by Hanna Peach
“I’d never hurt you,” he said, one of his hands now stroking over my ass, his touch making my skin crawl. “I’m not like my… I’m not like that. You believe me, don’t you?”
I closed my eyes and lied, “Of course I believe you.”
15
Later that night I was alone after Drake had left my bedroom. I sat curled up in my armchair, a silky kimono wrapped around me, naked and used underneath, staring into my cold empty fireplace. I missed our fireplace, full and radiating with warmth. I missed squeezing in between my chichi and one of my sisters as we all huddled around it.
Three taps came from the window, pulling me out of my thoughts. Damn tree. Damn wind.
It came again, another three taps. My skin prickled. Those taps were too regular. Someone was at my window. I turned my head, peering through the low light of my bedside lamp. There was a curled figure silhouetted in my window.
Keir, the thought flashed through my mind.
My body thrummed with energy as I rushed over to the window. Jesus Christ. It was Keir. He was crouched on the thin sill of my window, pressed up against the glass. He gave me a wave and pointed to the latch.
I pushed up the window and he tumbled into the dim glow of my room. After him came the slight chill of the night breeze carrying the sweet scent of jasmine.
“Are you crazy?” I hissed. “What are you doing here?”
What if someone heard him? What if someone came into my bedroom? What would it look like, Keir alone with me in my bedroom in the dead of night. My heart filled with dread. What if Drake found him in here? Drake might not hit me but…
“Keir, you can’t be here. If Drake finds you−”
“I won’t stay long.” His eyes scanned all around my body as if he was looking for something.
“What do you want?”
His gaze flicked up to meet mine. “I just wanted to make sure you’re okay. That he didn’t…hurt you.”
“He didn’t,” I lied.
“What’s that?”
He had spotted the mark on my wrist. “Nothing.” I moved my arm behind my back so it was out of his sight.
He wouldn’t be deterred. He stepped up close to me. “Show me.”
“Keir, no.”
He grabbed for my hand, reaching around my body with his arms. I twisted from side to side trying to stop him. One of his arms went around my back and pulled me against him to hold me still. Our bodies met, my soft front melting against his unyielding body. I almost lost my mind in the tumbling whirling sparkling sensations inside my body; he had set off fireworks. Our matching heavy breaths heated up the air around us.
“I just…” his gaze dropped to my mouth. “I just want…”
We couldn’t.
I pushed my wrist between us into his face. “There. See.” Now please, stop being so close to me.
His arms released from around me and he took a small step back. The pressure around my heart from his proximity released but only slightly. He held my forearm lightly and turned my arm over so he could see around my wrist, the glaring red mark around it like a bracelet, another one of Drake’s gifts to me.
“He did this to you,” he spat out between his teeth. There was a raw anger in his eyes that I had never seen before. But unlike Drake’s anger, directed at me, Keir’s anger circled me like a warm protective shield.
“It looks worse than it feels.”
“Where are the other bruises?”
“There are none.”
“Don’t,” he said softly, “make me search you for them.”
This thought crept under my thin kimono like fingers and I fought a shiver. “He didn’t hit me, I swear.”
“If you’re lying to cover for him…”
“I’m not. It’s the truth.”
He studied my face. “You’re not lying. But Celeste came running back into the staff common room like she’d seen a ghost. I heard you scream. I thought…”
“He almost did,” I admitted softly.
“Jesus, Noriko.”
“But he stopped himself. He...he doesn’t want to become like his father.”
“You have to leave him. You have to leave the manor. It’s only a matter of time before he can’t stop himself…you know it is.”
“I can’t leave him. My father…” I couldn’t get the rest of the words out. My father will lose the money he needs to pay for his treatments if I leave Drake. My father will die and I won’t let that happen.
I didn’t need to say it out loud. Keir understood; I could see a forlorn acceptance in the slight nod of his head. “I wanted to go in there after you but I couldn’t.”
“You couldn’t?”
His jaw tensed. “It doesn’t matter now. I should go. I shouldn’t be here.”
“Why would you risk coming at all? I thought you didn’t want to be friends.”
“I never said that.”
“Yes, you−”
“I said we couldn’t be friends. It doesn’t mean that I don’t care.”
As he turned towards the window the light fell on his right hand. His knuckles were red and grazed raw. “Keir,” I gasped, “What happened to your hand?”
“Nothing.” He moved his hand behind him so I couldn’t see it. It was his turn to hide something from me.
“It’s not nothing.”
“Just leave it alone.” He swung a leg over the sill.
“Keir?” I said. “Thank you. For coming.”
He smiled. It was soft and sad. “I can’t come again.”
“I know. I’m just glad that you did. It means a lot to me.”
He looked like there was more he wanted to say to me. But he turned away and disappeared out my window to climb down the side of the building. I leaned on my sill watching his descent. He was like a cat, his movements graceful and sure.
He paused when he reached the ground, looking back up to me. I lifted my hand up in a goodbye. Before I shut the window between us.
16
Drake and I were having dinner together again a few evenings later. The dining room looked eerily normal. As if nothing violent happened several nights ago. But if you looked closely at the far wall, you could see where the plate had scratched the wallpaper when it smashed against it.
This was the first night we had both been back here together since. Even though the air between Drake and me felt sticky in this room, we both acted like nothing was amiss. Neither of us had spoken about the incident and the more days that went by made the memory seem more and more like a fading nightmare.
I had been holding in a question all of today. I picked at my fish as my mind went back and forth about whether to ask Drake, the question burning like a smoldering hole in my chest. I didn’t know how he’d react if I asked.
Ask.
No, don’t.
You’re not a coward, Noriko. Ask him.
“Drake,” I said suddenly, “I can’t find a phone anywhere in the house. I was looking all day.”
“The only landline is in my office.”
“Can I use it?”
“What for?”
“I want to call my parents.”
He placed down his fork and finished chewing his mouthful. “I don’t think that’s a good idea, do you?”
“But I want to speak to my father. His surgery is−”
“Your father’s fine. They’re all fine. Do you think I’d be that cruel that I wouldn’t tell you if something happening to him?”
“You’re keeping tabs on them?” This revelation filled me with dread.
“Of course I am. What is important to you is important to me.”
“But why won’t you let me speak to them?”
“I know you think I’m being mean but trust me, it’s for the best.” His voice had gone all soft. “Your home is here now, with me, and any contact with them is just going to make you homesick. I’m doing this for you, darling.” He reached out to pat my hand, a patronizing move that made me want to punch him straight
in the mouth.
I snatched my hand out from under his and crossed my arms over my chest. “I want to speak to them.”
“I’ve just told you why−”
“I don’t care. I want−”
“Riko, I’m not discussing this anymore. The answer is no.”
I was silent.
I was silent as he picked up his fork and resumed eating, as the white-hot rage swirled inside me, forming and taking shape. I would be silent now. But mark my words, Drake Blackwell, I would find a way to speak to my parents even if it was the last thing I did.
* * *
The next morning, after Drake had left for work, I crept down the corridor from my room wearing black leggings and a dark shirt. A dress just wouldn’t do today. In my right hand I clutched two small hairpins, both bent in a particular way. Drake wouldn’t be back until tonight. But he wasn’t the only one I needed to avoid.
At Drake’s bedroom door I glanced either way along the corridor. Seeing no one, I slipped inside. I passed through his living spaces, entered his bedroom then aimed straight for the locked door. This must be his office. It was the only door that was always locked.
I knelt before it. As I suspected, it was a standard pin tumbler lock. I know the theory behind how to pick a lock, but it’s not what you think. An old school friend of mine wanted to be a magician and spent hours practicing on the doors at my home, as his parents would disapprove if they knew.
I had personally never picked a lock before. But I had to try.
I slipped the first hairpin into the lock and applied pressure. I slipped in the second pin, bent out and the naked end curved up slightly. I started to fiddle around, trying to lift up each pin as I knew had to be done.
“What on earth are you doing?”
I leapt to my feet, spinning, and pressed my back to the lock. Loretta stood at Drake’s bedroom door staring at me with her mouth open and her eyes wide. I was so focused on the lock I didn’t hear her open the door.
“I…nothing.”
“That’s the master’s office. Nobody goes in there.”
What should I do? What side of Loretta should I appeal to? Should I beg her help? Or threaten her?
Somehow I didn’t feel that she would respond well to threats. “Please, I just want to use his phone. I want to call my family.”
“Why are you trying to break into his− Oh, I see. His phone. The master doesn’t want you to speak to them.”
She understood! I pleaded with her through my eyes, releasing out a little of the desperation I kept contained inside. “Please help me. I need to speak to them. My father’s not well,” I added.
Her face softened. I had her. I could see the pity forming on her face.
“Oh my dear,” she said. “You really think that a few tears are going to sway me?”
What? She strode over to me and grabbed my arm. Her grip was tighter than I expected from a lady of her age. She was stronger than she looked.
“If Master Blackwell doesn’t want you speaking to them, then you shan’t. I won’t help you.”
“It’s wrong to keep me from speaking to them,” I argued. “It’s just wrong.”
“I’ve known Drake since he was a baby. He is the most generous man you’ll ever meet.” The pride reverberated through her voice as she spoke. “He doesn’t do anything without good reason.”
“But what if it were your family? What would you do for your family?”
Her eyes narrowed. “Master Blackwell is my family.”
In that moment I knew it wouldn’t matter what Drake did to me − he could imprison me, beat me, kill me − and she would always take his side.
“I will spare the master this distressing news over your behavior,” she said as she marched me out of Drake’s bedroom. “Trying to break into his office and spying through his personal things.” She tsked. “He would be so upset. And after all he does for you.” She shoved me into the corridor. “If I ever catch you in here again, believe you me, I won’t hesitate to go straight to him.”
* * *
Outside it was dull. For once the California sun was hiding. Gray clouds blanketed the sky and the air smelled like an oncoming storm. Keir was pulling weeds from around one of the rose bushes.
I shouldn’t be here. I know I shouldn’t. But I had no one else to turn to.
I said we couldn’t be friends. It doesn’t mean that I don’t care.
I barely noticed as the clouds began to open up, the rain misting into my lashes and hair like dust. I stood, just watching him, his shoulders rippling out from his sleeveless shirt, and I remembered what those arms felt like around me the other night in my bedroom. My body warmed with heat, making the cool drops feel even starker in comparison.
Please don’t cause any trouble for me. I need this job.
I couldn’t ask him. I turned towards the house.
“Noriko?”
I froze. He must have heard me. I didn’t know whether I was glad that he had caught me out here or not. I turned towards him and we stood facing each other.
“What are you doing out here?” he asked.
I didn’t answer. I didn’t know what to say, my question dying on my lips. It wasn’t that I thought he would say no to me. I knew, if I asked him, he would say yes. I was afraid of the burden I would curse him with if I asked.
The rain started to pour heavier now. I felt it soaking through my thin dress and I shivered.
Keir cursed as he strode towards me. “You shouldn’t be out here. You’ll catch your death.” He took my arm and led me towards the pergola.
Once we were under cover he let go of me. He ran his hand through his hair, raindrops flicking from his dark locks.
“I was looking for you,” I said. I could still feel his hand on me.
“I got that.” His eyebrows furrowed as he searched my face. “Why? What’s wrong?”
“I shouldn’t be here. You said so yourself.”
“You’re here now. So talk.”
“My family…” I said.
“Are they okay?”
“I don’t know. That’s the thing. I asked Drake if I could call them. He said no. He said it was better for me if I didn’t speak to them. I tried to break into his office but…”
“You what?” His eyes went wide. “I don’t know whether to be impressed or−”
“I tried to, but Loretta caught me.”
“No.”
“Yes. She warned me never to try again. She said she wouldn’t tell Drake.”
“Do you believe her?”
“I don’t know.” I looked right into his face. “I need to speak to my father. I need to know how he is. I don’t know who else to ask for help.”
“You want me to help you get access to a phone.”
I slipped my hand into my pocket and pulled out the blue diamond necklace that Drake gave me. “Here. It’s for helping me.”
He stared at it but made no move to take it. “What am I supposed to do with that?”
“You can sell it. They’re real diamonds. They’d be worth something. I don’t know how much but it’d−”
“I don’t want it.” He pushed my hands away.
“You won’t help me?” My throat closed up. I was so sure he’d say yes.
“I didn’t say I wouldn’t help you. Just that I won’t take anything from you to help.” He took a deep breath and glanced out into the rain.
“If I’m asking too much−”
“Stay right here,” he said before leaping off the pergola and running off through the rose bushes.
* * *
As I waited for him I sat on one of the wooden benches, staring out at the drops falling from the pergola roof. Had I done the right thing by involving Keir? Had I been too selfish?
I leapt to my feet, my heart in my throat, when I spotted him jogging back through the roses towards me. He jumped onto the pergola platform, rain rolling off his hair and nose and along the muscles of his arms, his thick shoulders sp
rinkled with dampness.
He brushed himself down before he reached into his pocket and held out a slim black cell phone to me. “Here,” he said, “you can call your family on this.”
“Whose phone is this?”
“It’s my personal phone. Drake can’t trace it to Japan. He won’t know you’ve called your family.”
“But a call to Japan…it’s long distance. It’ll cost a fortune.”
“It’s fine. I said I’d help.”
I reached into my pocket for the necklace again. “Take it. Sell it. It’ll pay for the bill.”
“Put it away,” he pushed my hand away. “I won’t take it.”
“How else can I pay you back?”
“I don’t need you to pay me back.”
“But−”
“Noriko, just take the phone.” He took my free hand in his and pushed the phone into it, his touch heating up my skin.
“You don’t know how much this means to me,” I said, blinking back the moisture rimming my eyes, my voice infused with every ounce of gratitude that was coursing through my veins. “Thank you.”
“Just call them,” he said, a slight smile tugging the corner of his lip up. “Before I change my mind.”
I dialed the number of my family home. Japan was sixteen hours ahead of us. It was just after five o’clock in California so it was just past nine o’clock in the morning at home.
My body thrummed with anxious energy as the dial tone sounded in my ear. When I glanced up, I caught Keir staring at me.
I heard a click, then, “Moshi moshi.” My father’s warm voice filled my ear and instantly my eyes flooded with tears. They rolled down my cheeks and added to the drops of water falling off Keir onto the wooden flooring.
“Chichi? It’s me,” I said in Japanese.
