by Leah Brooke
Please, God, don’t let us lose another baby.
Blade turned away, whispering frantically into the phone before turning back to her. His eyes held a hint of wildness when they met hers again, but his tone remained calm and controlled. “Calm down, baby. An ambulance is coming to take us to the hospital.”
She gripped his hand and tried to sit up, but found herself lowered to her back. “No! No ambulance. You drive me.” The thought of having to ride in an ambulance again terrified her.
“I’m losing the baby, aren’t I? This can’t be happening again!”
Blade gathered her in his arms, lifting her against his hard chest. Sitting on the edge of the bed, he settled her on his lap, wrapping her in a blanket. “Calm down, baby. Please. Breathe slowly. In and out. That’s my girl.”
“Blade, it’s too early. The lungs aren’t ready, but my water already broke. The baby’s coming. He’s not moving.” Terrified, and in agony, she held on to him, looking into his eyes.
Looking to him for guidance and support.
Her rock.
As her husband, her lover, her Master, she’d learned to rely on his guidance and strength, never more so than at that moment.
Blade’s tense smile didn’t reach his eyes, his playful tone an obvious effort to reassure her. “I’m glad you finally realize I’m right and we’re having a boy. Now, just relax and take nice, slow breaths for me.”
“Why do we have to go by ambulance? Why can’t you drive me? Something’s wrong, isn’t it?” She couldn’t calm down, and struggled to slow her breathing, but the panic and fear nearly choked her.
“Of course not.” Rocking her, he buried his face in her hair. “Everything’s going to be just fine. We’re going to the hospital and having a baby. Eight months, Kelly. The baby’ll be just fine, and so will you.”
“Then why do we have to go by ambulance?”
* * * *
Blade forced a smile to hide his horror. “Because I want to hold you, and it’ll be faster.” Every minute seemed to last an eternity. Murmuring to Kelly, he tried to keep the terror out of his voice as he waited, while at the same time holding her gaze.
He knew what he had to do to calm her, but it had never been as difficult as now.
He’d wrapped her in the blanket, hoping she didn’t see the blood, but could even now feel it soaking the front of his trousers.
She looked pale—too pale. Her eyes glimmered with pain and fear, her hand moving almost continuously over her swollen abdomen.
God, he loved her. If anything happened to her…
The sound of the siren piercing the night sky had to be the most wonderful sound he’d ever heard.
She was too damned pale!
Her grip on him didn’t seem as strong as before, her small, pale hands almost lifeless in his. The fear and love in her eyes ripped at his heart, the trust in them giving him the strength he needed to push back the mind-numbing terror.
Forcing a smile, he touched his lips to hers, tightening his hold as if that would keep her from slipping away. “The ambulance is here. Just calm down. The doctor’s going to meet us at the hospital, and everything’s going to be fine, baby.”
Lifting her as gently as possible, he fought the urge to run outside, knowing that scaring her would only make things worse. As he’d expected, the ambulance attendants rushed toward him, along with Rafe Delgatto, one of the town deputies in Desire.
Rafe stopped abruptly, his eyes widening in horror when he saw the blanket wrapped around Kelly. Before he could say anything, Blade shook his head in a barely perceptible movement, glancing meaningfully to where Kelly rested her head against his shoulder with her eyes closed.
Rafe nodded, his expression softening when Kelly turned toward him. “I heard the call on the radio and rushed right over.” He touched Kelly’s arm, smiling when she lifted her head. “Hi, honey. Looks like you’re ready to have this baby. You feeling okay?”
Shaking, Kelly lifted her head and gave Rafe a tremulous smile. “I’m fine. My water broke, so I guess this is it.”
Rafe inclined his head, walking with them toward the waiting stretcher. “I think I’ll follow you in. There’ll be a lot of excitement in town when everyone finds out.”
Blade lowered his wife to the stretcher, smiling to hide his fear. “Let’s go have a baby.”
As the paramedics lifted her into the ambulance and began taking her vital signs, Blade turned his head, never taking his eyes from his beloved wife. “Rafe, can you give Jesse a call? Kelly’s gonna want her there.”
Rafe touched his shoulder, squeezing in support. “Of course. I’ll call Royce and King, too, and tell them what’s going on. She’s gonna be fine, Blade.”
“Yeah.” Blade stepped up into the ambulance, rushing to Kelly’s side, but he wasn’t fast enough.
Kelly saw the blood.
Her face lost what little color she’d had, her eyes wild with terror. “Oh my God! Blade!”
Her cry ripped at him, and with a curse, he covered her again.
Tuning out the conversation between the paramedics, Blade leaned over his wife, taking her face in his hands. “I love you, Kelly. Please calm down. I’m here. Everything will be fine.”
“Oh, Blade. It’s happening again.”
Blade bent low, brushing her lips with his. “Calm down. You know how to do that. Breathe for me. Just focus on me and breathe. You’re going to be fine.”
“Blade, I’m so sorry.”
Blade gripped her hand, his stomach knotted so tightly he couldn’t breathe. “Sorry for what, baby?”
“I wanted so much to give you the son you wanted.”
Bringing her hand to his lips, he forced a smile. “You’re going to give him to me now. You just relax and breathe. We’ll get to the hospital soon, and everything’s going to be fine.”
Gripping her chin, he purposely hardened his tone. “Have I ever lied to you, Kelly? Now, you do what I say and relax, or there’ll be hell to pay when I get you back home.”
To his relief, Kelly smiled. “You don’t scare me anymore, tough guy.” Her sob ripped through him. “I love you, Blade. If anything happens to me, I want you to know that you’re everything to me.”
“I love you, too, baby. You’re my entire world. I promise, everything will be fine.”
It had to be.
Holding her hand, he prayed like never before as they raced to the hospital, promising himself that no matter what happened, he’d never put her through this again.
Chapter Two
Kelly held on to Blade’s hand like a lifeline as he ran alongside the gurney into the hospital, his presence giving her strength.
She wanted to laugh when he glared at the nurse who tried to push him aside, but another pain hit her, and she forgot all about laughing.
She squeezed his hand through it, watching the ceiling tiles whiz by until it ended. Turning her head, she met Blade’s look of concern, her heart pounding faster when they turned and pushed her into a room. “It’s different this time, isn’t it? The pains are coming closer together, but I’m bleeding. Blade, please tell me everything’ll be all right. Promise me, and no matter what, don’t let go.”
Blade leaned close again, brushing a hand over her hair. “Of course everything’s going to be all right, and I have no intention of letting go. I’m here, honey. In a little while, we’re going to have a strong son who’s going to idolize his mother.” His beloved features gentled, but the horror in his eyes seemed to get worse. It was so unlike him to lose his composure that she found herself trying to calm him.
Forcing a smile, she brought his hand to her lips. “Or a daughter to torment her daddy. Oh!” Clenching her jaw, she squeezed his hand again and breathed through the pain, which seemed almost never ending.
Smiling, he brought her hand to his lips again, kissing her fingers. “That’s it, baby. Breathe. I swear, I won’t put you through this again. I love you, Kelly. You’re everything to me.” He pushed her damp
hair back from her forehead. “Easy, honey. I’ll be with you every minute. Just try to relax.”
The door opened again and there was a flurry of activity as everything seemed to happen at once.
Doctors and nurses asked all sorts of questions while changing Kelly into a gown. Monitors of every kind seemed to be everywhere.
Her doctor barked out orders like a general, while speaking to her in a low, soothing tone.
She barely felt the needle for the IV through the pain as another contraction hit her.
“Look at me.” Blade’s deep voice cut through the chaos surrounding her.
Responding to the steel in his tone, Kelly turned toward her husband, shocked at the change in him.
Blade appeared more like the man she’d married, the man who guided her, his strength absolute. “Focus on me. Breathe the way we practiced. In. Out. That’s good. Don’t pay attention to them. Pay attention to me.”
“She’s losing too much blood. The baby’s head is out. Come on, Kelly. Push.” The doctor’s voice held a hint of urgency that she remembered from the past, one that sent a surge of alarm through her.
Kelly started to turn toward the doctor, but Blade stopped her, cupping her jaw and turning her face toward his. “Look at me. Come on, baby. Push. You can do it. Come on, baby. Kelly?”
His face started to swim and fade. She tried to push, but couldn’t find the strength. “Blade?”
A nurse pushed on her stomach, but she didn’t even have the energy to tighten against it. She lay there—feeling—but not feeling.
“Kelly? Kelly?” Blade’s voice seemed to come from a great distance.
She tried to open her eyes, not even realizing when they’d closed. “Love you.”
“Kelly? Kelly! Something’s wrong with her. Do something, damn it!”
She’d never heard such fear in Blade’s voice before and tried to reach out to him, but couldn’t lift her arm.
She heard Blade screaming at the doctor, but even that started to fade.
And then she heard and felt nothing.
* * * *
Blade’s knees turned to rubber when he heard the baby cry, but the doctor’s next words almost took him to the floor.
Fury, fear, and desperation fueled his strength, the rage and horror building inside him erupting. He gripped the doctor by the collar, shaking so badly he almost lost his grip. “What do you mean, she’s in a coma? What the fuck did you do to her?”
Rafe pushed against him, placing himself between Blade and the doctor, the deputy’s eyes filled with sympathy. “Calm down, Blade. Let’s take this outside. You don’t want to upset Kelly.”
The doctor placed a hand on Blade’s shoulder, the tension in his expression scaring Blade all the way to his soul. “She lost a lot of blood. She needs to rest. We’re doing everything possible for her.”
Rafe gripped him by the upper arms and bodily forced him from the room. “Come on. Let’s get you calmed down. You’re not going to be any use to Kelly, and if she wakes up and sees you like this, she’s going to be frantic.”
Blade couldn’t see anything except Kelly.
Pale as the sheet, she appeared to be sleeping, but he knew better.
She had to wake up.
Furious that this could happen to someone as sweet as his wife, and terrified for her, and for himself, he picked up a chair and flung it to the far wall with a wail of grief that echoed off of the walls.
King, Royce, and Rafe surrounded him, pushing him into a chair. He didn’t want to sit, but his legs didn’t seem to be working.
Aware of King dropping into the seat next to him, Blade stared down at his hands, surprised to find that he couldn’t stop them from shaking. “She’s in a coma. I don’t know what I’m going to go if she doesn’t come out of it.” He fisted his hands, and flexed them again, surprised that they still shook as a kind of numbness settled around him.
“I can’t live without her. Nothing can happen to her. I can’t live without her. She’s everything to me.”
Royce knelt in front of him. “Nothing’s going to happen to her. Listen to me. You’ve got every right to fall apart out here. You’ve been through a lot. But, she needs you. The baby needs you. Your son.”
“My son.” Blade nodded, straightening. “I know. The way she looked at me—the trust in her eyes. She trusted me to make sure nothing went wrong. I let her down.”
King shot to his feet. “That’s bullshit! You never let her down, and she knows it. She knows you’re here for her, and she knows she can count on you. She’s going to be fine, Blade. You can’t let yourself think anything else. We’re here for you if you need it.”
Royce straightened and touched his shoulder. “Someone will be out here at all times. If you need anything, or just want to talk, we’ll be waiting. Can we get you anything?”
Blade lifted his head, looking from Royce to King to Rafe. “Just for Kelly to wake up. I’m going back in there.” Swallowing his fear, he took a deep breath and let it out slowly, “She needs me.”
He got to his feet and struggled to put one foot in front of the other, feeling as if he’d aged ten years in the last hour.
He pushed the door to her room open, his gaze going immediately to her slight form, looking small and helpless in the hospital bed.
A low light had been left on above the bed, and as he moved closer, he could see that she’d been dressed in a fresh hospital gown.
He didn’t know how long he stood at the foot of the bed, just staring at her before he felt a hand on his arm.
“Blade?”
He recognized Jesse’s whispered voice, but couldn’t look away from Kelly. “Look at her. Look what I did to her.”
Images flashed through his mind, tormenting him.
Her curvy body draped over his lap as he spanked her.
Clips on her sensitive nipples.
Bent over the padded table and tied in place as he fucked her ass.
Standing in his playroom and secured with leather straps while he used the whip on her delicate skin.
He’d been too rough with her.
He knew he’d given her pleasure, but that didn’t console him now.
Running his thumb over her soft fingers, he realized that he’d expected too much of her. He’d been so obsessed with her that he’d somehow missed the signs that the lifestyle he’d led her in to had been too much for her.
“No!” Jesse leaned against his shoulder, rubbing his back. “You didn’t do this to her.”
Blade drew a shuddering breath. “She had a boyfriend who used to beat her, and then she married me. A Dom. She’s too fucking delicate for the things I’ve done to her.”
Jesse squeezed his arm. “You’re talking nonsense. I know you’re upset about this, but none of it is your fault. You’ve been so good to her. So good for her. You wouldn’t hurt her. Everyone knows that for all your big talk, you baby her. Even before she got pregnant, you fussed over her, and as soon as she found out she was pregnant the first time, you’ve been doing your best to wrap her in cotton. You’ve both been through a lot, Blade. I understand why you feel the way you do now, but Kelly loves you, and she loves what you have together. Don’t ruin that.”
She hugged him to her. “I’m going to go get some coffee, and give you some time alone with her. I’ll bring some back for you.”
Blade nodded, unable to speak, the guilt overwhelming him.
The door closed behind her, leaving him alone with his wife.
He loved Kelly more than his own life, and looking at her lying pale and helpless in a hospital bed, he couldn’t imagine ever taking her to the playroom again.
She needed tenderness from him. Gentleness.
“Come on, baby. Wake up. Let me see those beautiful green eyes.”
Tears stung his eyes as he lifted her hand to his lips. “Please, baby. Please wake up for me. I’m so sorry. I promise, everything’s going to be different from now on. Just wake up. Everything’s going to be differ
ent. I promise.”
Vowing to himself that he’d never put her in this kind of danger again, and that he’d never again give her even the smallest amount of pain, Blade held her hand in his and bent over her, letting the tears flow.
Chapter Three
Voices penetrated the fog surrounding Kelly, but they faded into the distance again before she could focus enough to understand them.
The next time a voice penetrated, she recognized it immediately as Blade’s.
He sounded so worried—so frantic—as he begged her to open her eyes.
She tried to obey him, but her eyelids felt as if they’d been weighed down.
Every part of her felt as if she’d been weighed down.
She started sinking into the fog again, and no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t fight it.
Maybe if she rested awhile, she’d have the strength to open her eyes for Blade.
She drifted in and out of the fog, always aware of Blade’s presence. Sometimes she heard voices, and at other times she didn’t.
The voices came and went too far away for her to grasp.
Deep, masculine voices.
Softer, feminine voices.
All of them seemed to hold frustration, fear, and support, surrounding her in a warm sensation of safety that made it possible for her to rest again.
The voices came again—clearer this time.
The pull of them drew her out of the fog and closer to the surface.
Beloved voices.
Things seemed a little clearer this time, and she remembered those voices pulling her from the fog at short intervals.
She wanted to move, but was afraid that it would drain her energy and suck her back into the fog and the dark void beyond.
Blade. Jesse.
“Blade, you need to sleep.”
Why did Jesse sound so worried and so frustrated?
“I slept.”
Poor Blade.
He sounded exhausted.
“Why don’t you go out with the others for a couple of minutes? Walk around a bit. Eat something.”
