"Is that what you meant when you said he gets lost?" I asked in John's ear.
"He's not a fan of humans, like most of the elders. He even thinks the hunter is human somehow. He only came here because his daughter practically dragged him," he said in a whisper.
"But it’s understandable. It must have been harder for them. Imagine spending your entire life in one place and having to virtually flee from there?”
John nodded and we looked at Torim again.
"What I'm trying to say is that this moment is to remember his best. And despite the way he was taken from us, remember why you loved him and keep the good memories in your minds, because he won’t be forgotten. Isys!” Torim shouted.
I looked at Isys in surprise. She looked frightened, but soon she let go of my hand and walked through the crowd. She walked as if she was familiarized to the process. She stopped between the body and Rogi and Torim. Zal left where he was, but not before quickly pulling the sheet from Niko's face and kissing his forehead.
He stood beside Isys, the two sharing the same expression. They held hands and Zal nodded at her, as if giving permission. Isys reached out and quickly dropped a ball of fire toward the white sheet. In seconds, the flames took over the entire body and became loud and threatening. Isys looked at them as if they were her safe place. Torim now kept his head down and his hands together.
"It's a dark time for us," Rogi began to speak as he stood where Torim had been. "If we were in Pacem, our skies would be filled with red smoke. We failed with the six dead Pacenians, but make no mistake, Niko was the last one. We will find who did this and he will pay. To Niko!”
Everyone repeated "To Niko" in chorus and the conversations resumed quickly. Zal sat on a lounger and watched the body burn. In all the time I watched him, I didn’t see him move an inch. He seemed paralyzed with an inner realization. Grace and Rogi came to talk to us, but soon they went back to where they were. Isys was still close to Zal, staring at the flames in silence. People passed with trays and appetizers and drinks constantly, never leaving anyone with empty hands.
“What do you think?” John asked after a while, watching the crowd.
"It's quite different from a place full of people dressed in black crying. But somehow, I feel like it’s familiar, you know? I know it's different from a normal funeral, which I'm used to, but it's not strange to me in anyway. It's that crazy?”
"No, I get it. As soon as our mind opens to the different, the different becomes familiar.”
"Something like that," I said, smiling.
Now no one seemed to cry. Everyone talked, even smiled. Most of the talk you could hear was some story about Niko. He really wouldn’t be forgotten. Suddenly I looked at the time and I was startled. Almost 11 p.m.
"It's getting late," I said as I put away my phone. "I should go."
"You can stay the night, if you like," John suggested with a charming smile on his face.
"No, I told Grandma I'd come home.”
"You can call her” he insisted, widening his smile and touching my arm lightly.
The second I started considering it, I remembered the discovery earlier and brushed the idea out of my mind. Could I hide what I had discovered? Most likely. But even so I couldn’t risk spending the night here.
Seeing Eimée sneaking around and always watching me only made me answer faster.
"I don’t think so," I said.
The last thing I needed now were those thoughts about John in my head and staying in the same place as him, all at the same time. And Liam with his constant expression of anger when he saw us together was no help at all. This wasn’t a good time to discover — or perhaps admit — that I like John.
I walked over to where Zal and Isys were to say goodbye before I left. Zal was still seated, with Isys on the edge of the chair.
"Guys, I need to go," I said, stooping down to meet his eyes. "Zal, I'm sorry for everything. The ceremony was really beautiful. But I bet you just want to break something, huh?”
Everyone started laughing, including Zal. He took my hand lightly and smiled at me as if in appreciation. He closed his smile and his face became dark again. I could tell he didn’t want to let himself smile. His eyes showed that the guilt lay there, strong and persistent.
"Anyway, be well, okay?” I continued. "From the little I knew him, I saw that he was a very happy person. I'm sure having you in his life was one of the reasons for all that joy.”
Zal nodded slowly, tears streaming down his face. While he hid his face trying not to let us see him crying, I hugged him, also pulling Isys into the embrace.
“Be strong. For Zal and the others," I said quietly, just for Isys to listen. “We'll catch whoever did this.”
I was beginning to get used to this little show of affection, which to me had always seemed strange. The most difficult moments required us to decide what to do next. It was the classic "fight or flight". Each of those people gave me the feeling of family, and the decision to fight wasn’t difficult at all. My parents had made the same decision years before and I didn’t dare — or wanted — to make a different one. I belonged with those people, fighting to keep everyone safe.
I was saying goodbye to everyone quickly as I passed. Some would pull me into a hug, — Grace, for example, — and others would wave casually as if I were going to be here for breakfast. To my happiness, Liam wasn’t among them. Or Eimée. We left the lawn and returned through the same door to the hotel entrance.
"Do you want me to drive you?" John asked standing in the doorway.
"Why would I want that?" I asked, and for a second I didn’t really understand the question. It was as if I momentarily forgot this mean of transportation. As if disappearing from one place and reappearing in another with John was the usual and I had used it all my life.
"I don’t know," he refuted, looking confused. "Don’t you?"
"As you said, the different is now familiar," I replied, smiling and placing my hand on his shoulder.
He smiled and took my hand gently. I waited for the tingling sensation, but he took a step forward, standing just inches away from me. His hands moved slowly around my waist, pulling me even closer to him. I felt my heart racing and I prayed he wouldn’t notice. I thought about telling him how I really felt, but soon I was afraid. What if it wasn’t reciprocal? It's not like I could just stop seeing him. I left the idea there and promised myself I'd forget it. I rested my hand lightly on his shoulder and we appeared in the kitchen of my house.
“Jesus Christ, boy!”
Grandma jumped from the seat where she sat, frightened to see us coming out of nowhere. I took my hand from John's shoulder quickly as Grandma puffed her hand over her chest, her eyes closed.
"Mrs. Wyght, I'm sorry," John said, blushing with embarrassment.
"You two are still going to scare me to death," Grandma almost screamed. “Oh my!”
John's respect, or fear — I hadn’t yet discovered — of Grandma was adorable. He shifted shamefully from side to side, making it clear he just wanted to get away. Grandma looked at us with a look of anger, which made John redder still. As he tried to open his mouth to form a word and close it at once, I laughed for a few more seconds before intervening.
“Sorry, Grandma. I didn’t know we'd get in the kitchen," I said, scolding John with a look and making him more uneasy. "And I thought you were asleep already."
"I didn’t want to go to sleep without you being home," she said looking oddly at John.
“Sorry for being late.”
“What were you doing?” Grandma asked as if there was a different air between us. Like she was suspicious of something.
I looked at John suddenly feeling a wave of panic. I couldn’t tell Grandma about Niko. I didn’t know what she could do. Surely it would worry her, but what if she decided I couldn’t go back to the hotel? Or that I could no longer have any contact with the Pacenians? I couldn’t risk it. John caught my eye and seemed to understand the hint.
"M
rs. Wyght, I'm sorry, it was my fault," he said, returning to normal; a crooked smile on his face and interested eyes. “I made Liz lose track of time. You know, Pacem's history, the Chosen Ones and all that.”
"Right" Grandma said with an arched eyebrow, watching John closely. "And it's Mary, not Mrs. Wyght."
Even though she was still scowling, mixed with her frightening expression dedicated only to scare John, Grandma seemed to believe. I felt my muscles relax and thanked John internally. Lying to Grandma left me with a strange feeling in my stomach, but in this situation, lying was the best I could do.
"Liz, I'll see you later," he said, resuming his obvious desire to leave.
“All right. See you," I said, smiling.
John nodded at Grandma, smiling embarrassedly, touched my arm lightly, and disappeared. Grandma's eyes looked at the small curtain of smoke that hung in the air and kept a curious glow. Her expression was priceless. She kept staring at the wall that only a second before wasn’t visible, since it had John blocking it. I tried to giggle so she wouldn’t turn her attention to me and start asking questions.
"Aarion told me stories about the Chosen Ones and their powers, but seeing it live is completely different," Grandma said when, a few minutes later, she shut her mouth and stopped staring.
"I know," I said, laughing. "But you get used to it.”
She shifted her attention to me, a neutral expression returning to her face.
"I'm still going to have a lot of fun with that kid," Grandma said, smiling. “He’s scared to death of me.”
“Grandma!” I was sure now that the fright of anger had passed. “Leave the poor guy alone. I think it's lovely.”
"Of course you do," she said, raising her eyebrows conspiratorially.
“What does that mean?”
"Nothing," she said, and opened her mouth to speak again, but said nothing more.
I frowned at her for a few seconds trying to figure out what she meant. She never held on when she really wanted to tell me something. Was she suspicious that something had happened? I started to feel nervous and decided to get out of there as quickly as possible before she asked any questions.
"Okay, I'm going to bed," I said, trying to disguise the nervousness with a smile that I'm sure came out a little weird, starting to leave the kitchen.
"You don’t want something to eat?"
"No, I'm not hungry.”
Grandma now looked at me suspiciously. She examined every inch of my face as if she were going to find a clue. Not as if he already knew anything and sought only confirmation. Blood splatters from a murder I committed, maybe. She knew I was hiding something. Damn it. Am I that easy to read? I knew it wasn’t, but Grandma had experience and knew me better than I knew myself.
“What’s the problem?” I asked, trying to make my voice sound as innocent as possible.
"You look different," she said, now looking at me harder.
After a few more seconds of analysis, her expression rested on a small smile of gratitude.
“Ah!” she said. "You must’ve finally figured it out.”
“Figured it what out?” I asked, confused by the course of the conversation and relieved that it wasn’t what I thought. She didn’t know about Niko's death.
"You have feelings for John," she said softly.
“What?!” I said, my eyes widening.
"Darling, I know you're in love with him. You may think you’re mysterious, but you don’t fool me.” Grandma looked at me with a smile. "Every now and then, I'll catch you smiling. Out of the blue. Just smiling. That was unheard of a few months ago. You know, you didn’t tell me he was going to the diner every day. But I knew. I knew by your way. And the way you look at him? I recognize that look. It was the same look I saw in the mirror staring back at me when I was with Aarion. Before I thought you were the only one who hadn’t noticed, but then I realized that deep down you knew. But it seems that Liam affected you more than you let it show.”
I looked at Grandma with a sad look. I knew deep down that it was true, but it was hard to hear.
"Why didn’t you tell him?" Grandma asked.
“I don’t know.”
"Do you think he doesn’t feel the same way?"
"Grandma, I don’t know.”
"I've seen the way he looks at you, too. You can be sure that he feels the same way. Liz, do you really think all this time that he spent looking out for is just because he was told to do it? And why did he tell you the whole truth, even though he knew he shouldn’t?” She looked at me suspiciously. "So what's the real reason you didn’t tell him?"
“Because I'm scared!” I said louder than I wanted. The words came out quickly, leaving me no alternative but to speak the truth. "I never want to feel the way I felt when Liam disappeared, Grandma. I couldn’t stand it.”
Grandma looked at me and I saw the corners of her eyes fall. I felt a twinge in my stomach as I realized she was feeling sorry for me.
"And you think John would do that to you?" She asked, hiding her pitying expression.
“No” I said. "But I didn’t think Liam would either. Each one is right one until it isn’t, right?’
Finally putting this out made me feel good. I felt better. And worse. I just wanted to leave all this drama behind. And again, the timing couldn’t be worse. I had just met my people. I had to focus on that. And that was what I was going to do.
"You can’t hide from it forever, my dear.”
"Grandma, I'm not ready.
“And what are you going to do?”
"Ignore it until it passes," I said firmly. “It usually works.”
I placed a kiss on Grandma's forehead and went straight up to my room.
CHAPTER FIVE
It took me a while to fall a sleep last night. I spent a few hours thinking about Niko, Zal, the hunter, and John too. When I woke up, it was almost 11 o'clock in the morning, I sat on the bed looking out the window, the thoughts of what happened yesterday quickly returning to my mind. I still didn’t believe Niko was really dead. I think the thought hasn't sunk in yet. I got up slowly and went straight to the bathroom to brush my teeth and wash my face. My hair was rebellious, so I tied it roughly in a bun so I wouldn’t have to let it loose.
I went down for coffee and Grandma was finishing making a pie. She kept quiet as I sat in my usual place across the counter. I poured coffee into a cup and drank it silently, glancing at her from time to time.
"Are you going to the hotel today?" She asked after a long silence.
"I don’t know," I said, watching the black liquid move slowly in the cup. “I don’t think I will. I have to work.”
Grandma put toast with butter in front of me, standing there and staring at me. I had the feeling she was worried about me.
“What’s the problem?” I asked, taking a toast.
"Nothing," she replied, turning to the other counter.
"Come on, Grandma," I insisted, pulling out a piece of toast. “You can tell me.”
"Are you going to let that kid keep messing with your head?" She said in one breath. It seemed like she wanted to say it for a long time, but was holding on.
“Liam?” I asked actually surprised; I was doing a good job forgetting about it.
“Yes! You can’t let him continue to disrupt your life.”
"Grandma, please, I don’t want to think about it any more. Yeah, I like John, and yes, I'm still hurt over Liam, but I also just found out that I have a big family. I want to focus on that.”
“Fine. But you know, life doesn’t wait for you. If you don’t start living it, one day you'll regret having wasted time.” Grandma took my hand. "You know I only say this because I want to see you happy again, right?"
"I know, Grandma," I said, smiling.
"All right." She smiled and squeezed my hand lightly. “I'm going to Agnes's house.”
“What are you going to do there?”
"She invited some people to start a book club," she said, wiping her hands on he
r apron and covering the pie on the counter.
“That's good, Grandma! You always wanted to start a book club, didn’t you? I'm sure it's going to be fun.”
“I know it will. It's just an excuse to drink wine by day, "she said, smiling.
I smiled back and Grandma gave me a kiss on the cheek. She left saying she didn’t’ know what time she was coming home. I finished eating quickly and went up to my room to read a little. It was a great way to distract myself from everything that was going on. I took the first book I saw and sat in the middle of the bed.
A few minutes passed, and I was lying down, holding the book over my face. From time to time I had to reread a whole page when my head drifted to other subjects. John, Niko, Liam, Pacem. I had only read four pages so far.
I heard the front door slamming downstairs and I sat up in bed in shock. I looked out the window to see if it was windy, but no. The leaves were as still as I was. I got out of bed slowly and stood at the top of the stairs, looking reluctantly down.
“Grandma?” I asked, hoping she would answer.
Nothing. That was enough for my heart to start racing. I put the book on the bed and started down the stairs, one foot at a time, at a slow pace. When I reached the last step, I stopped in front of the door; between the kitchen and the living room. I looked carefully to both sides to make sure there was no one there.
"Grandma, are you there?" I asked, my voice starting to shake.
Still nothing. I looked at the floor and saw some dry leaves coming from the front door, as if someone had come in and brought them in their shoes. My breath was now heavy, a strong uneasiness beginning to take over me. I stood there for a moment, wondering what to do. I walked slowly toward the kitchen, determined to take something heavy — probably a pan — to defend myself if I had to.
The moment I entered the kitchen, I felt a presence behind me. I tried to turn around, but it was too late. The person grabbed me from behind, by the neck, and started to squeeze. I tried to take the hands away from where they were, but it was in vain. I felt my pulse rise, and at that moment it was all I felt. I tried to move, but the hands were still closed.
The Chosen Ones: Red Smoke Page 8
