at Franc for two seconds and then took off after him.
All my bravado crumpled, and I collapsed to my knees, holding a hand to my stomach and trying to remember how to breathe. Franc took a few stumbling steps backward and almost tripped over the bench before sinking down onto it. The gun fell to the ground.
“Asher!”
He rolled to his side, but didn’t lift his head. “I’m okay, Remy. You?”
“Stabbed,” I said.
“Ah, the usual, then.”
I snorted and immediately regretted it when my stomach muscles burned like an unholy fire.
My father rose to his feet beside me, slowly approached Franc, and took the gun. “Who the hell are you?” he asked.
Ben’s eyes narrowed, and I thought he might be considering shooting Franc.
I said, “Dad, meet my grandfather. Granddad, meet my father.”
“Stop it!” my father shouted.
I jerked and grimaced.
“Just don’t. Don’t joke,” he said in a softer voice. “I stabbed you, and you’re acting like . . .” He swallowed and gathered himself. “I’m going to get an ambulance, and when I get back somebody had better tell me what the hell is going on.”
He handed me the gun. “Will you be okay?”
I nodded. He smoothed the hair off my forehead and then was gone, crashing through the trees. His expression lingered in my mind. I’d freaked him out. Fear and shock had drained the color from his face, and his hand shook. When I couldn’t hear him anymore, I shrieked in frustration. He would hate me now that he knew what I was.
“He didn’t know about you,” Franc said in wonder.
“Why couldn’t you leave me alone?” I despaired.
He didn’t answer. Tires squealed in the distance. Too soon to be an ambulance. I gripped the gun tighter. Xavier appeared and helped Franc up. They disappeared into the forest in seconds, heading back toward the road with Xavier helping my grandfather along.
I flattened on the ground, my energy reserves depleted.
“Remy?” That was Lucy’s voice shouting from the edge of the forest. “Is Dad with you?”
“No! He ran back to the house to get help!”
It sounded like Lucy was at the house. She should have bumped into Ben.
An engine started on the road and a car pulled away. I listened with half an ear.
Except the Protectors had run off before Ben.
“Ben!” That was Laura yelling. I pulled myself up and saw Asher doing the same. Somethi
ng was very wrong.
A crash thundered and echoed through the forest, followed by the squeal of those tires. The Protectors had hit something when making their getaway. I stared at Asher, and his eyes filled with equal dread.
And then Lucy’s screams exploded into the evening air, shattering what was left of my world.
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
“Lucy, we have to go.”
We lived at the hospital the first week.
Machines and tubes kept Laura alive, and we were terrified to leave her. Lucy and I watched over her, but she wouldn’t wake up. Head-induced trauma that had led to a coma, the doctors said. I’d tried to heal her, but nothing happened. Head wounds had always been my nemesis. I hadn’t been able to heal my mother, either.
As soon as the doctors in Blackwell Falls had stabilized Laura, we’d made arrangements to move her to a hospital in Chicago under a new name. The better to hide her from the Protectors. I’m not sure how Asher had moved that mountain, but I would forever be grateful. Who knew how many Protectors were crawling all over our hometown by now?
They had taken Ben. The Protectors had forced him into their car and driven off. And then—by accident or on purpose?—they’d struck Laura as she’d run after them. Lucy had watched the whole thing and spent too much time rocking silently in her seat, lost in her thoughts.
A week had passed, though, and we couldn’t chance staying put any longer. The Protectors or my grandfather would come after us, and we needed to find a safer place to hide. Lottie had surprised me by volunteering to stay with our mother. When I questioned Asher, he simply said, “You and Lucy can’t stay. Your mom can’t be moved. Either I stay or she does. She wants to stay.”
Rather, she didn’t want to be stuck with me. I couldn’t blame her. So Lottie and our mom would stay in Chicago, while Lucy and Asher ran with me.
I touched my sister’s shoulder, wishing I could make that shell-shocked look disappear from her face.
Lucy glanced up with bruised eyes. “I can’t leave her. What if she wakes up and she’s alone? What if—”
“Lottie promised to check on her. You know we can’t stay.”
They would use her against me. My friends and family would be little more than collateral to control me. We had to run and figure out our next steps.
“When we find somewhere safe to hide, we’ll bring her to us if we need to. But she’ll be awake by then. You’ll see.”
I put an arm around Lucy’s waist when she stood. We took turns saying good-bye to Laura, but our only answer was the beeping of the machines.
Lucy’s steps dragged as we left the room, and she tucked her head down. Outside the hospital, Asher and Lottie waited, saying their good-byes. She shook her head at my asking look. Still no word from Gabe. He had no idea what had happened. At least he hadn’t been in danger.
Lottie helped Lucy into the backseat of the car, and Asher stopped in front of me.
I kept wondering what I could have done differently in the forest. Had there been a way to avoid all of this? Asher rested his forehead against mine. We’d healed our injuries, but it hardly seemed to matter anymore.
Would we ever see Laura or my father again?
“Ready?” Asher said.
I nodded, and he took my hand. We climbed in the car. Within minutes, the hospital and then the city disappeared behind us, and I stared out the back window long after there was nothing to see.
Lucy’s shoulders shook as she hunched down and cried.
I stroked her hair. “Everything will be okay, Lucy. I promise.”
And I prayed I wasn’t lying as we left everything we knew behind.
FOOD FOR THOUGHT
1. At the beginning of the novel, Remy is determined to seek out her grandfather despite the protests of her friends. Why is it so important to her to find him? Are her actions brave or rash?
2. In Touched, Remy was dealing with the trauma of the physical and emotional abuse her stepfather Dean and her mother inflicted on her. How has she changed with Dean and her mother out of the picture? Are there ways in which she hasn’t changed? How does her past abuse affect her relationship with Asher, her family, and the Healer community?
3. Remy often makes decisions based on pure instinct, while Asher and Lucy challenge her to think before she acts. Who do you agree with? How has the habit of going with her instincts helped her or harmed her?
4. Remy believes in healing people she can help, even when it causes her harm. Is her ability a gift or a curse? If you had her ability, how would you decide who to heal or what injuries to take on?
5. Remy and Gabe start out as enemies in Touched. How does their relationship change in Pushed? What reasons would Gabe have for helping Remy?
6. The Healers have formed a community after years of running from the Protectors. What advantages are there to sticking together? What are the dangers? If you were Remy, would you prefer to be a part of the community or to live outside of it?
7. Remy keeps her abilities a secret from her father and stepmother. How does this decision impact their relationships? Is she making the right choice? How do you think her parents would respond if they found out the truth?
8. Asher and Gabe bring out different sides of Remy’s character. What are these differences? How does each character become a stronger or better person when they begin to change? Are any of the changes negative?
9. Remy realizes that people have been able to manipulate her because of her desire to belong to a family. Where does her desire come from? Have your emotions ever been manipulated by someone because you wanted to belong?
10. Remy’s grandfather believes that he’s doing the right thing for the Healer community. Should an individual be sacrificed for the greater good of the many?
SOUNDTRACKS
When I begin a book, I create a playlist. The songs I pick fit the mood of the novel, or the lyrics may reflect a certain moment or character. As I write, I listen to these songs over and over. By the time I finish a book I’ve listened to each song upwards of 100 times each. They become so much a part of my process that they feel like the backbone of the story. Below is a partial list of songs that I listened to while writing Touched and Pushed. A lot of these bands may be new to you, but I hope you check them out
Touched
Song (Artist)
Because of You (Kelly Clarkson)
Waiting on an Angel (Ben Harper)
Daughters (John Mayer)
Breakable (Ingrid Michaelson)
Yes I’m Cold (Chris Bathgate)
Trouble Is a Friend (Lenka)
You’re Not Sorry (CSI Remix / Taylor Swift)
Hangin’ by a Thread (Jann Arden)
Falling (Tyrone Wells)
Inside My Head (Clare Reynolds)
Come Down to Me (Saving Jane)
The Death of Us (The New Amsterdams)
Hero/Heroine (Boys Like Us)
Falling (Keri Noble)
Next to You (Tim Easton)
Closer (Kings of Leon)
Hang On (Isobel Campbell & Mark Lanegan)
So Long Sweet Misery (Brett Dennen)
Winter Song (Sara Bareilles & Ingrid Michaelson)
Arrivals (Aqualung)
I Would Die for You (Jann Arden & Sarah McLachlan)
That’ll Be the Plan (Daniel Martin Moore)
The Night Will Go As Follows (The Spill Canvas)
All I Can Do (Tyrone Wells)
Don’t Give Up (Clare Reynolds)
Pushed
The Light Song (The Homes)
Come Over Here (Sarah Bettens)
Someone to Fall Back On (Aly Michalka & I Can’t Go On, I’ll Go On)
The Fear You Won’t Fall (Joshua Radin)
The Road Knows (The Homes)
Stay Over (The Rescues)
Youthless (Beck)
Into Dust (Mazzy Star)
Safe & Sound (Taylor Swift)
Sit with Me Tonight (Garrison Star)
Jungle (Emma Lou
ise)
The Trapeze Swinger (Iron & Wine)
The Only One (The Black Keys)
Lonely Hands (Angus & Julia Stone)
Fever (Adam Freeland & Sarah Vaughan—Verve Remixed 3)
Run (Katherine McPhee & Smash Cast)
Firefly (Ed Sheeran)
Call It Off (Tegan and Sara)
The House That Built Me (Miranda Lambert)
Somebody That I Used to Know (Gotye)
Free (Graffiti6)
If Not Now, When? (Incubus)
Falling Awake (Gary Jules)
Live Forever (Drew Holcomb & The Neighbors)
Sail (AWOLNATION)
The Sense Thieves series continues in
IGNITED
Turn the page for a special sneak peek!
A KTeen trade paperback in June 2014
CHAPTE ONE
I hid in the alley, painted in shadows and praying that I hadn’t stepped in whatever caused the putrid scent burning my nose. Across the street, a lone pay phone—the first one I’d seen in the last hundred miles—stood under the glaring spotlight of a street lamp. Two more minutes, Remy, I promised myself. Two more minutes of cowering, and then I run for the phone.
Warm fingers pressed into my back, seeking comfort and offering it at the same time. My half sister, Lucy, waited behind me, and I could feel how she shook. Talk of fear rarely entered our conversations these days, but after four months of living like hunted animals, I knew what horrible thoughts might be running through her mind. I had to remind myself that she was only seventeen. I was only a year older, but my experiences had aged me compared to her. My fingers trembled, too, around the knife I gripped, and I used a cloth to wipe my warm blood from the blade. I lifted my thin T-shirt to tuck the weapon into the back of my jeans’ waistband and pressed a hand to my stomach when the torn muscles protested. The part of the plan where I had to be injured sucked.
Pushed Page 29
