by Julie Caplin
Unlike our first kiss, spontaneous and of the moment, tonight there’d been a slow build up. Stolen glances. Unconscious gestures. Secret signals. Tension tightening and tightening. When the kiss finally came, it was like touch paper, setting light to a slow fuse that simmered and burned with gathering heat.
It was as if all the time we’d wasted since that night in London was unravelling right now. Warm and slow, thorough and gentle, a steady build up as we explored each other’s mouths. Where he led, I followed, like dance partners that had known each other for ever and were ready for every move.
And then when we’d established the easy, steady rhythm, his tongue touched mine, the kiss deepened and fireworks erupted. Toe curling. Sizzling. Sensation shot through me as his hold tightened on me, pulling me urgently towards him. The sounds receded to a pleasant background as I focused on the taste and touch of him, my heart racing. I wanted to hold onto this moment forever.
When at last, I pulled away to draw breath, I felt slightly drunk but it was pleasing to see that he looked equally glassy eyed. Still holding each other, I thought my system might just have been fried.
Bemused we stared at each other for a second.
‘Kate,’ he touched my face. ‘That night in London.’ The unspoken question burned in his eyes. I swallowed, my palms suddenly clammy, unable to say anything in case I’d got it wrong.
We stared at each other for a long moment. I didn’t dare break first.
With a gentle smile, he stroked the side of my neck, his finger tracing gently down to my collarbone as I stood perfectly still as if standing on a cliff edge.
‘That night …’ his sigh was heartfelt, wrung out of him as if he were about to dive off the highest diving board, uncertain as to how deep the below was. ‘That night …’ The grey blue eyes were intent, piercing me with sudden memory of the shimmering magic of that evening.
‘You were … you stuck in my head. I thought you were something special, unique and … I never … say stuff like this … I thought there was a connection.’ His teeth gnawed at his lip.
Without thinking I squeezed his hand acknowledging the sudden vulnerability, my heart racing at the words because I knew exactly what he meant. It had scared the pants off me which was why I’d run. He was far braver than I’d ever be, saying this out loud, laying himself bare.
‘You were on the same wavelength. And then when you turned out to be … you,’ chagrin stained his face, ‘it was crushing. I’d made a mistake. And you weren’t who I thought you might be that night. It made me react badly. I guess I wanted to punish you for shattering the illusion. I held onto that for as long as I could but I was wrong. Wrong about you.’
I winced, pressing my lips together, sadness and understanding rolling through me. Then with some amazing wisdom that sprang from who knew where, I said, ‘The great thing about mistakes is you can put them right.’
‘Tell me, the first time we met …’
I raised cautious eyes to his and something skittered between, like a ripple in the air. I wanted to ignore it. Pretend it wasn’t there but Ben had the tenacity of a Mountie, hell bent on getting his man or rather in this case his woman. Except I wasn’t his woman …
‘I can almost see you denying it. And I don’t have a romantic bone in my body. But tell me you didn’t feel it. You said you were scared.’
Shit. Adrenaline charged honesty was a very bad thing.
‘Scared of what?’ His soft voice had me tied up in knots, the words twisting like a snake.
I couldn’t tell him. I couldn’t. It would open me up to too much. And I was still scared. Scared that I might feel too much for him. That I didn’t have time to have feelings for anyone.
My career had to come first. I’d never questioned my role before. I had to stick at it. Having a proper job was important to me. I was the first in my family. Not like my mum. Not like my brothers. Not like Dad who hated his job and was stuck with it because he was the breadwinner.
And was Ben even looking for a relationship? Maybe he just wanted to take me up on the quick-fire heat that sizzled between us that night. After Josh, I doubted my ability to read men.
His eyes bored into me waiting for an answer.
‘I was scared because … I was worried it might mean too much.’ You might mean too much to me.
‘And now?’
I took a deep breath. ‘I’m still scared, but I’m not going to run this time.’
‘Maybe we take each day as it comes. Sometimes being scared is good. It makes you more careful.’
Across the park the screams of The Demon rent the air. He looked over towards the ride with a sudden smile, ‘And sometimes you’re supposed to be scared. The adrenaline rush. That’s why people let themselves feel. So why don’t we do that, enjoy today?’
‘OK,’ I said in a small voice, remembering the rush of the ride and him holding my hand the whole time. The kiss this time was slow and sure, sealing the deal. Promise and hope simmering in the soft touch of his lips against mine.
When we pulled back, I sucked in a hefty lungful of air, trying to regain my equilibrium and looking over his shoulder at the neon lit track snaking across the sky behind him, said, somewhat shakily, ‘That was a whole Demon ride worth of a kiss.’ And just as heart racing.
‘Is that a complaint or a compliment?’ he asked pulling me close again and kissing the corner of my mouth, nibbling and teasing at my lips, almost tickling.
I ducked my head back, to escape the teasing torment, which was stirring my pulse again.
‘If it was a complaint, I’m not sure I’d survive!’
His lips curved in a satisfied, thoroughly pleased with himself, alpha male smile. ‘We aim to please.’
My eyes twinkled at him. ‘Hmm, of course there’s always room for improvement.’
‘So, you are complaining?’ He pretended to look stern but the playful arms on hips made me laugh at him.
‘Let’s just say … perhaps it was a fluke.’
‘A fluke!’
Quick as a striking snake he put both hands on my waist and yanked me to him, not that I put up much of a fight.
I can safely say the second kiss quite satisfactorily proved that its predecessor most definitely wasn’t a fluke.
This fun, flirty interaction was a revelation. I felt an equal and that the attraction was totally mutual. Every other relationship I’d been in had seemed like I was the one waiting for permission to move forward or to take a particular step. This felt as if neither of us were in charge.
We wandered through the gardens, Ben’s arm around my shoulders, keeping me close to his side, pointing to the sights, watching braver souls than I, high above us whizzing out into the night on the Star Flyer ride. We talked about the others, wondering how Avril’s reunion with her husband had gone and whether she’d baked him a walnut and coffee cake, guessing when Conrad might move in with David and hoping that Sophie had enjoyed her Friday night date with James.
‘Bet none of them are having as good a time as we are,’ said Ben, his fingers squeezing the top of my shoulder.
I put my hand up and laced my fingers through his and squeezed back.
No words were needed.
‘This is lovely,’ I said looking around the bar. Duck and Cover wasn’t at all what I was expecting. The dimly lit room was full of people but quiet and calm with none of the frenetic activity of the London night scene. Everyone seemed very relaxed and casual, sharing the low leather sofas in shadowy groupings around candle dotted tables and discreet lamps created pools of light around the room. With the wood clad walls, flax rugs and retro furniture there was a definite 70s vibe. We could have been in someone’s lounge except we had our own personal, friendly and helpful waiters, patiently taking orders as if they had all the time in the world. People happily shared tables and it didn’t feel as if everyone was watching everyone else to see who was the coolest or had the best spot.
I leaned back into the leather back, sipping
a Sloe Gin Fizz. Like many of the places we’d been the cocktail menu was limited, which in itself was relaxing because there was none of the stress of choice.
‘I have to admit I’m not a cocktail bar kind of person. I prefer a pub but this is great,’ said Ben.
‘I think everything about Copenhagen is great. Do you think Lars could persuade Eva to come to London and set up a café there? There’s nothing like it. I’d love to be able to go to a place like that. And I’m going to miss her.’
‘She’s taken a bit of a shine to you,’ teased Ben.
‘Not just me!’ I protested, secretly pleased at his comment.
‘She was certainly very good at sussing out everyone.’
‘Except you, maybe,’ I said.
‘Not much to suss.’
I raised an eyebrow.
‘I’m sure she didn’t want to know about my domestic traumas.’
‘How is your sister?’
‘Still complaining.’
‘Are you close?’
He paused for a minute studying the picture over my head as if deciding how much to give away.
‘Family. We love them even when they drive us demented.’
‘Tell me about it.’ I exhaled sharply.
‘Do you see yours much?’
‘I try to get back at weekends as much as possible.’ I studied my drink. ‘I probably shouldn’t. My friend Connie says I should leave them to get on with it.’ I took a sip before reluctantly putting it down. ‘I guess I feel guilty.’
‘Guilty?’
‘Yeah. I’ve done so much better than them. My brothers are in dead end jobs. Brandon is so talented but I can’t see him ever changing his job and John, well he changes every five minutes but that’s because he’s a lazy sod and thinks he deserves more. And my dad, well his get and go, got up and went after my mum died.’
‘Let me guess, you go back and do everything for them.’
I winced. ‘Not everything. I guess … I am a bit … interfering, but if I didn’t the house would be even more of a pit and … Dad, well he relies on me to make sure the mortgage gets paid. And it’s the least I can do; I do earn more than them all.’
‘Not that much more surely.’
‘Let’s say earning more, would lighten the load. Me and my flatmate would like to upgrade but I can’t see that happening for a while. God knows what Josh will report back about the trip. This was supposed to be my audition piece for promotion.’
‘Perhaps if you said to your dad you couldn’t help, if he had to, he might pull up his socks. Retrieve his get up and go. Instead of relying on you. Maybe you’re letting him get away with it.’
His direct hit made me wriggle in my seat a little. ‘Why are you letting your sister stay at yours?’ I retaliated.
‘Touché.’ Ben let out a half-laugh. ‘Because she’s family. But maybe I should get tougher. It might make her sort things out with her husband once and for all, instead of leaving him the minute things get difficult. This is the third time she’s left him.’
I tipped my head on one side. ‘But you can’t say no.’
‘No. Dad did the classic run off with his secretary, although to be fair, he’s still with her and she’s great. I have a couple of step-brothers who are nice kids. She’s very level headed. No dramas. Probably why Dad went off with her. They’re very happy and I can’t imagine him and Mum together now. She can be a bit of a nightmare. Her and Amy thrive on drama.’
‘So, you’re more like your dad?’
‘Yeah, we get on well. Not that I let on to Mum and Amy. He’s a bit he-who-must-not-be-mentioned.’
‘Must be tricky.’
‘Luckily Dad gets it. So, there’s no tugging. None of that you spent Christmas with your mother last year crap. He’s a good bloke.’
‘Like his son,’ I said softly.
Ben shrugged but a shy smile danced around his lips, which made me move my leg to rest against him.
He took my hand and laced his fingers through mine, where they rested on both our legs. ‘Families eh? Fancy another drink?’
Chapter 25
Sleep proved elusive, my mind was far too busy reliving the delicious details of the day. Laughing in the kitchen at Varme. Kissing at Tivoli. Talking over several cocktails. The rather woozy walk back to the hotel. Ben holding my hand. The reluctant goodnight kiss outside the lift on my floor. Turning back to look down the corridor to see him watching me walk back to my room.
Me turning down his offer to walk me to the door because we both knew where that might end. One final clinging kiss as if to store it up to see us through the night.
I turned over again and plumped up the pillow.
On the bedside table, my phone beeped and the light of a message flashed like a lighthouse in the dark.
Thanks for a lovely evening. See you in the morning x
I touched the screen, a stupid dopy grin on my face.
For a brief regretful second I imagined his warm body next to mine, being wrapped in his arms and the delicious sensation of skin on skin. I pushed the sheets down as I suddenly felt overheated. It would have been easy to give into the spiralling longing and the latent lust that received one hell of a kick-start every time he kissed me. I turned and lay on my back, one hand behind my head. I’d done the right thing. There was something special about the build-up and anticipation at the start of something, the waiting, almost teasing and the unspoken promise of what might be. Courtship, I guessed you might call it. I smiled in the dark and turned over again, snuggled into the bed. Who knew what tomorrow would bring? And after that?
I think I still had a silly smile on my face when I woke up and my first thought was of Ben.
There was another text from him.
Morning. Breakfast at 8.30? x
It was already quarter to eight, but I was itching to get up and get moving, which was most unusual for a Saturday morning.
‘I hope I can still do this,’ I said hauling the bicycle out of the rack in front of the hotel. I was particularly pleased by the sight of the super plump leather saddles on the hire bikes, because it had been a while.
‘Don’t worry it’s like riding a bike,’ quipped Ben, as he slung one leg over and then hopped about trying to jump into the saddle.
‘Ha. Ha. Very funny,’ I said watching him make a slow, ungainly circle to face the right direction.
We set off, both a little wobbly to start with, but the wide cycle paths gave me confidence and in a matter of minutes I sat up straighter instead of clutching the handle bars for grim death and started to enjoy myself. We’d decided to ride out to the castle but thought we’d pop in to see Eva, check if she was OK and say our goodbyes. I’d texted her the previous evening and she’d reported back that the doctor had said it was a bad sprain.
We cycled along the full length of Støget where everyone had inbuilt bicycle awareness fields and seemed to move out of the way in plenty of time, which was just as well as I wasn’t sure my rubbish co-ordination could cope with sudden braking, it was taking all my effort to stay upright and steer.
Despite the well-padded seats which looked like cheeky buttocks themselves, I felt every cobble as we bumped our way along the side street to Varme. With more than a touch of relief I hopped off outside following Ben to one of the many cycle bays that were conveniently placed around the city. This really was a place where the bicycle had equal billing with pedestrians and cars.
‘God morgen,’ said Eva, half hopping up from her position on a chair with her ankle, all strapped up, resting on a chair. ‘Lovely to see you both.’ A naughty twinkle danced in her eyes. I glanced back at Ben with a smile. Of course Eva had spotted that things between us had changed.
‘Stay there,’ I said walking quickly to her side and bending down to kiss her cheek in greeting.
‘How are you today?’
She winced and waggled her foot a little. ‘Feeling old and stupid,’ she said grumpily which was so not her.
�
��Oh dear. Are you in a lot of pain?’
‘No, but my pride is very badly damaged. I’m so cross with myself for not waiting for help and thinking I could manage with the ladder on my own.’
‘What were you doing?’
‘Rearranging the top shelves in the kitchen.’
Her brief frown was quickly replaced with a resigned self-deprecating smile. ‘At least I timed it well. Luckily, Agneta works on Saturdays and she was able to bring a friend with her to help.’ Through the serving counter I could see two teenage girls bustling about in the kitchen.
‘Good, because I’m not sure my feet would survive another tour of kitchen duty,’ said Ben with feeling. ‘We’ve had to resort to bikes today.’
‘Ben, that’s not true!’ I nudged him in the ribs.
Eva laughed. ‘You poor old soul.’
‘He’s fibbing,’ I said. ‘We thought we could go a little further afield as it’s our last day.’
‘That’s a good idea. What time is your flight?’
‘Not until this afternoon. We’ve left our cases in the left luggage room at the hotel and we’ll go back and get them later. It won’t take us long to get to the airport.’
‘Excellent. So have you time for coffee?’
I gave Ben a quick hopeful glance and he smiled back as he slipped into the chair opposite Eva. ‘We’ve got plenty of time.’
‘Do you want me to make coffee?’ I asked.
‘No, no.’ Eva called our order over to Agneta, who brought the coffees over in record time. She was much better on the coffee machine than I was.
‘So what are your plans for the day?’ asked Eva.
‘We’re going to Rosenberg Castle, like you suggested.’
‘Oh perfect. The grounds are beautiful. You should go to the Radhuspladsen on your way. City Hall. It’s a beautiful building and the world clock is incredible. A work of art. It’s free and on your way. It’s very romantic. You really should go.’ The knowing glint was back in Eva’s eye.
‘OK,’ I said looking at Ben to secure his agreement.
He lifted his shoulders, in a why not gesture. ‘We’ve skirted around it several times. Might as well pop in.’
