by kubasik
"What is love but something I think I feel about another person?"
I didn't know if I'd ever say the things I wanted to say to-him again, so I went on.
"There's something... love—not the love of passion created by urges of the flesh—but the love between members of a family. The love a parent has for a child. That isn't found only in the love one feels for someone. It is buried in actions. It is the difference between someone who shows his loyalty to his village by waving a flag, and someone who builds a fortress of stone to protect the villagers if bandits come."
"I love them. I come to visit!"
I laughed, and the other members of our watch turned their gazes from the lovely stars to the rear castle. I stared them down and they looked away.
"Do you know what you do?" I asked finally. I did not wait for a reply. "You look at them."
"Yes..."
"That's all you do. You stare at them as they lie there unconscious, helpless
"I'm not threatening them..."
"Nor they you."
Now he laughed. A derisive sound. "What is that supposed to mean."
I had never thought the words before, but they came tumbling out of me now. "You don't have to be with them. Interact with them. Find out what they're really like. You don't have to be disappointed in them..."
"I'm not disappointed in them," he said defensively.
"How do you know?" I asked sharply. "They haven't had the chance to disappoint you."
"They're little boys!"
I wanted to shriek, but instead I spoke very calmly, carefully enunciating each word.
"They are Samael and Torran. Two very different little boys. They are not what you think they are."
"And what is that?"
"Just what you said. Two little boys. Two little thoughts in your head of what they're like.
You know, you don't love them. You're just sentimental. You have an idea of what little boys are supposed to be like. That's what you love. The idea. The idea of two children safe and asleep in their beds, neither speaking nor walking nor playing nor thinking, questioning, or demanding. What are you afraid of? That if you come and see them when they're awake they'll turn on you? Try to kill you?”
His face turned ashen white. His jaw and fingers shook.
"J'role?"
He turned from me, terrified. To this day I do not know what truth I had struck, but obviously I had struck home. He looked away, and then raised his head and said, "Sweet Chorallis."
I looked beyond him, to where he looked. Behind us, heavy storm clouds had gathered.
They rolled across the sky from east to west, then crashed into each other and continued on toward us. It was as if powerful forces from the air and water planes had conspired to invade our world and destroy our ship.
"Get the sails down!" T shouted. "And get those sailors up here!"
27
What little we could do with our inexperienced crew, we did. It was not near enough.
The storm swallowed us up, shredding our sails as we lowered them. The center mast cracked at the base, tumbling to the deck, and crushing two of our crew beneath its weight. Whether or not they were killed by the impact we never found out. The wind swept the sail and the mast back up into the air and took the slaves with them. All of us nearly went overboard, for the improbable tangle of rope and riggings whipped and clawed at us like a strange sea creature. I only barely escaped being snared and carried over the edge. The riggings, the crushed slaves, and two members of our crew flew off over the ship and vanished into the darkness.
The ship listed sharply to port. Most of us on deck slid quickly to the edge of the ship, slamming into the thick wall that served as the deck's rail. The wind roared in our ears.
The rain pelted our cheeks, stinging with painful clarity. I screamed for someone to do something. A useless command, I know, but it showed what state of mind I was in. I could not hear my own voice.
Someone grabbed me by the shoulders. Wia. She pulled my head close to her. "Below!"
she shouted.
It seemed a marvelous idea
Along with the others I made my way on hands and knees across the deck, each of us afraid that if we remained standing, the winds would grab us and toss us over the side.
The stone floors became slick with rain, and the ship rocked to one side, sending us all over the deck. Sometimes we rushed toward the door we wanted to reach, other times we lost yards of hard-earned progress. I saw two of our number blown into the railings, and then over the side of the ship as the ship shifted unexpectedly. I numbed my heart to such sights—if I imagined the terrifying, endless plunge through the dark rain as a possibility I would become paralyzed with fear and would certainly meet my own death.
I pressed on, and finally reached the door in the center castle. Each of us threw ourselves into the castle, and quickly made our way across the small chamber to the stairs leading below deck. The ship rocked back and forth, the motion sending most of us tumbling down the stairs.
We huddled together, wet and terrified. "What are we going to do?" I asked.
"What can we do?" Wia said. "The sails... We don't know..." Her words faltered, reflecting her failing hope
No one had a plan.
"We might just have to ride out the storms" said J'role.
Lightning cracked near the ship. A shaft of blue-white light shot down the stairs and illuminated our terrified faces. Suddenly pale and already gaunt, we looked like a group of corpses.
"We're going to die," said a dwarf.
The others from different lands also began to speak quickly in their tongues, but ultimately there was nothing to be done. The ship tossed and rocked in the wind.
Suddenly the ship lurched and a horrible scraping noise cut through the corridors of the ship. The vessel spun sharply to port, knocking us all against the wall. Then the ship floated on, still rocking wildly. We all looked at each other, startled and surprised, frozen for a moment in inaction.
J'role leapt up and began to run up the stairs. "Wait here!" he called over his shoulder. I paid no heed to his words, and shot up after him, followed by another woman, one who had experience with ships.
28
The wind attacked us when we reached the deck, gripping us by the shoulders and trying to throw us over the edge. We dropped to the deck. The ship traveled nearly sideways through the air as the winds buffeted us.
The woman, dark-skinned, with coarse, curly hair, shouted something I could not understand. But her pointing finger explained all. I turned and looked and saw, just barely through the haze of rain, the gray shapes of mountains all around us. They towered high above us, and spread out in either direction, finally disappearing into darkness. I slid myself over toward the edge of the ship and saw lower peaks around us. Suddenly a jagged wall of rock appeared, as if formed by the rain itself, and the ship slammed into it.
Stone ground against stone, and the blow knocked me back to J'role and the dark woman.
Lighting cracked through the air. The mountains glowed momentarily with myriad colors. "Twilight Peaks!" J'role shouted. "We must have reached Twilight Peaks!"
I nodded. Water drenched my clothes, covered my face. A chill set in, and not just from the water. I had never met any of the crystal raiders who made their home in the huge mountain range, and had little desire to.
"We've got to get the ship away from here!" I shouted back. “Get- everybody to the oars!
I'll take the wheel!"
J'role shook his head. "Two people on the wheel! I'll come with you!"
He turned to the woman and made a motion of rowing, then pointed to her. I pointed toward J'role and myself, then to the aft castle, then made the gesture of holding the ship's wheel. She stared at us with surprise, but finally nodded and started down the stairs.
J'role and I made our way along the deck, gripping ropes set into brass hooks along the walls of the castle. A bit more work brought us to the aft castle. We climbed the stai
rs and I grabbed the wheel. I lost track of J'role for a moment, and panic coursed through me as I thought he might have been swept overboard. But he reappeared, now with ropes in his hand. Working quickly, he lashed our hands to the wheel. There we stood, my right arm crossed under his left; our hands close, but tied to different spokes.
"I love you!" he shouted.
My heart fell. He had no sense of proportion. "Shut up!"
I saw oars extended out from the sides of the ship. Fortunately we had pulled them back inside hours earlier at the suggestion of our seaworthy companions. Otherwise they would have been crushed against the mountains when we crashed. There were only a dozen or so on the oars, however, and I did not know what chance we had with such a weak crew. But the oars that could be manned were, and I saw them sweep slowly through the air.
J'role and I began to turn the wheel. Even our combined efforts, no matter how well meaning, seemed incapable of preventing a shipwreck. We pushed all our strength into turning the ship to starboard and away from the mountains, but it seemed to no avail.
"More!" J'role screamed, less, I think, to me than to himself. We finally forced the wheel to move an inch. It was only an inch, but the success brought forth a laugh from the both of us. We pushed harder and harder, and finally moved the wheel enough that a visible change could be seen in our direction. The grim gray shadows slid slightly to port. We had traveled close enough that I could make out cliff faces and cracks in the stone.
Then a horrible wind rushed up to the ship and lifted us up suddenly. For a moment J'role and I left the deck, our feet floating inches above the stone floor. When we came back down, the wheel spun suddenly, driving J'role to the deck, with me on top of him. I heard a sharp crack, and J'role screamed in agony as the bone of his forearm shattered and pierced his flesh.
I struggled to get up. My efforts dragged at J'role's arm, for we were still lashed to the wheel. He screamed out even louder. I hesitated, not wanting to rip his arm apart, but knowing that if I couldn't pull the wheel back we were doomed.
J'role cried out in horrible agony, but I had no choice. After more of his terrible screams, we were standing once more. The wheel turned easily now, and I smiled with great relief, for it seemed for one delightful instant that the winds had died down enough for us to get better control of the ship.
Then I realized the wheel moved too easily. The mechanisms connecting it to the rudder had snapped during our last encounter with the winds, and we no longer had any way of controlling the ship at all.
A crack of lightning illuminated the air. I looked up. A mountain face loomed before us like an angry parent rushing to slap a child.
PART TWO
My Passions Take Form
1
We smashed into the mountain with the aid of one final, massive wind. The ship rose into the air, lifted as if on a giant wave of water, and crashed against a cliff face. The impact threw me forward, slamming me against the wheel. J'role cried out in pain once more.
I lost all sense of balance as the ship dropped, scraping along the cliff as it fell. My wrists, tied to the spokes of the wheel, nearly broke as the ship crashed into the ground.
Sudden stillness attacked my senses. Happy that I was still alive, yet terrified that we had landed on the top of a strange mountain, far from home, far from my children, I found myself weeping, my tears mixing with the rain. I didn't really know where I was, and had no idea how I might get back to those I loved.
I looked down at J'role and saw that he had passed out from the pain. The sharp, shattered bone looked pale and glowing even in the darkness of the storm. I worked quickly to untie my bonds, then leaned down to help J'role.
Within moments some of the other slaves joined me. They were full of questions, but when they saw J'role's injuries, they quickly helped me bring him downstairs.
We cleaned the wound and set the bone. We had no questors of Garlen present, so we could not heal him. I searched through the ship, slamming open cabinets and drawers and checking small boxes, desperate to find a potion or salve or any kind of magical means of curing him. I found nothing.
I did not know what else to do, so we carried J'role to bed and spread a blanket over him.
A fever had set in, and it seemed more than likely that he would die before the night was over. He had lost so much blood, and we had no way to properly treat his injuries for the other sicknesses such wounds encouraged.
When I went to look for the others, I found the rest of the slaves had gathered in the ship's galley. We had eaten earlier that day, but in small clusters, all over the ship. Now everyone had gathered in a group, with our oranges and corn and peppers carefully placed in silver bowls, bits of dried meat on plates, and wine held in metal jugs. As I entered, the little conversation taking place broke off into silence.
I nodded to them, uncomfortable, and took a seat.
Everyone took food and ate quietly, the silent meal cloaking us in comfort. We were, oddly, a family, bonded through trials of misfortune over the past few weeks, and especially by the successes and failure of the last few hours.
We decided there was nothing to be done until daylight. We posted watches. I went to sleep.
I awoke with a start. No motion. No wind. No sound of rain. Everything seemed wrong.
I propped myself up on my elbows, then looked over the edge of my bunk. Wia still slept.
When I placed my feet on the floor, I found it cool. Golden, morning light cut through the room's portal and formed a perfect circle on the wall.
Thoughts of J'role rushed into my head. His wounds! I gave out a gasp at the memories of the night before, and rushed out.
One of the group, bronze skinned and still strong, stood by J'role's bunk, holding water to J'role's lips. He kept his eyes shut. I knelt down beside him and placed my hand on his forehead.
His eyes fluttered open, and he turned slightly to look at me. He smiled weakly.
"Alive," he said. A matter of declaration.
"Shipwrecked."
His voice cracked. "But alive." He took pride in any victory, even if others might see it as defeat. He once said to me, "There's enough that grinds us down each day. We've got to acknowledge anything that seems like good news."
The man got up and left the room. I took his seat.
"I'm dying?"
"No."
"Releana. I'm the liar."
The statement stunned me, so I said, "We've got to find you help."
"On a mountain?"
"If we're on Twilight Peaks ..."
"Excellent. We might be able to get some help from troll barbarians."
"They're not barbarians," I said quickly, though I had never met any of the crystal raiders.
J'role closed his eyes. "Yes. Whatever." His face contorted with pain. Then he relaxed slightly. "Releana," he said hesitantly, and opened his eyes. I felt he was on the verge of saying something significant.
"Releana!" someone shouted from above deck. The cry carried panic.
"I'll be back." I gave him a peck on the forehead and rushed out of the room.
2
As I ran through the corridor, others were awakened from sleep by the cry of my name.
Each one looked startled and sleepy. Each let me pass and then followed. I realized I had become the group's leader. When exactly had that happened? My crew followed up the steps and out onto the deck.
Dozens of trolls dressed in armor made from gleaming crystal approached the ship off the port side.
The ship had landed with the deck nearly perfectly level with the ground. A huge fissure ran through the foredeck, up along the forecastle, and over the sides of the hull. It seemed that if the airship had suffered a hull breach, it would sink just as a sea vessel would. The ground around the ship was barren, and covered with small rocks and a few boulders. The mountain we sat on continued far above us, and I became dizzy looking toward the peak.
Around use stood many other mountains forming the Twilight Peaks. Be
yond the gray mountains grew the jungles of Barsaive, now nothing more than a blur of green.
The trolls stood still and silent, gathered in tight clusters. Each stood about eight feet high, with horns growing from their foreheads, and large teeth protruding from under their lips. Their bodies bulged with muscles, and there seemed a kind of exaggeration of masculine qualities about them, in the females as well as the males. From their stance and build, it seemed they could do little but bash things.
For the most part they wore thick furs for armor, and a few had robes or cloaks fashioned from tapestries they'd acquired on their raids of the lowlands. However, many also had the astounding crystal armor that had made the trolls so famous.
Their crystal armor did not cover their entire bodies, as I'd been led to believe from the stories I'd heard. Instead, most of the thick, colored crystals grew from the fur or cloth armor. Sections of crystal armor covered the shoulders of some trolls. Others had shields made of crystal. A few had breastplates strapped on with thick strips of leather. And there were weapons made of crystal as well. Spears, swords, maces. The colored crystals Were smooth and shaped with many facets. The sunlight struck the magical weaponry and arms and shimmered deep reds, twilight blues, jungle greens, and other colors.
