Violet shook her head. “You don’t have to apologize. That was a long time ago.”
“I do.” He frowned. “You need to know how genuinely sorry I am.”
She furrowed her brow. “I appreciate you telling me.”
“There’s more.” He cleared his throat. “I think there was a rumor in college that I’d taken a gap year or something and gone to Europe.” He shook his head. “That wasn’t the truth.”
Violet widened her eyes. “Yeah, I’m pretty sure I heard something like that.”
“I actually started college at the U of A with some of my friends. Summer after my freshman year, I lived there in an apartment with some other guys.” He chewed on the inside of his lip. “We were dumb guys, you know? It was the first taste of freedom for many of us, and we did some really stupid stuff.” He sighed. “The stupidest by far was one night toward the end of the summer when I got in the car with one of my buddies. He’d been drinking.” He swallowed. “We both had.”
She shook her head. “What happened?” she whispered.
“There were several of us in the car. We were so stupid.” He’d never had to tell anyone the story before. It was much harder than he’d expected. “Richie lost control going around a curve. I was thrown from the car. The last thing I remember is hearing the girl I’d been seeing—her name was Jenna—scream.” He took a deep breath. “Jenna didn’t make it. I barely did.”
“I’m so sorry.” Violet reached for his hand and squeezed it.
“I had a lot of injuries. I went through multiple surgeries and a lot of rehab. It was terrible.” He sighed. “Not only that, but I felt immense guilt over Jenna’s death. I hadn’t dated much before college, so she was my first real relationship. And it was my fault that we were in that car. I knew better. I’d been brought up better.”
“You were young.”
He shook his head. “That’s not really an excuse.” He cleared his throat. “Anyway, it took me a long time to recover. And there was a lot of pain—so much that I was on a lot of pain medication.” He shrugged. “My parents were so upset with me over my behavior at the U of A that they insisted the only school where they’d pay tuition was Harding. They wanted me surrounded by Christians in the hopes that it would help turn me back to the straight and narrow.”
“And did it?”
He shrugged. “It was definitely better for me to be in that environment after everything I’d been through. But in some ways, it caused me even more problems. I felt like I wasn’t good enough to be there.”
“I’m sorry you felt that way.”
“It just felt like everyone I met had these perfect lives. They did and said the right things. And then there was me, with this big, awful secret. Even worse, I had a very hard time getting off the pain pills. Probably a lot of the time you had interaction with me, I was refusing to face the fact that I might be addicted. That made me feel even worse about myself.”
“It sounds like you had a really rough time. I had no idea.”
“I was miserable, and I tried to make everyone around me miserable. I came to that campus acting like I was some kind of hotshot. I picked on anyone who might be an easy target just to make myself feel better.”
“Including me.”
He squeezed her hand. “I’m really sorry. You have to understand that I’m a different person now. I’ve worked really hard to put all of that behind me.”
Violet regarded him for a long moment, and Jackson couldn’t help but wonder if she was going to dissolve their contract and send him on his way.
Violet’s mind reeled. Jackson’s story was not at all what she’d expected when he’d shown up on her doorstep. She’d thought he might want to prep her for the visit to his sister’s house. But she’d never expected anything like this. “I can’t imagine what you’ve gone through.”
He sighed. “I don’t want pity or anything. I just need you to understand that the guy you met fifteen years ago was carrying a lot of burdens. I was in pain—both physical and emotional—and nothing helped. I think it was during that time that I lashed out at those people I saw as having it all together. People like you.”
“You thought I had it all together?”
He gave her a tentative smile. “Yeah. You were the kind of person who just floated through life. You never seemed to care much about fitting in with a certain crowd. You just did your own thing.”
“I dealt with stuff of my own. Nothing like you did, but still. My life was far from perfect.”
“I know that now. It’s something I guess you learn with age. We all have our own issues, our own insecurities.”
She nodded. “So how did you get your life back together?”
“After graduation, I went to grad school. I worked hard to get off the pain meds completely. It was hard. Very hard. But I had a good support group at the church I attended. I think I told you that grad school was when I feel like I really formed my own relationship with the Lord and developed my own faith. That had a huge part in my recovery and eventually helped me to become a better man. It’s hard knowing I hurt people.”
“It’s weird how you never know the things a person might be dealing with just by looking at them, isn’t it?” She glanced at him. “When I met Shadow and she was all decked out in black clothes and had fake tattoos and piercings, I jumped to a conclusion about her. And back in college when I met you, I thought you were a pretentious frat boy who made fun of everyone and everything.” She shrugged. “I was wrong in both cases. Shadow has dealt with tremendous loss for a child so young. And you must have felt such remorse over the accident and the fallout that it’s no wonder you lashed out.”
Jackson nodded. “I think for me, one of the worst things was the division it caused within my family. My parents fought a lot during those years, and I know a big reason was because of the stress I put on the family. It can’t be easy to see your child make terrible decisions and almost get himself killed. And my parents knew about my problem with pain meds, but they were helpless to stop it.” He shook his head. “I finally realized that the pain I was trying to end wasn’t really from my physical injuries—but it took a long time to figure that out.” He gave her a sheepish look. “Now that you know the truth, do you think I’m too messed up to deal with?”
She smiled. “Not at all. I know it wasn’t easy for you to tell me all of that. But look at you now. You have your life together, you’re successful in your career, and you’re about to receive an award from your alma mater.” She bumped against him with her shoulder. “And you have the best fake girlfriend in the history of fake girlfriends.”
Jackson chuckled. “That I do.”
Violet could tell he was glad to have gotten it off his chest. And she was glad for him. Sometimes it seemed like harboring secrets wound up causing more hurt than just letting them out in the open.
She wondered what that meant for their arrangement. Would the secret they shared come back to haunt them? She certainly hoped not.
Chapter 24
Reagan McClure: GUESS WHAT? I AGREED TO DO THE FREELANCE JOB. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF REAGAN MCCLURE DESIGNS? (Text message sent October 13, 8:14 a.m.)
Violet Matthews: THAT’S AWESOME! WHAT DOES CHAD THINK? WE’RE ON OUR WAY TO MEMPHIS TO VISIT JACKSON’S SISTER.…(Text message sent October 13, 8:22 a.m.)
Reagan walked into Ava Grace’s room to see what the commotion was about. “What’s going on in here?” she asked. Blankets were spread all over the floor, most of them with dolls or stuffed animals on them. Two of the blankets were empty.
Ava Grace cast a woeful gaze at her mother. “They’re in time-out.” She pointed to a stuffed bear and a doll missing an arm.
“You’re putting your babies in time-out?” She couldn’t hide her smile. Time-out was a concept Ava Grace had picked up at Sunday school. “Were they bad?”
The little girl nodded. “They didn’t share.” She put the back of her hand to her forehead. “It was terrible.”
Reaga
n burst out laughing. “Oh, drama.”
“I’m not drama. I’m Ava Grace.” She lifted her chin defiantly.
“That you are,” Reagan said. Her kids were so funny. She knew every mom in the world must think they had the funniest kids, but she was pretty sure hers really were.
“Mama, I can’t find my gymnastics bag,” Izzy yelled.
Reagan hurried to help hunt the lost bag. Chad had promised to take Izzy to gymnastics today, which would help out a lot. Once Ava Grace and the twins were down for their naps, she could get some housework done and maybe play around with a few ideas for her freelance job.
“When was the last time you saw your bag?” she asked Izzy. In the span of a couple of hours, she’d managed to tear her room apart. “And what happened to your room? It was clean this morning.”
Izzy shrugged her shoulders. “I’m trying to find my bag.”
“Is your version of trying to find your bag tossing everything off the shelves and onto the floor?”
“Pretty much.” Izzy grinned, showing the gap where her two front teeth were missing. Soon she’d have her permanent teeth. She was sure growing up fast.
“Want me to put your hair up for class?”
Izzy thought for a moment. “Can you do a bun? Like a ballerina?”
“I can try.” She grabbed a brush from the bathroom. “Come here.”
Izzy stood in front of her and watched in the mirror.
Reagan brushed her long, straw-colored hair. “You’ve got some tangles today. Did you sleep standing on your head?”
Izzy giggled.
Reagan quickly wound her daughter’s hair into a bun. “There you go. You look like a princess.” She hugged her. “Now let’s go see if your bag is in the laundry room. I think I remember seeing it there.”
They walked past Ava Grace’s room where she’d put two more dolls in time-out and was fussing at them for arguing with each other.
Just a typical morning at the McClure house.
“We’re going to be late,” Chad said as Reagan and Izzy walked into the kitchen.
“There’s a missing bag. You’ll have to hold on one second,” Reagan said. She scanned the laundry room that also served as the entry room from the garage—and thus the catchall room. Shoes, bags, blankets, toys. You never knew what you might find in there. “Here it is.” Reagan handed Izzy the bag and kissed her on the forehead. “Have fun.”
Chad walked past her and grinned. “We’ll be back soon.” He gave her a quick peck on the cheek and ushered Izzy out the door.
Once she had put Ava Grace, Scarlett, and Simon down for naps, she sat down at the computer. Reagan McClure Designs. It had a nice ring to it. She should talk to Chad tonight.
Unless she waited until she had a couple of clients. If her freelancing didn’t pan out, there was no need to have started an unnecessary argument.
Yes, that was a much better plan. She’d do a couple more jobs, and then if she had success, she’d tell him her plans.
Even though she hated keeping things from her husband, she was pretty sure there was something he was keeping from her. He’d never been good at keeping things from her, and the past few weeks he’d been very closemouthed about meetings and had been constantly glued to his iPhone. She wasn’t sure what was going on, but she feared the worst.
Jackson took Violet’s hand and helped her out of the car. “Ready?” he asked.
“Ready as I’ll ever be. You?” She’d had fun on the trip to Memphis. Now that Jackson had gotten the news about his accident and bad behavior off his chest, it seemed he’d loosened up some. They’d discussed everything from their favorite movie moments to the next presidential election.
Violet had never been so open with a guy before. She knew part of that was because their relationship wasn’t what they claimed it to be. So she felt like she could be herself. She could say anything.
“Uncle Jack!” A brown-haired girl who looked to be about five raced toward them.
Jackson picked her up and tossed her in the air. “Hello, sweet Olivia. When did you get so grown up?” He put her down, and she gave him a gap-toothed grin.
“I’m not grown up, silly. I’m in kindergarten.” She looked at Violet. “Tyler and I have presents for you,” she said shyly.
Violet knelt down. “I’m Violet. Thank you for letting me stay in your house tonight.”
“Oh, you’ll have to thank my mommy for that.” She grinned again. “I’m not allowed to have sleepovers yet.”
Violet laughed.
Olivia took Jackson’s hand and then held her other hand up to Violet. “Can you swing me?”
They walked the rest of the way to the house swinging Olivia between them. She giggled each time they lifted her in the air.
“She’s great,” Violet murmured to Jackson as they reached the porch.
“There you are.” A petite woman with the same steely blue eyes as Jackson opened the door. “Olivia has been sitting out here waiting.” She grinned at her daughter. “She was supposed to come tell us when you got here, but I’ll bet she was too excited.” She held out a hand to Violet. “I’m Kathleen Morgan.”
Violet introduced herself and followed her into the house. Meeting the family was a new experience for her. Zach’s family had lived out of state, and she’d never met them. “Thanks for having me.”
“Are you kidding?” Kathleen grinned and gave Jackson a side hug. “We’re thrilled that Jackson has found someone he wanted to introduce to us.” She nudged him with her elbow. “But Mom is jealous that we’re meeting Violet first and she lives right there in town.”
Jackson chuckled. “Thanksgiving will be here before you know it.”
He’d filled Violet in on his mom’s dating life. She’d tried to be supportive of his feelings, but had finally pointed out that he might be overreacting a bit. “I’m looking forward to meeting her though,” Violet said.
Kathleen led them into the kitchen. “The guys are gone to get Tyler a new pair of soccer cleats, but it could take a little while to find just the right pair. Let’s go ahead and eat while it’s hot.”
An hour later after the dishes were cleared, Jackson went to the backyard with Olivia so he could see her new swing set.
“Would you like a cup of coffee?” Kathleen asked.
Violet smiled. “That would be wonderful.”
“That’s why I love my Keurig. I can have fresh coffee at the touch of a button.” Kathleen handed Violet a steaming cup. “There’s creamer in the fridge and here’s sugar and Splenda, whichever you prefer.”
Violet poured cream and sugar into her cup and stirred. “Thanks again for the hospitality.”
“I’m just glad to finally meet you.” Kathleen motioned for Violet to follow her to the kitchen table. “Jackson says you guys knew each other in college.”
Violet nodded. “Not well.” She smiled. “And we didn’t get along.”
“No one got along with Jackson back then.” She met Violet’s eyes. “He’s changed a lot.”
“Seems that way.” Violet took a sip of coffee and stared out the bay window at Jackson pushing Olivia in the swing.
“He speaks very highly of you. He’s really excited about your bake shop.”
Violet grinned. “The grand opening is just a little over two weeks away.” Butterflies swarmed her stomach. Soon it would be time to sink or swim as an entrepreneur.
“Jackson seems to think it will be a raging success. And being able to spot good business opportunities is kind of his specialty.”
“True. That does make me feel better.”
“I’m glad you’re here, Violet.” Kathleen grinned. “I hope we see a lot more of you.”
Violet’s heart sank. This was part of the deal she hadn’t bargained for. She actually liked Jackson’s family. It made her sad to think that in a matter of months, they’d learn there’d been a breakup and never hear from her again.
Maybe she should just enjoy one day at a time and not worry t
hat she was becoming attached to Jackson and his life.
“Told you they were going to love you,” Jackson said once they were alone in the car. “Kathleen pulled me aside earlier and told me I’d found a winner.”
Violet laughed. “Did you tell her I’m really just a loser masquerading as a winner?”
“Don’t talk that way about my fake girlfriend.” He glanced over at her. “Seriously though, they all adore you.”
“They’re pretty great, too. Olivia and Tyler drew me the sweetest pictures.”
Jackson frowned. “Yeah, I didn’t get any pictures. I don’t know about all of that.”
She laughed. “It’s just because I’m a novelty. Where exactly are we headed? I haven’t spent a ton of time in Memphis.”
“We don’t have a ton of time. Kathleen said the birthday party she was taking Olivia and Tyler to would last about an hour and a half. So I thought we’d go downtown. We’ll eat some barbecue and then walk around a little bit. Maybe we’ll hear the blues.” He grinned. “Then we’re supposed to meet them for cupcakes. Kathleen gave me directions to a place called Muddy’s Bake Shop. She says it’s one of their favorite places in town and maybe you’ll get some ideas for your own shop.”
Violet smiled. “That sounds wonderful. I’m definitely open to ideas.”
Jackson flipped on his blinker. “Kathleen felt terrible that they had something planned.” He grinned. “I told her not to worry about it and that I’d be glad to entertain you by myself for a little while.”
“You certainly are entertaining.” Violet laughed as he almost turned down a one-way street. “Do you know where you’re going?”
“I’m not that familiar with downtown, but I know where the parking garages are. I come with my friend Jeff to see the Memphis Grizzlies play a few times each season.”
“Fun.” She gave him a sideways glance as he maneuvered into the nearest parking garage. “Is Jeff the one we’re supposed to go to the Razorback game with?”
Jackson pulled into a spot and turned off the engine. “Yes. His wife, Lauren, and I have actually been friends since kindergarten.” He grinned. “Jeff started attending our school in sixth grade. I think you’ll love them. They have two adorable boys and another baby on the way.”
Wedding Date in Hot Springs, Arkansas Page 16
