She sighed, pulled into her driveway and hoped that she would have the nerve to face Jake. Really face him. What was she so afraid of anyway? She knew as she pulled the keys from the ignition. She couldn't deny that physical draw between them. Something in her subconscious had agreed to let him come here today. And she had to admit that she was wondering as she walked to the door how it would feel if she gave in to those physical cravings.
"This is it," she dropped her keys on the table in the tiny hallway and led him inside. She watched as he took in the hardwood floors and whitewashed walls. Most of the furniture was used but not worth much more than sentimental value. She and Brian had reupholstered almost all of the chairs and he had been responsible for reconditioning the floors.
"Nice place," he said, obviously scanning the collection of pictures on the wall. There were several of Brian by himself, one of their wedding and a couple of Brian's brother and his wife.
"You want a drink or something?" She rubbed her bare arms, hoping she didn't look as uncomfortable as she felt while Jake scrutinized her family photos.
"Naw, that's okay," he followed her into the living room.
"You sure?" She sat on the edge of the sofa, clearly uneasy. How could she let a man like him get to her?
"I'm sure." He sank down on the sofa next to her, forcing her to move over unless she wanted her leg to brush his--which she didn't.
"We need to find a new place for you to hold your seminars," she began. Look casual, throw your arm across the back of the sofa. Turn to face him, angling your hips so that you aren't so damned close to him.
"Where do you suggest?"
"Maybe under the pavilion. I don't want them back in the habitat. Not for so long anyway. I'm afraid we'll have a repeat performance. You know, with the snakes."
"I agree. Too many kids there and too many snakes. How am I supposed to keep them under the pavilion, though?" His eyes were on her as she nervously licked her bottom lip.
"I'm going to help," she announced. The idea didn't sit well with her, but she felt like she had no choice. Besides, it would take her mind off of this attraction for Jake.
"You?"
"Yes. Me. I'm thirty years old. It's time I got over this fear of mine. Besides, it's kind of silly considering.... You know, considering what I saw with you, what I am now."
"I agree. You know, I could make it easier for you. I could give you, uh, one-on-one lessons or something. You know, get-to-know-you sessions." He looked down at her left hand, which was tracing tiny circles onto her bare leg. She stopped, feeling his eyes on her.
"Okay." She could tell she surprised him because he finally met her eyes.
"Okay?"
"Yes. Okay. I've done a lot of thinking today. And I know I need to make some changes. So, I'm open to suggestion."
"Just like that?"
"I guess so. Why, does that surprise you?" He really needed to stop looking at her like that. She knew that look. It was the same one he had earlier before he kissed her. Her fingers went up to her lips, remembering the heat that had stayed there long after his lips had gone.
"There are a lot of things about you that surprise me," he admitted.
"Oh?" She didn't want to flirt. Really, she didn't. But she was drawn to him just as easily as a mouse is drawn in to the snake's hypnotic sway.
"Yeah," he leaned into her, draping his arm on top of hers across the back of the sofa.
"Jake, I...." I what? I want you! She stopped. She didn't know what to say to him. "Never mind. You sure you don't want something?" she meant to drink. That wicked gleam in his eyes indicated something else. She instantly felt her nipples hardening against her shirt.
"I want something, all right," his voice was strained. "Josie, we're both adults here," he rubbed her shoulder with his fingers.
"Your point?"
"My point is I'm beyond the point of playing games. I want you. I still want you. What happened between us doesn't change anything. In my mind, it makes us stronger, gives us a bond. All you have to do is say the word."
Those words teased her, igniting a fire somewhere deep within her. As if it hadn't already been lit! She practically burned everywhere that his fingers touched. God, right now all she wanted was to feel him. She closed her eyes. All she had to do was say the word and he would be hers. But for how long? Could she be a one-night stand kind of woman?
"You're not serious."
"More serious than I've ever been before."
"I'm not interested," she lied, avoiding his eyes.
"You seemed pretty interested earlier."
"I was extremely stressed earlier. Happy just to be alive. I would have kissed anyone."
His hand forced her to face him, "Would you have moaned for anyone?"
That voice was made for seduction. He could probably read the newspaper to her and sound sexy. The word moan sounded like a moan on his lips. "Jake...."
"Would you?" He leaned into her, so close she could feel his breath on her face. "You smell like peaches."
"I can't do this," she finally said, pulling away from him.
"Why not?"
He was like Eve tempting her with the apple. She knew how helpless Adam must have felt now. She could give in to him and not think twice about it. She could give him everything. "You should go," she stood, turning her back to him. She was ashamed to face him. Ashamed of what she wanted to do so badly. In a perfect world, Brian wouldn't matter and she would be able to do what she wanted to do. There would be no consequences for her actions. But this wasn't a perfect world. And she remembered how actions and consequences went hand in hand.
"I'll go now. But I'll be back. You and I have a lot of unfinished business, lady. And I plan to finish it."
Josie let the tears run down her cheeks as she heard Jake's retreating footsteps. His words echoed in her head as she sat there, staring into space. She could hear the echoing sound of the closing door long after he had gone. The house felt even emptier now than it had this morning when she had left for work. Her insides felt emptier, too. She sank to the sofa, wondering what to do.
* * * *
The photo album was packed with as many moments as can be collected in three years. She had mementos from trips, dates and outings. A four-leaf clover was crumbling and faded on one page. Tickets to a concert were edged with wear from where they had been stuffed into Brian's pocket and washed. Pictures covered every page.
She and Brian had lived. They had packed a lifetime of memories into three years. She had loved him with everything that she had and for so long after he had died, she had felt completely empty. She had fallen into a depression. She had lost interest in everything.
Josie slowly drew herself out, realizing that she was wasting his memory by moping around. What she really needed to do was keep his memory alive by following in his footsteps. She could do all of the things he hadn't been able to do. She figured she owed him that much.
Brian's death was her fault. She had always thought so. No one would ever speak those words to her, but she knew they were true. If it hadn't been for her, he wouldn't have been out in the woods. If he hadn't tried to save her from whatever it was that attacked them that night.... She stopped. No one ever knew what it was that had attacked them.
Her hand went to her side, the place where the teeth marks still rested. They had only grazed her before Brian interfered. Maybe she fainted. She really wasn't sure. All she knew was that somehow she had managed to end up back in the car. And Brian was never seen again.
His clothing was found later in shreds, his blood covering it. Though his body was never found, he had been declared dead. Josie had always hoped. Had always thought that somehow he had escaped from whatever it was out there that had attacked them.
Was it possible that he had been attacked by wolves? That he was now a werewolf? No, it was impossible. But she had seen some impossibilities, and now Jake thought she was the intended target. A woman born with a werewolf gene? Now, why hadn't her ped
iatrician zoned in on that one?
"Brian, I don't know what to do," she cried, running her fingers along the edges of their wedding photo. "I can't even picture your face anymore without a photograph. I can't hear your voice. I can't remember how it used to feel to kiss you."
The sobs were taking over her body. She shook uncontrollably. Brian was dead. Even if he did live somewhere as a creature of the night, he was not coming back to her. She couldn't remember when she had stopped jumping every time the phone rang expecting it to be him. Or when she had stopped calling for him when she came home. Or when she had buried herself in his work so that she wouldn't forget him.
"I love you, Brian. But I have to let you go."
* * * *
Jake waited for the full moon, his every instinct on alert. He had locked himself in one of the large cages used to hold the big cats while they were waiting for transport or for the vet. Tonight, it would hold him, would insure that he would not escape, just in case the serum he had been injecting himself with didn't work. He couldn't risk Josie's life again. But every hair on the back of his neck stood at attention. Whatever had attacked him before could be out there, lurking, waiting for Josie.
His Josie.
Who was he fooling? Jake couldn't compete with the late, great Brian Mitchell. He was out of his league and wasn't sure why it mattered. He hadn't wanted a relationship with Josie. He just wanted to sleep with her, to get her out of his head. But now, the thought of just having sex with her wasn't enough. He wanted more, and he didn't want to be haunted by the ghost of Brian Mitchell, a man Jake wasn't even convinced was dead.
What was it about her anyway? She was smart, beautiful. There was more, though. She did something to him. She made him feel something that he couldn't quite explain yet. And he wanted to take his time exploring, testing the waters to see exactly what it was.
Chapter Nine
Josie didn't look any worse for the wear when she appeared the next morning. Jake would like to say that he hadn't been watching for her, but he found himself looking out of his window onto the parking lot every few minutes. He stretched lazily. He had timed how long it would take for her to reach his door and was prepared for it to open any minute now.
Jake pushed the mini blinds back one last time. It was just in time to catch the view of her backside as she walked past him and to the pavilion where the day camp met. This was the same pavilion where he would be holding his seminars from now on. Under her watchful eye.
He shoved his glasses into his shirt pocket and raked a hand through his ponytail, a habit to help work out some of the tangles. He thought for the first time in a long time that he might as well get it cut off. His haggard appearance wore the proof that he had been up half the night. Damn the woman. Ever since she slithered back into his life, he hadn't been able to sleep worth a damn. His nights were filled instead with either trying to form a plan to impress or thinking about her pressed into him. Neither was working.
Jake pushed his chair away from his desk and picked up his keys. Sliding them into his pocket, he took one last deep breath. He would need all the strength he could summon to keep his hands off of her.
She hadn't seen him coming. He could tell by the look of surprise that washed over her face as he loomed over her. Disappointment crept in as her face held its stony expression. She may be able to write him off without so much as a second glance, but he couldn't do the same. All he could think about was winding that silky hair around his fingers and making those lips yield to his kisses.
"Morning, Josie," he smiled and then seated himself next to her, ignoring the half turn that she did in the opposite direction in order to return to her clipboard.
"Morning," she half-heartedly answered, scanning her notes for today's groups.
"You should really talk to those people at Old Navy," a smile tugged at his lips.
She turned back around, her brow knit with confusion, "Huh?" So it wasn't the most intelligent response she could come up with, but considering that she had no idea what he was talking about, it would have to do.
"Your shorts," he tugged on the hem, carefully grazing her skin with the back of his hand as he moved. "They're too short again."
"Oh?" she stared down at his hand, wondering if she should dare move it. The thought crossed her mind that she should just cover it with hers and lead it up a little. Then she realized where she was and who he was and thought better of it. "And when did you become an authority on shorts?"
"Since I started watching you wear them all the time." He was aware of her gaze on his fingers. He wondered what she'd do if he continued to rub them along the soft flesh of her thigh. He felt his physical response to that question almost as soon as it occurred to him. He had to get this woman out of his head. Just one night with her and he'd be able to think straight, he just knew it.
"You're out of line," she steadied her voice, hoping that her fingers didn't shake as she moved his hand from her leg and dropped it into his lap. She may want Jake Moore in a way that she couldn't even begin to explain, but she wasn't about to let him hit on her here in the open. And at Martin's zoo.
"Sorry," he threw her a lopsided grin before pushing himself back up to his feet. "I guess I'll go sit in my corner 'til you need me." He turned to walk away and then pivoted on his heel. "And, Josie? You will need me."
I already do, she thought as she watched him walk away. The pencil that she had been holding between her fingers was about ready to snap from the pressure she had been putting on it. She felt as if she would snap from the tiniest touch of his lips or his breath. Yesterday's kiss was so fresh on her mind, she really needed to clear her head. Otherwise, she would find herself thinking about him instead of the kids.
She watched as the group started ambling in for the morning. Luke was among the first kids there and already had Jake involved in a rather lengthy discussion about the benefits of putting snakes in his mom's laundry basket. Apparently, she had thought it was about as funny as Josie had the day before.
"You shouldn't do that, Luke," she heard Jake say. The gentle tone of his voice made her chest ache. "She could really hurt herself or the snake. And you wouldn't want that, would you?"
"No, but he was cold," Luke's five-year-old logic sounded watertight.
"Snakes don't warm up the way we do, though," Jake explained, kneeling down to the boy's level. God, he saw so much of himself in those crystal blue eyes.
"They don't need blankets?" Luke's eyes were wide.
"No, they don't. What snakes like is the sun. A snake's favorite place is curled up on top of a rock in the sun."
"Then how come you got them in cages? How do they get sun in there?" He kicked at the dirt clinging to his tennis shoes.
"You remember those big rocks in their cages?"
"Uh-huh," the boy shook his head wildly.
"Those are special rocks that heat up. They feel like they would if they were out in the sun." Jake glanced past Luke to see Josie watching him. As soon as his eyes made contact, she jerked her head away, turning back to her notes. He smiled and turned his attention back to Luke. "That's how they stay warm."
"So they don't like the laundry basket?" he dropped his eyes.
"No, they don't. And I bet they'd hate the washing machine even more." He saw Luke's eyes light up at that suggestion and quickly added, "And they don't like dryers."
"But they're hot," Luke argued.
"Too hot. It would be like placing him on a fire. It would kill him."
"Oh," his face dropped again. Jake saw a smile spread on the boy's face before he lifted it, "Could I see one of those rocks?"
"Yeah. I think we can arrange it. But later, okay? I think I see your teacher coming." He stood and nodded in Susan's direction. She smiled in return and then waved for Luke to come join the group. One disaster avoided at least for today.
* * * *
Josie didn't like the way Susan had been watching Jake. She had tried to ignore it yesterday, but today it seemed
extremely obvious. She was sitting too close to him, crossing and uncrossing her perfectly tanned legs at just the right time, flipping her long ponytail just so. She laughed too hard at his jokes and stared too intensely at his lecture. No wonder Luke had been able to set the snake free yesterday. Susan had been flirting with Jake.
"And that's how pythons catch their food," Jake explained, running a hand along Moe's backside to calm him. One of the kids in the back raised his hand. "Yes?"
"Are we gonna get to see him eat?"
"Even better. You're going to get to help feed him."
Josie thought she would drop her clipboard at this announcement. She thought she had made it clear that they were to scrap all of the old plans they had about the day camp since Luke's little escapade. Of course, come to think of it, she wasn't quite sure if they had made it that far. This is what happens when you take your mind off of work. She tightened her lips as the group of eight and nine year olds broke off into a low rumble of "cool" and "awesome."
"Each one of you," Jake explained, "will get a chance to help feed one of the animals while you are here." He raised a finger to all of the hands shooting up into the air at this suggestion. "Wait, wait. Let me explain what we're gonna do." He waited until the chatter died down before continuing. "Next week, we will do a walk through at the reptile house. You'll get to choose an animal from the ones that haven't been named and you will get to learn more about that animal. After we learn all about them, you will get to name them and have some hands-on time with them. And you'll get to feed them."
Josie was sure she hadn't heard him correctly. Hands-on time?
"We get to touch them?" one of the boys near the front asked.
Wolf Moon Page 9
