“Jeremy will never turn dark.”
“What will happen if Havok takes his soul? He’ll never be the same.”
“You have to keep your faith.”
She sighed. “I know.”
Ava nodded. “Easier said than done. Trust me, I know.”
Gillian yawned.
“You should get some sleep.”
She closed her eyes and shortly after, drifted off to sleep. Ava crawled out of the tent and zipped it shut.
“How is she?” Thomas asked with Lance standing next to him.
“She’s fine. She mentioned Jeremy visiting her every night.”
Lance cocked an eyebrow. “She did?”
“Yeah.”
“I’ve been seeing Melissa.”
Thomas and Ava exchanged a confused look. “What?”
“In my dreams, I think. I don’t know. I’m so tired and my head hurts.”
“Maybe Gabriel can teach us to strengthen our minds. He helped me, but I need to practice more.”
“Yeah. Tomorrow night, we can start.” Lance rubbed the back of his neck.
“Okay. I’ll see you two in the morning,” she said and then headed toward her tent. She slowed to a stop as she approached it, seeing Gabriel sitting next to it. “Came to tuck me in?”
He got to his feet and gave an impish grin. “If you want.”
Heat rose within her body, and her neck tingled. “I think I’m okay.” She moved closer, feeling the tension between them.
“I really do appreciate you healing me.”
“Of course. I would do anything for you. And the group,” she quickly added.
“I hope you sleep well.”
“You too,” she said, and he walked away.
Ava exhaled, and crawled inside the tent. She zipped it closed and shimmied into the sleeping bag. She couldn’t help but notice how the farther they got, the worse their sleeping arrangements were. As long as she was able to sleep, that was all that mattered.
“Ava?” She heard Peter’s voice outside the tent.
She rose to a sitting position. “Peter?”
“Can we talk?”
She groaned and rolled her eyes. “What about?”
“Please let me in. I really need to talk to you.”
“Fine.”
The tent unzipped, and he slipped inside. She moved to make room for him, but they were still inches from each other. She felt his body heat. It was completely dark. She reached over and lit the lantern she had been given. When she brought the orange glow closer to him, his eyes looked lost and sad.
“What’s wrong?”
He swallowed hard as he brought his eyes to hers. “I think I’m confused. And lost.” He hesitated. “I miss you. I think I made a mistake.”
Her heart crashed into her stomach and her body tensed. “What?”
“I know, I know.”
“Why are you doing this?”
“I’m miserable. I still have feelings for you.”
Her heart jabbed at her chest, and her breathing picked up. “Don’t do this to me,” she demanded.
“I know I deserve so much worse. I definitely don’t deserve you after what I did. But, after today, I realized that I love you so much.”
“Stop. How can you do this to Katarina? To me?”
“I know you love me, and I would do anything for you.” He reached for her hands, but she pulled away. She gazed into his brown eyes and couldn’t stop. It was wrong, but she couldn’t stop herself from feeling the want and desire of him. “I hate seeing Gabriel always talking to you,” he said. “It makes me crazy. It was a mistake to be with Katarina. It was a bigger mistake to let you go.”
“Peter, stop. Just, stop, okay?” She tried to sound strong, but her voice shook.
“Ava, please believe me. I need you.”
Could he be telling the truth? She wanted it with all her heart to be true. She needed him too. However, something in the back of her mind flashed like a caution light.
She shook her head. “You don’t know what you’re saying. Has someone bewitched you?”
“No. This is me.” The sincere look in his eyes begged her.
She took a deep breath. “After all the heartache, you want to come back? You need me? What happened with Katarina?”
“I just…don’t love her like I love you.”
“No. Someone’s playing with your mind.”
“No one’s gotten to me. I’ll prove it.” His hands grasped her face and kissed her. His lips hungrily moved against hers, but she pushed him away, the caution light getting brighter.
“I can’t do this.” She held him back, her heart beating wildly.
“After today I knew that I could’ve lost you, and it wrecked me. The thought of never having you in my life—.”
“Even as friends, I’d still be in your life.”
“But it’s not enough.” Peter pushed her hands away and kissed her again. The familiarity struck her. She’d missed him so much. He held her tighter, and she let her body fall limp to his embrace.
“I love you,” he whispered in her ear.
Peter’s lips crushed hers, his body molding with hers as they rolled around in the small tent. They grabbed each other with such force. Ava had to stop this. She couldn’t let him come back into her life so easily, but she couldn’t stop herself. His lips grazed her neck, and she let out a moan. She hated that he made her feel like this. She hated how easy it was for him to unbury the immense feelings and emotions. Ava raked through his thick brown hair, and his lips moved to hers, finding her tongue. He held her so close, and she didn’t want him to release her.
She had to turn off her emotions but couldn’t.
Ava panted as his hand slid under her sweater. She shivered, letting his hands explore her body, but the caution light grew brighter. She stopped him.
“Why’d you stop?” he asked. “Don’t stop. I need you.” He kissed her neck. “I love you so much.”
“I love you, too,” she whispered, then silently cursed. It had slipped out like her mouth wasn’t cooperating with her mind. Even though it was the truth, she didn’t want to say it. It was as if temptation locked logic behind a door and barred it from escaping. “You have to go, Peter.”
“I know.” He pulled back a little. “I’m going to talk to Katarina, but don’t say anything to anyone yet. Thank you, Ava.” He kissed her one last time then slipped out of the tent.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
THE LAST GOODBYE
“You’re quiet today,” Gabriel said, as they trekked farther through the snow covered woods.
“Sorry,” Ava told him.
“What’s on your mind?”
Everything. Had she really let Peter in her tent last night and let him kiss her? He claimed he would talk to Katarina, but she doubted that since they had resumed their hand holding. Had she dreamed it? Were the Cimmerians getting inside her head as well as Gillian’s? Maybe he was putting on a show for everyone else.
“Nothing.” She knew the answered annoyed Gabriel, but she couldn’t tell him what happened. Somehow she felt guilty and embarrassed. She needed to tell Peter she couldn’t let it happen again. She was stronger than that.
The day was short but felt like an eternity. While they had made it closer to the mountains, to Ava it didn’t seem as though they’d made any progress. They set up camp and had dinner. Then some of them stayed around the fire for a little while. Ava watched Peter and Katarina snuggling together like usual. She didn’t understand it. She must have dreamed it, but it felt so real. Maybe the same thing happened to Gillian.
“Are you okay?” Gabriel asked. “You seem rather preoccupied today.”
“I’m fine. Actually, I was hoping that maybe you could help Thomas, Lance, and Gillian with the heart of stone.”
“Yeah, sure.”
The five of them gathered in a small circle, and Gabriel began explaining the heart of stone. Ava was still distracted and couldn’t concentrate.
She complained of a headache, and bid everyone good night.
She woke to the sound of footsteps in the snow nearing her tent. Her heart pounded. Was it real or was she dreaming?
“Ava,” Peter whispered. “Let me in.”
Her heart sank. “Go away,” she said.
“Please, Ava.”
She gave an annoyed sigh and unzipped the tent. Peter slid in and closed it back. He turned to her and moved in for a kiss, but she turned her head.
“What do you want?”
“Why are you angry?”
“What is this?”
“For now, we have to meet in private. I promise I’ll talk to Katarina tomorrow. She wasn’t feeling well today, but I missed you. It’s hard acting like that when I long for you.” He swept her long hair from her shoulder but she batted his hand away.
“Stop,” she demanded.
“Ava, I want you. I need you.” His lips were on hers, and she pushed against his chest but he ignored it, kissing her harder.
He broke the kiss. “I have to go, but I promise I’ll end it with her tomorrow.”
“Peter—.”
“Good night.”
But the next day Peter acted normal with Katarina. Ava still remained quiet throughout the hike and through dinner. She walked up to Peter afterward and asked him to come by her tent later that night.
“Ava?”
She unzipped her tent and slipped outside. Snow trickled down, kissing her face. They moved away from the campsite into the woods. He didn’t try to touch her at all, just had a confused look on his face.
“I guess this means you’re ready to talk.”
“What’s going on?”
“What do you mean?” he asked.
“I can’t keep doing this. I shouldn’t have even let you.” She shook her head. “How could you do this to Katarina?”
“What are you talking about?”
“Peter, drop the act. No one can hear us.”
His eyebrows drew together. “What did you want to talk about?”
She didn’t know why he was acting so different. Unless she imagined the whole thing. But she knew she didn’t. “I’m over you. We’re done. You made that clear. I can’t keep this a secret.”
“Keep…what a secret?”
She rolled her eyes. “You know exactly what I’m talking about. Stop acting like you don’t know.”
“You haven’t wanted to talk to me for weeks and now that you do—.”
“Why are you denying what happened? Are you toying with me? Playing with my emotions? Coming to me every night expressing your love and what a mistake you made, and it was just some sick joke.”
“I—.”
“I can’t believe you.” She turned away from him, but he caught her arm.
“Wait. What did you mean coming to you every night?”
“You won’t stop will you?” She pushed him with every shard of anger inside her. Angry at him, but more at herself. “I will not be enemies with you, but don’t come to me wanting to talk or apologize or whatever. Leave me alone.”
His face twisted in confusion as she walked away. She turned toward the woods and brought her shaky hands to her head. Her chest heaved as she walked. Ava couldn’t believe she let Peter hurt her again. She thought she was stronger than that. Her eyes watered as she dropped to her knees. She felt dizzy and her ears rang. How could she have let that happen? How could she have let Peter try to weasel his way back to her heart? But was it really him? Was she dreaming like Gillian had been? The more she thought about it, the more it sounded like the Cimmerians had gotten to her again.
Ava wiped her tears and looked out into the dark, snowy woods. There was a ball of light in the distance, like the one from her dream. The one where her mother appeared coaxing Ava to join Havok. She got to her feet and followed the orb. Would it bring her to her mother again? She chased it like a desperate child after a parent. Then, the orb disappeared and the scenery before her transformed into a shadowy fog. She couldn’t see.
Xavier. He’d found her and placed a shadow over her.
But she felt heavy, like she was tied to an anchor. She collapsed in the snow, face first. The dead silence in the woods was broken by the throbbing heartbeat in her ears.
Then, she succumbed to the darkness.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
DROWNING
Ava opened her eyes and found herself in the dark, cold snow filled forest. Sitting up, she looked around and shivered. Ava tried to make herself warm but couldn’t. She tried over and over, but it was like before when she’d lost her powers. She could barely see her breath as she stood, searching in the dark. Had she fallen asleep in the snow? There were no tents in view, nothing but snow covered trees. How far did she walk away?
“P-P-Peter?” She stammered from the cold then pressed her lips together. Why was he always the first one she thought of? “G-Gabriel?” She called as she trudged through the woods. There was no sound except the chattering of her teeth, the icy snow cracking beneath her boots, and the thumping of her heartbeat. “Is anybody out there? Gabe!” she screamed.
The farther she walked, the brighter it got. She looked above, and the clouds moved across the starlit sky. The white snow sparkled under the full moon as it guided her way to a frozen lake. Halting to a stop as she neared its edge, she held onto a nearby tree. The lake was the size of a football field, glittering in the bright moonlight.
“Beautiful isn’t it?” a low voice asked behind her.
She inhaled a sharp breath. She knew his voice. A shiver crept up her neck like a spider crawling along her skin. She slowly turned around. She curled her fingers into fists, waiting for the water to trickle down.
Black, soulless eyes stared into hers, a sinister grin slapped on his face as if it were permanent. His pale skin matched the moon’s light. Havok, dressed in all black, his long black hair reaching his elbows, stood a few feet from her. He looked just like Colden. He skulked closer to Ava. She stepped backward loosening her grip on the tree.
“The way the moon shines onto the lake. The sparkling snow. It’s all so beautiful.” His voice was cold and ominous. “The water is like liquid diamonds underneath. Just like you. You are such a strong Enchanter, you know. Join us. And then you’d get to see your friends again.”
This was it. Moira’s vision. It had to be. But Ava didn’t for one second want to be a part of him. “I would never join you,” she spat. “You seem pretty determined, but it’s a lost cause.”
“Perhaps. But you will join. I know.”
“You can’t see the future.”
He looked bored. “No, but Moira can,” he grinned once more. “You did an extraordinary job the other day. Killing my Enchanters and some saberwolves. And healing.” He clapped his hands together. The sound bounced off the ice. “I’m so happy to know you can heal again.”
How did he know? Had he been watching them the whole time? “How did you find me?”
He gave a short laugh. “I have my ways, Ava.”
She shuddered when he said her name.
“I see you are heartbroken again. Your Aureole seems to distrust you and enjoy seeing you hurt. If you joined my side, we would all trust you. We would never hurt you.”
“That’s a big ‘if’ because you know I won’t.”
“Ah. We’ll save the bickering for later. But in the meantime, we’ll just play, shall we?” Havok moved closer. Ava’s shoes slid a little once she stepped onto the ice. Staring into his eyes, she maintained her breathing. She wished she could warm herself and wondered if Havok had the ability to take her powers away. Or was Sorcha here? Had she put Ava to sleep again?
Beneath her feet, gallons of water pressed against the ice, and yet she could summon none of it. Nothing worked. Not even throwing water. Ava was back at square one, with no powers.
“Frustrating, isn’t it?” Havok asked. “I could give you back your powers, but you would have to join me.”
“I don’t know why
you bother. You know my answer. Besides, don’t you have plenty of Enchanters to do your dirty work for you? Why do you need me? Can’t do it yourself? Too weak?”
Anger flashed across his features, but he never said a word. Ava felt a hand around her throat, but no one was near her. The hand squeezed, and she started choking. Clawing at her neck, she couldn’t feel any hands. Havok stood before her, hands resting at his sides. She shot into the air above him almost like he’d lifted her by the throat. She couldn’t breathe. She rose into the clear night higher than he stood. Then, he let go. She fell straight down, the cold air hit her. Her legs fractured as she slammed against the ice. The sharp pain coursed through her. She screamed. The ice cracked under her, and would give way soon. She grabbed her legs and closed her eyes. Her hands bled from the jagged ice.
“Too bad I can’t heal you. That looked quite painful,” Havok said. “Though, I’ll give you one more chance, and then you can heal yourself. No more pain. No more heartache. No more anger.”
Her teeth chattered as she struggled to breathe through the agony. “It’s so sweet of you to offer. But if you want me so bad, you’ll have to fight me.”
“Well, I certainly don’t want to fight you.”
“Because you’re afraid.”
“By the looks of it, I’d say you’re the one who’s afraid.”
“I know you won’t kill me.”
“You’re right. But I do like to torture. Because I always get what I want.”
The thin layer collapsed, and Ava plunged underneath. Without her powers, she couldn’t breathe. The water didn’t console her as its iciness stabbed her legs, torso, and arms, all the way to her head. Her heartbeat slowed. She sank deeper into the darkness. Ava couldn’t swim with her broken legs. Her body stopped moving and the light from the moon slowly faded.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
BLACKOUT
Kick! a voice screamed inside her head, startling Ava. It was strong and clear. You can do this! It told her. For a moment, Ava thought it was her mother’s, but knew it couldn’t be. Savina. Savina had found her. Come on, Ava! Be strong! Kick! she urged.
Under the Winter Sun (Elemental Enchanters Series Book 3) Page 24
