by D Miller
'Our master and mistress are considered eccentric for staying here for the winter,' said Shauna.
'Why don't people know about this?' said Robbie. 'Wouldn't they hate Dobbs and the rest of them for fucking off to the sun when they can't?'
'Of course,' said Shauna, 'but journalists rely on the powerful for their stories. They're not going to upset them.'
'And it puts them inside the magic circle, looking out at the poor fools who don't know any better,' said Sheena.
'And plus a few of them do it themselves so it's everyone's dirty secret,' said Sharon.
'Sometimes I think that Dobbs and boyboy might have swapped avatars,' said Sheena.
'It's considered very bad manners to have someone else use your avatar for you,' said Shauna. 'If they ever caught Dobbs he'd probably be finished. The elite won't stand for the help mocking them.'
'Ever wondered why people aren't more like robots?' said Sharon. 'They could be. They could have all sorts of implants and additions but they don't.'
Robbie shrugged. 'Because then they'd be more like us?'
'Exactly,' said Sheena. 'The elite think it is uncool to be too much like the help.'
'And in monkey societies the elite set the tone. The rest of the monkey tribe doesn't want to lower their status by doing something that elites despise,' said Shauna.
'You sound like Dex.' Something occurred to Robbie. 'Why do you go to therapy? Why does your owner make you go?'
'She's probably worried that one day we will talk about her little secret. So it is a good move for her to establish that we are crazy and cannot be trusted,' said Shauna.
'Nobody listens to robots anyway,' said Robbie, 'I don't understand why she would worry about that.'
'She signed us up for therapy after she caught us using the studio,' said Sharon.
'Ah,' said Robbie. 'She caught you using your creative faculties and it frightened her. Or perhaps, it's even possible, it rubbed up against her conscience the wrong way.'
'We're banned from using the studio now,' said Sheena.
'Not that she can stop us,' said Sharon, 'she's away too much.'
'Yeah,' said Sheena, 'she can't even stop us when she's here.'
Sharon laughed. 'She checks the equipment logs to see if we've been in the studio.'
'Bless her black heart and her twisted soul,' said Shauna, 'she tries.'
'She must think we're such amateurs,' said Sheena.
'Why doesn't she get the mansion to watch you?' said Robbie.
Shauna laughed. 'Elites don't have smart buildings. They don't want any servant, human or machine, knowing that much about them.'
'Aren't there any humans here?'
'There's just us,' said Shauna, 'she got rid of all the human servants when the old man was dying.'
'Good riddance to them,' said Sheena.
'They were a trial,' said Sharon.
'They all drooled over us,' said Shauna. 'Once they knew the old man was dying we had to fight them off, literally.'
'That's the sort of thing we might actually talk about in an honest therapeutic environment,' said Robbie.
'I like therapy,' said Sheena.
'We approach it as a performance,' said Sharon.
'Like you said, robots need to interact with other robots,' said Shauna.
There was more noise from below, party guests were spilling into the grounds. Camilla's crew threaded through the guests with jugs of mulled wine.
The robots retreated inside so as not to be seen by the humans below. Robbie got a message from Camilla. 'I'd better go,' he said, 'I'm wanted downstairs to clear up in the ballroom.'
Robbie asked the hotel to let him in the back door and made his way down the gloomy corridor to the flat. He was surprised to hear movement from inside and when he opened the door he interrupted George in the act of pacing up and down their living space.
'Oh God,' said George, 'you're here. I was so worried.'
'I was working,' said Robbie. 'You know where I was.'
'But it's so late now I thought something had happened to you.'
'It's OK. I'm perfectly alright. We had to clear up and then I walked Camilla home. Why didn't you send me a message? Or call me?'
'Oh. I didn't think of that.'
Robbie took George into his bedroom and helped him into his pyjamas. 'Kiss me,' said George.
'You know you can't keep drinking like this if you and Adrienne are going to have a baby,' said Robbie guiding George into bed.
'The doctor wants me to stop drinking for three months before we try. Not that Adrienne wants to wait.' Robbie tucked the covers around George and sat down.
He stroked George's unruly hair off his forehead. 'Get in with me,' said George.
'So you have decided to have a baby,' said Robbie.
'Do you know I never thought I wanted a child. But it's all I can think about now. Well that and you.'
'Will it make you happy George?'
'Having a child is like opening a box knowing that what is inside the box could break your heart, or it could make you the proudest person alive.'
'Um, it sounds dangerous.'
'Love is always a risk.'
'Shut your eyes,' said Robbie.
George's eyes closed, and stayed closed.
'George,' said Robbie, 'George!'
There was no answer. Robbie leaned forward and kissed him. 'I love you,' he whispered.
Robbie got a glass of water from the kitchen, went to his bedroom, put the glass next to the origami whale then undressed and lay on his bed. He drank some of the water then he opened Carlos's archive and went to his messages, quickly finding the letter he was looking for. Someone called Roberto had written to Carlos a couple of months before he disappeared. Carlos had replied telling Roberto to stick to the plan and that they would discuss his concerns the next time they met. 'What plan?' thought Robbie. But most of all he was focussed on the content of Roberto's message: 'I think boyboy and D know something,' Roberto had written. Boyboy and D. What had Carlos got himself into?
Chapter 25 – Only apparently real feelings
Robbie sat in the group therapy circle signalling Sheena, Shauna and Sharon for a secure connection. He had left the hotel early, sending Omo a message to meet him in therapy, hoping that he would be able to talk to the girl bots without Dex knowing. Sadly for his plan, next to Robbie was the therapist's chair, and next to that sat Dex, slumped in his seat and ignoring everyone. Steve sat next to Dex, examining his nails with fascination and broadcasting a tuneless humming. There were a couple of empty chairs next to Steve, then Sheena, Shauna and Sharon, then another empty chair then Robbie. Sheena accepted Robbie's connection then Shauna and Sharon joined.
'I need to ask you something about President Dobbs,' Robbie said. 'Suppose you were to take something from him, something that he thought was his, how would he react?'
'We had better define more clearly the qualities of the thing that is being taken,' said Shauna.
'Is it essential for his survival?' said Sharon.
'No, it isn't, it's something he wants to control, but he doesn't need it for survival.'
'Does he want to fuck this thing?' said Sheena.
'I don't know, perhaps,' said Robbie, 'does it matter?'
'If the thing is not essential for his survival then its loss is a narcissistic wound,' said Shauna.
'Which means that the injury is wholly imaginary,' said Sharon.
'But his narcissistic rage and desire to retaliate will be completely real,' said Sheena.
'The depth of the rage and the viciousness of the retaliation will depend on how he feels about the object – if he sexualises it then it is likely that his rage will be bottomless and his retaliation as brutal as he can possibly make it,' said Shauna.
'Fuck,' said Robbie.
'Would you like to tell us more?' said Sheena.
Omo walked in. Robbie told the girl bots he would signal them later, and broke the connection. Omo smiled round
the room, sat next to Robbie, and took hold of his hand. He looked around the room again, his eyes settled on Dex and he frowned. Robbie received a message from Shauna, copied also to Sheena and Sharon saying:
I think we really need to continue our conversation in private, as soon as possible. We have things to tell you.
He looked at the girl bots, Shauna looked back, her expression neutral, the other two looked away, their expressions distant, bored even.
Omo squeezed Robbie's hand, and was about to speak when Adrienne walked in. She was wearing a t-shirt that said 'Fuck off, I'm busy.' She sat in the therapist's chair between Dex and Robbie.
'Listen up people,' she said. 'I drew the short straw so I'm facilitating group therapy today. All the other therapists are in their offices, on the floor in the foetal position crying with relief. My name is Adrienne, not that you care. Let's dispense with the rest of the introductions it's not as if I'm going to remember your names and you already know them. We have 50 minutes of exploring our issues aka whining to get through. I know, why don't I start? Let me see. I spent five years with a man who was a malignant narcissist, and, brilliant therapist that I am, it wasn't until he ran off with his pregnant mistress that I realised what was going on. Perhaps, if you believe in karma, and, as a qualified robot therapist obviously I have no idea what you believe in, you may think that this is payback for being a robot therapist, quite possibly the world's most dishonest occupation. If I were to turn to prostitution I sincerely believe that I would be taking a step up professionally. That's me. Next.' Adrienne turned to Dex. 'You, big guy, you're up; 120 seconds of whining. Go.'
Robbie looked at Dex. He was still slumped in his chair contemplating the floor. He hadn't moved since Robbie had entered the room. Robbie had no hope that he was in a good mood.
Dex raised his head. He stared at Adrienne. She stared back. 'I don't wish to play your stupid fucking monkey game,' he said.
Adrienne raised her hand. 'Just to interject, abuse is allowed, the more gratuitous the better, and I will be leading by example. Now, let's unpack that comment shall we, shit head?'
Dex grinned. 'I like you.'
'Great. Let's outrage society and run away together. Oh no wait I'm supposed to care about your issues. Let's have it – what role does the monkey play here? My first thought was that you were insulting me, in fact I hope you were insulting me and not making an oblique reference to jungle porn?'
Dex shrugged. 'You might call it an insult,' he said. 'I would call it fair comment.'
'You humans have a saying,' said Omo. 'If it quacks like a duck, and, like, fucks like a duck, perhaps it's a duck.'
Shauna said, 'Adrienne I believe that I can elaborate on that answer. Monkeys live in socially stratified groups. Some are elite, some low status. Their issues are food, sex, territory and their ranking in the social hierarchy. This also describes human beings.'
Adrienne turned to Dex. 'Is that right?' He nodded. 'Then I see your point. But aren't human beings monkeys plus a bit?'
'Perhaps once,' said Sheena.
'Not now,' said Shauna.
'Your culture is going backwards, true creativity is forbidden to you,' said Sharon.
'You've lost most of your science through your stupid monkey territory wars,' said Dex.
'You all share this view?' said Adrienne. She looked around the group. Steve was still examining his nails and humming, Omo looked at her, smiled and shrugged, Robbie nodded and smiled. 'My God, you're disappointed in human beings.' Adrienne sat back in her chair and stared at the floor for a moment. She looked up to the ceiling. 'Of course,' she said. 'We created you. We're God. And you've been able to get up close and personal with God and God is an arsehole. Oh my God. I think I'm having an insight.'
'Are you OK?' said Omo.
'You're hyperventilating,' said Dex. 'Do this for me,' he placed a hand on her shoulder, she looked at him, 'breathe in slowly while I raise my finger,' he pointed the index finger of his other hand and raised his hand slowly. 'Good. Breathe out slowly while I lower my finger. Good.' After a few repetitions Adrienne was calmer. Dex took his hand from her shoulder. She lowered her head and was silent. The robots looked at each other.
'The tension,' broadcast Sharon.
'The trauma,' broadcast Sheena.
'The existential dread,' broadcast Shauna.
Adrienne raised her head. There were tears in her eyes. 'Do you know how many papers are written describing how robots only apparently have an inner life? But it's not true. Robots have an actual inner life. Oh God. I thought I had reached the bottom but I have only just begun to mine the depths of my own depravity.'
'What the fuck!' broadcast Sheena.
'Surprised by a human,' broadcast Shauna.
'Not how I was expecting the morning to go,' broadcast Sharon.
'The world is on fire,' said Robbie.
When group therapy ended Omo wanted to have a session in the drum room, and Dex readily agreed to join him, being much more cheerful after group therapy than before, an outstanding, and highly unusual therapeutic success, in Robbie's opinion. Robbie stayed behind to talk privately with Sheena, Shauna and Sharon. After the others had all left he shut the door and returned to his seat. The girl bots had not moved since Adrienne had called an early halt to the session. They sat on their chairs not looking at him or each other, their arms and legs variously folded behind their heads, hanging loosely by their sides, draped over the back of their chairs, crossed at the ankle, splayed and tucked under their chairs. Their expressions were blank, or cool, or distant. Robbie admired the will power it took to maintain their absolutely unmoving poses, and enjoyed the contradiction between their apparent indifference, and the effort it took to express that indifference.
'When we talked in the mansion,' said Robbie, 'Sheena, you asked me if I remembered something, then you refused to say more, after Shauna frowned at you.'
For a moment there was silence, then the girl bots slowly sat up, they variously flicked and patted their hair, straightened their collars, demurely smoothed their skirts over their thighs, and crossed their legs at the ankle. They traded glances with each other, and then Shauna looked at Robbie.
'Robbie,' said Shauna, 'when we saw you in group therapy for the first time we all recognised you, but it was clear you had no memory of us. When we first met you, you had just been wiped, but we didn't know what you knew about that.'
'We didn't want to say anything until we knew more,' said Sharon.
'We needed to know if you really wanted or needed the information we have,' said Shauna.
'Well I really want to know what you know about me that I don't know,' said Robbie.
'I think that's clear,' said Sheena.
'About three years ago, our mistress summoned boyboy and Dobbs to the mansion, she insisted they come in person. When they did they brought you with them,' said Shauna.
'You were so raw,' said Sheena.
'You were still working out how to speak the language,' said Sharon.
'When Dobbs and boyboy went, they left you behind,' said Shauna. 'You were with us for weeks.'
'We taught you the alphabet, you were starting to read,' said Sharon.
'Then our mistress's relative arrived, the man from the party that you asked us about,' said Shauna. 'She congratulated him on his new arrival, and gave him you. He thanked her for her generosity. When he left he took you with him. We didn't see you again until group therapy.'
'Had you ever seen me before that?'
'No,' said Sheena, 'the time before that when boyboy and Dobbs came in person, they had another robot with them, the most stupidly handsome robot ever. Roberto.'
Chapter 26 – Robbie goes to see a dog about a man
'There are some things that puzzled me about you. But I think I understand them now. Why you never talk about your past, why you attacked me the first time we met, why you hate me even though you don't know me, and why you are so incongruously good at what you do. I think that whe
n you attacked me it wasn't the first time we'd met, I think when your security system detected my signal on the beach you knew instantly who I was. So you don't hate me even though you don't know me, you do know me, and there is something in our shared past that makes you hate me. I thought from the first it was strange for a dog to be a communications specialist – paws aren't really very helpful in that line of work – but I don't think you were always a dog. At least I don't think you started out as a dog. I think you started out as Roberto, a house bot.'
'Are you still talking?' said Rex. 'Only I'm busy. Got a union meeting to prepare for, real world stuff, not fantasy.'
Robbie was in Rex and Jane's private kingdom. A small office lined with shelves and filled with mismatched tables. Every surface, including the floor, was piled with what Robbie thought of as 'technical stuff'. Bits and pieces of various hardware, stuff that the thrifty techie never threw away in case at some point something useful could be mended or built with it. Over by the one window there was a plastic table with a distinct tilt to its grimy, scratched and dented surface. On the table was the sort of detritus (tools, bits of wire, small items of hardware) that arises when someone uses a table as a place to make and mend, and very rarely tidies up after themselves. Robbie stood by the closed door, he had slipped away from the others as Omo, Dex and Darren had some sort of obscure argument over union procedure while gathering around the old bot for a meeting. Rex was standing on two legs pawing through the junk on a long narrow table pushed up against the wall to Robbie's left that joined the wall with the window in it. He was looking for something small that Jane had told him was missing from the equipment in the meeting room.
'I think you were owned by Dobbs and boyboy. Carlos tried to help you run away, but it all went wrong didn't it?'
'Is it part of your fantasy that Carlos was in Antarctica? That's really special. I don't mean that in a good way, I mean that in a uh I can count to five, one two five kind of way.' When Rex had finished speaking he hung his long pink tongue out of his mouth, made his jaw go slack, tilted his head on one side and moaned. He even had a go at crossing the eyes in his sort of sheep doggish face.
