by Rye Hart
“Welcome home.”
“This is my home?” I said, sounding rather disappointed.
“Yes, madam.”
My chest tightened a bit and I looked up at the grand porch, taking in the find architecture and southern inspired touches. The family who owned this house had clearly originally been from the South. It was far too familiar for my taste.
I picked the hem of my dress up and walked to the stairs, leaving the driver behind. As I approached the door, I raised my hand to knock but it opened before I could. A man stood in the doorway, wearing a fine suit that was clearly in fashion. It wasn’t old or worn or anything that I had expected.
The man who stood before me was clean shaven, his blonde hair swept back out of his face. His piercing grey eyes seemed to look right into my soul and I turned my head from the intensity. He was the first to speak, breaking my stunned silence.
“Welcome, you must be Rebecca.”
“Yes I am.”
“Very good. You arrived on time,” he said, nodding to the driver and letting him inside. “Yes. Thank you Thomas. Take Mrs. Williams’ things up to my quarters.”
“What?” I asked, my eyes wide.
“We are married. The document you signed and mailed to me was a marriage certificate. I am your husband Jacob Williams,” he said, taking my hand and bringing it to his lips.
“I thought you were a farmer,” I said, thoroughly confused by the scene playing out before me.
“Oh my dear, no,” he said, leading me into the house and closing the door. “My father owned the largest coal mining operation in the state. However, thanks to you, I own it now.”
“What do you mean thanks to me?” I asked, my mind spinning.
“I could only inherit the company under the condition that I was married,” he said simply. “You are my wife, we will share a bed and you will do your duties in the home,” he said firmly.
I had barely been here five minutes and I was already thrown into the same fate I’d been desperately trying to escape back home. Suddenly I felt extremely foolish to have expected more. My legs wavered and I nearly collapsed, sitting hard on a small couch in the entrance way.
“I did not-” I mumbled, trying to make sense of what was happening.
“It’s a lot to take in. I understand.” But his voice was anything but understanding, it was cold and formal. There was no empathy whatsoever.
I looked at him wide eyed and swallowed thickly. “I need to go to the washroom.” I whispered.
“Of course,” he said.
He pointed me in the direction of the washroom and I ran through the marble halls, closing the door and locking it, my back pressed against it as my chest heaved with sobs that were trying desperately to escape. How could this be my life? I’d worked so hard to escape this and yet, here I was anyway.
I put my hands flat on the wash bin, trying to force the tears back. I did not want to break. I did not want to lose faith now, but it was so hard. There had been a light at the end of the tunnel only a few days ago, and now it seemed I was cast in darkness, with no way out.
That was how my life in Colorado began. Everything I thought I was going to have was ripped away in a moment. I slept in the bed of a man who saw me as his property. I was expected to wear beautiful dresses and play the part. I did my wifely duties, but every day that I scrubbed and practiced needle point, a little more of my soul died.
I would walk into the market, expected to shop for groceries and finery and I would pass by women working in fields, riding horses without saddles and digging their fingers into the soft earth. I dreamed of that, but it never came.
Jacob was not a cruel man. He was actually quite kind and he took care of me. He asked me if I was happy and I lied because I wasn’t. This wasn’t the life I wanted, but how was I supposed to tell him that? As far as anyone else could see, I had the perfect life and the perfect husband. No one saw the cage I felt trapped in and as the days went by and became bleaker, I knew I had to do something. I had to change something. My life could not continue the way it was or it was going to kill me.
When spring came around, I saw my chance and I wasn’t about to let it slip away.
Chapter Five
Spring in Colorado was beautiful and the more time that passed I found myself enjoying it more and more. My situation may have been a bit of a disappointment, but that did not mean I could not enjoy the beautiful landscape. All of the plants and animals were so different compared to what I was used to. All of this was what kept me going; I seemed to learn something new every day.
In the winter I’d gotten into the habit of stopping by a young woman’s house. I always saw her out, wearing a plain dress and tending to her lush garden. She had it separated into little squares and when I saw that it made me realize exactly what I wanted to do.
I’d stop and speak with her, learning all of her tips and tricks. I started keeping a small diary to help me keep track since I knew I’d forget most of it by the time spring rolled around. She always seemed surprised when I stopped by and even asked why such a wealthy woman was interested in gardening. In her mind I did not need to garden; I had enough money to buy my food from the market. I managed to evade her questions, still used to the way people talked in Charlotte. I did not want my little plan to get back around to my husband.
Jacob was kind enough and certainly handsome, but he did not seem to understand women very well. I could tell that he’d been forced to focus on his business his entire life. The only affection he showed me was a tender kiss on the cheek here and there. Our interludes were even methodical and meant simply to produce children. Even though he was affectionate, I knew it might anger him if he knew I wasn’t happy with the way things were, and so I kept my plan secret.
We had enough funds that I was able to buy all of the supplies to set up a garden in the back yard. Local workers had brought them to the house and stacked them downstairs in the basement where my husband wouldn’t find them. They would be safe until spring.
As the ground started to thaw and the soil became fertile, I set my plan into motion. Early in the spring, I went to the market and bought a set of men’s work clothes, a hat, seeds and a small goat. It was the start of my very own farm.
I walked back down the dirt road that led between my house and the market, earning strange looks. No one had ever seen a woman of my status leading a goat and dirtying my petticoats. I put the goat in the barn, using one of the spare stalls. While out there I slipped out of my heavy dress and into the work clothes I’d purchased, braiding my long blonde locks.
My heart was racing as I walked over to the patch of dirt I’d picked for my garden and began struggling with the short fencing that would keep various creatures out. I must have been making a lot of noise because Thomas came around back, one eye brow cocked.
“What are you doing, Madam? Your husband will not be happy if he sees you like this.”
I sighed and sat up, glancing over my shoulder at him. “Are you going to lecture me Thomas?”
“It’s not my place.”
Over the last few months, Thomas and I had grown rather close. He was a good man with a kind heart and he was one of the few people who could see the pain in my face.
“Are you going to tell Jacob?”
“I cannot lie.”
“What if he doesn’t ask?”
“Then I will not tell him,” he said with a soft, knowing smile.
I returned his smile and went back to struggling with the fence. Thomas leaned against the house, cocking a brow and smiling just a little. “Do you need help, Ma’am?”
I groaned and dropped my head in defeat. “It would be nice,” I said, waving him over.
He did not hesitate. He came over to me and started helping me set the fence posts. We worked in silence for a while, but it was Thomas who finally broke the silence.
“It’s strange that you picked this place to start your garden.”
I looked back at him, blinkin
g slowly. “Strange? Why is it strange?” I asked.
“Because this is where Jacob’s mother kept her garden,” he said softly.
“His mother?”
“Yes, she died when he was very young. I think it’s part of the reason he’s been rather formal toward you.”
“You think so?”
“Yes. He never learned the finer points of dealing with women. Especially strong-willed women,” he said, offering me a knowing smile.
I chuckled a little and tucked some hair behind my ear. “Well, I suppose he will have to get used to it because I am who I am.”
Thomas hesitated and leaned against the fence, looking me up and down. “I should warn you, you’re in for a fight. He has always been taught that women are expected to do certain things, wealthy women in particular. I guarantee gardening and playing with the goats are not things he expects from you.”
I sighed and shook my head back and forth slowly. “I suppose he’ll have to learn the hard way then.”
“You are just as stubborn as him,” he said with a chuckle.
“I suppose I am.”
We continued to work in the garden until the sun started to disappear behind the tree line. Jacob was due home any moment and I wasn’t sure I was ready to have this fight today. Our relationship had been rather uneventful until this point and I was hoping to keep it that way as long as possible.
I leaned against the counter, trying to pull my boots off. I nearly had them off when I heard a soft, shocked voice from the doorway.
“Rebecca?”
Chapter Six
I turned slowly, looked at my husband and offered him my best, most charming smile. “Hello. Welcome home! How was your day?” The look on his face told me he wasn’t buying my distraction tactic.
He crossed his arms over his broad, handsome chest and cocked a brow. “Why in the world are you in trousers?” he asked, frowning deeply.
“I was working outside,” I said, standing up to face him.
Anger flashed in his eyes and he stepped past me, opening the back door and looking out onto the garden I’d worked so hard on. His face hardened and he turned away from the door, shaking his head back and forth.
“This will not stand.”
“I promise it won’t-“
“It won’t what?” he snapped.
I’d never seen him angry before. For the most part, my husband was a calm man who wasn’t quick to anger. In the months that I’d lived here I’d only seen him get upset a few times, but he’d never seemed this enraged. His steely eyes were trained on me as the door closed, slamming against its frame and making me jump.
“I won’t let it interfere with my house work,” I said softly, surprisingly meek. I’d always prided myself in being a strong woman, but for some reason I could not stand up to him.
“I will not have this. It’s not ladylike behavior. I’m having this garden removed first thing tomorrow and you will not interfere! And you will throw those clothes away! Can you imagine if anyone saw you?”
The anger in my chest was rising to a fevered pitch and tears were pricking my eyes. He was threatening to take away the first thing that had made me happy since I came to Colorado. How dare he tell me what to do? Of course he was my husband but God had brought me here for a reason and I could not imagine that reason was to wash floors and cook dinner for a man who did not seem thankful for the things I did.
I stepped away from him and looked up, my own eyes full of fire and an underlying rage he probably wasn’t used to seeing in women. Women weren’t expected to fight back. When their husbands reprimanded them, they were expected to take the criticism and even thank them for it. I was not about to do that. Not over this.
“NO!” I snapped, wiping at my eyes, a bit angry at myself for getting upset. “That garden is all I’ve ever wanted here! I did not come here to sit by the window every day until you come home! I wanted more from life! If I wanted this, I could have stayed in Charlotte!”
“You did not come here to work on a farm! You came here to be my wife and that is exactly what I expect!” he said, his voice rising to match my own.
“I’m not happy!” I urged, the tears starting to spill down my cheeks despite my best efforts to stop them.
“This was a business arrangement! It’s a contract Rebecca! You knew that! You knew what this was!”
“So you bought me?? I’m your property and nothing else?” I asked miserably.
He groaned and pressed a finger to his temple. “That isn’t what I said.”
“That’s what it sounds like.” I was wiping at the tears angrily. “I know this was a contract. I know you see it as a business arrangement, but I was hoping, maybe just a little, that we could love each other one day,” I said softly, looking away. “But now I see that was silly of me to think,” I whispered, turning to walk away from him.
“Rebecca!” he called, though he did not follow me.
My heart ached. I knew that I should have expected this, but that did not make it any easier to deal with. A part of me had secretly hoped that things wouldn’t go this way. I wanted fall in love and I wanted to be happy. I did not think that was asking too much, but clearly I was wrong.
I ran to the spare bedroom, deciding that I would refuse to share his bed. I did not have a lot of say in this house, but at least I knew my body was still mine. I settled on the bed and put my head in my hands, tears starting to course down my cheeks even faster. It made my skin sting and each sob brought me closer and closer to a panic.
That room was my sanctuary for the next few days. I did the basic things needed like cooking, but the rest of the house was left to fall in disarray. I wasn’t in the mood to clean after watching men come and dig up my garden and take my goat away.
Jacob tried several times to come into my room and talk to me but I refused to let him in. A few days passed, however and he sounded sadder and sadder until I finally caved. He knocked on the door and sighed.
“This is getting a little out of hand, Rebecca,” he said gently. “I’m trying to apologize,” he struggled with the word and I knew it was his pride.
I sighed and opened the door, looking up at him with my arms crossed over my chest. “What do you want?” I asked, looking away from him.
“I want to talk.”
“I just don’t know what there is to talk about,” I said stubbornly.
“You said that you’d come here hoping we would fall in love,” he said simply.
I did not respond, feeling stupid for ever thinking that we could be in love. “Don’t worry, I’ve quickly realized the error of my thoughts,” I said, walking back into the bedroom, sitting on the edge of the bed.
Jacob followed me inside and sighed softly. “I know I’m not the easiest man to get along with,” he said softly.
I looked up at him and frowned a little, letting him continue. “I know you probably think I’m cruel, but you have to understand that it would reflect badly on me as a husband if you were ever seen doing those things,” he said.
“Does it really matter what everyone else thinks?” I asked, looking at him for a long moment. “Instead of caring what the townspeople think of you as a husband, you should focus on what I think of you as a husband,” I said simply, looking away. “A business arrangement, it’s so cold and clinical. It doesn’t mean we can’t make this a happy marriage.”
I hesitated and looked down. “I don’t want my children to grow up with parents who hate one another,” I whispered, putting a hand on my belly.
He looked down at my hand and opened his mouth to speak, but slowly he started to understand the gravity of what I was saying. I’d started to get suspicious of my morning sickness a few weeks ago, but I wasn’t sure. Now that my stomach was starting to grow, I was certain without a doubt that I was pregnant.
He took a step back and stared at me with wide eyes. “You’re pregnant,” he whispered.
I nodded slowly and put my hands on the tiny bump. Tears started
to come to my eyes. “I’ve seen what it can do to children,” I whispered. “My parents were desperately in love. They looked into each other’s eyes like they could see the stars in their gazes and I always wanted something like that,” I admitted, wiping at my eyes.
Silence passed between us and Jacob knelt slowly and took my hands. “I know you think I don’t care about your feelings,” he said softly. “But I do. It hurts me now to see you so sad. It’s just that you challenge the way I think, Rebecca. You say things to me that go against everything I’ve ever been taught and it’s hard. But I want to try; for you and the baby, I will try,” he hesitated. “But I need you to be patient with me.”
Tears came to my eyes again and I felt ridiculous for crying so much. I sank to my knees and wrapped my arms around him, sniffling and burying my face in his neck.
“Do you promise?”
“I promise,” he whispered, wrapping his arms around me.
Chapter Seven
Jacob did try, and I was surprised in the change I saw. A week after our conversation, I woke up and found that my garden had been restored. He drew the line at the goat, but I could have my garden. I knew that this was a give and take situation, so I did all my gardening in one of the plain dresses the other women wore.
We were at peace with each other. Actually, we were even better than that. He became far more gentle and spent more time at home. I finally started to get to know my husband. He had a fondness for horses and loved taking me on rides, though he got more and more hesitant as I got bigger.
A child wasn’t something I’d thought much about. I knew I was probably going to have to have a baby, since most women were expected to be mothers at a fairly young age. Despite this expectation, I hadn’t given it much thought until there was a baby growing inside of me.
Now that Jacob was far more attentive and seemed more invested in my happiness, I felt good about everything. I was actually happy; I was happier than I thought I could be in this situation. Jacob was warm and kind and even loving and I found myself growing more and more attached to him.
