Pain shot through her gut and tightened her lips together. Rafe was hers. And she was his. That was the way it had always been. She just hadn’t realized what it meant. Over her dead body would Carrie Sue or anyone else take him from her.
Every time Rafe glanced at Tuck, his heart jumped like crazy and he couldn’t stop smiling. Several times he’d caught her glancing at him and Carrie with jealousy all over her face. He’d always been able to read her like a book until Sam Fields came along. What better time for that ability to return?
A bubble of glee rose in him. Maybe she cared more about him than he realized. She might not even know it herself because she’d allowed infatuation for that doctor to cloud her reasoning. He didn’t want to get his hopes up, but nevertheless, the possibility that he and Tuck had a chance seemed more certain than ever.
Carrie Sue returned his smile, her eyes shining with delight. It was obvious she believed she was the source of his happiness. Guilt wormed its way into his conscience. Carrie would be furious when she learned today was not only their first date but also their last. He didn’t blame her. He should have never asked her to accompany him. Carrie was very nice and extremely pretty and would more than likely make some man a good wife. Just not him.
No other woman was as beautiful in his eyes as Tuck, with her wild curls and dancing eyes. And with the way she threatened to knock the tar out of him when he teased her.
A laugh escaped from his lips. Carrie glanced at him, and her joyous expression faded. She’d caught him staring at Tuck. Her face puckered, and she blinked back tears. She didn’t deserve this. Guilt riddling him, Rafe reached out his hand to her. Shaking her head, she blinked back tears then composed her face. Relief mixed with his guilt. At least she wouldn’t make a scene. Not in public at any rate.
Determined to avoid hurting Carrie as much as possible, he devoted himself to her for the rest of the afternoon, making a valiant, although not completely successful, attempt to keep his eyes off Tuck.
The bazaar shut down at six, and Rafe sighed a breath of relief as he helped Carrie Sue into the buggy. She appeared exhausted, perhaps from trying to keep up appearances. She’d done a good job so far. He just hoped she didn’t tear into him on the way home, although it would serve him right if she did. She stiffened as he wrapped the carriage blanket around her to shield her from the cold night air.
The silence as they drove home only deepened Rafe’s guilt. Carrie Sue deserved some sort of explanation or at least an apology. If he’d left her alone, she’d probably have spent this afternoon with someone who would have given her the admiration she deserved.
He cleared his throat, searching for the right words. “Carrie…”
“Never mind, Rafe. I know you love Abby. I’ve always known it. I guess when she started going out with the doctor, I hoped you would turn to me.” She bit her lip then smiled. “It’s all right. Don’t worry, I won’t go into seclusion. Several young men are waiting in line for my attention.”
“I don’t doubt that. You’re a nice girl and very lovely, by the way.” He smiled. “I thought you’d hit me over the head. Wouldn’t blame you a bit if you did.”
A sad smile tipped one side of her rosebud mouth. “You can’t help who you love.”
Rafe shook his head. That was another thing that puzzled him. He must really wear his heart on his sleeve. “How did you know I’m in love with Tuck? I didn’t know myself until recently.”
She laughed. “You two are so funny. Everyone knows you love each other. It’s so obvious. How could we not know?”
“So you think Tuck loves me and doesn’t know it?” He probably shouldn’t be talking about loving Tuck with Carrie Sue, but he couldn’t stop himself.
“I think she knows it now, Rafe. And if she doesn’t realize you love her, she’s blind as a bat.”
Rafe turned into the Andersons’ cedar-lined drive. When he stopped in front of the house, he took her hand. “Carrie Sue, if I wasn’t so much in love with Tuck, I can’t think of another girl I’d rather fall in love with than you.”
“Pity’s sake, Rafe. Stop trying to make me feel better. I’m quite all right. You’re not the only eligible man in the county, you know.” She laughed and tapped him on the arm. “You’re not even the best-looking one.”
Heat rose up his neck and singed his cheeks. Had he been assuming she cared more about him than she did? He must have sounded like an idiot.
“Oh, now I’ve embarrassed you.” She patted his arm. “Sorry. Now help me down and go say sweet things to Abby. I’d say she’s the one who’ll hit you.”
He wouldn’t mind a pounding from Tuck about now. It wouldn’t be the first time. Always in fun, of course. He chuckled. “You’re more than likely right about that.” He stepped out of the carriage and went around to help her out, then walked her to the door where she stopped.
“I wish I could say it was a wonderful afternoon, Rafe, but that wouldn’t be exactly the truth, so I’ll just say good-bye. I hope everything works out for you and Abby.” She smiled and, with a little wave, opened the door and went inside.
Rafe breathed a sigh of relief that Carrie had been such a good sport and that he hadn’t had to face her mother.
Night came early in Missouri this time of the year. The dark canopy above him as he drove away from the Anderson farm was studded with diamonds. Never had he seen such a night sky. He breathed in the clean night air then shivered from the coldness in his lungs. Tuck should be here with him. They’d always loved to go riding at night. Usually on horseback.
A picture of her astride Sweet Pea, her head thrown back in laughter, filled his thoughts, and his heart raced. What should he do now? He didn’t want to make a wrong move and mess things up.
He’d see her at church in the morning. Maybe he could manage an invitation to dinner. Nah. He might have before, but things were different now. Maybe he’d invite her to dinner.
He sighed. The best thing would be to pray and leave it in God’s hands. God would show him what to do. And Rafe would sure keep his eyes open so he wouldn’t miss it.
Chapter 18
Move over, Bessie. You’re going to knock the bucket over.” Tuck gave the cow’s rump a shove then returned to the milking. Streams of milk dinging against the galvanized bucket combined with her daydreaming had almost caused her to doze off. Ma wouldn’t have been happy, to say the least, if she’d lost all the milk due to carelessness. Nevertheless, Tuck couldn’t keep the daydreaming at bay.
The memory of Carrie Sue hanging all over Rafe had tormented her ever since the bazaar, nearly a week ago. Every time the picture crossed her thoughts, a fresh pang sliced through her. She’d just begun to get used to the idea that Rafe was in love with her. Now he’d apparently forgotten his own feelings. Or, more likely, she had misunderstood what he said. If so, that was good. She and Rafe could go back to the way things used to be. Yes, that was good. But why didn’t she feel like it was good?
“Abby, are you about done? It’s getting colder.” A gust of wind followed her twin through the barn door. Addy carried the egg basket in the crook of her arm. “Hurry and we can walk back to the house together.”
That meant Addy wanted to question her again about how she felt about Rafe and Carrie Sue. The nosy thing. She’d been trying to get her to talk about it all week. Tuck didn’t intend to utter one word about it.
“I’m not done with the milking yet. You go on. I’ll be there in a few minutes.” Maybe after she strained the milk she’d slip away and saddle Sweet Pea up for a ride.
“Oh, I’m in no hurry.” Addy sat on a bale of hay with her basket on her knees. “Wasn’t the bazaar fun? We should have them more often. I loved the little wooden stars I bought for the Christmas tree.”
“They are pretty. Did you show them to Ma?” Ma and Pa both loved Christmas. Tuck loved seeing Ma’s childlike enthusiasm for the holiday.
“No, I want to keep them a secret until we get the tree.” Addy loved decorating, but it f
ell to Pa and Tuck to fetch the evergreen every year.
“I can’t believe it’s only two weeks until Christmas.” She supposed Rafe would spend the day with Carrie Sue. She took a deep breath and shoved the thought away. This was getting ridiculous.
Bessie mooed. Tuck started and stared at the bucket of milk.
“Abby, you haven’t gotten a drop of milk in the past two minutes. What’s wrong with you?”
Tuck sighed and stood, shoving the stool away with her foot. “Nothing. I guess I’m just still half asleep.”
Addy stood. “Well, hurry and get Bessie back into her stall. I’m getting cold. Besides, we promised Ma we’d finish sewing our Christmas dresses today. The Christmas dance is only one week away.”
“And one day.” Tuck led Bessie back to her stall and forked some hay into her trough. Then, carrying the bucket of milk, she followed her sister out the door. Addy was right. The air felt a lot colder than when they’d come outside to do their morning chores.
Tuck washed her hands and strained the milk, then went to join Addy and Ma in the parlor for a long day of sewing. She wrinkled her nose at the thought. If she could afford it, she’d buy all her dresses ready-made.
Ma’s smile didn’t quite meet her eyes as she held out Tuck’s gown with both hands. “Yours is all finished except for hemming.”
“What? How?” She took the silky blue gown and held it up. Sure enough. The lace was even sewn on. “I haven’t worked on it at all this week.” Oops. She really needed to watch her words.
She cut a glance at Ma who was already busy arranging the piles of fabric in her lap.
“Addy did it for you.” Ma glanced up and her eyebrows rose slightly. “In spite of her own work load.”
Tuck flashed a quick glance of gratitude at Addy but wished her sister had been a little more secretive about the good deed. “Thanks, sis.”
“It was no problem. You know I love to sew, and you’ve been busy practicing your music for the dance.”
Tuck nodded. Addy was always taking care of her. She guessed it was a good thing.
Ma glanced up. “Yes, you do make beautiful music, Tuck. It was a blessing that Mr. Van Schultz was willing to take you under his wing.”
“And Pap Sanders,” Tuck said. “Don’t forget Pap. If not for him, I might never have known I loved the fiddle.”
She often thought back with nostalgia to those days when Papa Jack had been a riverboat captain. It was on the Julia Dawn, his boat, that Tuck and Addy had become fast friends with Pap Sanders, his fiddle-playing cook. When the old man had noticed Tuck’s interest in the fiddle, he had taken her under his wing and taught her the basics. She’d done so well that Addy had insisted she take possession of their grandfather’s violin. She sighed and stabbed her needle at the hem in her hand. The locket that lay beneath her shirt felt cold and heavy.
“Of course, Abigail,” Ma’s voice was tender. “I know Mr. Sanders played a large part in getting you started.”
Tuck swallowed past a lump that had suddenly formed in her throat. Addy was always doing things on impulse to make Tuck feel better. She should never have allowed her sister to give her their mother’s locket. It was precious to her, in a deep way it had never been to Tuck. Tuck had chosen the violin and would have done the same today.
Ma cleared her throat. “I wonder how Rafe is. I haven’t seen him since the bazaar. The Anderson girl seems quite taken with him.”
At the sudden turn in the conversation, Tuck jerked her head up and looked at Ma. She sat looking intently at her sewing, but Tuck wasn’t fooled. Ma had always had a soft spot for Rafe and had even tried matchmaking a few times over the years. Huh. If she was trying to get a reaction out of Tuck, she was doomed to failure.
Still, it wouldn’t hurt to take a ride over to Rafe’s just to check out his intentions toward Carrie Sue. That is if she ever got this fool hem done.
Rafe mentally patted himself on the back for coming up with the perfect Christmas present for his nephew, Bobby. Every time Rafe dropped by his sister Betty’s house, the four-year-old plied him with questions about the White River Line. Just last week, Bobby had informed him that he wanted to be a train engineer when he grew up.
Rafe leaned back on the crate where he was sitting and examined the wooden train engine on the floor in front of him. It was shaping up nicely. All Rafe had to do now was attach the wheels and slap on a coat or two of paint. He could envision Bobby scooting around the house on it on Christmas day making train sounds.
At the sound of horse’s hooves in the yard, Rafe got up and walked to the barn door. His heart jumped as Tuck slid off Sweet Pea and stepped up onto the porch. “Hey, Tuck,” he yelled. “I’m out here.”
She turned and waved, grinning as she walked toward him. “Maybe I came to see your ma.” She stopped in front of him. “Ever think of that?”
“Oh well, in that case, you’ll find Ma in the house.” He turned as though to walk away, then turned back around and grinned. “It’s good to see you.”
“You just saw me at the bazaar a few days ago,” she retorted.
“You know what I mean.”
“I know.” She paused then shrugged. “I’ve missed you, too.”
That sounded promising. If she meant it the way he hoped she did. He squinted at her. “I’m not the one that made myself scarce.”
She stiffened, then relaxed and took a deep breath. “I know. Sorry about that, Rafe. I guess I went a little crazy over that no-good doctor.”
He wouldn’t exactly say she sounded hangdog, but accompanied by the regret in her voice, he knew she was beating herself up. “Hey, let’s go fishing tomorrow.” He cringed inwardly. That was brilliant.
She laughed. “If it keeps getting colder, the river will be iced over by then. At least part of it. What do you plan? Ice fishing?”
“Okay, okay. Bad idea. I have another one. That railroad guy is holding a meeting at the church house tomorrow. Want to go?” Not as good as fishing, but it could be interesting. At least he’d be spending time with Tuck.
She frowned. “What’s going on with them? Do you know? I heard they’re trying to buy up everyone’s land.”
“I’m not sure. Jim said they just want the area around Branson’s and the mill.”
Her eyes brightened. “Okay, we might as well go find out what they’re up to. What time?”
“Ten o’clock, I think. If I hear differently, I’ll ride over and let you know.” He didn’t really care what they did, so long as he could be with her. “Maybe you should mention it to your folks. My pa’s going.”
“I was thinking the same thing. They might want to attend the meeting.” She glanced toward Bobby’s train. “That’s a nice train engine.”
“Thanks. I’m making it for Bobby for Christmas.” He eyed it. “Think he’ll like it?”
“Will he be able to ride on it?” she asked.
“Yes, I’m getting ready to put the wheels on. It’ll roll with a push of his feet, I hope. It’s supposed to anyway.”
Rafe had missed hearing her laughter, which rippled out now. “I’m sure it will. And yes, I think he’ll love it. What little boy wouldn’t?”
“I would’ve,” he said.
“Sure, you’d have loved taking it apart.” She cut a sarcastic glance his way.
“Now what makes you say that?” he asked with a chuckle.
“As if you didn’t know. Remember the time you took Hank’s desk apart?”
“Well, a screw was in crooked. How was I to know the whole thing would fall apart?”
“Ha. Only after you removed about a dozen more of them.” She bent over with laughter.
The next thing he knew they were both howling.
Tuck wiped her sleeve across her eyes. Was she crying? If so, he understood. Even if she never loved him the way he wanted her to, at least they hadn’t lost what they had before. He hadn’t lost his best friend.
Emotion welled up in him, and he swallowed hard. “You wa
nt to help me paint this thing, after I get the wheels on?” He immediately regretted the invitation. The first, last, and only time they’d painted anything together, she’d made such a mess he’d had to do the whole job over.
She laughed. “You should see your face. Don’t worry. I’m not taking you up on that.”
He blew out an exaggerated sigh of relief. “Well then, we can go inside and beg Ma for some of those Christmas cookies she’s been hiding for the last week.”
“I’d love to, but I need to get home. I sort of sneaked out when no one was looking, and we’re baking today, too.” She smiled. “I’ll see you in the morning then.”
“Okay…uh…don’t saddle Sweet Pea. I’ll bring the buggy.” Warmth spread across his face.
She blinked, and pink washed over her face. Was that a blush or a flush or anger? She blinked again. Her lips tipped at one corner. Was she going to yell? “Okay, that would be nice. See you then.” She mounted Sweet Pea and rode away without a glance back.
Delight rushed over Rafe, and he couldn’t keep from grinning. Tuck cared. He knew she did. The question was did she know it?
“Waaaaahooooo.” His cry of victory resounded across the yard. The hound jumped up and bayed. Rafe threw his head back and laughed.
He’d have to go slowly. But not too slowly. He wasn’t about to take any chances on losing Tuck when he was this close to winning her.
Chapter 19
A nervous murmur rippled throughout the packed church. Tuck sat with Rafe on the bench beside his parents. His brother-in-law, Robert, sat at the other end. Ma, Pa, Addy, and Aunt Kate were in front of them.
Fullbright, the railroad representative, stepped up on the platform and stood behind the pulpit. He cleared his throat and glanced down at some papers before him on the pulpit. “Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for coming.” His voice boomed across the room. At least they’d be able to hear him.
Tuck forced herself to sit straight while Rafe leaned forward, his arms crossed on the back of the bench in front of them, his eyes focused on the railroad man.
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