PART TWO
From the top,
As the path
Traveled up
A small hill,
I looked back
For a moment
Watching
The miles of stretching green
"Jungles jungles running thin
Meet the meadows
Where hills begin"
I chuckled out loud
"Perhaps someday
I will be the poet"
I thought
I looked forward
Again
To the future path—
And the day
Seemed brighter
Over the hills
Two traveling travelers
The path upon
Still feet clung
Currents of wheat rippled
Swaying in the breeze
And sparkling dew
In the morning sun
No longer
Did I attempt
To converse
Merely-
I walked along
Thinking of future ways
And future days
After awhile
We turned a bend
And there ahead
The path divided
Forking
Into two
The right was graced
And I the left
To travel alone
Surprised
She looked over,
Across the division
Where I was walking slowly
Upon the path
"*Are you leaving me?*"
She asked
Stopping
I turned
And looked at her—
Dark brown hair
Spilled over her shoulders
And lay gently upon
Her breasts
"How much you liken the voice"
I said
"Always silent
Even when speaking,
Speaking silence"
She clasped her hands
In front
"*Practice patience*"
She said with a tone
Of wisdom
"How long must I practice?"
I asked
"How long
Till the truths shine?"
I looked to the fields
And outstretched a hand
Feeling for words
With fingers of thought
"I have wandered
More fields than a rainbow
More hills than a path
More stones than a river
More mountains than a cloud
I have wandered
More days than a sky
I wandered
The cities
The worlds
The stars
And yet
Still I search for the sun
So
Tell me not of patience"
"*But
We have
Talked - communicated*"
"No"
I said
"We traveled
The same path
Together
But we were separated—
A wall
Of distance
And still
It is here"
"*Come with me*"
She responded
With the tone
Of an underlying question
"*And we will . . .*"
"No"
I interrupted
"Our relationship
Has nothing to gain"
I turned
And walked
Down the path
I wasn't angry
Really,
But I felt
That nothing
Could be gained
From the information of silence—
Not friendship
Nor happiness
Nor love
Nor the light
Of the rising sun
"So,
It is best
That we part"
I thought
And with clinging feet I clung
And over hills and over hills
All alone again I traveled
"On with the fields of wheat
And I shall sow this garden
And see what grows
Before I track the desert again
Path of rolling hills
Of indifference
Sowing the garden as I go
Now is the time of the prophecies—
Take me to my sun
What matters?
Let me reap the light"
My confidence was high
As I walked along
Above
The sky was blue
And dotted with white clouds
Birds flew
Circling above and
Sailing over
Little animals
That scampered in the fields of wheat
The sun was warm
I thought again
Of the desert prophet—
Long white hair
And brown wrinkled skin
An old, old man
Near the gates of death
Yet a man of wisdom
With an inner eye
To see the paths
Of the future
The desert peoples
Traveled thousands of miles
To obtain his advice
They would listen to his prophecies
His philosophies
His teachings of life
Some would find sadness,
Others gladness
They would lay gifts
At his feet
In appreciation;
They knew that his were the words
Of truth
"Yes"
I thought
"Words of truth
Telling me of a garden—
This garden
Yielding
The light of the rising sun"
In anticipation
Perhaps eagerness
I continued
To trail
The day was slow
In passing
As I thought
About the sun
The prophet
The lady
Wild beasts and jungle
The desert
And other gardens—
"And now
The path in front—
To what future
Of reality
Does it lead?"
Like a snake
The path continued
Winding
Easy
And slow
As it moved
A Westerly route
Through the hills
Another day
Through the night
The morning
A few hours more,
Coiling the hills
And then-
Swaying, waving
Becoming sparse
Rolling from sight
The sea of wheat
Was gone
Flattening out
The hills were leveling
Up ahead
A path crossed mine
I passed it by
After walking
Nearly half a day
Finally
Looking ahead
The hills were gone
A plain plain planed
A vision of miles and miles and miles
The underside of flat
For miles and miles and miles
I continued on
For several days
Searching
The weather had changed
No clouds in the sky
No wind
Not a breeze
Not even an occasional gust
I looked ahead,
Watching—
Another path crossed mine
Upon the clinging path
I passed it by
The heat was stifling
If only for a breeze
Furthering distance
Another day
Ahead again
A path crossed mine
The sweating heat
Burning
Burning feet
Another path crossed mine
"Paths—
Tracking
And trailing the worlds
Like feet in the sand
Traveling
Seeking a goal
Each time
I pass a path
I wonder
'Where
Does it travel?
And
How would my life be changed
If I took this path
Instead of that?
Indeed
How would it be
If I could travel
All the paths
Live all the lives
Track all the tracks?'"
Several more crossed
At different angles
And I passed them by
"If I had infinite feet,
Then would mine
Be the knowledge of God—
Omniscient"
Through that day
And through that night
The sweating hot night
Furthering on
Sleep and walk
To the dawn I went
The breaking of day
Broke
To break the will
The rising sun
Shone through
The beginning light
Spread
Accompanied by birds (but not that day)
The cloudless sky
Blue and pink combining
Providing light
Dimly seen
Vaguely outlined
Gradually
The beginning day
I looked about
As the light intensed
I stopped in amazement
"Hundreds
Thousands
No—
Countless
Obscurity"
I looked behind be
"Where is the path
I have walked?—
Lost in the maze"
Paths crossing paths crossing paths
But where was mine?
"From whence did I come?
And
Whither shall I go?"
There was no way to tell
Which way
Was the way
Crossing Crisscrossing paths
Countless on barren land
In all directions
Away
Surpassing the horizon
Treeless
Plantless
Rockless ground
Not even was the desert so barren
I moved on—
What else?
"Finding the sun
Will be just as easy here
As any other place,
But the heat
Is stifling"
As the sun broiled down
I wandered aimless through the maze of paths
It was my hope
To come, eventually, to the perimeter
Of that Hades Kingdom—
"I will follow the path
Of the sun"
I thought
"The end of this
Confusion
Will come"
I wiped the sweat
From my eyes
And continued on
A day passed
And still
The paths were countless
On barren land
Still
Another day
Passed
As I followed the sun
In the field of paths
Stepping lower
Slower
Pushing through the waves of heat
Almost dragging
Stumbling upon the barren ground
I paused
For a moment
Straining my eyes
Searching ahead
I thought
I saw something
Standing
In the distance
"Is it a mirage?"
I wondered
Closer
Draggingly closer
"My eyes are undeceiving,
It is not a mirage
But a figure—
How to figure a figure
Out here
It is"
I wondered who it was
"She possibly knows
The way out
But possibly stranded
Too"
Approachingly closer
Hoping
My imagination
Began to take over
"Is it a woman?
Do I see a dress?"
Lifting my feet
Through the heat
Upon the plain of paths
I moved quicker
Closer
Dismayingly closer
"Wet sweat
Sweet sweat
Toiling
In the boiling heat
And all for naught
Not a woman
But a pole—
Tall
And wooden
"Why a pole
In the middle
Of a maze?"
Carefully
I scrutinized,
Observing
Upon
And around the pole
There appeared to be
Bloodstains
Sweat dripped from my nose
As I looked
At the pole
I sat on the ground
Leaning my back against 'The empty door'
Jutting itself insidiously
From the trailing maze
"Two days
And no water—"
I thought
As I watched
The sweat drip
I was lacking
Energy—
Too tired
To wipe away
My life's blood
"Perhaps
The old prophet
Saw into death—
Maybe I shall find
The light
Through the infinite darkness
Of my eyes"
I reached up
And unbuttoned
My sweat soaking robe
My hand
Flopped again
Down
To the ground
I sat
And waited—
For what?
Perhaps
To regain
Energy
Perhaps
For the sun
To go down
Still
I sat—
Sitting
Waiting
Suffocating
Drowsing
Tiring . . .
And then
I saw it—
At first
Merely a haze,
Coming closer
Through the night
I peered
I strained
For the sense
Of it
"Come closer
And
Let me see"
Gradually
The form
Takes shape—
Elegance
And radiance
In the rain
I call to her,
But then
She turns—
Movement in white
Graceful strides
The flowing silk
The moonlit hair
Running through the rain
Away
Far away
How beautiful
The falling rain
How beautiful
But oh the sadness
The blinding blinding rain
It has come
It has drowned the light
&nbs
p; And the sight of your soul is gone
To see you again
Through the dark
The rain
Come
Come back again
Come, let us be together
Love together
Write together
Yes
Let us bend quills together
Let it flow
Free and rhyme
Fiction and prose
And to the world
The drowning world
The bending river shows
But ah the sadness
Reality:
You are gone
Oh my God
My God
My Man
My Greatness
My God
You are gone
And the rain is warm
Warmer
It is hot
Running hot
It is . . .
Suddenly tense
I awoke
Wet sweat
Running warmly
Dripped from my nose
Wiping the salt tears
From my face
I looked to the trailing maze
Leaning forward
I put a hand on the ground,
Again
The other wiped away water
That stings the eyes
Was I still dreaming?
I looked
No
I was awake
And they were really there
Standing in front of me
Tall
Broad
Proud
Men and women
Such big people
Rings
Bracelets
Necklaces
Spears and knives
Scalps on belts
Such little people
But where did they come from
Upon this maze
Of paths?
There were close to fifty of them
(Including children)
Most were expressing grins
Of invidious plenitude
And many seemed excitedly anxious
Anxiously waiting
"Who are you?"
I asked
But they didn't,
Couldn't
Answer,
Instead
They conversed in a strange language
One I had never before heard
It was guttural and primitive
I thought
"Perhaps they will help me"
(But somehow I didn't think so)
"Just a palm of water,
Of life
And
A finger
Pointing the way away
From this maze"
I thought
Suddenly they stopped talking
And two white men and a yellow
Came cautiously
Forward
Toward
In moments
And a brief struggle
They had me bound to the pole;
Binding with rawhide
And tearing the skin that covered my wrists;
The rawhide soaked blood
They began to dance
In a circle
Around myself and the pole
Singing
Jumping and chanting
Running
Yelling
Spinning and rolling
Such strange people
Skins of all colors
A large white man
Tore a hole
With his spear
And ripped away my clothes—
God
But for a breeze
All
Then
Became quiet
But for the large white man—
Yelling and shouting
And jumping magnificently high
He danced a dance of epilepsy
Rippling muscles surged
Taut to the bone
Dancing to a rhythm
Rippling
Quivering
Quaking
Bulging
And relaxing
For others to bulge
He continued to dance
While the others watched
They edged to the front of the crowd
Getting better positions—some sitting,
And little children peered between legs—
And the white man continued,
He danced for the sky
Face upward
Jumping
Twisting
Jumping
Chanting
Continuing
Finally
He finished—
A violent finish
Bearing down on me
With beady eyes
Twisting and turning
Showing his
Teeth
And yelling to the heavens
Heaving his spear
Up and down
Sweat rolling from his body
Such a big man
Up and down
Up and down
Such a splendid spear
Beaming reflections
Reflecting
Bright light
From the hot, cold steel point
Such a skillful spear
Accurate
Deft
Such a violent finish
With a skillful spear
He wounded my side
The spear parted skin
Easily
Being sharp
Slicing bowels
And puncturing organs—
The spear rended
And withdrew
The anguish and blood
Tearing my brain
Borning my death
When the morning
Was gone
My eyes
Would grow dark
With the night
Ah the anguish,
But the warm blood
Was cool
Running on burning skin
In the heat
Of the day
They all rose,
Again he danced
This time,
Time
A longer dance
Perhaps waiting
For the morning to pass
But
Forthwith
He drew a knife
Glinting
And came toward
He placed it to my throat
And drawing to create
A new passage—
Blood
As I looked at him
I thought
In anguish
"Merely a movement
A mere move of his arm
To send away
From this body
Forever—
A mere merely
For forever
A mere merely
To destroy
A total world"
And so,
So quick
There it was—
The end
How should I have felt
So close
To my goal?
How unfeeling
My shaded end
To end
And begin over again
"Time has turned
My wheel of life"
I thought
In the moment
Before death
"And I have traveled
Many roads—
All leading
To the same goal,
Bringing me closer
But now
It will end—
A slip backward,
A delay
In progress
Only to begin again"
I waited
For the final pull
The slicing
Of my throat
The gushing
Of blood
And the feeling
Of horror
&nbs
p; The moment before death
I followed his eyes
As he began
To draw the blade—
But he was no longer
Looking at me
Instead
He was gazing
Behind
And
His smile downed
To a wrinkling frown
And stepping back
Carefully
With
Withdrawing the blade
Concerning
He stared behind me
Backing further,
Back to his people
They all stared
Still I waited,
The dance
The knife
The end
My body waited
The eternal wait
The dead weight
My soul would be free
Together
They huddled closer
The leader
Thrusting forth his spear
As if
A protecting threat
"Finish your ceremony"
I said
I waited—
Nothing happened,
Truly
A strange ceremony
I was feeling faint
The blood continued
From the rend
In my side
Still
They stared
Watching perhaps
Until death came
From bleeding
It was at that time,
As the strange people
Backed further
Over the barren maze,
As blood
Wound its way
From the wound
Down my side—
My leg
Dripping to the ground,
As the moisture
Rose
From the red stains
In waves of heat,
Through sweat bleary eyes—
I saw her—
The white white silk
Always cool
As she stepped beside
The lady of the fringe
"Such deathly timing
Why have you come?"
The leader
Protecting threatening
Protecting his people
Thrust his spear
Up and down
Up and down
Backing away
"Lady of deathly timing
Run away
Run for life
Or get behind
Before he throws his spear"
Up and down
Up and down
So cool
Unheeding
She raised her hands
To the cloudless sky
Bright blue
Peaceful
Over endless paths
Her fingers reached out
Pleading
"Plead you God?
Run away instead
And save your life"
She ignored
Unhearing
Looking to the sky
She spoke
And thunder answered
Roaring
And lightening shattered the mirrored day
Frightened faces
Looked to the sky—
Spears were dropped
Children were grabbed,
The huddled people scattered
Running in all directions away
Further and further
Merely specks
On the edge of the horizon
Falling hands
Thunder and lightening ceased
Reaching
Touching my hands
Untying my bonds
She put an arm around my waist,
A hand upon my wound
And from her eye
A smiling eye
Flowed a subtle tear—
A lone tear
To keep moist the heart
I was happy to see her
But I knew
That death was with me;
I wanted not
To lean too heavily
Upon her;
I staggered forward
A step
And slumped to the ground
Darkness fell heavy
Upon my world
Ad Infinitum Book One Master of the Nine Steps Page 7
