Afterward, she dressed in black pajama pants and a shirt and curled under the blankets. Leaving the lamp on, she waited for Peter, but slowly drifted in and out of consciousness. Eventually, she rested her head on the pillow, giving into the sleep.
“Ava,” she heard a whisper. “Ava.”
She woke up and saw Peter. “Hey.” She smiled.
“Hey.”
She reached up and kissed him, but he ended it before she wanted to. He kicked off his shoes and lay down next to her. Yawning, he rubbed his eyes.
She felt something odd from him. Like he was ashamed? Sad? Was he starting to feel sorry again? “What’s wrong?” Ava asked.
He shook his head.
“What is it?”
“I’m just tired. It was a long night.” But she could tell that wasn’t the truth.
“What did you do?”
“I practiced with Gustav and Aaron.”
“How did you do?” She laid her head on his chest.
“I’m fine once I know something is going to hurt someone, but when it comes out of nowhere or when something breaks my concentration, I lose. I can’t figure it out,” he said, frustration in his weary voice.
“I had the same problem. It’s hard. I broke my concentration during the battle. And you killed that witch that was coming for me.”
“It’s just when I’m with you, I’m stronger. When you were around Xavier all those times, I was just so scared he’d hurt you, and nothing happened to you. You felt no pain. It’s just harder with more people.”
“Is that why you want to spend more time with them? To get to know them better?”
“Maybe. Katarina was helping me tonight. She says she has to turn her feelings off and it becomes a job to her, to protect. But it’s hard to just turn it off.”
“It is, but it can be accomplished. Gabriel is good at it. When I practice, I set myself apart. Stay focused on the main goal and everything will fall into place.”
“I wish you would come. I mean, in the ten minutes I’ve been here, I already feel better.” He kissed her forehead. “I’m so afraid of messing up again. Of letting them kill more of us. Seth didn’t deserve that. What if I mess up so much that Havok takes you?” His brown eyes watered.
“You can’t think like that. Havok will never take me.”
He pulled her close and pressed his lips against hers. The surge of electricity awakened her heart. It thrummed like a drumbeat against her chest. She kissed him harder, holding him tightly. But no matter how tight she held him, something felt different.
Over the following weeks, Ava and Peter fell into a routine. School every day, then the waterfall. Afterward, they’d go back to her house, have dinner with her dad, or go to Peter’s house. Then, Peter would go to the Manor every other night and return to Ava by the end of the night. They always pretended Peter slept on the couch, and she knew if her dad ever asked, he’d catch them in the lie.
Not that they were doing anything in her room. They would kiss, but Ava couldn’t figure out why Peter was acting so weird lately. It wasn’t the stress of showing their love. Or the grief. He’d been distant, but it was getting worse. Maybe he resented her a little for not going to the Manor. He asked her daily to go, but her answer was always the same.
Ava didn’t want to go anywhere, especially to the Manor. She didn’t feel like doing much else either. She only turned on the TV for Peter’s sake, while she’d curl up next to him on the nights he decided not to go to the Manor.
On a freezing cold day, they were at the waterfall and as Peter eased Ava into the water, she pulled her hand away from him. He reached for her.
“No, I want to see if I can do this.”
“Ava,” he begged.
She closed her eyes as the cold spread through her quickly. Her teeth chattered and her body involuntarily shook. She could do this. Get warm. Get warm. She told herself over and over. But the cold was overbearing, like tiny shards piercing her skin.
“Ava, take my hand.”
“No.”
“For crissakes, your lips are blue,” he shouted and she opened her eyes. He snatched her hand and the warmth swelled inside her. Peter drew her into an embrace and she relaxed her head against his warm sweater. Fatigue took over.
“It’s not working.” Her voice was just above a whisper.
“We’ll keep trying.”
Ava swallowed back her tears. “We’ve been trying for weeks now. It’s useless.”
“Don’t give up.”
“There’s no point, Peter. Nothing has happened.” She climbed out of the water, grabbed a towel, and wrapped herself in it.
Peter followed and sat next to her on a rock that overlooked the pool. “Didn’t you say it took Gabriel over a month for his to return the first time this happened?”
“What is everyone doing at the Manor if none of their powers are working?”
“Watching the Elders show us things. Learning to fight. Everyone asks about you.”
Ava laughed, and Peter gave her a cautious look. “So, we’re just going to learn how to fight like we’re Ephemerals and fight against Havok? Has everyone lost their mind? Did they forget how powerful he is?”
“It helps keep our minds off—.”
“Minds off what?” She spat. “He took our powers away. He took our friends. He killed others. Nothing will keep our minds off that.”
“And I’m there learning as much as I possibly can so that it doesn’t happen again. I wish you’d come with me.”
“I can’t.”
Sighing, he rolled his eyes. He drove her home in silence. Ava hated arguing with Peter, but she couldn’t bring herself to go back. Not yet. Not when she didn’t have a purpose.
Before she got out of the car, she leaned over and kissed his cheek. His eyes trained on whatever was outside the windshield. Something weighed on him.
“What’s wrong?” She touched his hand.
Peter’s eyes snapped to hers. “Nothing. I’ll see you later.” He pulled out his phone, forcing her to remove her hand from his. He started typing something.
She watched him for a second, wondering who he was texting. Feeling shut out, she reluctantly got out of the car. “Will you come over tonight?” she asked.
“Maybe.” He didn’t look up from his phone.
“Okay.” She clenched her teeth and shut the door. What was up with him? She ambled toward the stairs to her apartment, but stopped and watched him drive away. She couldn’t figure him out.
Ava barely ate dinner. Her nerves wouldn’t allow it. She fell asleep waiting for Peter.
The nightmare began in darkness. She could see her breath, white against the black night. She was searching. But she could never find Melissa and Jeremy. Savina knew where they were, but wouldn’t tell her. She ran but always stopped once she saw Havok’s menacing face - pale like the moonlight. Eyes, black as the night, and evil. His thin lips curled into an ominous grin, and soon a deep laughter echoed in the night.
Ava bolted upright in her bed and grasped her necklace. It warmed against her skin. Her shirt was sticky from sweat. She felt the blankets next to her and didn’t feel Peter. Complete darkness surrounded her as she fumbled to find her cell phone. She pushed a button and its bright light almost blinded her. It was after midnight and there was a text message from Peter.
I’m sorry I won’t be there tonight. I’m exhausted after practicing, but I’ll see you tomorrow. I love you.
Ava sank back into the bed, dejected.
CHAPTER SIX
DISINTEGRATION
The sun’s brightness almost blinded Ava as she drove to school by herself. The car’s heater was on full blast but it wasn’t warm enough. Gripping the steering wheel, she tried not to let Peter’s aloofness bother her.
Ava slammed on her brakes and stopped just in time. She was inches from the car in front of her. They took forever moving forward and Ava laid on the horn. She took a deep breath.
When she arrived, she was
surprised to see Thomas waiting for her. He hadn’t waited for her in over a year. Today wasn’t a good day.
“Hey,” he greeted. The sun touched his pale blue eyes.
“Hi.” She couldn’t hide the irritation in her voice as she moved passed him and entered through the double doors.
“Are you okay?”
“Fine. Why?”
“Well, last night you were sad.”
“Yeah, I was.” She reached her locker, and spun the combination.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“Nope.”
“Why don’t you come to the Manor?”
“Because I don’t want to.” What was everyone’s obsession with that? Ava lifted the lock, but it didn’t open. She tried the combination again with no luck.
“Why?”
She didn’t answer. She tried the locker again, but it didn’t open. Clenching her teeth, she punched it.
Thomas grabbed her arm, forcing her to look at him. “Ava, calm down.”
“Leave me alone.”
“You aren’t the only one who lost them. Stop acting like this.”
She retracted her arm and attempted the combination. “Don’t tell me how to act. I’m sorry that it’s not the way you want me to.”
“I’m sorry. I’m just trying to help.” Thomas sighed and walked away.
Finally, it opened.
“Ava!” She heard Peter shout from behind. The bell rang as he placed his hand on her shoulder. She turned. “Why did you leave? I was coming to pick you up.”
“Oh, sorry. I thought I’d start taking myself.” She faked a smile.
His eyebrows furrowed. “Why?”
She lifted a shoulder. “I don’t know.”
“Are you mad at me?”
“No,” she lied.
“I still want to ride together.”
“Okay.”
“I’ll see you at lunch.” He kissed her forehead and then made his way down the hall, disappearing around the corner.
The whole interaction felt forced. At least he still liked hanging out with her. She went to English and wondered where everyone was. There were about fifteen students total. Guess flu season was among them.
Class was the same as usual, except they prepped for final exams before the holiday break. Ava would probably fail since she hadn’t picked up a book since the beginning of the school year. She didn’t care. Graduating, school, none of it mattered anymore. The morning dragged on and then it was lunch time.
Peter waited for her after the class. “How are you?” he asked.
“Fine.”
“I’m sorry about last night.”
She waved her hand. “Don’t worry. You lost track of time.”
“I know you’re pissed off, Ava. The necklace doesn’t have to tell me.”
“I’m fine. It’s been a rough day.”
“What happened?”
“It’s not that important.”
“Want to go to the waterfall today?”
She shook her head. “No. I don’t want to go anymore. Why don’t we go see a movie or something?”
“That didn’t go well the last time.”
“What about hiking?”
“It’s too cold for you.”
“Okay. Then come over and we can watch a movie.”
He bit his lip and he hesitated.
“What is it?”
“I thought about going to the Manor again.”
“Okay. Were you going to come to the waterfall with me?”
“Yes. But you don’t want to go. I’ll just go practice earlier and then come over. How about that?”
It was hard to hide her frustration, but she managed. “Oh, okay. Have fun.”
She couldn’t understand the sudden awkwardness between them. The rest of the day came and went, and Ava couldn’t wait to get home and pass out. She was tired and upset.
Just as she dropped her backpack in her room, someone knocked on the door. She crossed back through the living room and opened it.
Peter stood on the other side.
“Hey,” she said. “I thought you were going to the Manor.” She moved aside so he could enter and then she shut the door. She kissed him but he was cautious for some reason.
He led her to her room and closed the door behind him.
“What’s wrong?” she asked.
“Ava.” He took her hands in his and sat on the bed, with her standing in front of him.
“What?”
“Why don’t you come with me?” She saw the pleading in his brown eyes.
She let out an exasperated sigh and pulled her hands from his grasp. “Peter, stop asking me. It’s getting really annoying.”
“We could go see how everyone is doing?”
“No.”
“But I want you there with me.”
“I don’t want to go,” she said, enunciating each word.
“Ava, you can’t hide from it.”
“I’m not hiding.”
“Yes, you are. You’ll eventually have to go back and face everyone. They aren’t going to judge you or hate you.”
“I’ll go back when I’m ready. Why do you keep asking me? Are you tired of being here?”
“Of course not.” His eyes softened, then he dropped his gaze.
“Then why do you want me to go so much when you know my reasons? Why are you there so much?”
“Because, the more time I get, the more time I can prepare. I can’t let what happened in that field happen again.”
“It wasn’t your fault.” She raised her voice. “All I feel from you is this heavy guilt. If anything, it was all our faults. We weren’t prepared enough. And I stupidly caused Havok to exist now.”
“But that’s why we should go to the Manor. To practice.”
“I can’t summon water. I can’t breathe underwater. I can’t even make myself warm. I have no reason to be there.” She crossed her arms in front of her.
“But being around everyone could help ease the stress—to help you heal faster. I think you should go.”
Ava shook her head defiantly.
“Why are you so stubborn?” He stood, exasperated. “I know you’re in a lot of pain. But come on—let’s get out of here. Try different scenery. You can’t be holed up here forever.”
“I tried getting you to go somewhere with me, but you didn’t want to. You’re so fixated on training. How am I supposed to train when I have no powers?”
He sighed. “I don’t get why you are so afraid. I mean, you don’t even want to go back to the waterfall anymore. You can’t give up.”
“You should go. I don’t want to sit around there and watch.”
“Ava—.”
“Go.”
“You can’t always be like this. You have to try. Melissa, Jeremy, and everyone else aren’t going to come back until we go get them.”
“What do you want me to do? It’s useless.”
“It’s not useless. I felt you last night. You need to get this out. And being with everyone who is going through the same can help. It can make you stronger. Maybe you should talk to Savina. I don’t think you’re getting any better.”
“Of course I’m not,” she yelled. “My friends are gone. I killed Colden. And you don’t know that pain because you didn’t know them that well.” She regretted her words as soon as they fled her mouth.
He was hurt and astounded, but she was too stubborn to apologize or even see his side.
“My best friend died, Ava. You think I don’t know that pain?” He shook his head. “Why do you have to be so difficult?” He looked at her with disappointment. “Why can’t you be a little bit understanding?”
“Why can’t you understand?”
He dragged his hands down his face. “Forget it.” He opened the door and left the room. The farther he walked away, the emptier she felt. She heard the front door open and slam shut. Had he really walked out on her? Was she going to let him? Why couldn’t he understand it was
too unbearable to be in that devastating place? To be around everyone who was just as depressed and dejected as she was.
Ava wished she hadn’t lashed out at Peter. She couldn’t believe she had said that, but it just came out. She tried so hard to keep her feelings in check for his sake. She didn’t want to make his guilt worse. It was hard keeping it all inside. Couldn’t Peter understand that the second she walked through the doors of that mansion, she would break down? That was the last place she was with them.
Her phone buzzed and she pulled it out of her back pocket, hoping it was Peter, but it was Gabriel.
Wanna catch a movie?
His words made her want to breakdown, but she held the tears back. She typed a response.
No thanks. I’m going to lay down.
Okay. Remember I’m here if you need to talk.
For a second, she wanted to call Gabriel and listen to his comforting voice. But he wouldn’t want to hear about the stupid fight and all of the drama.
Ava jerked awake at the sound of the front door closing. Her father was home and she heard him shuffle to his room. A few minutes later he turned on the TV.
He tapped on her door and then opened it. He sighed once he saw her in bed. “Ava, why are you always in bed? Where’s Peter?”
“The Manor,” she groaned.
“Why didn’t you go with him?”
She didn’t answer.
There was a knock on the door, and her father left to answer it.
“Good evening, Connor,” she heard Savina greet him.
Ava sat up in bed and listened.
“Hello, Savina. How are you?”
“I am well. I came to see if I could speak with Ava for a moment.”
“Please do. She’s…not coping well at all. Peter’s been trying. And I’ve tried, but she won’t listen to us.”
“I will talk with her.”
Seconds later, there was a tap on her door and Savina pushed it open. Her long auburn hair had been pulled back and her black skirt came to her shoes. Her matching turtleneck made it look like she was wearing a dress.
Under the Winter Sun (Elemental Enchanters Series Book 3) Page 6
