by Abby Brooks
“Are you turned on, baby?” he asked. “I bet you’re so wet for me, aren’t you?”
Willow moaned and nodded, feeling the moisture pool between her legs and soak into her panties.
“Take off your pants and show me.”
Willow did just that, stepping out of her pants and slipping her hand into her panties where she discovered she was actually dripping. She slid her finger across her clit and let her eyes roll back into her head. She didn’t know how much longer she could wait for him to get undressed and sheath himself inside her. It had been too long since she’d had him there and she ached for him to fill her.
“Now take your panties off and hand them to me.” She did as she was told and Harry tweaked her nipple as soon as she was in reach. Willow gasped at the combination of pain and pleasure. “That won’t do, you bad little girl. You’re going to have to be quiet. Can you do that or do you need me to gag you again?”
A surge of desire weakened her knees remembering the way his hand had clamped down on her mouth as he fucked her against the rail at Moore Good Eats. “I don’t know if I can do it,” she said.
“Lie down on the bed,” Harry ordered and watched as she climbed onto the bed and stretched out on her back. Opened her legs and circled her clit with her finger. His eyes dark with lust, he undressed himself, his cock finally springing free of his boxer briefs. He stroked himself a few times, his gaze roving her body and then twirled her panties on a finger as he strode towards the bed.
“Look at you, teasing me like that. Spreading your legs for me.”
He kissed her chest and drew a nipple into his mouth. Teased her with his teeth and tongue until she was arching her back and crying out against her closed mouth.
“You’re not being quiet, Willow,” said Harry and he slid first two, then three fingers inside her, stroking her inner walls, going right for the spot that made her lose her mind.
“Oh, fuck, Harry,” she moaned. He reached up and put his free hand over her mouth while he worked his magic with his fingers, moving them in and out of her while she fought back gasping screams of pleasure.
Harry leaned forward and nuzzled her ear. “I want to make you come with my mouth,” he whispered. “But I can’t do that with my hand keeping you quiet.” He stopped the magic he was creating with his fingers and pulled his hand from her mouth. Balled up her panties and told her to bite down on them. And then, he had his face between her legs, his tongue circling her clit, his fingers deep inside her, and then, just as she was about to come, he slipped a finger further back, just barely inside her ass.
Her orgasm detonated through her and she bit down on her panties, her entire body clenching as she whimpered against her closed mouth. Without waiting for the orgasm to subside, Harry positioned himself between her legs and pushed inside, the warmth of his bare skin blazing into her. And then he was moving and the orgasm that had started crested into another one and she was lost. Finally satiated. Finally full. Finally complete.
She turned her head to the side and covered her face with an arm, still biting down on her panties but needing another barrier because she was losing control of her ability to stay silent. Harry flicked her arm away. “I need to see your face,” he said. “Look at me.”
She met his eyes, watched as he finally came. Saw the pleasure on his face as he crossed over the edge. He held eye contact with her as he spent himself inside her. “Mine,” he whispered with a final shudder. “I claim you as mine.”
“Yours,” she whispered. Tears pricked at her eyes and then overwhelmed her. Poured down her cheeks and dripped onto the pillowcase. “I’m so yours. So irrevocably yours. It hurts not to be with you every day.”
Harry stretched out beside her and took her into his arms, spooning her. “Like I’m missing part of myself,” he whispered.
She nodded and sobbed. Repeated what he said while clutching at his arms. “Like I’m missing part of myself.” She paused, so overcome with emotion, so aware of her true feelings and needing to say them, so afraid to say them out loud only to wish she never had. But she couldn’t keep it in one second longer. “I’m so in love with you, Harry. I know it doesn’t make sense, but I’m lost for you. My heart has been in Bliss since I left.”
There was a moment of utter, terrifying silence. Fear froze Willow’s blood and she had to make herself breathe. A new set of tears pushed against her eyes.
“That’s funny because my heart’s been here in New York. With you.” He shifted and helped her turn over so they were face to face. “I love you, Willow. I think I loved you the first moment I saw you. And I love you more with each passing day.”
21
January
“Guess what!” Willow had waited all day for her nightly video chat with Harry because she couldn’t wait to share her Official Best News Ever with him.
Harry put a finger to his chin and made a thinking face that was so cute she had to take a screenshot of it. “Ummm…” He looked right at the camera and she looked right at the screen so it felt like she was actually making eye contact with him. “You’re the best thing that ever happened to me?”
He had been saying stuff like that more and more often lately and it felt really, really good. Especially because she had been thinking that about him more and more often, too. “No…” She smiled widely as he made a shocked face.
“But you are!”
“No, that’s you. You’re the one who’s the best thing that ever happened to me. And that’s a pretty big deal since you still hold that title even after what happened today.”
Harry’s eyes lit up. “You got cast as Juliet!”
Willow nodded frantically. “I did! I really did!”
“Oh, my sweet angel, I knew you would. After I saw what you could do with something as boring as The Nutcracker…” Mischief glinted in his eyes.
“I warned you not to go.”
“I know. But then I wouldn’t have such a complete understanding of just how good you actually are. I mean, I bet anyone can dance the role of Juliet and make someone in the audience feel something. She’ll have the music and the story to help her. But you. You made people feel something in a ballet as boring as The Nutcracker. That’s real power right there, doll.”
“God, I miss you.” And she did. She felt it down to her bones, this … lack. This big empty space where Harry was supposed to be. Even something as big as finally getting to dance her dream role somehow felt less. Wasn’t achieving your dreams supposed to be the best thing that could ever happen to a person? Wasn’t reaching new landmarks and checking goals off your bucket list the whole point of life?
It just … didn’t feel that way. This moment right now, sitting here at her kitchen table, chatting with Harry, this was the best part of her day. Better than the high she got after a killer rehearsal today. Better than the compliment she got from the director about her recent performance. And even better than seeing her name beside the role of Juliet on the cast list.
And tomorrow’s chat with Harry would be the next best part of her life. And the next conversation, and the next conversation. And the next. She was quickly realizing that Harry was the best part of her life.
Better than dancing.
Better than living every dancer’s dream, working for one of the best companies in the world, living in one of the best cities in the world
Better than checking things off her bucket list.
What did that mean?
Well, the answer to that was so simple and so complex all at the same time. It meant that Harry was the best thing about her life, the most important thing in her life. It meant that he was worth more to her than any amount of success in her career. She tried to imagine any number of possible outcomes to her life, getting promoted to principal dancer, becoming a ballet mistress, or, going all the way to fantasy land, she imagined what it would be like to become the director of American City Ballet—a status akin to god in the dance world.
Nothing she imagined satisf
ied her in the same way imagining falling asleep next to Harry every night did. Nothing felt as right as Harry.
“Hey.” Harry knocked on his tablet screen and leaned in really close to the camera. “Where’d you go?”
“I’m right here,” she said, smiling at how adorable he was.
“Sure, your body’s there, but your mind sure isn’t. I was so far off your radar we weren’t even in the same zip code.”
Willow made a sad face. He had no idea he was so very much on her radar that she was contemplating life without dance for him. “But we aren’t even in the same zip code.”
“Sure, if you want to argue semantics, we can do that. Or, you could tell me where you mind went just now and we can talk about it.”
Willow hesitated for a fraction of second, not sure exactly how honest she wanted to be. “I miss you is all. Lots and lots. More than you know.”
Harry’s face went all sentimental. “I love you, Willow Tamran. My sweet angel. And I miss you every moment I’m not at your side.” The honesty in his voice was so sweet it almost hurt. “You’re still coming down this weekend? That’s all still good? No snags in that plan?”
“No snags in that plan.” Willow stood up and carried her tablet with her to rummage through the fridge. “Will you cook for me again when I’m there? I’m getting really tired of protein bars.”
“You bet your sweet ass I’ll cook for you again.”
Willow blushed from head to toe at the mention of her sweet ass, remembering just exactly where his finger went the last time they were together.
“Look at you, blushing like a little girl. You still don’t know what to do with the fact that you liked it so much, do you?”
Willow shuddered. “I don’t want to like it as much as I did. I feel … dirty.” She grabbed a container of Greek yogurt and checked the date.
“You are dirty. You're my dirty little angel and I absolutely love it.”
“I’m glad that you love it, but next time, would you warn me?”
“If I warn you, you’ll tell me no and you won’t get to come as hard as you did that weekend.” Harry smirked at her shocked expression. “Besides. I’ve told you before. When it comes to the bedroom, I’m in charge. I promise I won’t do anything to you that you don’t want me to, but one look at your face tells me that you’d be totally fine if I was there right now with my finger up your—”
“Harry!” Willow widened her eyes at the camera. “That’s enough.” She softened her expression. “You’re embarrassing me.”
Harry sighed. “That’s one thing I want to work on. I don’t want one thing between us. I already have to deal with hundreds of miles between us. I don’t need anything else getting in the way. When it’s us together, babe, it’s just us. There’s nothing disgusting about doing what feels good when you’re with the one you love. No secrets. No shame. Nothing between us.”
Willow touched a finger to the screen, wishing she could feel his skin. “Nothing between us,” she said. “Now, if I show you what’s in my fridge, will you help me put together a decent dinner? I’m starving.”
* * *
Willow lay awake that night, her belly and her heart full while her mind worked through what seemed to be an infinite number of questions about where she was with her life and what she was doing. She was almost completely certain that if Harry asked her to move to Bliss to be with him, she would say yes. She would give up her career in order to be part of his life in South Carolina.
But, she wasn’t sure she was actually supposed to feel that way. Wasn’t she supposed to be able to support herself? Wasn’t she supposed to put herself first? Wasn’t that the right thing to do? If she moved to Bliss, she would have no source of income, no safety net if things didn’t work out between her and Harry. It’s not like if she quit dancing and found out that was the wrong decision that she could just make some phone calls and get her job back.
Dancing took discipline. Constant and consistent discipline. If she quit, it meant she was done. No turning back if things went wrong in Bliss. And what would she be without either Harry or dancing?
Well, she would still be herself. That would always be true, no matter what the circumstances were surrounding her life. But she sure would be in quite the pickle, with no job, no skills, and no Mr. Wonderful to support her.
Troubled by questions about the future, Willow fell into a murky sleep, waking often, wishing she could just curl up against Harry instead of tossing and turning in her suddenly too big bed.
22
There’s nothing quite as welcome than the sun to a New Yorker in winter. Willow stepped out the front door of Charleston International Airport and took a deep breath and closed her eyes. She couldn’t believe she was even thinking this, but everything was better here. The sun, the smell, the warmth.
Harry.
Willow scanned the line of cars waiting to pick up passengers and found an unmistakeable candy apple red GTO at the front of the line. Harry leaned back against the car, his arms crossed over his chest and his long legs crossed at the ankles, staring towards the doors. Her luggage trailing behind her, the little wheels thunking over the breaks in the concrete, she ran to him. Her hair streamed behind her and her soul reached out in front of her and she felt complete for the first time since he left New York last month.
“Hey,” she said when she came to a stop in front of him, wanting to say so much more, but not sure how to say everything she was feeling.
Harry didn’t move. He didn’t uncross his arms. He didn’t stand up and pull her into him. He didn’t even smile. He just stared at her, his sunglasses making his face unreadable. Her heart did its best impression of dying, slowing to a stop and then speeding around like a hummingbird on crack all in what felt like the same second.
She froze. Waited for him to speak. Needed him to speak.
And then he reached up and slid his sunglasses down his nose and she could see just the faintest glimmer of tears receding in his eyes. “Hey,” he said, his voice thick with emotion. “You are one hell of a sight for sore eyes.”
Relief brought its own set of tears up, blurring her vision. “I thought you were mad at me!” She dropped her bag and rushed into his arms, pressed her face to his chest and listened to the steady beat of his heart while breathing him in.
He ran a hand through her hair and then ever so gently turned her face up to meet his gaze. “How could I ever be mad at you? You’re my angel. My heartbeat. My soul.”
Willow sniffled and all the words she wanted to say got stuck behind the lump in her throat. “I love you,” she said, and hoped he could see how it wasn’t just words, but that it had become her definition.
“I love you, too.” He dug in his pocket and pulled out the car keys, swirled them around his index finger, and gave her a look that sent nerves jangling through her system.
“You trust me to drive the GTO?” She didn’t know if she trusted herself to drive the GTO.
Harry pulled his sunglasses all the way off and laughed. “Willow. My angel. I love you. Like a lot. Don’t forget that. But this thing has a manual transmission that I rebuilt from the ground up and I won’t be teaching you how to drive stick in this thing.”
Relief and embarrassment flared in bright red streaks across her cheeks. “I’m not gonna lie. That’s more than fine with me.” She laughed nervously. “Shows you how much I know about cars. I actually forgot you had to shift some of them yourself.”
Harry stowed her bag in the trunk and opened the passenger door for her. Hopped into the driver’s seat and brought the engine to life with a twist of his wrist. Willow watched his feet working the pedals and his hand working the clutch as he drove them back to his house and was so thankful that she wasn’t the one behind the wheel. At least not in this car. Maybe someday she would ask him to teach her to drive a stick. Just not in this car.
“You like watching me work my stick?” Harry’s voice broke through her reverie. She looked up to find him grinni
ng like a school boy.
“Surprisingly, I do.” She bit her lip. “Would you show me how to work your stick? The way you like it?”
Harry pulled into his driveway and parked the GTO. “Don’t you worry on that one. The way you do it? That’s the way I like it. Now,” he said, opening the door stepping one foot out. “Why don’t you come inside with me and I’ll show you just exactly how much I like it.”
* * *
One hour and about fourteen orgasms later, and Harry and Willow were sitting out on his deck in the sunshine. Harry had on jeans and a sweatshirt while Willow was sporting short sleeves.
“Aren’t you cold?” he asked.
Willow laughed. “You South Carolinians are so cute.” She reached across the open space between their armchairs and patted his hand. “When I left my apartment this morning, it was fifteen degrees. And the sky has been gray for the last week straight. Right now, I’m basking in the sunshine in nearly sixty degree weather.”
“So, does that mean you aren’t cold?”
“No, silly! It means you’re ridiculous for being cold.”
Harry pursed his lips and lifted his eyebrows. “Oh, so now the gloves come off, huh? Is this what life with you is like? Is this what I have to look forward to? Name-calling and abuse?”
Willow’s stomach did a flip-flopping little head over heels tumble down a hill and she choked a little on her laughter. What did he mean, look forward to? Did he mean, like, the way things are now? With him here and her there and a lot of missing each other in between? Or was he looking towards a real, honest to goodness future? One where they shared the same space at the same time all the time?
Harry’s face fell. “Uh-oh. What did I say? You look like someone just ran over your cat.”
