“It’s Aiden!” I screamed, struggling to work my way out of his hands. “I have to call him. I always call him and I didn’t call!”
It was the drugs. The drugs fucked with me and made me forget. I had to call him. He’d be so worried. I managed to get out of Brody’s grasp and off the bed, but as soon as I did, I fell to my knees. I had no energy, but I didn’t stop trying, pushing myself up, and Brody got me the rest of the way. He lifted me, getting me to my feet, and I only stopped struggling when he placed warm hands to my cheeks and stared into my eyes.
I was so tired I couldn’t even keep the eye contact.
Sagging, I leaned my head against his chest and he brought his arms around me, saying something that couldn’t be true. “He’s okay,” he kept saying. “He’s fine. I talked to him.”
I looked up, not thinking I heard him right. I couldn’t have. He didn’t know about Aiden. I never told him. I never got a chance to. But then he nodded, smiling as he pushed my short hair out of my eyes.
“Yeah,” he confirmed. “I talked to him. Twice actually. He called me on my phone looking for you late last night. But once I got you, I knew you wouldn’t be able to talk to him until you rested some of this off. I called him back. I covered. He’s okay. I promise.”
But how? No, he wouldn’t be, and Brody, he couldn’t possibly understand. He didn’t know why Aiden couldn’t sleep.
I pulled back, shaking my head. “No. He gets nightmares, Brody. He won’t—”
His hand kept my head from shaking. His other joined my cheek and he lowered to my level. “He’s fine, Alex. I read him a story. He went right to sleep.”
I blinked and his gentle laughter sounded. He pushed a thumb behind him. “I read him one of my niece’s books. My brother’s kid. I keep ‘em for her when she comes over.”
What he said had me at a loss. It wasn’t possible. He wasn’t possible. But he was standing here and he was taking care of all people—me.
He smiled at me. “I was only a temp, though. You gotta call him right away tomorrow. He made a drawing for you at school and wants to tell you about it himself. He sounded excited about it.”
I nodded, not knowing what else to say. As it turned out, I didn’t have to say anything at all.
Taking my hand, Brody brought me back to the bed and sat me down. He left and came back with two bottles of water. He set both by the bed. “These will keep you hydrated. You should drink when you can.”
I nodded again and sat back to the baseboard, his baseboard. He went to the curtains and closed whatever light had been allowed in the room. It helped with my head. His outline went toward the door. He looked to leave, opening it and letting a little light in from the hallway, but him doing so made that thick ball gather in my throat again. And I didn’t think it was because I was sick.
“Can you stay?” I found myself asking, begging. “It’s just… I feel disoriented and I don’t know if I can sleep…”
He didn’t let me finish. He simply went to his closet, his figure pulling something out of it. A bundle ended up in his hands and when he placed it on the floor, laying it out, I assumed he’d take his position right there and sleep on the floor nearby.
The room went silent after he settled in, quiet. Pulling back the covers, I got back underneath them, settling in myself, and moments later, I heard his voice again.
“Let me know if you need anything,” he said. “I’m not leaving. I’ll be here.”
I did need something, and as it turned out, he never left me.
Chapter Sixteen
Brody
She rested the next twenty-four hours or so. She couldn’t really do much else, she was so exhausted. I kept her hydrated, kept her comfortable, and by midday, she was able to eat some lighter stuff I had around my trailer and nothing that would upset her stomach too much. So weak, she hadn’t even been able to leave the bedroom that day, but that hadn’t been all bad. It hadn’t because she was here, because she was safe, and the around-the-clock care didn’t matter.
It didn’t bother me at all.
I added an extra blanket while she slept. Something else she took up was chills around late afternoon.
She snuggled in. “I need to call Aiden,” she whispered, drifting off. “I can’t fall asleep.”
I smiled. Taking a seat on the edge of the bed, I reached over to get the blanket completely around her. “Sleep. I’ll wake you before your watch goes off.”
I couldn’t deny the smile on her lips, but then it faded, sleep taking her away from me.
Shifting, I went to move, but her head fell, leaning against my side. My arm was still in midair, ready to go and leave her to her peace, but I found myself settling in. I told myself that I moved a leg up to the bed not to wake her, then the other for the same reason. I sat there for a moment, my stomach doing crazy things and I confirmed the lie to myself.
Her arm slid around my waist then, absentmindedly, and this felt like it was going too far. She wasn’t awake and me being here like this was pushing things. I went to move.
“Thank you,” she said, sighing as she brushed her head against my side. “For waking me later. For everything.”
I placed a hand on her arm, rubbing away those chills. I guess I wouldn’t be moving right away after all.
*
Mr. Michaels, my boss, sighed on the other end of the line. I gathered I’d get this response after my request. And truth be told, the man was a douche and I expected nothing less than his annoyance at my legal right to use my vacation time.
“The whole thing?” he asked, sighing again. “You want to use your entire leave?”
Honestly, I’d use more if I could for this, for her. I think I knew what I was going to do the moment after I woke her last night and gave her my phone for her call. But hearing the soft words outside the door only solidified my decision today. I couldn’t help hearing, the walls of my childhood home were so thin. I heard an aunt on the phone with her nephew, reassuring him that she’d be with him in days. But that wasn’t all I heard, no. I also heard a strong woman in that room, one who’d do just about anything to keep that promise to that little boy. I knew she would because I’d seen firsthand what she was willing to do to get to him.
I rubbed my hand down my mouth, taking a seat at the kitchen table. Pop never could get us all in here to eat at the same time. He’d always give up and we’d eat in the living room around the TV.
“Yeah. I’ll need the full ten days,” I told Mr. Michaels now. It was decided. This trip was something I had to do.
“Fine, Brody. But you only get ten days. You take anymore and you know what happens.”
Yeah, I did. I wouldn’t have a job anymore.
I stressed to my boss that I understood and then gratefully let the man go. I headed back to my bedroom, but when I got there it was empty one sleeping girl. I scanned the trailer and it didn’t take me long to find Alex. My pops’ old place was pretty nice and spacious despite the trailer set up, but still, it wasn’t that large.
She stood in the hallway, staring up at the wall ahead of her. Lifting her arm, the sleeve of the t-shirt I loaned her fell back to her shoulder, the length unable to conceal her shape, her smooth, brown legs as they were so long underneath it.
Leaning against the wall, I watched her, though a slight darkness under her eyes, she looked so much better this morning and I was so grateful. I’d never tell her, but she gave me a scare through the rough of it. I’d been around people who’d taken ecstasy before as I used to party a lot in my late teens and early twenties, but never had I seen such a harsh reaction. Yeah, this girl was definitely a fighter to be standing here so put together in front of me. No doubt about that. My gaze so focused on her, I didn’t realize what I caught her doing. She touched the frame of a photograph, one from when I was a kid.
I joined her and got the warmest glance when she looked up at me.
“Your family?” she asked, turning to stare up at the photo of my brothers and me. The picture was an
old one, too, Hayden standing behind my eight-year-old self with his hand on my shoulder, young himself at eleven. By my feet sat Griffin, on his knees in a set of blue coverall shorts. He hated the shit out of this picture. The kicker was Colton, barely one, in my arms. It was one of the rare moments when he wasn’t screaming his head off at the lady behind the camera. I remembered so much that day. Maybe because it was just a nice memory or something, all of us being together and all that.
“Yeah, that’s us,” I said, folding my arms over my chest with a smile. “Nothing but a bunch of little trouble makers for my pop.”
The photo of him took her attention next, a candid as he didn’t like posed photos. He played basketball with Hayden, Griff, and me. We were in our teens and preteens and Colton played with his own ball off to the side of our neighborhood court with Gram. The man really set us up to be lovers of the game. Aunt Robin took this photo, I believed.
“You all look so happy,” Alex said, reaching out toward that photo now. “So perfect.”
She caught us at a good time, a time when Pop finally could root us in one place after seeking work for so many years. He’d worked for Carter’s almost two years in that photo. It had been a time we all could breathe easy, the sadness of Mom in the days behind us instead of lingering over us. No, we didn’t get over losing her. We never would, but we did move past it, and we’d done it together.
I drew in behind Alex, closer to the photo yes, but also closer to her.
Her head dipped before looking up at me. She pivoted, and then she was in front of me, a finger brush away.
“You look better,” I told her. She looked more than that. So much more.
Her lips lifted, a slight pink hue to the fullness. She pushed a hand into her hair. “I didn’t do it alone.”
I had helped her get there, but she had the true fight in her. I wanted to touch her, just pull her in like I did at the night club a couple nights ago. But then, I remembered how I found her, and how that evening definitely hadn’t seemed like her first time exotic dancing.
What wasn’t she telling me? About herself? About Aiden and her need to get to him? The answers I might not like, but if she’d share them with me, I’d be more than willing to lend an ear or hand if she needed the help. Reaching out, I gave her that hand, but I had a feeling it was more for me than her.
She watched coming closer and her hand joined mine, right on the top, and gave my stomach that funny feeling once again.
“You want to go get some food?” I asked her, thinking she might want to get outside for a bit. “If your stomach’s up for it, that is?”
Her gaze lingered on the simple hold we had on each other. Her thumb brushed the back of my hand and my lips lifted when she nodded.
I took Alex to one of those cafes in downtown El Paso, the ones where the drink glasses were all a different style and the menu had hard to pronounce entrees. Broken down, the words usually translated to soups and sandwiches, which I figured would do right by Alex’s stomach. I knew about the place because my younger brothers wanted to go there one time, college boys or what have you. I figured it’d be a nice place for Alex to go to as well. It was colorful and nice on the eyes.
I opened the door for her with a chime and allowed her to go in before me. Eleven o’clock on a weekday, not many folks were dining just yet. Alex passed me, taking her seat at a booth, and I took mine across from her. She wore these shorts she got from her bag, a tank top, and tennis shoes. They must have been something she got while she’d been gone, and… she took my gaze like something crazy. She looked so simple, so perfect.
She caught me staring and her menu went in front of her eyes. Like she was shy or something. The waitress penned down our order moments later. Alex got soup and a salad while I chose a sandwich. We finally had time alone and I reached into my pocket, taking out what I owed her. I pushed the wad of cash her way and she picked it up, sighing.
She chewed her lip. “Brody, I can’t take anything more from you. Money especially. It just doesn’t feel right.”
She got it all wrong and that made sense. I placed my hands on the table. “It’s actually yours,” I said, pointing at the stack. “Your friend at the club, the one in the pink wig? She said it was, uh, your earnings. She wanted me to give it to you.”
Her fingers toyed with the bills and her expression changed, sad instead of happy like I thought she’d be at getting what was hers. Setting it on the table, she did a quick feather through with her fingers and shook her head.
“What’s up?” I asked her.
She faced me. “It’s too much. I never earned this much the other nights.”
She caught on quickly and I knew I had to explain.
Tapping my fists on the table, I sat back. “It’s not just from the club.”
Her eyes narrowed. “I don’t understand.”
“It’s from Chloe,” I said, coming right out with it. There wasn’t a point in beating around the bush here. “What she took from you. She told me everything.”
I watched her hard, trying to get into her headspace. But like many times before, Alex proved to be an extra careful concealer, of everything, her emotions and all.
She put her hand to her mouth. “I don’t know what to say.”
The thing is, I did. So much, really. I started with this. “You should have told me, Alex. You had me thinking…” I didn’t want to finish. I couldn’t stomach the words what she’d allowed me to believe about her, that she was even capable of stealing. “What she did to you was wrong and because of it, had you thinking you needed to…”
I could hear myself getting frustrated, with Chloe and with myself for getting all riled up because of her. I looked up and Alex’s expression had me feeling so much worse, her eyes cringing.
“For what, Brody?” she asked, sitting back. “For thinking I had to what?”
I didn’t understand the question as the answer I felt obvious. “For the other night. She pushed you into a corner for money.”
Her arms folded over her chest. I had seen Alex closed off before. I found her that way, but even then wasn’t like this. She shut down. She felt far away all of a sudden and I had no idea why.
She played with her water glass. “You think better of me than I am,” she said, nodding with it. “I’ve done this before, Brody. Danced. So many times.”
The words didn’t surprise me. Though, she didn’t look comfortable up there, she did know her way around the stage. I leaned in. “Anything you’ve done is whatever you felt you needed to do to survive, Alex. To get by and I get that. I respect that.”
She pressed her lips together, looking on the cusp of shedding tears I had only heard on the road before, never right in front of me. I reached across the table, for her hand, to touch her, but I didn’t make it far. The waitress came back with our order, placing my sandwich and chips in front of me and her order in front of her. I thanked her and she left, but I just stared at my food, losing my appetite all of a sudden. Alex didn’t reach for her order either and I was ninety percent sure that didn’t have anything to do with her stomach. She was just so guarded and she didn’t have to be. I’d never judge her, ever, and I had a strong feeling all this, everything weaved up inside her wasn’t just about her, but a little boy a couple states away.
“You dancing…” I started, thinking about how to word what I had to say next. There was no easy way. “You dancing or anything else you’ve had to do for money is okay—”
“It’s only dancing,” she said, breathing. She played with her napkin. “It’s only ever been dancing. What you saw me doing, what you found me doing when we met, I’d never done before. That’s was the first time, Brody. I swear. I’ve also sold drugs, but that was back in New York when things when got really bad. With that guy at the diner, I had nothing and he offered and I needed it. I needed it so bad for us—”
Her own words, she silenced. She didn’t finish, but I had a feeling I knew where she was going. Kind of like I’d had a
feeling about her. I had a feeling she had never tried to sell herself before that night. What she said only confirmed it. But what was going on? What all was she keeping in about her and…
Folding my hands, I rested them on the table. “How did your call go?” I dared to ask her, thinking this was exactly where I needed to go with the conversation. “Last night with your nephew?”
This hit a trigger like I knew it would. It hit because it was something personal. I’d heard some of what she and her nephew exchanged faintly through the door, but nothing of note. I just knew Aiden wanted her to come home so bad, urgently, and with what she was willing to do in order to make that happen, red flags were definitely set off with me.
Alex only shook her head in response, but that made me want to push more as she didn’t look any closer to holding her tears back. In fact, they looked on the cusp of spilling over at any moment.
“Is he okay?” I asked, going there. “Aiden. Is he all right?”
Her arms folded over her chest and she whispered, “I don’t know.”
The words absolutely chilled me. I swallowed. “Why? Is he hurt? Is he in danger? Alex…”
I lost her again when she looked away, but she couldn’t escape this time. No, I wouldn’t let her. I grabbed her hand, holding it and keeping her here with me.
I squeezed. “I want to help you, but I can’t do that if I don’t know what I’m dealing with.”
Her bottom lip slid into her mouth. She nibbled on it. “I can’t ask that of you. Your help? I can’t take another thing, Brody. Not another damn thing.”
“You didn’t ask,” I told her, urging the statement. “You didn’t, so if something’s wrong I need you to tell me. I need you to let me help.”
Her hand clenched in a tight fist on the table, so I slid over, taking that one, too. What I didn’t expect was her to be holding something I hadn’t seen in so long. She opened her hand and square in the middle, sat the mood ring I gave her on the road. She never got rid of it. She had it this whole time.
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