“I’d say you were crazy,” she said. “And maybe just getting a bit caught up.”
He growled and strode toward the bed. His magnificent bare chest caught the lamplight as he lunged onto the bed and took her mouth in another fierce kiss. This one was claiming, harsh, a sign of ownership, and when he pulled back, she found herself once again unable to think rationally.
And that scared her.
“I’m not crazy,” he said. “I don’t just say this to women. I don’t use women who I know are looking for something long term. I knew when I looked at you, just by how Scott had hurt you, that you’re the type a man keeps forever. I’m looking for forever, Janna.”
She turned away on a sob. “I don’t know if I can believe in forever anymore,” she said. “And it’s just too good to be true. You don’t know how it felt. To move out here to the middle of nowhere, to the wilderness, because I thought I was going to be loved, protected. Instead, I wound up alone. Poor. Nowhere to go. Anything could have happened to me.”
“No,” he said. “You’re strong.”
“I didn’t feel strong,” she said. “I felt helpless. Angry. I never want to feel like that again.”
He pulled her into his lap on the bed and cradled her, pressing his lips to the top of her head in a gentle, soothing kiss. He seemed to understand now that what had hurt most wasn’t just the cheating; it was the abandonment. And it was feeling like she was the one to blame because she’d known it should be too good to be true yet still blindly believed in it.
“I never should have moved for him.”
“You did nothing wrong,” he said, his voice clearly trying to contain the anger he was feeling over the Scott situation. “You did what a good woman would have, and if he’d been a good man, it would have been fine. That was his job, to be a good man. A trustworthy man. He failed at that.” He held her tight. “I won’t, Janna. I promise.”
She leaned into him. She was tired of not being able to trust. Tired of planning to spend her life alone because she didn’t want to be hurt again. Tired of Scott showing up at the store as if he thought he could take control of her life again just by stalking her.
“I’ll protect you, Always,” Ryder said in a low, growly voice. “With all parts of me.”
She smiled and reached up to play with his hair. “All parts? Are there more than one?”
He smiled a half smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Maybe.”
“Keeping secrets, hm?”
“Not that I want to,” he said.
“Probably good, though,” she said, stroking a hand down the side of his face. “I’m only just now getting used to the idea of you wanting me. I’ll need some time to recover before you drop any other bombs on me.”
He seemed to wince at that but hid it quickly. What was that?
“What is it?” she asked.
He opened his mouth to tell her but then looked up at the window across from her and his eyes went wide with shock. “Shit.”
She flipped around, feeling a chill rush down her back as she turned to where he’d been looking. At the window, black eyes stared back at her. The bear from before. She screamed and pressed into Ryder as the bear reared up on its back legs and took a swipe at the window.
“Damn it,” Ryder said. “The worst possible time. I should have known.”
“Known what?” she asked, her heart trying to pound out of her chest as the window made a cracking noise and the bear reared back for another blow. It was monstrously huge, and she could feel how tense Ryder was behind her. Clearly, he was afraid of bears too. Who wasn’t?
The sound of shattering glass made her scream again. The bear reached its giant paw through the window, scraping in her direction. Then it pulled out with a howl of pain and reared back again.
She tried to grab Ryder’s arm, but before she could, he pulled out of her reach with a muttered apology. She looked into his eyes in disbelief as he left her alone on the bed. He gave her a look that said how sorry he was just as he reached the door. Then he ran through it, leaving her alone with the bear.
13
She didn’t have time to feel her heart crack in two because the black bear had shattered more of the window. He reached both paws in and she grabbed a sheet to cover her nakedness as she tried to think what to do. She had only seconds. One more swipe and he’d probably be in. Dammit. Her body was limp, dizzy from the pleasure overload, not ready to go into fight mode, but she tried to drag herself from the bed and tripped.
The bear eyed her—she could swear it looked triumphant—and started to push its upper body through the window. Then its eyes widened and it howled in pain. The next second, it was gone, yanked back through the window by some unknown force.
She clutched the sheet around her and ran to the window. Outside, a tremendous brown bear with a shaggy pelt was fighting with the smaller black bear. The black bear didn’t seem to stand a chance, and he knew it. One massive swipe from the grizzly bear had the black bear running away from the cabin. It sent her one last resentful stare over its shoulder, as if it were promising it would come back, and then disappeared over one of the snowy hills in the distance. Her heart was still pounding, even when the bear was out of sight.
She could have died if not for the other bear.
What was it with her and bears lately?
The grizzly looked over at her, roared with its head back, and then shook off snow and ran off in the opposite direction of the black bear. She almost wanted to thank it, but that was crazy. For all she knew, this bear wanted to eat her too. She crossed the bedroom to the other side of the cabin and looked out. The grizzly was disappearing into the trees.
She ran to her phone. She needed to call someone. Anyone. She had to get out of here. She knew Leslie wouldn’t judge her for running. After she told her about the amazing Ryder Hart running away and leaving her naked and undefended, she’d be on her side for sure.
She didn’t want him to come back and apologize. He’d just sound like Scott. She hadn’t taken him for the kind of weak man that would hurt her and apologize later, like Scott was. But he’d sure acted like one. There was literally no good explanation for leaving her alone. He didn’t take his phone. He didn’t go for help, or if he had, he could have taken her. No, he’d just left her there like she meant nothing.
Right after he’d told her he loved her.
She dialed the number. No answer from Leslie. She tried Kylie. No pick up yet. Perhaps they were still driving down the canyon and didn’t have reception. The incident with the bear had felt like forever but could have taken place in mere seconds.
It was late, and she was alone in the mountains. Ryder might come back, but how could she trust him not to run again? And she couldn’t stay here with a broken window. The black bear might come back. The grizzly had weirdly seemed to be on her side, but the black bear… She knew it wouldn’t stop until it got her. She didn’t know why it wanted her, but it did.
There was one last number on her phone she could call. She had said she’d rather drop dead than ever ask him for help again, but she didn’t actually want to die in a bear attack. And right now, facing Ryder would be worse. After what they’d just shared, how vulnerable she’d allowed herself to be with him…
At least Scott was who he was. A worm. And though he’d been a little persistent over the last year, he’d never actually touched or forced her. He was a weakling and a cheat, but he wouldn’t make any move she couldn’t rebuff. Not if he wanted another chance with her.
She reluctantly dialed the number as a cold gust of wind blew into the cabin through the open window.
“Scott?” she whispered when Scott picked up.
“Janna? What the hell?”
“I need a ride.”
A pause on the other side. “Sure.”
“And you better not try anything.”
“Where are you?” he asked, sounding reasonable, like the Scott she’d first known.
“Up at the lodge.
”
“Ah. With him.”
“Are you going to come get me or not?”
“I don’t know. You’ve been ignoring me.”
That was so Scott. Whiny and pathetic, but not threatening. “You owe me,” she said simply, hoping he still felt at least a tinge of the guilt he should feel.
He sighed. “All right. But after this, you owe me.”
She shook her head. If only her little town had cabs that weren’t affiliated with the lodge. “Fine.”
“A date?”
“Scott… don’t push it. I’m in cabin number three.”
“Fine,” he said. “See you soon. I’m leaving now.”
She hung up and set the phone on the bed, wondering when Ryder would come back in. What could he possibly say to excuse himself?
She got up, locked the bedroom door, pulled the curtains closed over the broken window, and changed into jeans and a sweatshirt. Then she began packing, shoving clothing haphazardly into her suitcase. When she was finished, she opened the door to the living room and picked up the clothing Ryder had scattered when he’d picked her up and started making love to her.
How they’d torn at each other’s clothing. It was pure, hot passion. But it was nothing more if he could leave her like that.
He’d said he’d protect her. Well, she was a grown woman and she could deal. She’d already done it once. Honestly, driving home with Scott wouldn’t be so bad after this. At least it would keep her mind off what a fool she’d been and the sheer shock she was still in that Ryder had run from the bear.
A part of her wanted to stay and listen to his explanation. But when she was fully packed and he hadn’t returned, she decided she couldn’t stay any longer. She sat on the couch and waited for Scott.
After a few moments, the door opened, and Ryder stood there.
Naked, his hair covered in snow.
She didn’t even know what to say. On the one hand, his face had become familiar to her. The features beloved. And she wanted to rush into his arms and feel safe again.
On the other, the image of him running out of the room without a word was burned into her brain.
“Janna, we need to talk,” he said, walking forward.
She took a deep breath, trying to calm her anger so she could stay cool and say what needed to be said. “About what? About how you left me after promising to protect me or about how you were apparently running around in the snow naked while I was in fear for my life?”
He blanched. “I know it looks bad, but I can explain.”
She heard her voice grow slightly hysterical but couldn’t stop it. “Oh really? Please do!” She waited, knowing there would be no explanation.
Ryder bit his lip and then shook his head and walked to the closet to pull out his travel case. He pulled on clothes, and she noticed he was shivering slightly. Well, too bad.
He walked forward as if to join her on the couch, but her furious expression stopped him dead in his tracks. She put up a hand.
“No, if you’re going to explain, explain from there. I can’t think when you’re close.”
One corner of his mouth almost quirked up at that, but he seemed to grasp the seriousness of the situation and what he’d done. She seriously hoped Scott drove slow so she’d get to hear whatever crazy story he came up with to excuse his actions. She could enjoy sharing it with the girls later.
“I…”
But a knock sounded at the door and Ryder turned toward it in shock. When he looked back at her, there was a hint of betrayal in those deep-blue eyes. “You called someone?”
She stood and grabbed her suitcase, fighting back tears. She didn’t want to hurt him, but what could he expect? That she’d stay the rest of the week with him after that? No way. “Sorry, Ryder. I know you think I’m a strong woman, but I’m not that strong. This isn’t going to work out.”
He scratched at his head, ruffling the hair there furiously, still looking like he wanted to say something but knew it would sound crazy.
Well, he could keep his secrets. And she could go back to her ordinary life. It wasn’t so bad compared to nearly being eaten by a bear.
“Don’t leave,” he said, walking forward to put his arms on hers. “You don’t understand. You could be in danger.”
She met his eyes. “Yeah, if I stayed with you.”
“No, just give me a minute to explain. I have to show you.”
“No,” she said. “I have to go. Maybe I’ll cool down later. Maybe at some point we can talk. But right now, I need to be home. Where I feel safe.” She opened the door and Ryder sucked in his breath and let out a low curse when he saw Scott at the door.
“Not with him,” he growled.
She felt her hackles rise and didn’t see why he had any right to judge her. “Yes, him. He may be a cheat, but he’ll get me home safe.”
“Like hell,” Ryder growled, coming between her and Scott. This display of protective dominance nearly made her knees weak again, but her rational mind was now firmly in the driver’s seat and she wasn’t letting it out again. She pushed hard on him, but he didn’t budge.
“It’s not your choice! You can’t force me,” she said.
At that, he let out a frustrated exhale and moved to the side. She walked to Scott, who put an arm around her waist. She let him. Not that she wanted him to, but she needed Ryder to get the hint and back off. At least for now. She needed to go cry it out somewhere where there were no bears and no confusing billionaires either.
“Wait,” he said. “Just give me a minute to explain.”
She clenched her suitcase. Everything in her body wanted to listen to him, wanted him to have a way to make it all okay. But she knew he couldn’t. “You should have explained before you left me alone,” she said.
Scott looked down at her curiously, but she just pulled away from him and walked out the door, dragging her suitcase behind her. Scott’s truck was close by, and he loaded her luggage without a word and helped her into the passenger’s seat.
Ryder came out into the snow in his bare feet, looking more like a desperate beggar than one of the most powerful men in the tech world. His blue eyes bored into hers, begging her not to go.
She turned away as Scott shut the door and refused to look up as they pulled away. She heard an angry roar and looked up to see Ryder had disappeared. Probably back into the cabin. He was good at running.
As they pulled out, she swore she saw the grizzly bear from before running across the white snow and back behind the lodge. It simply confirmed she’d made the right choice.
She leaned her cheek on her hand and rested her head against the frozen window, hoping Scott would just stay silent for the rest of the ride.
14
Ryder ran angrily in his bear form, wondering what he could have done differently while at the same time knowing there was nothing else he could have done.
He couldn’t shift in the room with her. Even if he could get past the fear of telling her what he was, he knew there was a big risk that with his huge bear there, she could get hurt. And he wouldn’t be able to get out the small window once in bear form. Or the bedroom door. And he would have wasted precious time having to lumber around to the back.
No, the best, quickest thing to do, instinctively, was run and change as quickly as possible so he could get the bear away from the window and keep his mate safe.
Damn! He’d been so close. She’d been opening her heart to him, trusting him, and now she thought he was the worst kind of man. Even worse than she probably could have imagined to be fearful of.
He hadn’t thought about how it would look. He’d simply thought about what would be safest for her and done it, hoping he could explain afterward.
Oh, how he’d wanted to kill that stupid bear who dared to threaten her. But he knew it could traumatize her to watch him take it apart. So he’d simply chased it away and then patrolled the cabin until the scent had faded completely and the bear was far gone.
By the tim
e he’d gotten back in, it had been too late. Oh, how the triumph of protecting her had faded when he’d seen the hate in her eyes. How it had stabbed him in the gut to see she’d immediately turned back to the man that hurt her in the beginning.
He’d wanted to charge the car and slash the tires and carry his mate inside and make love to her until she listened. But he couldn’t. It would only hurt things between them more.
She’d said maybe they could talk later. If only he didn’t go mad worrying about her in the meantime.
He wasn’t worried about Scott. Jealous, yes. Angry, yes. But he’d seen nothing about the man that said he was going to take advantage. If anything, he’d seemed a little afraid of Ryder. Understandably. He was coming between him and his mate at a time when Ryder needed to protect her.
And Scott had no chance of it. When he’d smelled him while fresh from his bear form, he’d known. There was no bear in Scott. So what would he and Janna do if the black bear decided to follow them back to town and pay a visit to them there?
He growled and slashed at a tree when he thought of the possibility of Scott not taking her home. Maybe she wouldn’t want to be alone tonight.
But damn it, she had to know better than that, didn’t she? Scott could be nice, he was sure, but in the end, he’d still be the weakling that broke her heart. At least Ryder only broke her heart while trying to protect her life.
Even now, he couldn’t regret what he’d done because he’d rather she was unharmed and angry at him than hurt. Angry, he could fix.
Even if the jealous, possessive animal inside him almost wanted to give up now that it looked like she’d chosen another male. Almost. In reality, every part of him wanted to fight. Fight until she was safe, fight until she was his, and fight until she was back in his arms.
He huffed as he ran down the road where they’d gone, trying to retain his human reasoning. He was Ryder Hart. Shrewd. Powerful. He made grown men tremble in boardrooms. He could control this. He could.
But his bear was still charging down the road, following the scent of the truck his mate had left in, staying just far enough out of sight not to scare her by letting her see him.
Bearllionaire: (BWWM) Paranormal BBW Bear Shifter Romance Standalone Page 11
