by Lace, Lolah
“So your reflection period obviously is over.”
“Well this guy I met today was different.”
“Different? Girl all these fools the same.” She laughed out loud. Tangie talked so much shit but she was a softy.
“Well first this man is white.”
“You and a white man.” Her neck snapped back. “I’m not feeling that.”
“I dated ah what’s his name. He was white.”
“I’m sure he still is white but he was seventeen and you were seventeen. All yall did was kiss and hold hands.”
“Damn you remember everything.” She didn’t even know me then. I can tell her a story one time and she will remember every little detail.
“Well yeah that’s true. He was almost like my first real boyfriend.”
“No you never had sex with him so he doesn’t count.”
“He fingered me and felt me up.”
“That doesn’t count.” It sure counted when Bash did it. “So whatever, you going on a date with some white man.”
“Yes.”
“What’s this devil’s name?”
I rolled my eyes. She laughed and I did too. “Sebastian.”
“Did you meet him at work?”
“No at the police station.”
“He’s a cop?”
“No he said he developed computer software. I’m not sure what that means.”
“What kind of White man is he?”
“The white kind?”
“Is he trying to be black?”
“No.”
“Is he like biker construction worker type?”
“No, he wasn’t in a suit and tie when we met. But I think he’s the suit and tie type. I don’t know much about him. He’s divorced. He drives a Porsche. He has a friend from high school that’s a detective. And the computer software thing.”
“Do you know his last name?”
“Yes.”
“Do you want me to do an Internet search on him?”
“Yes, no, yes, no. I don’t want to know anything yet. It’s just the first date and I just want to see what happens.”
“Oh-Em-Gee. You like this Cracker.”
“Girl stop. I don’t like him. He’s just different. He’s such a good kisser.”
“Damn, you kissed him?”
“He kissed me.”
“Did you kiss his ass back or was you acting stuck up?”
I pressed my lips. I will ignore that question. “He even texted me just now. I just saw him and he texted me.”
“That’s against guy code. That’s pretty smooth. What time is your date?”
“At seven, separate cars. I’m meeting him at La Bistro Cabernet.”
“That place is nice. You’ll love it.”
“He is so fine.”
“What’s fine for a white man?”
“He’s tall, blonde, with these silver blue eyes. And his body is like a Calvin Klein model. I just hope he’s not a jerk.”
“Think good thoughts.” I rolled my eyes. “He got a date with you fresh off a breakup so he must be a good guy. You are a total bitch to every guy that comes at you after a breakup. So he must be cool if he broke down that six month reflection mirror four months ahead of schedule.”
“I love you. You always make me feel better.”
“It was the least I could do. I ate your last piece of chocolate cake.”
CHAPTER 4
★FRIDAY NIGHT★
I sang in the car as I drove to La Bistro Cabernet. I needed something to calm me. I tried Chaka Khan. Then I tried Rihanna. Badgalriri fit the mood. I put Rude Boy on repeat. I was nervous and I hated myself for it.
This man had my mind messed up from the moment I laid eyes on him. I had tried on three dresses before I settled on this ivory one. I had to give off an air of confidence with a man that made me cum in my car a few hours ago.
I felt sexy. No, scratch that. I am sexy. I rocked my nude patent leather pumps. My dress was sitting in my closet waiting for the right occasion, the right man. A man that I could get down and dirty with, without me having regrets. Yes I was a sexy beast tonight. He made me feel that way.
I had on more make-up tonight. Restaurants usually had dim lighting and I was trying to really be in runway model mode. I wanted Naomi Campbell and Tyra to think I was doing my thing.
I parked and got out my car. I walked over to the stairs that lead to the restaurant. Bash was waiting for me at the entrance of the restaurant. Bash met me at the bottom of the steps. He took my arm and led me up the stairs. He was a perfect crutch. A lifesaver because falling in these high heels on this cobblestone was really not sexy at all.
“Wow, you look great.” His eyes lit up and made my cheeks blossom.
“Thank you.”
“Our table is ready early.” He phrased it perfectly because I knew I wasn’t late.
“Great.”
He took my hand and led me into the restaurant and right over to our table. Bash was so damn tall. He was like a tree. He could shade me with his height and just completely block the sun out if it wasn’t already about the set.
La Bistro Cabernet was elegant but dimly lit with candles at every table. The place had a purplish hue to it but that was probably the lighting.
Bash was wearing a reflective silver button up shirt that hugged his chest and showed off all the time he put in at the gym. I hope he works out because if he was naturally fit I was way out of my league.
He was wearing black pants that were fitted but not tight. They were straight legged like he was young or European. They looked good on his tall frame. He really looked yummy. There was something about his clothes that made me feel like I was with a young mafia don. He pulled out my chair. I smoothed the back of my dress and took my seat. He sat across from me as I tucked myself under the table.
“I wasn’t sure if it was okay but I took a cue from earlier today and ordered for you.”
“No that’s fine.”
Silence took over the table. We glared at each other like we were looking at celebrities. His fingertips rubbed the tablecloth and I flashed back to his fingers on my clit. I blinked the images away.
“How was your free day?”
“Good.”
“Did you get some things taken care of or did some rude guy distract you?”
“The guy wasn’t rude.” I was just listening to Rude Boy in my car. I swear Bash can read my mind.
“He wasn’t.”
“No he was a little handsy, fingery.”
Bash chuckled and it looked good on his face. “You’re funny.”
“So Bash, how was work today?”
“It wasn’t the best day. I tried to acquire a start up company and lost it to a competitor. After that debacle all I could think about was seeing you again. Our time together in your car was the highlight of my day.”
“Really?”
“No, I’m lying. It was the highlight of my year.”
I couldn’t contain my smile but I was trying to. “That was a real compliment.”
“Why do you do that?”
“Do what?”
“Try to hold back your emotions.”
“I don’t think I do.”
“You do. Granted I don’t know you well. But you can be whoever you want to be around me. I would never judge you.”
“People say that but it isn’t true.”
“I’m not people. I’m Sebastian.”
“You say one thing that people don’t agree with and they judge you for it and use it to threw back in your face at a later date and time.”
“I don’t do that.”
“Maybe you do. Maybe you don’t.”
The waiter walked over to our table. We all exchanged pleasantries as he poured wine into our glasses. Bash must have picked it before I arrived. We had Cuisses de Grenouilles à la Provençale. Which was Frog Legs, Garlic Spinach and Brown Butter Sauce for hors d’oeuvres.
The food came moments later. We both h
ad Filet Mignon de Bœuf Grillé Au Jus De Cuisson. Bash told me it was Beef Tenderloin Grilled in a Thyme Au Jus. We also had Mushroom fricassee, Mashed Potatoes and Haricots Verts.
The food was delicious but did I honestly think anything less of Bash. He had excellent taste. I didn’t mean me per say but I think any guy that picks me has good taste. I’m not ever bashing myself again. That was the old me. That was the thirty year old me. I’m thirty-eight but I look thirty-two. So yeah any guy that picks me has damn good taste.
It was nice to eat without reservation. I wasn’t nervous like at first. The more time I was around him the more at ease I felt. We talked a little through dinner. Once the waiter removed our plates, I had a feeling things would get a little deeper than it had before.
I wanted to get to know him better. I knew there was more to this man. He gave up a lot. I can’t complain. I just wanted more. So I asked.
“Nina, tell me something bad about you.”
“You go first.” I tossed the ball back in his court.
He chuckled. “Are you going to judge me harshly when I share?”
“I don’t know. Honestly I just don’t know.”
“Why don’t you just ask me a question and I will answer it honestly. Then I can do the same to you.”
“Okay.” I agreed.
“You go first.” He took a sip from his wine glass.
“Have you ever called anybody a nigger?” I don’t know why I asked that. I mean was I really trying to ruin this date? Sometimes words fly right out of my big mouth.
Bash smiled. “Before I answer can I ask why you asked me that question?”
I felt terrible but it was out there now. “Sure, I asked because of a stereotype. You are German and you seem pretty proud of it. You know you are that quote-unquote master race.”
“Nina Nina you are a treasure.” He chuckled. “That master race comment is so funny.”
“I’m glad you are amused.”
“You came right out the gate with a race question.”
“A question you have yet to answer.” I raised an eyebrow because he was being evasive. I wanted him to know that I knew what he was up too.
Bash leaned into the table. “Yes I have called someone the ‘N’ word before.”
My heart was beating a little quicker. I wasn’t sure if it was because he was being honest. Maybe it was the anger the word provoked. He could have just lied. He didn’t lie. I need to hear more but his eyes are on me. I’m frozen.
“Do you want me to elaborate or was that all you needed to know.”
“Ah, I mean--”
“I didn’t have a good reason. I don’t think there is a such thing. I was fifteen at that time. I said it to be cool but it didn’t work out the way I planned. I had gotten into a verbal confrontation with this black kid.” His eyebrow rose. “African American kid. Nothing major but when I felt cornered I lashed out and said it. I can’t tell you what I was thinking because it rolled off my tongue like it was natural although I had never said it before.”
“It was natural?”
“Maybe not natural but it was easy. I didn’t know how hurtful it was. I lost my best friend that day. His name was Marco Depalma. Marco heard what happened with the black kid and me. Marco showed up at my house after school. He told me his grandfather was black. He told me I was a racist and he couldn’t be my friend anymore. Marco was Italian. He was white to me. I never even thought beyond that. Well he punched me in the eye and ended our three-year friendship because I called some kid that we didn’t know the ‘N’ word. I had learned so many life lessons in that one day. I missed Marco like he was family. To me he was family, like a brother. He was my best friend. One stupid word and it was over. I tried to hurt some kid and ended up getting hurt in return. I learned so much that day. I have never told anyone that story.”
I wasn’t sure what I should say. I asked for this and I got it. I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to be outraged. Maybe I was desensitized to the word. Maybe I believed his story or did I just like him so much that I was just going to graze over his little confession. His eyes were sad and sincere. I don’t think he could fake that.
“Nina are you judging me?”
“I’m not supposed to, right?” I smirked.
“No you’re not. But you look like you’re going to call the NAACP on me.”
“Huh.” I shrugged. “I might call Reverend Al Sharpton.” I mumbled.
Bash smiled. “Don’t mask your emotions.”
“I’m not masking them. I’m not sure how I feel. I’m not surprised. That’s all I can say. I’m not surprised.”
“Maybe we should stop this overload of honesty if you’re having a hard time with it.”
“No, I’m cool. It’s your turn. Ask me something?”
“Let me see. What is the worse thing a person can do to another person?” Bash looked into the sky. It was cute. The question wasn’t on the ceiling. “Oh, have you ever killed anyone?”
“No, have you?”
“No, my turn. Have you ever terminated a pregnancy?”
“What?” His first question was weird and this question seemed so random. Then again mine was too.
“You asked a racial question so I think I’m entitled to a medical question.”
“Yes I’ve had an abortion. You never asked but I don’t have any children.”
“Okay.”
“No follow-up questions?”
“No I’m not here to judge you. I’m here to listen.”
“How long have you been divorced?”
Bash looked down at his ring finger. There was no ring. He tried to hide it but I saw it and it made me think.
“It’s been ten years.”
“You never thought to remarry?”
“I never met anyone that was a match.”
“So no one measures up to your ex-wife?”
“No it’s not that.” His brow furrowed.
“Are you still in love with your ex?”
Bash searched my face in a weird way. It was like he was looking for some devious intent in my question. “I’m not in love with my ex-wife.”
“Well that’s good to know?”
“Are you still in love with your ex?” He turned my question on me.
“No, I never was in love with him.”
“Well that’s good to know.” He mocked me.
“I was at the police station filing a restraining order against him. He has been acting strange since the break up and I wanted to take precautions.”
“You dumped him?”
“That’s harsh. The relationship ran its course. He cheated. I found out. It was long overdue. Yes I dumped him.”
“One man’s loss is another man’s gain. Maybe I should send him a gift card.”
“Really?” I giggled. I think I had enough wine.
“Being here with you is all the gift I need.”
“You are so smooth. You have all the right things to say.”
Bash frowned. “I’m not trying to be smooth. I’m just being me.”
“I didn’t mean anything negative by it.”
“I didn’t think you did. I don’t mean to come off that way. I haven’t dated much.”
“Since the divorce?”
“Yeah since the divorce.” Bash shifted in his chair and it wasn’t in a graceful way.
“How long were you married?”
“I was married for twelve years.”
“What happened?” I was prying and I didn’t care. If things went left I could just get in my car and leave. I would bet money he cheated. He’s a natural flirt.
“Things happened.”
I hissed but didn’t even try to. “That’s a vague answer.”
“Ah, it’s, it’s complicated.”
This ex-wife was making him stutter. I know I should lay off but to hell with that.
“We’re not judging each other, remember? Did you cheat on her?”
“No, I would never do that. I take com
mitments very serious.” He leaned into the table and held my gaze. My heart raced. His warm calm eyes suddenly turned frigid.
“Okay.” I was ready to leave this topic alone. I didn’t want to upset him. I cared about upsetting him. Shocked me too.
“My wife, ex-wife.” He corrected himself. “She betrayed me.” His eyes jetted to the left and then back on me. “She, Caroline.” He coughed out her name like it disgusted him to put the syllables together. “She wasn’t who I thought she was.” He closed his eyes slow before pressing his lips together. He opened his eyes when I opened my mouth to speak.
“I’m sorry to hear that.”
“I’m not.” His words were so unemotional. They didn’t match his face.
I decided to lift the mood. “I’m so glad you’re on the market. You are on the market right?”
“Yes I am.”
“You don’t have any psycho ex-girlfriends lurking out in the parking lot?”
“No I don’t.” He smirked with only half of his mouth. I watched in awe as he licked his lips. There was no way in hell I was going to let him out flirt me. I got this flirt game on lock, Dimples. “I’m all yours.”
“Are you sure you want to be all mine?” I cocked, not tilted. I cocked my head. I got you Dimples. I smiled.
“I’m so very sure of it.” Bash bit his bottom lip into his mouth and raised a single eyebrow.
“What are you doing with your mouth?” I asked because I refuse to let him entice me out of this cute white lace thong I’m wearing.
“I’m remembering what your nipples taste like.”
“Oh.” He’s winning.
This guy right here.
His eyes were making me hot. He wouldn’t say anything. His eyes just bore into me. We were silent while we both eye fucked each other at a distance. I thought about his mouth all over my body. I thought about him hitting it from the back. I thought about wrapping my legs around his waist and taking him deep inside me.
This was just day one. Somebody better strap a suicide vest on me. I’m about to explode.
His voice jolted me back to my surroundings.
“I want to see you tomorrow.”
“You do?”
“I hope I have earned another date. I was good. I kept my hands and fingers on my side of the table.”
“Yes, you did. You didn’t get handsy or fingery.” I smiled thinking of the hot slutty mess I was earlier.
