“Thank you.”
“For what?”
“Saving my life.”
“You’re welcome. You’ve saved mine a few times.”
“Only because I got you into trouble.”
“Not always.”
They walked in a comfortable silence for a few moments and then Ava saw Peter and Katarina holding hands. She really needed to get over it.
“Does it bother you that I talk to you about all this?”
“No.”
“Have you ever been in love?”
He wavered. “I’ve had girlfriends before.” For some reason, a surge of jealousy hit her. “But they weren’t satisfying.”
“Like they weren’t your type?”
“You could say that. I never felt strongly about them.”
“Have you ever been with an Ephemeral?”
“No.”
“Well, whatever you do, don’t. They’ll break you in half.”
Gabriel sighed. “So will Enchanters.”
“So the lesson learned: never get too close to people. Never let them in.”
He nodded once, but something flashed in his eyes.
They walked for several more miles without talking, but this time it was uncomfortable, almost as if Ava had said something wrong.
When night fell, they stopped at a place that had small cabins spread out in a circle. It was definitely not like the first place they stayed, but Ava never felt right staying in such an extravagant place. At least they still hadn’t needed to use their tents. Each cabin held six single sized beds all against the walls. There was a bathroom site a few feet away from the cabins. It was like they were at some summer camp, except the atmosphere was anything but cheerful. It wasn’t hidden like the first place, and since they had entered the Shadow Kingdom, she assumed that nothing but Enchanters and saberwolves and whatever other species roamed the woods. Savina placed a protection charm over the campsite.
“I’ll see you at dinner,” Gabriel said with a hint of aggravation in his voice. He seemed upset, but Ava couldn’t tell what it was. She nodded her head and opened her mouth to say something but he walked away. She hoped he wasn’t mad at her.
She opened the squeaky door to one of the buildings and set her backpack on the wooden floor.
“I can’t believe this,” Gillian said as she walked in. “How did we go from five stars to negative stars?”
“It’s a place to sleep,” Ava pointed out.
The door squeaked and Thomas, Lance, Link, and Nicole entered. It slammed shut and bounced against the frame a couple of times.
That’s going to get annoying, Ava thought.
“It’s like football camp,” Thomas chuckled.
“Except I think this is better,” Lance said. “Aaron said it was going to be really cold tonight.”
“It’s been cold every night,” Ava said.
“You’re right.”
It hadn’t rained since they left the tunnel, but the ground was still soft with several puddles. The woods were serene, much too cold for anything to be active, except the wind which howled at them.
After they ate a deer that Aidan and Ronan had caught, Ava wrapped her arms around her legs as she stared at the raging fire before her. Through the orange glow, she could see Katarina nuzzling with Peter. He kissed the top of her head like he used to with Ava. He rubbed her arms, like he had with Ava. She squeezed her eyes shut, but the image was clearer. She opened her eyes to a blurry fire and wiped away the oncoming tears. Peter was staring at her. She looked away.
Moira sat next to her with an awkward smile. “Hi.”
“Hey.”
“I don’t know how to ask this, so I’m just gonna come out with it.”
“Okay.” Ava braced herself.
“I think I like Thomas…a lot. I thought I could, well, I know you dated him.”
“I really don’t think I’m the right person to talk to about that.”
She frowned. “I understand. Was it bad? May I ask?”
Ava relented. “Thomas is a lot different than he used to be. With everything that happened, it changed him. He wasn’t always aggressive. The way he is now, is how he used to be. Except he’s more mature now. I fell out of love and then it got bad. I found myself falling for.” The words caught in Ava’s throat.
“It’s okay.”
Ava appreciated the break. “I broke Thomas’s heart and I probably went about it the wrong way.”
“He told me about his burning you.”
Ava was shocked. “He did?” The image flickered in her mind of Thomas burning her arms in a jealous rage because she had been with Peter. It was the first night she and Peter kissed. She swallowed the oncoming tears.
Moira nodded. “He still feels terrible about that. He told me he’ll never forgive himself.”
“Yeah, he told me that, too.”
“He still cares about you quite a bit and said it took a lot for him to finally come to terms with you and Peter.”
Ava looked at her. “I think he understands now. He is very protective, which may not be a bad thing at a time like this. We weren’t right for each other. He was the only boyfriend I ever had, until Peter. You know, Thomas and Gillian were the only two who didn’t want me with Peter? Should’ve had you around to warn me of that mistake.”
Moira apologetically smiled. “Mistakes make us who we are. They allow us to learn about ourselves and become stronger. It does get better, I promise.”
“That’s what everyone says.”
Moira tapped the side of her head. “You won’t pine for him forever.”
Ava frowned. “So we’re completely done? No more?” She didn’t know why it mattered. He moved on and so should she.
“Oh, shoot.” She covered her mouth. “Don’t listen to me. You know, I just get glimpses sometimes of others’ futures. It slipped. Please don’t read too much into what I say.” She bit her lip. “They’re snippets. Half the time they aren’t even true.”
“Don’t worry. I don’t see how he could love me so intensely and then fall in love so easily with someone else.” A renegade tear rolled down her cheek, but she wiped it away quickly. “Sorry. You came to talk about you and Thomas, not listen to me babble about Peter. I think you two would be great together. Really.”
“Don’t apologize. I really like you, Ava. I admire you. You remind me of Joss. So strong.”
Ava smiled. She liked being compared to Joss. “Thank you. I like you, too.”
“I’ve heard so much about you all, and I’m so glad we met. I wish I could know Melissa and Jeremy. Tell me about them.”
“Well, Melissa…Mel can be very brash. She’s not afraid to speak her mind. She was the first one who supported me and Peter. She didn’t want to believe it, but she saw. She’s so caring, and will stand up to anyone. Jeremy has a kind soul. He’s extremely smart and could always see through me, even before we got our necklaces. It’s like he can read me so well. He’s so powerful, and we’d always get into deep conversations about books.”
“Sounds like Gabriel in a way.”
Ava nodded. She needed to talk to him, but wondered if he was still upset with her. He avoided her at dinner, and, as she scanned the campsite she didn’t see him.
“He’s reading.”
“What?”
“You’re looking for Gabe, right?”
Warmth filled Ava’s cheeks. “No.”
“Oh.”
“So, do you live with Shannon and Sean?”
“Yeah. They’re my aunt and uncle, but I consider them my parents. Mom went to the dark side and left me. Sounds cheesy, but that’s what happened. She decided that the Cimmerians were right. She tried to take me with her, but Dad intervened. Then she killed him and fled before Sean or Shannon could get to her.”
“Oh Moira, that’s awful.”
“Thanks. I don’t remember any of it. I was a baby. But it’s hard not knowing my dad.”
Ava shook her head. “There are
so many of us like that. We have to end them.” The more she thought about the Cimmerians, the angrier she got.
Moira lay a hand on Ava’s. “Whoa, calm down.”
She looked down to see her hands watering. “Sorry.”
“We’ll take them down.”
“Can you see?”
She frowned. “No. I wish, though. I don’t see the future like it’s scenes laid out for me. It’s more like glimpses of events. But my mind gets boggled sometimes. I’m getting better at predicting things though. Takes time.”
“Do you ever get annoyed when something happens the way you imagined? I mean, leaves no surprise.”
She shrugged, her thick dark hair fell around her shoulders. “Sometimes. But like I said, the precognition isn’t always right.”
“Do you ever see something and then try to fix it?”
“Sometimes, but it never works. I try not to mess with it because I think things happen for a reason. Even all the crappy things.”
Ava had a hard time believing that. That would mean her breakup with Peter happened for a reason. Her mother sold her soul to Havok for a reason. Havok orchestrated genocide on thousands of Ephemerals. But Ava couldn’t come up with a single good purpose for any of those things.
“Hey,” Thomas said, taking a seat next to Moira. “What are you two chatting about?”
“Just stuff.” An embarrassed smile flickered across her face.
“Oh yeah?”
Ava didn’t want to witness their flirting or see Peter and Katarina snuggling any more. She got to her feet. “I’ll see you two in the morning. Sleep well,” she said, retreating to her cabin. She wanted to talk to Gabriel, but didn’t want to disturb him. The weirdest feeling overcame her, once she sank onto her bed. She missed him and hoped she hadn’t ruined their friendship. She didn’t want to go to sleep knowing he was upset with her. Relenting, she lay down and pulled her knees up to her chest.
Like the night before, sleep evaded her. She felt so heavy. So cold. Like her heart was wrapped in ice. Seeing Peter daily wasn’t helping her move on. And why did he suddenly want to talk to her? What more could he possibly have to say? She couldn’t believe how hurt she still felt or why she wasted so much time thinking about him and wishing things had been different.
After tossing and turning for a while, Ava crept out of the cabin, careful not to let the door slam. She sat by the dying embers from the fire. It was so dark and cold, but she made herself warm. Blindly searching for a stick, she found one and began poking the embers. With each jab, they glowed a brighter orange. The stick caught heat and lit. She brought it close to her face and blew on it, watching it grow.
“Do you ever sleep?” Gabriel asked from behind her. Her heart rate picked up at the sound of his voice.
She twisted to face him. “Sorry, did I wake you?”
“No,” Gabriel said. “And yes.”
“Okay?”
He sat next to her. “Not directly. I was thinking about you.”
“What about me?”
“I know you’re still struggling.”
She bit her lip. “I don’t want to. I thought I was doing well for a little while. I want to be over him. It doesn’t help that I see him constantly.” She poked the fire harder.
Gabriel took her empty hand in his and squeezed it. She dropped the stick in the fire.
“Did I make you mad earlier today?”
He hesitated. “Sometimes your pessimism is a bit much. But I know it’s just the hurt and anger talking.” He stared at their hands.
She felt bad. “I’m sorry. I really didn’t mean to upset you. I can get pretty bitter when I’m wounded. I’ll work on that.”
He gave a soft laugh. “You don’t have to change on my account.”
She smiled. Gabriel was unbelievably patient with her. She was glad to have him since Melissa wasn’t there. “It’s funny how things change,” Ava said after a few minutes.
“What’s that?”
“I guess I always felt closer to Gillian growing up. She was always nice and so proper. I never liked how Melissa just spelled it out for you. But I miss that. I miss her brutal honesty. Plus, she was always there when I needed her. She always trusted me. Talking to Gillian about all this doesn’t help.”
“What about Lance?”
“I talk to him and he’s been a saint, but I don’t want to keep bothering him with it. Guys don’t wanna hear that stuff.”
“You’ve been talking to me.” He pointed out.
“Because you’re comforting. And you don’t judge. I’m sure everyone’s tired of the Peter/Ava saga by now. I’m trying hard to move on.”
“What do you think Melissa would say to you if she were here now?”
“Knowing her, she’d probably tell me to stop all this nonsense and get over it. But then she’d hug me. I should be over this by now. I’m being ridiculous aren’t I?”
“No. Give yourself a break. It’s only been a few weeks. You’re suffering heartache from someone you did very brave things for and loved. It seemed like he wanted a part of all this for the wrong reasons.”
Ava shook her head. “No. He loved me. I know it.”
“I’m not saying he didn’t.”
“I still do.”
Ava and Gabriel snapped their heads around and found a forlorn Peter. His eyes sagged like his collar length brown hair. She and Gabriel got to their feet.
He released Ava’s hand. “I’ll leave you two alone.” He walked away before Ava could stop him. She didn’t want him to leave.
“Ava, I never meant to hurt you,” Peter said. “I can’t explain it. I still love you, but there’s something about Katarina. I don’t know what happened. I’ll never forgive myself and I don’t expect you to either.”
Her eyes blurred, and she couldn’t stop the rogue wave of emotions. “I can’t pretend it doesn’t hurt, or that I’m not incredibly angry. After all I did for you.”
“I know. I treated you wrong. I’m sorry,” he said, moving toward her.
She stepped back and shook her head. “It’s too late. This is ridiculous. I need to find Melissa and Jeremy. Not sit here crying over you.”
His face fell and his eyes showed hurt. She didn’t want to feel sorry for him, but she did. Part of her wanted to apologize to him for whatever she did, but the other part wanted to be angry.
“You’re right. I’m sorry I’ve put you through this. It wasn’t easy for me. I wanted to be there for you so much, but you shut me out. It was like I didn’t know you anymore. It got hard.”
“Relationships are hard, Peter. Besides, you didn’t seem to care enough to work through it.” She crossed her arms in front of her chest.
“How can you say that?”
“Because it’s true.”
“Katarina understood me and what I was going through. You just locked yourself up.”
Tears pricked her eyes as her lids seemed to weigh a hundred pounds. “I buried my feelings for you.” Her stomach wrenched itself in knots, and she felt the bile churning. Her heart pounded. She hated that he made her feel this way. “I felt your guilt, and I didn’t want to be responsible for you feeling that. I never shut you out, Peter. I was holding onto you with everything I had, but you stopped letting me in. You broke my heart. I gave it all to you and you took advantage of it.”
“I’m so sorry, Ava.”
“It hurts so much to see you with her. So much that right now, I can’t be happy for you. I don’t know how long it will take to forgive you. I mean, how do you immediately go from telling one person you love them with all your heart and always will and then jump into another relationship and tell her the same thing?” She hated that her voice shook. “I don’t want to think about you. I don’t want to cry over you anymore. I hope it was worth it.”
When he didn’t respond, she turned around, but Peter grasped Ava’s hand. She studied his face. His brown eyes begged her. She relaxed a little and decided that maybe once he said whatever was
on his chest she wouldn’t have to talk to him about it anymore.
“Ava, I’m very sorry for what I did to you. It wasn’t my intention. I wish I had a better answer. But maybe there was a reason for us to fall in love and to be in the same circle.” He raised his hand and touched her face, but she batted it away. He sighed. “I still care about you and I’ll protect you. Please know that I never wanted to hurt you. I love you.”
“Don’t say that to me. I’ll be cordial to you from now on, but only because it’s for the best for this mission. Don’t think we’re friends.” Ava turned away and trudged back to the cabin. She hated the drama and the heartache. Unfortunately, she still loved him but it was pointless.
Ava cried as quietly as she could into her pillow that night. She thought about Moira telling her she wouldn’t be pining forever for Peter. She wiped her tears and took a deep breath, hoping it would come sooner than later.
The light from the early morning shone through the small window. She shivered from the cold, another reminder that she was alone. Warming her body, she rolled over on her other side. Her eyes burned and were dry from the tears of the night before. Her head ached, and her body was tired. She was a bit congested, but it began to clear as she sat up. Ava was the last one awake.
Pushing aside the blankets, she stood and gasped as she peered out into a sea of white. Her mouth still open, she opened the cabin door.
The ground, the trees, everything was covered in white. Flakes poured to the ground. Every time she saw snow, excitement immediately pumped through her veins. It usually meant no school and snowball fights. But today it was dread that filled her.
Ava walked out into the thick powder and peered across the small field. The campfire was completely covered. Trees leaned toward the ground from the heavy snow.
Aidan, Ronan, and Moira were throwing snow at each other. Link and Nicole seemed to be in their own private bubble watching the snow fall. Lance chuckled as Thomas tried picking up the snow but it melted each time. Lance pelted Gillian in the face with a snowball. She chastised him, saying her hair was already frizzy enough. Ava smiled but it faded once she saw Katarina giggling as Peter chased her. She looked away and saw everyone else sitting at the covered picnic table.
Under the Winter Sun (Elemental Enchanters Series Book 3) Page 21
