Cassidy’s apartment building was nice. Clean and modern, at least. She was on the eighth floor and we stepped out of the elevator into a long brightly light hallway, with cream-colored walls and wooden floors. At the end of the hall, she unlocked her door and ushered me inside.
High ceilings and a large, open-plan living room and kitchen greeted me first. The couch was soft looking, and I knew I’d made the right choice. I couldn’t wait to cuddle. Wait, what? Just where the hell had that thought come from? “Do you live alone?” I asked, clearing my throat.
“No, I share with two other girls. Both nurses.” Cassidy shrugged. “I’d kill for my own space, but it’s not so bad. We all work crazy hours, so it’s not like we’re tripping over each other all the time or anything.”
I nodded. “I like it. It’s nice here.” At first it wasn’t obviously a girl’s apartment. There was very little clutter, no vases of flowers or artwork on the walls like every other chick’s place I’d been in. And I’d been in a lot. No pictures scattered on every surface. I guessed it came with their hectic jobs.
She motioned toward the couch. “Sit down and take your shoe off. I’ll get some ice.”
Ah, ice. Ice sounded good. Great, even. I dropped onto the middle of the couch and took off my sneaker as though it was a bomb that could explode at any moment. My sock followed with similar care and precision. I hissed in a breath, fully expecting to see my toes mangled beyond belief with no alternative course of treatment but full amputation.
Cassidy sat on the coffee table in front of the couch and placed the supplies she’d brought with her beside her. She waved her hand toward my foot. “Let me see.”
“Be careful,” I said quietly, lifting my foot and easing it onto her lap. My little toe throbbed, hot and pulsing like it had its own heartbeat.
She smiled and lifted her eyebrows. “I never had you down for being such a big baby.”
I gasped. “I am not.”
Cassidy dropped her eyes back to my foot and started her careful examination. She was gentle and meticulous. It made me wish I’d kicked the goddamn thing harder so it would take her longer. “It looks like your little toe is broken. The others may develop some bruising, but it shouldn’t be bad.”
“That’s it?” I asked, leaning forward to check, as if I’d gone to medical school and knew just what the hell I would be looking for.
“That’s it,” she confirmed.
“Don’t I need a hospital or something? Shit, will I need crutches?” That would make getting around the club a real pain in the ass. But I suspected it would thrill my staff to no end.
Cassidy smiled. “No. I’m going to tape it to the next toe. It will act as a splint and let it heal. It’ll probably hurt for a day or two, but nothing terrible. Take some acetaminophen if you feel like you need it.”
I sighed and slumped back against the couch cushions. “Man. I cannot catch a break tonight.”
Cassidy didn’t look up as she tucked some cotton wool between my little toe and its neighbor and started to tape them together. “It’s not so bad. It’ll heal in a few weeks or so.”
“No, I mean, I broke my pinky toe? Who the hell does that? I couldn’t have broken something bigger? More macho? My big toe at least?” A wussy injury. If one of the guys had done it, I’d about piss my pants laughing at him.
She laughed quietly. “You’re complaining because you’re not hurt worse?” Cassidy shook her head. “You’re an idiot.”
“Yeah, I hear that a lot.”
“Done.” Cassidy gently lowered my foot to the floor. She moved to the other end of the couch and started making a small pile of cushions. She patted it and I took the cue to rest my foot on them. An ice pack followed and Nurse Cassidy discharged her patient.
I settled down into the couch, taking care not to move my leg too much and risk upsetting my poor, shattered pinky toe. “Thank you. Now, can you pretend I mangled my entire leg or something? And give me whatever sympathy that would warrant?”
She smiled and I knew my request wasn’t going to be denied. “What’s wrong with broken-toe sympathy?”
“Because I think I’ve had it all.”
Cassidy laughed again. She picked up the remote from the coffee table and handed it to me. “Fine. I’ll allow the patient a smidge more sympathy than his injury needs. TV choice is yours for thirty minutes.”
“That’s it?” I cried.
She sighed and sat down on the couch. “Put your head on my lap—but any filthy comments and I’ll kick your ass out. I’ll stroke your hair.”
Okay, little weird. But…strangely appealing. The longer I thought about it, the more it sounded like patient care I could get into. Not that I would voice any such remarks, for fear of getting my ass thrown out. I settled for a saucy wink that I knew she would interpret as everything I wanted to, but wouldn’t, say. I shifted down the couch until I could rest my head in her lap. As soon as I was comfortable, Cassidy started to run her fingers through my hair.
And, fuck me, it felt good.
Her nails scraped against my scalp and it took everything in me to not fucking purr. I felt boneless, languid. More relaxed that I had in a while. If she wasn’t careful, I’d steal this girl and never let her go.
“So…can I ask what happened with dinner?” Cassidy asked, her voice calm—neutral, like she was asking about last night’s episode of whatever people watched on TV these days.
My body was not boneless. It was not languid. It was tense and hard and wanted to disappear out the door. “Me and Blake got into a fight.” I shrugged and hoped it came across as uncaring. “No big deal. We fight all the time.”
Cassidy’s strokes faltered and I knew that I hadn’t fooled her one little bit.
I waited for the questions—for her to call me on my bullshit. It never came and maybe that gave me the confidence to release the breath I hadn’t been aware of holding. I rolled onto my back, the ice pack slipping from my foot and hitting the floor with a thud. I didn’t meet her eyes as I said, “It was obvious from the second we sat down that my genius plan wouldn’t work.”
“It’s that bad between them now?” Cassidy asked, her voice soft, like she was scared of spooking me into silence.
“Worse. Way worse than I thought. I figured if I could get them to sit down together and eat a meal, they’d be forced to remember why they’re together in the first place. All they do lately is avoid each other. Now I’m starting to think it’s because they both know something big is coming, and they might not survive it.” I focused on the feel of Cass’ hand on me. She pushed the hair from my forehead, stroked the frown lines smooth. “We’d barely started eating when I knew it wouldn’t work. So I gave them something else to focus on—me.”
Cassidy ran her thumb across my eyebrow. “What do you mean?”
“If they were going to fight, I could give them something to fight about together. Blake’s been on my ass since I got back, the same stupid shit over and over again from years ago that doesn’t even really apply anymore. I poked at his temper. Shouldn’t really have been surprised when he let it blow.”
“Sounds self-destructive. In a weird, but selfless sort of way. What did you do to push his buttons?”
“I asked to borrow Marley’s car to take you out on a date.”
Cassidy stilled her hand. “And then what?”
“And then Mount Blake erupted.”
She shifted beneath me, pushed at my shoulders until I took the hint and sat up. When I twisted around to face her, her eyebrows were pulled into a frown. “Are you seriously telling me you got into a huge fight with your brother because you asked to borrow a car?”
When she put it like that, it sounded like the stupidest thing in the world. “Yeah. Well, sort of. It was more like the catalyst. He doesn’t trust me not to wreck it. To him I’ll always been the same seventeen-year-old screw-up who doesn’t give a shit about anything but himself.”
“People grow up. People change,” she said, s
oftly.
“Everyone except me, so it seems. To my big brother, I’ll always be Peter Pan. And nothing will change until I prove him wrong, prove that I’m different and not the same stupid asshole I used to be. But the fucked-up thing is, he won’t give me a chance to prove myself.” I shook my head, all at once exhausted. I’d enjoyed replaying the fight about as much as I’d enjoyed it in live action.
“Fuck him,” Cassidy said.
I snapped my eyes up to look at her, surprised by the sudden fierceness in her voice.
“Seriously,” she insisted. “Fuck him. And his high horse.”
Snorting a laugh, I caught her leg and tugged her closer to me. “That’s the sweetest thing a girl has ever said to me. I’m going to get it printed on a T-shirt.”
Cassidy rolled her eyes. “You’re so weird. How are you not as pissed as I am right now?”
“Because you make everything better.” The words were out before I’d even thought of them. Raking my gaze over Cass’ face, I searched for any sign the she was freaked out by what I’d said. We barely knew each other. And she was still getting to know the real Seth Hamilton. Declarations like that were usually reserved for long-term couples who were committed. Or so I’d heard. I wouldn’t know from personal experience.
I’d probably terrified her—freaked her out at the very least. But I couldn’t bring myself to make a joke and downplay what I’d said. Right now, in my life, Cassidy did make everything better. And dammit, I wanted her to know that.
“Well,” she said, a flush staining her cheeks. “I am a nurse. It’s sort of my job.”
“I like it when you’re my nurse. When I make my millions, I’ll build a hospital for you. With one bed—mine. You’ll have to see to my needs every day for as long as I live.” I grinned and leaned into her.
Cassidy lifted her eyebrows and placed her hands on my chest. Not to stop me, to tug me closer. “Sounds perfect. When I kill you off after a day, maybe two if you’re not a total pain in the ass, I’ll have my very own hospital and give myself a big fat paycheck.”
“Sounds like you’ve got it all figured out,” I said, pulling her down underneath me and covering her body with mine.
“If you want to take over the world, you’ve got to have a solid plan.” Cassidy threw her arm around my neck.
I laughed and dipped my head to kiss her once. “You’re goal-oriented. I like it.”
“Surprising, for a slacker like you.” She lifted up to kiss me again.
“Haven’t you heard? I’m a changed man,” I mumbled against her lips and slid my hand under her sweater.
Cassidy arched into my touch, coming alive beneath me. She slid her leg out from under me and hooked it around my lower back. I nestled between her thighs, my dick aligning with her core like I was made to fit there. She was soft where I was hard, and I wanted in that softness. I wanted to feel the slick heat of her cunt, to bury myself in her for days, until our bodies gave out from starvation or exhaustion.
“I’m beginning to believe that,” Cassidy whispered low in her throat. She darted her tongue out, teasing the seam of my lips.
With a groan, I caught her in a hard kiss. Her lips parted, allowing me access to that luscious mouth. She kissed me back with just as much fervor as I gave, both of us competing for the same prize.
My control was forgotten. It was so far beyond my reach I couldn’t even remember what it was anymore. All that mattered was right in front of me—Cassidy, beneath me, moving against my body and wanting me as badly as I wanted her.
I pulled back to shove the sweater from her body. The thin T-shirt she wore beneath it was next. No bra…Jesus. Her tits bounced from the fierceness of my action. Round, natural and so perfect I wanted to feel them every day of my life.
Her nipples stiffened, becoming hard little pebbles and darkening in color. I palmed one breast, rolling the nipple between my thumb and forefinger. Cassidy moaned and shifted beneath me, grinding her hips into mine and sending us both into insanity.
I kissed her again, thrusting my tongue inside her mouth the way I wanted to fuck her. Grasping her yoga pants, I started to peel the clothing down her hips.
Cassidy stilled. She caught my wrists, stopping me from undressing her any further. “Seth.”
“What?” I asked, dropping my head to take one rosy nipple into my mouth.
“Seth, stop.”
The words sent ice-cold panic down my spine. I didn’t move for a few seconds, stunned into frozen immobility. I hadn’t been alone in this…had I? Until a few seconds ago, she’d been mewling like a sex-starved inmate on her first conjugal visit. Unless I’d imagined the whole thing. Maybe my own lust had clouded what was true and I’d only seen what I wanted to see.
Cassidy pushed against my chest and I sat up, moving farther down the couch to give her some space. She pulled on her T-shirt and adjusted her pants that rode low on her hips. “Seth, I don’t live alone. You might not have been worried that night at your place about someone walking in on us, but I’m not into exhibitionism.”
I scrubbed a hand over my face. Man, I was an oblivious asshole. “I’m sorry. I guess I wasn’t thinking.”
“It didn’t seem like you were thinking much about anything,” Cassidy said, her voice gentle and not at all pissed beyond belief like most girls would have been at my blatant disrespect for her and her roommates. Well, not the girls I usually went home with. Some of those girls wouldn’t have batted an eye if a football stadium had seen us having sex. But Cassidy wasn’t like that.
“What do you mean?” I asked, furrowing my eyebrows in confusion.
Cassidy blew out a breath and seemed to choose her words carefully. “I just mean that you seemed to be trying your hardest to not think about anything.”
I stood and started to pace around the coffee table. A shot of pain licked up my foot and I settled for a decisive stance with my hands on my hips. “I know I’m new to this whole thing, but I don’t think any guy would have a fucking clue what you’re trying to say right now.”
She didn’t bite back as I expected. Instead, Cassidy crossed her legs at the knee and stared at me with her big blue eyes. “If you have no idea, why are you getting so defensive?”
I huffed out a breath. “Maybe because I’ve got a nagging feeling you’re about to psychoanalyze me again.”
“I’m not. I was only going to tell you how it seemed to me.”
My lips curled into a cold smile. Well, wasn’t this just perfect? Cassidy was the dream girl I’d never known I’d dreamed about…but for all intents and purposes, she was still a female with a probing mind and dumb-ass theories. “And how did it seem, since you’re so clearly the expert?”
At that, Cassidy rolled her eyes. I’d say her bullshit tolerance was fast depleting. “I think you were—are—upset about the fight with your brother. And you were going to use me to feel better about it.”
My eyebrows shot up into my hairline. “That’s it? Well, shit, what’s wrong with that? You have seen you, right?”
“And it doesn’t seem at all strange to you that maybe I wouldn’t want to be used like that?”
What short relief I’d felt faced a firing squad and was blown to hell and back. I really was an asshole. What the hell was she doing? Why hadn’t she kicked my ass out of her life yet? “I didn’t think about it like that.”
“That’s what I mean,” Cassidy said, her eyes softening. “You weren’t thinking, Seth. I don’t think you were even here with me.”
I sighed again and hobbled back to the couch to drop down beside her again. “Is this the part where you do psychoanalyze me?”
She nudged me with her elbow, her lips twitching in amusement. “Maybe just a little. You told me you’ve never had a real relationship, right? I don’t think you know what it’s like to have a woman comfort you without her using her body to do it. And I also think sex is sort of like your comfort blanket. You were out with friends tonight. You could have blown off some steam in the bar
with them. Instead you came to my apartment and within minutes of being here, you tried to have sex with me.”
“Okay, let’s just stop right there,” I said, holding up my hands to interrupt her. “I get where you’re coming from, and I can understand why you think that way. But I came here because I wanted to see you, not because I planned on trying to get my dick wet.”
She snorted a laugh. “You’re a real wordsmith, Seth. Seriously. And I believe you. But even you have to admit how you reacted after we started talking about the fight.”
Well, she had me there, I guess. “Yeah, okay, so I might have started kissing you so we could shut the hell up. I don’t like talking about my family, especially with you. I’m on a hard enough challenge in trying to convince you that I’m actually a good guy without throwing in proof that my own blood thinks I’m an idiot.”
“So just tell me you don’t want to talk about it. Or tell me you’re sick of thinking and you want me to distract you.”
“What?” I asked, my mind spinning. This girl was a fucking Rubik’s Cube if I ever met one. “But you just said—”
She grinned. “I know exactly what I said and you’re missing the point. I don’t want to be used by anyone, least of all by you. I’m happy to make you think about nothing but me. But I need you present to do it. I refuse to be anyone’s warm body.”
She was right. Dammit, she was right. I’d wanted nothing more than to sink into oblivion between her thighs. To shut out the world and lose myself in her body. “It was you I wanted. You were not just a warm body. I had enough chances of those back at the bar.”
Cassidy made a choking noise as she looked at me in disbelief. “I’ve no idea whether or not to be reassured by that.”
I frowned in confusion. “What? That I had the chance to hook up with a random girl and chose not to?” How in the hell could that not reassure her? “I get that this is early days for us still, but if I wanted to screw around, I wouldn’t be doing this with you, Cass. I’m an asshole, but I’m not a prick.”
“I like the distinction,” Cassidy said, her voice sardonic. “But thank you for your honesty.”
Secrets, Lies & Imperfections Page 14
