‘I won’t. That’s settled then, I’ll go over tomorrow and ask her.’
‘You’ll go over there?’ Adam couldn’t keep the skepticism from his voice. Everything was happening too fast. His dad leaving, his mum taking the step to try get help again, her voluntarily deciding to venture further than the paddocks adjacent to the house. Life felt like a nausea-inducing rollercoaster and he just wanted to get off.
She nodded, smiling coyly. ‘I went over there when Ruby was helping fix up the cottage, didn’t I?’
‘Yes, but…’ he sighed. Inwardly he was proud of her and ecstatic that she was attempting to put herself out there, but why did it have to involve the woman who was twisting him inside-out?
‘Never mind.’ He shook his head and turned back to the computers. ‘I think it’s a great idea, but now, let’s focus on the task at hand. Getting you connected to the modern world.’
He might not be able to understand Stella or keep up with his mum’s mood swings, but thank the Lord, he could wrangle technology when necessary.
‘Hey Heidi? Want to play I Spy?’ Stella sat down on the front step next to a glum-looking Heidi.
Fatter than ever, Whiskers sat with her head on Heidi’s lap, purring loudly. Her fingers absentmindedly running over the cat’s fur, Heidi shook her head. Her pigtails swayed sadly, if pigtails could do such a thing.
‘What about we make ice-cream sundaes?’ Stella tried. ‘Or choc-chip cookies with extra chocolate.’
‘No.’
Stella sighed and wrapped her arm around Heidi drawing her into her side. She felt like the worst mum on the planet. Ever. In the history of civilisation.
Three nights had passed since they’d snuggled together on Heidi’s bed and Stella had promised she’d do something to help Lily-Blue. A promise she was yet to live up to. Instead, during the day, Stella tried her best to distract her daughter – taking her off the farm, away from the sad little ghost, to do lots of fun things. Each day they’d spent an hour at Ruby’s house and although Heidi adored her sessions with Roberta, she’d not been her usual self. Her smile no longer stretched from ear-to-ear in its usual manner and her unrelenting chatter had all but ceased. Stella had filled her days with activities in the hope she’d sleep at night but it hadn’t worked. While Stella tapped away on her laptop at the end of Heidi’s bed, trying to focus on her edits, her little girl tossed and turned and cried in her sleep.
Stella hadn’t experienced any sign of the spirit or ghost or whatever Lily-Blue was since that night, but she wasn’t silly enough to think the problem was gone. No matter what she did, she was helpless in drawing out her little girl from of her bubble of woe. This situation wasn’t just going to go away because she wanted it to. She knew the time had come when she had to swallow her fears and speak to Adam.
Normally she would do absolutely anything to make her daughter happy but this wasn’t just a case of telling some ghost story. This was personal and the idea of confronting Adam petrified her.
She’d had some difficult conversations in her life – telling Samuel she was pregnant, telling her parents and then telling all of them she planned on keeping her baby despite the devastating test results – but she’d never had to do anything like this. She had no idea how he’d react. Would he be angry? Or maybe he’d laugh in her face?
But it was the alternative that scared her. What if he believed her? What if she turned his and his parents’ life upside down for nothing? It didn’t bear thinking about.
‘The Christmas tree is tonight,’ she whispered into Heidi’s hair, thinking it would be good to focus on something fun and happy. ‘Remember Ruby told us about it. Santa is going to come and bring you a special present. And Adam will be there.’
Heidi perked up a little and turned to look at her mum. Stella wasn’t sure what part of the conversation had piqued her interest – the presents or seeing Ruby or Adam – but she was glad to see the sparkle in her daughter’s eyes. ‘And darling?’
‘Yes.’
‘You know how I asked you to trust me about Lily-Blue?’
Heidi nodded.
‘I’m working on things. I promise.’ It was time to stop thinking and act. If it all went balls-up, she could whisk Heidi away and never have to see Adam or his family again.
‘Okay.’
Adam was playing Santa for all the kids tonight and she didn’t want to ruin that, but she made a deal with herself that she would face him afterwards. That’s if he still wanted to talk to her after she’d all but given him the middle finger. Her heart ached as she recalled the look of hurt that had crossed his face when she’d turned him down a few nights ago. What must he think of her?
‘Honey, Lily-Blue lives in the cottage now, right?’ She didn’t know what had compelled her to ask this question.
Heidi frowned and shook her head. ‘No. She lives under tree.’
‘What?’
Heidi stood up and Whiskers stalked off in a huff. Heidi grabbed Stella’s hand. ‘Come, Mummy.’
Stella’s heart thrashed around wildly in her chest as she let her daughter lead her around the back of the cottage. Both the front and the backyard were closed off with a white picket fence, but whereas the front yard had been tended to, the back yard was a sparse patch of dry grass. Right next to the fence stood a large jacaranda tree, its bright purple flowers the only colour in a sea of light brown.
Heidi stopped in front of it and pointed to the ground. ‘She lives there.’
Shivering, despite the thirty-degree day, Stella only just stopped herself asking Heidi why her friend lived under a tree. She guessed the answer wasn’t pretty and she only hoped Heidi didn’t know.
‘Yoohoo? Anyone home?’
Stella startled and pulled Heidi away from the tree at the sound of Esther’s voice. ‘We’re coming,’ she called, dragging Heidi back around the front because she didn’t want the other woman to find them and wonder why they were standing mournfully at the bottom of the tree.
They found Adam’s mother on the front veranda, stroking Whiskers who had repositioned herself and looked set for the day on the love seat. Esther looked up and smiled as Heidi ran over and threw her arms around her waist.
‘Hello, sweetheart.’ Esther returned the hug. ‘I’ve missed you the last couple of days.’
‘Missed you,’ Heidi replied, still hugging tightly.
Stella’s heartstrings pulled. She’d been so scared Heidi might say something about Lily-Blue that she’d kept her away from Esther as well as Adam, but now she could see how close they’d become. While she liked that Heidi had developed another close relationship, she worried about how it might break her heart when they had to leave.
Dammit, her head ached with everything she had to worry about.
‘Are you okay?’ Concern was etched in the lines around Esther’s eyes.
‘Yes, fine,’ Stella lied, summoning a smile from somewhere deep within. ‘Just a little tired.’ There she went again with the old tired excuse. But it was the truth. Sleep had eluded her the last few nights.
‘Why don’t I take Heidi for you this afternoon and you can have a little nap?’ Esther suggested.
Heidi’s eyes lit up.
‘That sounds great,’ Stella began, ‘but I think Heidi needs a rest today as well. We’re going to the Christmas tree in town tonight and I don’t want her tired.’
‘Oh, that’ll be fun.’ Stella could see Esther was working hard to keep the disappointment off her face and she felt bad for depriving her of time with Heidi, but she just couldn’t bring herself to risk it.
‘You come?’ Heidi jumped up and down and did a little jig at the idea.
Stella recognised the panic in Esther’s eyes. ‘Darling,’ she told Heidi, ‘it’s an event for kids. Esther might get bored.’
‘Thank you,’ Esther mouthed to Stella. Then added, ‘I know I should go and I want to but I don’t think I can.’
‘I understand.’ Stella couldn’t imagine how trapped Est
her must feel. From what Adam had described, grief had turned to panic and now the poor woman couldn’t leave the property without physical ramifications.
At the pout on Heidi’s face, Esther said, ‘But I came to ask you something important. Adam and I would love for the both of you to join us for lunch on Christmas Day.’
‘Yes!’ Heidi actually punched the air and then resumed dancing while yelling ‘Christmas, Christmas’ at the top of her lungs.
Whiskers leapt off the love seat and ran off round the back. Stella fought to urge to follow her. Instead she placed a hand against her chest in an aim to ease the tightness and hoped Esther couldn’t tell how much the invitation panicked her.
A whole day with Adam. And Christmas of all days.
Had he wanted his mother to offer this invitation? She wanted to believe so, but thought it unlikely the way she’d given him the cold shoulder these last few days. And after she’d spoken to him about his sister, he might be more likely to throw her off the farm than invite her anywhere.
‘You don’t need to bring anything,’ Esther said, apparently interpreting Stella’s silence to mean she was worried about inane things like food, drink or presents. If only. ‘I like cooking and it’ll simply be nice to have more than just Adam to do it for.’
The thought of Esther’s inedible pudding almost brought a smile to Stella’s face. ‘Yes. That’d. Be. Lovely,’ she managed.
‘Great.’ Esther beamed. It was the first time Stella had seen her truly smile. ‘You let me know if there’s anything special you two like to eat and I’ll have Adam buy anything I need.’
‘Thank you. And are you sure you don’t want me to bring anything?’
‘Just yourselves.’ With a wave of her fingers and a quick kiss on the top of Heidi’s head, Esther walked down the steps and headed home. Heidi resumed her crazy Christmas chanting and dancing, and Stella very much doubted she’d be able to get her to rest before they went out later that afternoon.
Chapter Seventeen
Stella drove around the car park by Bunyip Bay’s main beach three times before she found a space. She’d never seen it so full and as she’d watched happy families spilling out of their four-wheel drives, she’d almost used the lack of available parking as an excuse to leave. Crowds scared her; she always felt on edge waiting for someone to say something cruel to or about Heidi. But, knowing Heidi would be gutted if they didn’t go, she forced herself into parking the car and unloading Heidi and their picnic basket.
In the light of Heidi’s recent worries, Stella wouldn’t have been able to forgive herself if she’d robbed her of this simple joy.
‘Look, Mummy. Frankie!’ Heidi shouted and pointed down the beach towards the gathering crowd. Stella only just managed to keep hold of her hand and the other things she was juggling.
Frankie, wearing a Santa’s elf outfit, looked up at the sound of her name and waved. Some of Stella’s discomfort lifted and as she headed across the sand towards her new friend, she couldn’t help but scan the crowds for another familiar face.
Right in front of the dunes, a beach marquee had been set up and inside sat an ornate Santa throne and a mountain of brightly wrapped presents. No sign of Santa though. She wondered if he was waiting off to the side somewhere until all the kids had arrived.
The early evening breeze was warm and carried the excited chatter of the town’s children towards them. She hadn’t even known there were this many people in Bunyip Bay but it seemed as if everyone between the ages of one and one hundred were out tonight for what Frankie said was the most anticipated event on the Bunyip Bay calendar. ‘Besides the Undies Run,’ she’d added. Stella had no idea what the Undies Run was and guessed she wouldn’t be in town long enough to find out.
‘Hello.’ Frankie took the basket off Stella as soon as they were close enough, dumped it on the ground and then air-kissed her and ruffled Heidi’s hair. ‘So glad you could come. Ruby, Simone and I have a picnic rug set up. Come sit with us. Ruby and I will be busy until after the present giving but then we can all have a few drinks.’
‘When are the presents being distributed?’ Stella asked, which actually meant, when does Santa arrive? She’d had three days to prepare her body for seeing Adam again but the way she felt right now, she didn’t think three years would have been long enough. Her desperate ovaries warred with her brain. They didn’t give a damn that she felt all tied up in knots about talking to him; they just wanted to jump his bones.
Frankie smiled knowingly and then leaned forward to whisper in Stella’s ear. ‘Adam will be arriving in the fire engine in about ten minutes.’
‘Good,’ Stella replied primly. ‘Heidi can’t wait.’
Frankie whisked them off to the picnic rug where Simone sat nursing a glass of wine. ‘I remember a time when we used to come to the Christmas tree and my daughters actually wanted to hang with me. Now they’re off down the end of the beach doing who knows what with boys,’ she said, by way of a greeting. Then she opened her arms wide and smiled at Heidi. ‘You’ll sit with me, won’t you?’
Heidi didn’t need to be asked twice. She did a running jump into Simone’s lap, almost spilling the wine. Simone laughed as Heidi snuggled in. ‘Can I get you a glass?’ she asked Stella, indicating a bottle of wine sitting in a chiller.
Stella shook her head as she sunk to her knees on the picnic mat. While the Dutch courage might be useful, she needed to maintain a clear head for the conversation she planned to have with Adam that night. ‘I’m driving, so I’ll stick to Diet Coke.’
Simone didn’t push the issue and they settled into easy conversation while Heidi sat back to people watch. As Frankie had promised, barely ten minutes passed before the fire engine siren pierced the air. Over the dunes, Stella could see the top of the truck and the bright flashing lights. Her stomach flipped with the knowledge she’d soon see Adam. Kids scrambled to be first in the line to get their present but Heidi hung back, overcome with an uncharacteristic shyness. Not wanting her to miss out, Stella swallowed her own discomfort and encouraged Heidi out of her safe spot on Simone’s lap. Stella took one of her hands and Simone took the other. Together the three of them walked across the sand towards the marquee.
‘Ho, ho, ho!’ Stella heard Adam’s deep voice before she saw him. Then the hordes of eager children parted like the Red Sea and she got her first glimpse of the man who’d been first and foremost in her mind the last few days. And wow! Even boasting extra padding, wearing a bright red and white suit and the token fluffy white beard on his face, he set her heart racing. She felt completely bowled over by her desire and for one moment contemplated sleeping with him again before they had the chat.
He walked past her and although she swore he saw her, he very pointedly looked the other way. Maybe she’d missed her chance. She swallowed her disappointment as Adam took to the Santa throne. The kids gathered in haphazard lines in front of him and Stella forced herself to concentrate on Heidi. They watched the children down the front step up to collect their presents. Most were eager and posed happily for photos but a few of the younger ones screamed blue murder and in the end their parents had to get their gift. When a couple of mums insisted on sitting on Santa’s lap, Stella clenched her fists forgetting she was still holding Heidi’s hand.
‘Ouch, Mummy.’ Heidi yelped and yanked her hand out of Stella’s.
‘Sorry, sweetie.’ Stella bit her lip. It was torture watching other women getting up close and personal with Adam.
Then it was Heidi’s turn.
Adam looked towards them and gestured to Heidi, still not meeting Stella’s gaze. ‘Is there a Heidi in the house?’ he said with a ho-ho-ho.
‘Go on, honey, that’s you.’ Stella nudged Heidi on the shoulder, but her feet remained planted in the sand.
‘Heidi?’ she whispered.
‘Scared,’ came Heidi’s reply. Stella couldn’t recall another time that Heidi had admitted to being scared. Sometimes her fearlessness worried Stella, so why-oh-why did s
he have to choose now?
Simone stooped down and also tried to encourage Heidi forward. ‘You want your present, don’t you?’
Heidi’s large eyes filled with tears, misting up her glasses as she nodded solemnly. Stella couldn’t stand it a moment longer. She marched up to the throne, looked Adam dead in the eyes, tried to smile and held out her hands for the gift.
He cocked his head to one side and grinned. ‘Have you been good, Stella?’
‘Yes,’ she hissed through gritted teeth, aware the eyes of a whole town were boring into her back.
Adam patted his lap. ‘In that case…’
Stella opened her mouth to tell him to stop being ridiculous but then thought what the heck? She’d do anything to get Heidi’s present and if Adam was willing to have her sit on him, she would welcome that moment of bodily contact. Without another thought, she stepped right up and plonked herself on Adam’s lap. He wrapped his arms around her as someone in the crowd shouted, ‘Smile!’
She looked up in time to see a flash go off. Frankie stepped forward with a big box wrapped in Christmas paper, but not before Adam whispered in Stella’s ear. ‘I’ve missed you, Stella.’
Her bones melted at his words and she felt herself leaning closer into him, desperate to feel his intimate touch once again. ‘Me too,’ she answered honestly.
‘Can I come round tonight?’
‘Yes.’ Her head swam with the divine scent of him.
‘Good,’ Adam smiled and then gestured beside them to Frankie waiting with the gift. ‘I hope Heidi likes her present.’
‘I’m sure she will.’ Trying to do so in a dignified manner, Stella slid off Adam’s lap and took the gift from Frankie. She barely remembered walking the short distance across the sand back to Heidi and forgot to take photos as her daughter eagerly tore the paper off her present. She felt intoxicated at being so damn close to Adam again and wondered how she was going to keep her head long enough to have the conversation that must be had.
Outback Ghost Page 21
