“Yeah.”
“I want you, Wills. Now.”
She nods. “I want you too.”
I push up, looking down at the girl who has turned my entire world upside down in only a week.
Her hands lift to my pants, removing my belt, then undoing the button, and I push them down, letting my rock-hard dick spring free.
Willow and I have technically seen each other naked, but this is like looking at each other for the first time.
She smirks, and I swear I get even harder. There’s something sexy about a woman looking at your cock and smiling.
I lean over into her top drawer where I know she keeps condoms and the vibrator she claims she doesn’t have. I grab one of the packets and tear it open.
“Reid?” Her voice is filled with fear.
Dear God, please don’t want to stop.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing, it’s just ... I don’t want this to change us.”
“I thought you wanted things to change.”
“Not like this. I mean, this is ... we need to …” She lets out a heavy sigh. “You’re my best friend and this can’t change that, okay?”
“Nothing will change. I’m not going anywhere. Do you want me to stop?”
She shakes her head. “No.”
“Good.”
I line myself up and try to think of anything to keep from embarrassing myself. I go over financials in my mind while I slide in.
Four hundred emails to answer.
Holy fucking shit she’s tight.
Two meetings next week.
Dear God, I might explode.
I inch a little farther.
There are about seven ad accounts that need to be relooked at.
“Reid. Please!”
And then, Willow grips my ass, pulling me as deep as I can get, and I don’t remember a fucking thing after that.
Ten
Willow
I had sex with Reid.
Really, really good sex.
Of course he couldn’t suck in bed and make it easier on me. Nope. He had to be fantastic and give me multiples.
Multiples! Like a damn unicorn walked up to me and tapped me on the nose!
Now he’s in my bed, snoring with his arm draped over me, and I can’t sleep.
I told him everything was fine. I did the whole let’s cuddle thing because he looked so happy. I can’t remember the last time I saw him smile like that. I’m a fool, that’s for damn sure.
And he thinks nothing will change? Was he kidding? Everything has changed. We had sex, and I’m ruined for all men now.
I have to think. I need to figure out what the hell all of this means and how I’m going to fix it.
Because it has to be fixed. Reid and I aren’t like that. We aren’t a couple. We aren’t in love. We’re just two best friends who got a little carried away and gave in to an itch that has needed to be scratched for a while now.
Yes, that’s it. Curiosity, plus a natural, biological attraction and a dash of loneliness. Add that all together and you have a recipe for a one-night stand that was really great and all, thanks to Reid’s unicorn dick, but we can’t let it happen again. It isn’t worth ruining our friendship.
I know I said I wanted things to change, but I didn’t mean us. Not like this.
I have no idea what time it is, but the sun is coming up and my room is starting to glow with morning light. I scoot my legs over the side of the bed, making sure not to wake him, while trying to lift his arm up just enough to get out. When my feet hit the floor, I slide a little more, moving when I can. Reid makes a loud sound and I’m half on and half off the bed, hoping I can slip out entirely.
He lets out a loud snore that sounds more like a roar, and I use the opportunity to go.
Of course, I didn’t account for my rug sliding out from under my foot, and I tumble to the floor with a loud bang.
“Ouch!” I grab my left elbow and rub it.
“Willow?” Reid peeks over the edge of the bed at me. His hair is sticking up in all directions and his jaw is stubbled, but still my heart beats faster. “What are you doing? Running away?”
“Uh, no. I was just trying to get out of bed without waking you.” Suddenly I remember how naked I am. Scrambling to my feet, I hurry over to my dresser and grab a T-shirt. As I throw it over my head, I will my pulse to stop racing.
“You’ve got a cute butt.”
I meet his eyes in the mirror. “Thanks.”
“Come back to bed and let me get my hands on it again.”
Part of me wants to take a running leap onto the mattress and let him do that and more, but I know I can’t. “I don’t think so.”
“Why not?”
I turn around and face him, leaning back against the dresser. “Because we can’t do that again.”
“Sure, we can. We can do it right this very minute.”
“No, Reid.” I fold my arms across my chest. “I have to take a shower and get ready for work, and you have to go back to your apartment now.”
Reid sits up and scratches his head. The blankets fall to his waist, and I’m forced to contemplate his smooth, muscular chest. I can still feel the weight of it on mine, still smell his warm, bare skin, still remember the way his arms had been braced above my shoulders. “Why are you upset about this?” he asks.
“I’m not upset. I’m just facing reality. You and I are not a thing, we’re never going to be a thing, so we shouldn’t go through the motions of a thing, because it’s confusing.” I speak firmly and with finality, praying he’s not going to push back.
“I’m not confused.” He looks me right in the eye. “I know what I feel.”
“Well, I’m confused. And I don’t think you actually know how you feel, I think you’re just reacting to the sex. Sex can make you believe you feel things for another person, when really it’s just the chemicals in your body. The oxytocin and whatnot. It isn’t real.”
Reid keeps staring at me, and for a moment I’m worried that he knows me too well, and he’s going to call me on my bullshit. But he doesn’t.
“Okay, Willow. If that’s what you think.”
“It is,” I confirm, relief coursing through me as he starts looking around for his clothing. “And I’m positive you’ll think the same as soon as you get a little perspective.”
“Right.” Spotting his boxer briefs on the floor near the bed, he tosses the blankets aside and swings his feet to the floor.
Quickly, I turn around and start pulling things from my dresser drawers—underwear, a bra, a pair of dark skinny jeans. I don’t want to see his naked body. It will only mess me up more, and my emotions are already wreaking havoc in my belly. “I’m going to jump in the shower. Can you let yourself out?”
“Yep.”
Behind me I hear the metallic clink of a belt buckle. The hum of a zipper. “Great. I’ll catch up with you later.”
“Whatever.”
I avoid looking at him as I make my way into the bathroom. Once I’ve made it to safety, I shut the door, lock it, and lean back against it. Fighting the fierce urge to cry, I close my eyes and hold my breath.
Please leave, Reid. I can’t handle talking about this right now. I can’t deal with your disappointed face or your naked body or your feelings. Please understand, you’re the best friend I’ve ever had, and I don’t want to lose that. I need you on my side for the rest of my life, and if I open myself up to you, and you decide I’m not what you want, I’ll never recover. It’s not worth the risk.
I stay there choking back sobs until I hear the door to my apartment slam shut. Then I turn on the water, slip my shirt over my head, and step under the spray, finally letting the tears fall.
“Uh oh. What happened to you?” Aspen asks the moment she sees me at my desk that morning. Coming closer, she frowns at me and waves both hands in front of my face in a wax-on, wax-off motion. “Your aura is all kinds of fucked up.”
I push her hands away. “Leave my
aura alone today. Okay?”
“No can do, sis. When I sense a tortured soul in need of unburdening itself, I’m compelled to help it along. It’s part of my gift.” She drops onto the floor and sits in a lotus position. “Talk to me.”
Heaving a sigh, I close my laptop and rub my face with both hands. “I did something stupid.”
“Like what?”
I peek at her between my fingers. “I slept with Reid.”
She nods thoughtfully. “Of course you did. I could sense the anticipatory sexual tension between the two of you last night, and the five brightest planets in the sky were aligned and visible, including Venus and Mars, and we all know what that means.”
I have no idea what that means, but maybe I can blame astronomy for what happened last night. “It was the craziest thing. I came home after we left them at the bar. I ate dinner. I put on my pajamas and watched the Hallmark channel, and I was just about to go to bed when Reid came bursting into my apartment, breathing hard and chest all puffed up like he was furious with me.”
Aspen sighs. “Fucking Mars. Every time.”
“I thought he was mad about us spying on him and Kandace and I tried to apologize, but out of nowhere he just grabs me and kisses me so hard I can’t breathe.” I shake my head, remembering the shock of his lips on mine. “I tried to fight him off, because I knew it was a terrible idea, but instead of pushing him away, I suddenly found myself kissing him back.”
“That’s Venus for you,” my sister says with a sly smile.
“Then before I knew it, he was sweeping me off my feet and rushing into my bedroom, where we proceeded to throw all rational thought out the window and bang each other senseless.”
“How was it?” Aspen’s grin is sly.
Sighing, I set my elbows on my desk and tip my forehead onto my fingers. “Amazing. Magical. Perfection.”
“So he knows what he’s doing?”
I nod miserably. “And then some.”
“Was it awkward afterward?”
“It was, and it wasn’t.” I sit back in my chair. “Right afterward, we fell asleep pretty quickly. But at some point, I woke up and started to panic.”
“Why?”
“Because I realized what a mistake we made!” Hopping to my feet, I grab my empty coffee cup and stalk over to the Keurig I keep on top of my credenza. “I was lying there, naked, next to Reid, and we’d done all the things!” Flustered, I shove a pod in the machine and snap it shut.
“Good grief, Willow, you had sex with him, that’s all. It’s a totally natural, human thing to do. The world didn’t explode, no one was hurt, and orgasms are good for you. What is there to panic about?”
While my coffee cup fills, I think about all the answers I could give, all the frightening things running through my head all night, keeping me awake. There are almost too many to name, but will Aspen understand any of them? She believes in free love and no rules and following your heart’s desire. But I don’t trust my heart to lead me in the right direction right now.
“It comes down to this,” I say, carefully carrying my coffee back to my desk. “Reid’s friendship is more important to me than anything, even good sex. I’m willing to sacrifice good sex in order to preserve the dynamic we have right now. I need him in my life, Aspen. And if we let our sexual attraction take over our decision-making, we’re just asking for trouble. I know it.”
“How do you know?”
“Because it felt too good,” I blurt, coffee sloshing over the side of my cup as I set it down. “It was too intense and too much fun and too hot. That kind of fire dies out fast. It doesn’t last. And I’d rather be celibate than lose Reid.”
My sister exhales as if I’m a hopeless case. “Okay, fine. But remember.” She draws herself up and lays the back of her hands on her legs, palms up. “Fear does not stop death. It stops life.”
I cock my head. “Where did you hear that? Your last fortune cookie?”
“No. I found it on Pinterest. There’s some really good stuff there.”
Dropping into my chair, I roll my eyes. “Thanks for the tip. Now I have work to do, so please find someone else’s soul to unburden.”
“Fine.” She unfolds her legs, stands up, and heads for the door. When she gets there, she looks over her shoulder at me. “So are you still planning to match him up with someone?”
The thought turns my stomach. “Yes. That’s my job.”
“And he agrees with you about last night being a mistake?”
“Yes,” I lie.
Aspen gives me a look that clearly expresses her disapproval and disappears down the hall.
It doesn’t matter what she thinks, I tell myself. It only matters what Reid and I think, and I’m certain that once he takes a moment to consider the potential fallout, he’ll agree. After all, he was the one who said he didn’t want anything to change.
We shouldn’t have done it, and we can’t do it again.
There’s too much at stake.
Eleven
Reid
I should have known she was going to freak out.
Actually, I did know. It’s totally Willow. And even knowing that, I would have gone there last night. I was too fed up with wondering what it would be like.
Now I know.
Unfortunately, I’m not sure if that makes it better or worse, since what I know is that she and I are fucking fantastic together. Not just the physical stuff, which was beyond even my wildest dreams—and my dreams about her have gotten pretty wild—but how much fun we had. How much we laughed. How good it felt to know it was Willow inviting me inside her. How unreal it felt to have her hands on my skin and her breath on my lips and her voice in my ear, panting yes, yes, yes. That girl can be the most uptight, persnickety little thing on the planet, day to day, but in bed she was all liquid fire.
And I made her come at least twice. I know I did.
So what’s her problem? I tighten the knot in my tie and study my reflection in the full-length mirror in my bedroom, trying to figure this out. Why was she in such a hurry to kick me out of her bed this morning?
Across the hall, she’s getting ready for work too, and I imagine her fretting about what we’ve done and coming up with a million reasons why it was a mistake. Each one would be sensible, logical, and irrefutable.
My stupid gut feeling we could be great together wouldn’t stand a chance.
But fuck that. I’ve got to give it one.
As I’m leaving my room, I run into Leo attempting to enter it.
“Dude, I didn’t think you were here,” he says, scratching his stomach. He’s wearing ripped boxer shorts and a white Superman T-shirt with yellowed armpits.
I frown. “I didn’t sleep here, but I came in this morning to get ready for work. Do you need something?”
“Coming to use your bathroom. It’s a lot cleaner than mine.”
“Jesus Christ, Leo. It’s called Lysol. Go buy some. I gave you a place to stay, but I’m not scrubbing your fucking toilet.”
My brother looks taken aback. “Did you wake up on the wrong side of the bed or something? What’s with the bad mood?”
“I’m not in a bad mood!” I roar. “And I don’t need to be told by you or Willow or anybody else how I feel!”
Leo nods knowingly. “Ah. I get it. You slept with Willow.”
I stare at him. “How do you know that?”
He taps his head. “I’m smart. And I notice things, like the way you look at her. It’s the same way I looked at the June 1938 Action Comics book No. 1. I saw it once at a show. A real beauty.” He sighs. “But way out of my price range.”
“Yeah, well, you have a better chance of buying that comic book than I do of convincing Willow to give me a chance.”
“I don’t think so. That thing costs millions of dollars.” He burps and scratches his belly again. “Anyway, what’s with Willow? Why won’t she give you a chance?”
“Hell if I know.”
“Maybe you’re a shitty lay.�
��
I glare at him. “Fuck off.”
“I’m serious. Are you sure you did it right? Do you need some tips on how to find her—”
I hold out a hand to shut him up. “I don’t need any sex tips, thank you very much. I know where everything is. Our problem isn’t physical, it’s mental. She thinks sleeping together was a mistake.”
“Oh.” Leo actually looks a little sad for me. “So now what do you do?”
“I convince her otherwise.” I stand up taller. “She’s just scared is all. And I get it—we’ve been best friends for years, and we don’t want to lose that.”
“You can’t push her, though. Willow is stubborn.”
“I know that,” I snap, annoyed that Leo, of all people, is trying to give me dating advice. “I know her better than anyone.”
“I’m just saying, you might want to keep that Italian temper of yours in check and not go charging at her like a bull toward a red cape.”
“I know what I’m doing,” I insist, pushing past him.
But it’s not exactly true.
I text her around one that afternoon.
* * *
Me: Drink after work? My treat.
* * *
Willow: I’m meeting friends for dinner.
* * *
Is she really? Or is it an excuse not to see me because she’s worried I’m going to try to sleep with her again? I tell a fib to get her to meet with me.
Me: I’ve got dinner plans too. We can make it quick.
* * *
Willow: Oh, okay then. Where?
* * *
Me: The Kerryman? Six?
* * *
Willow: Sounds good.
I set my phone aside and concentrate on work for the rest of the day, but she’s on my mind a lot. If I close my eyes, I see her beneath me. Then I inhale, and I swear I can still smell her. I get caught doing that once, by my secretary.
Imperfect Match Page 8
