by Hanna Peach
“I’m sorry too.” We were both sorry. Now what?
“Maybe…” he said, slowly, “maybe it was a good thing.”
“Yes. Wait…a good thing?”
“It was just a kiss, right? Just a kiss to get it out of our systems.”
“Right. Of course.”
“Because it had been building for a while.”
I swallowed. “It had been,” I admitted. Since I first laid eyes on you.
“So, it happened and now we both have it out of our systems.” He was lying. I could see clearly the longing in his eyes and the way his gaze licked at my body.
“Of course,” I said. “Completely, utterly out of our systems.” I was lying. And he knew it. I was sure he could see it in the way I matched his stare. And in the way I was breathing heavily, my breasts pushing out towards him with every inhale as if begging for him to touch them.
I felt the resistance inside me crumbling. I didn’t know how much longer I could hold it back. This kiss hadn’t washed it out of our systems but had tangled us even further together, the knots tightening, drawing us both in, closer and closer. The kiss had damned us.
The space between us crackled like a fire. I felt myself drawing towards him with an intensity greater than before, as if he had grabbed me by my shoulders and was pulling me towards him. As I leaned in he leaned in.
“Noriko,” his voice was strained. “We can’t.”
“We can’t,” I repeated. I kept moving into him.
“We shouldn’t.”
“We definitely shouldn’t.”
We can’t, we shouldn’t; I was fighting a losing battle. He was so beautiful…but that’s not why I wanted him. I wanted his strong and hard-working hands on my body. I wanted his smart and passionate mouth on mine. I wanted to unwrap his mind, complex and layered like an origami, and for the depths of his soul to pour into my ear through his whispers.
I wanted Keir more now than ever before. I needed him. The rules I would be breaking seemed to matter less and less with every breath and with every grain of space that was falling away between us.
He stopped, his mouth an inch from mine. I paused too. Was this where it would stop? Would he pull away? Would he have enough sense for both of us?
He sighed, and it was a soft, sweet exhale which I caught in my mouth. “Damn us both,” he said under his breath.
Before he captured my lips with his. Our tongues met again. He pulled me to him, his hands twisting in my hair, and I rose up to my knees. Our torso and thighs pressed against each other. We just couldn’t seem to get close enough.
I should stop, a little voice inside me said.
But Keir’s kisses, his tongue, his hands had all just opened Pandora’s box. This selfish little monster inside me has been unleashed. For perhaps the first time in my life, I was doing something completely and utterly for me.
He tilted his head and I tilted mine so we could go deeper. The longing poured out of him and into me, feeding my need, fanning these flames until any voices inside me were silenced under the roar of my heart.
I didn’t feel in control of my body. I grabbed him around his shoulders and neck then my hands slid across his firm sweaty chest and down to rub over his perfect six-pack. Dear God. If there ever was a heaven on Earth, I had just found it.
“Keir?” A female voice called, and I heard the sound of doors swinging.
Fuck. I tore my mouth away from his, trying to untangle from him, as he tried to untangle from me. Celeste stood, open-mouthed at the entrance.
“Celeste,” Keir said, “it’s…not what it looks like.”
I saw the flash of pain in her eyes as she stared first at him then at me. She turned and ran out of the gym, the double doors swinging behind her.
“Shit,” he said as he scrambled to his feet and ran out after her.
I felt like someone had just poured icy water all over me. He went after her. Keir went after Celeste. What did that mean?
I pushed myself numbly to my feet and fumbled through the doors. I couldn’t see him or her in the corridor, nor could I see any sign of which way they had gone. What now?
I wasn’t sure how, but I managed to find my way back to my room without being caught on any of the cameras. At least, I hoped I hadn’t been caught.
* * *
The seconds of that afternoon stretched out. I alternated between pacing my room and flinging myself to the window seat to peer out for any sign of Keir in the gardens. All the while my mind was whirring. Was Keir just going after Celeste to stop her from telling on us? Or was there something going on between them?
I wanted to leave my room and go looking for him. But what if I left and he came looking for me here? If I stayed here, he’d know where to find me. He’d come here, wouldn’t he?
But Keir didn’t show up. The afternoon bled into evening and soon it was time for dinner.
My eyes were peeled for Keir or Celeste as I made my way through the mansion, but I saw neither of them.
I walked into the dining room and jolted when I saw Drake already seated, his gaze falling upon me.
“Good,” he said. “You’re here.”
My heart almost gave out when I saw Celeste standing by him.
19
What had Celeste told Drake?
She flinched when she saw me, but she quickly looked away, her cheeks shading darker with color, refusing to meet my eye.
“Come sit down, Riko,” said Drake. He didn’t seem angry…
Celeste laid down a small plate beside him and my heart started again. She was here to serve us for dinner, not to ambush me with Drake. She turned away to the side table to get the silver serving tray.
I composed myself and walked to my chair. If she said anything to Drake about the kiss, then he wouldn’t be smiling at me, would he? He’d be throwing a plate at my head. Or this time, maybe even a knife.
I sat, my chair scraping horribly as I pulled it in. A terrible thought entered my brain like a knife. Just because she hadn’t told him didn’t mean she wouldn’t tell him.
“How was your day?” Drake asked me.
I got caught kissing your gardener by your maid, who just happens to be the one serving both of us dinner, but apart from that, nothing much, dear. Just the usual.
“It was fine,” I said.
I kept watching Celeste’s back until she turned around, at which point I looked forward, my gaze darting to her out of the corner of my eyes. I couldn’t read her. Or her intentions. What would she do?
“What did you do?” Drake asked, breaking into my thoughts.
Why was he being so attentive? He didn’t usually ask me this many questions. Did he know? He knew, didn’t he? Celeste told him.
But if he knew he wouldn’t be asking you questions, he’d be yelling.
He’s trying to lull you into a false sense of security.
Come on, Noriko, that isn’t his style. Relax or you’ll give yourself away.
I realized Drake was waiting for an answer. I opened my mouth and caught Celeste looking at me. She quickly looked away.
What did I do today? “I, um, just pottered around the house,” I said. “Read a book.”
“Really? Which one?”
“I, um…”
“It was that good, was it?”
She placed a bowl of vegetable soup in front of me.
“It really wasn’t worth commenting about at all,” I said as I stared at her. She refused to meet my eyes. “Thank you, Celeste,” I tried. She couldn’t very well ignore me when I was speaking to her, could she?
Was it my imagination or did her mouth pinch? Was that guilt over what she intended to do? Or anger that I had taken Keir from her? Or was she disgusted at me, a wife who kissed a man who wasn’t her husband?
“Just doing my job, miss,” she said stiffly.
Fear struck me cold in the heart. What did that mean? Did she mean she was just doing her job in serving me soup or that she was just doing her job because s
he was going to tell Drake? Dear God, I was going to go mad.
I wanted to scream at her, don’t say anything to Drake!
But I couldn’t, so I remained silent and begged her with my gazes, even as she avoided them as she finished laying out everything for our first course.
“You’re not eating,” Drake said, causing me to jump. I tore my eyes away from Celeste and focused on him. He frowned at me, as he studied me. “Are you alright?”
“Fine.”
“You seem flushed.”
“I’m fine.”
“Aren’t you hungry?”
“I am,” I said. I picked up my spoon, scooped up some soup and threw it into my mouth. Shit. Too hot. I hid my open-mouthed attempt at blowing the soup cool in-situ behind my napkin. Drake gave me an odd look, then went back to his dinner.
I went back to watching Celeste, who was pouring Drake a glass of wine and avoiding my eye contact.
Please God, let this dinner be over soon.
* * *
My head was a mess as I walked through the lonely corridors back to my room for the night. Drake got a call at the end of dinner − work, what else − so he went into a side room to take it, telling me to go up to my room and that he’d be there soon. Celeste was nowhere to be found so I had no chance to speak to her.
I almost screamed when a hand grabbed my arm and yanked me to the left into a side corridor. My breath stuck in my throat when I saw his familiar dark eyes staring intently at me, a finger pressed up against his thick soft lips. Oh, to be that finger.
“Keir,” I hissed, “What are you−?”
He shushed me and pulled me into a small alcove so we couldn’t be seen from the main corridor. It was a small space here, made even smaller by the large ornamental vase standing proudly in the center. I was right up against him, his solid, hard body crowding me, one of his arms leaning up against the wall above my head, the other on my side keeping me tucked into this corner. All my cells buzzed with electricity and I started to feel hot.
“Don’t worry,” he said, “there are no cameras down this hall. I won’t be long. I just I needed to see to you.”
“You ran off without a word. I didn’t know what to think.”
“I know. I’m sorry for that. I need to talk to her, to make sure she wouldn’t tell anyone what she saw.”
“And?”
“Everything’s okay. I spoke to her. She won’t tell Drake.”
“Why did she run?”
“She was just shocked, that was all.”
“How can you be sure she’s telling you the truth?”
“She’s a friend of mine. I trust her. If she said she won’t tell him, then she won’t tell him.”
“Just friends?”
“Just friends.”
“So there’s nothing going on between you two?” I asked, trying to hide the fierce possessiveness rearing inside me.
“There’s nothing going on between me and Celeste.”
“Did you two ever…?”
A sly smile drew across his face. “You’re jealous.”
“Am not.”
“If you’re not jealous, then it doesn’t matter whether there was or wasn’t anything going on.”
“So there was?”
“I didn’t say that.”
Fire flared inside me. Somehow I managed to squeeze a hand up between us so I could shove my finger in his face. “Listen here, if you think that I’m just some−”
He brushed his lips across the end of my finger and my brain short-circuited. “Noriko,” he said, his breath swirling against my fingertip, “there is not nor has there ever been nor ever will there be anything between Celeste and me. Is that clear enough for you?”
“But you know she wants you, right?”
“I know,” he said softly. “But I want someone else.”
“Oh… Who?”
My breath caught in my throat as his warm, wet mouth closed over my entire finger. He drew back, sucking lightly, his tongue dragging along my fingerprint, sending sparks of sensation down my arm, and a hot, sharp stab of need right between my legs. I stifled a moan.
My finger popped from his mouth and I missed it instantly. His eyes flicked down to my lips and the longing in them tied my stomach into a knot. I sucked in oxygen. I needed more air. No, screw breathing. I didn’t need air, I needed his lips on my lips.
I leaned in, our breaths mingling. “Keir…kiss−”
His eyes went wide and he clamped a hand over my mouth, pressing us further into the alcove. I held my breath. He held his. The air in the alcove grew uncomfortably still and I started to sweat, beads forming in the small of my back.
I had lost my mind. What was I doing trying to kiss Keir in the very halls where my husband walked? If we got caught now, there was no amount of clever-talk that could get me out of this.
Finally he relaxed. His fingertips traced my lips as he pulled his hand away. His eyes darted up the corridor and back to me, the corners of his eyes crinkled with concern. “Look, you better go. It’s not safe for us to…talk here.”
“Yes, you’re right.”
He swallowed. He was still gazing at my face, from my eyes to my mouth then back. He looked for a second like he might not let me go. “You…you should go first.”
“Right.”
I slid out from him, my body flaring with heat as my breasts brushed against his solid chest. Before I could do anything stupid, I turned and walked away.
As I turned the corner into the main corridor, I looked back. He was still watching me, his face half hidden behind the alcove. My scalp tingled at his gaze. I gave him a brief smile and forced myself to keep walking.
20
Later that night I still couldn’t forget what Keir had said to me in the gym after he finished his routine. You inspired me, Noriko. You make me believe that anything is possible. You are my muse.
He created a whole routine inspired by me. No man had ever done anything like that in my life.
I picked at a loose thread on my bed and watched the shadow of my head moving against the sheets. I didn’t even get a chance to tell him how much that meant to me. First we were interrupted and then in the alcove…
My mind flashed back to how distracting Keir was in the alcove and how utterly impossible it was to think properly with his beautiful soft mouth and his wet tongue all over the end of my finger. My body flooded with heat.
It had been the single most erotic moment of my life. I wanted it again. I wanted more of it. I wanted his mouth on my neck, and on my stomach and…lower. My core clenched and I couldn’t help a soft moan at the thought of his tongue right there where it burned for him.
My bed thumped against the wall, distracting me from my thoughts. Behind me, Drake groaned as his hips rammed into me hard and fast. He was coming.
When he finished he disposed of the condom as usual. I readjusted my bra and tugged up my underwear from around my knees. He pulled me loosely against him and we lay together, both staring at the ceiling.
I had an idea. An idea. It sat in my belly like a flutter of butterflies.
“Drake, can I have sewing materials?”
“Why?”
“I want to make some clothes.”
He laughed. “I can buy you whatever clothes you want.”
As I stared up at him I felt my belly clench with pity. He didn’t get it, did he? He would never get it. “It’s nothing you can buy me.”
His thick eyebrows pressed further and further down. “Then we’ll get it made for you. No wife of mine needs to work a day of her life.”
I sighed deeply and fought the urge to roll my eyes. “It’s not about working. I need something to do with my days. I need an outlet, something creative to do with my time. I love to sew and before I came here I would sew clothes for my sisters. Please, just a needle, a few spools of thread and some yards of material will do.”
He grabbed my hand and kissed the back of it. “I’ll see what I can do.”
* * *
The next day after breakfast I raced down to the gardens, desperate to see Keir. I felt light and bright inside, my feet barely touching the ground. I found him near the western wall, digging a hole. Young trees lay on their sides in a pile near him, their roots growing in the shape of the pot that they used to sit in.
I was about to yell out to him when I saw a second khaki-clad figure. Fernando was there working with him. Keir spotted me. But his father hadn’t. Not yet.
Keir shook his head and waved his hand. Fernando looked up to him. I ducked behind a bush, hoping he hadn’t seen me. I crept back along the paths to the house, my stomach feeling like the bottom had been cut out of it.
My feet were heavy as I trudged up the stairs to my room. I had wanted to see Keir so much. Damn his father for being there with him today. Today of all wretched days.
Frustration itched my insides like a swarm of ants and all day I couldn’t sit still. I fidgeted and fidgeted until I thought I might go mad.
* * *
That evening Drake appeared at my room. I was sitting with my legs up on my window seat.
“I have something for you,” he said.
“Great.” I didn’t even turn my head towards him.
“Riko?” I heard Drake’s footsteps as he crossed my bedroom towards me. He took my hands and pulled me up to my feet. Only then did I look up at him. “What’s wrong?”
“I…” I could say that it was the sheer disappointment over not being able to spend today with Keir; I soared so high with hope to see him that when I couldn’t, I fell too far. But it wasn’t just that. Today, for once, I had allowed myself to feel the bars that held me. I felt the chill radiating from the cage that seemed to close even tighter and tighter around me.
“It’s nothing,” I said to Drake. At least, nothing, you would ever understand.
“I have something for you,” he said again. “I think it will cheer you up.”
I tried a smile. “What is it?”
