by Nicky Shanks
It’s Casey.
“H-Hey.” His voice is weak. “Sorry to surprise you…I got your address from Oliver’s apartment. I’m looking for him so we can talk.”
I snort. “You and me, both.” I wave my hands at him, gesturing him inside. “Come in and join the party; I haven’t heard from him.”
He smirks and sits down on the sofa, stretching his legs like he belongs there. I’ll admit, Casey is a pretty easygoing person to be around. I know he’s had his difficulties with Oliver, but that doesn’t mean I can’t be his friend. I need all the friends I can get these days since it’s hard enough to trust one person.
“So, did you see that wreck down the street?” he asks, his eyebrows rising as I sit on the opposite end of the small sofa. It’s still close enough to be a little uncomfortable. “I passed what was left on my way here—that must’ve been a damn mess.”
I nod. “It was. I saw it when my nephew dragged my brother and I out for ice cream.”
Casey’s smile is warm and wide. “That’s pretty cool. I don’t have any real siblings…none that I can say I’ve known as a sibling, anyway.” The flush in his cheeks lets me know that he’s said too much. “I’m sorry; I’m not here to drag your mood down.”
I still haven’t heard from Oliver. That thought has to be pushed to the back of my mind or I’ll explode.
“What really happened with you and Oliver?” I blurt.
Casey doesn’t get angry or defensive; the sadness of the breath he exhales tickles my skin. It’s hard not to like him and his all-American boy demeanor, but it’s also hard to not respect Oliver enough to feel a bit uncomfortable about getting into his business like this. I know Casey had sex with Heather at least twice, including once while he was involved with Nora, but not much beyond that.
“I slept with Heather when they first started dating—I’m talking about within the first few weeks.” His back straightens and he frowns. “That doesn’t excuse it, but it happened. I didn’t know he would keep her so long…they were so different that I thought he’d tire of her and he’d never find out.”
I shake my head. “That’s horrible. So, what? Oliver and I are different—are we not meant to be?”
“That’s not the same. It’s not that you and Oliver are different people…you’re different from anyone he’s ever been with. Maybe that’s the key to his happiness.”
I swallow the lump in my throat. “You’re a good friend, Casey, even if you think otherwise. Oliver told me that you helped him look for me at Lake Reed when I ran off—only a good friend would set aside their own crap and help someone they care about.”
He makes an agreeing noise and looks down at his hands. “Can I talk to you about something…more personal?”
I nod. “Of course you can. We’re friends, right?”
A slight smile spreads across his face. When his chocolate brown eyes meet mine, a sense of security washes over me. The same safe feeling that Oliver gives me.
Oliver.
Where is he?
Casey clears his throat. “Well, you know that obviously Nora and I broke up.” The sadness is placed perfectly in his voice. “I can’t say that I blame her. So, I know where I fucked up, but why do you think I did it?”
Oh.
Well, how should I know?
For the sake of friendship and trying to ease his troubled mind—to take my mind off of my own troubles—I take his hand into mine and pat it like you would a crying child. It’s weird, holding the hand of someone else, but Casey needs some sort of comfort and I need to take my mind off of where the hell Oliver is and what he’s doing.
“I don’t know, Casey. I don’t know you that well. I mean, I guess I would say that maybe, deep down, you wanted something different but were afraid to end it with Nora? She liked you a lot—and I love Nora—but she’s not exactly known to be…monogamous, either.”
His eyebrows rise. “Oh? She didn’t—”
I shake my head instantly. “No, she never cheated. Why people do that is beyond me. I’ve never been a person to have my cake and eat it too.”
Casey’s laugh is fresh. “You’re pretty much a saint, Julie. Maybe someday I can find someone like you to tie me down.” He winks, and it makes me let go of his hand. I don’t want to even think about Casey flirting with me; this isn’t an okay situation to put myself in.
“Sorry.” He lowers his gaze to his lap. “I didn’t mean to make it awkward.”
Oh, this poor guy.
No…think about something else. He doesn’t need you to save him.
“What do you want out of life, Casey?” I ask. “What do you really, really want?”
He doesn’t waste time thinking about it. “I want what Oliver has.”
Oh, crap.
“I want what you and Oliver have, let me be clear.”
The sick feeling in my stomach fades. “Oliver and I aren’t perfect, Casey. We have our faults and we drive each other crazy.”
He scoffs. “No, you don’t get it. You made him into a whole new person. Before you, he was…lost. He slept with a different woman every night.” He notices the grimace on my face but keeps going. “And he literally didn’t care about anything except working out and getting that next one-night stand. You changed him, Julie. That’s what I want.”
“You can change yourself,” I say. “You don’t need someone to do it for you.”
“But Oliver did.”
The unrestrained annoyance is seeping out into my voice. “Casey, your first problem is that you need to stop comparing yourself to Oliver. He isn’t perfect. I’m not perfect, and you aren’t, either. That’s the beauty of things: you can be whoever you want to be. Don’t strive to be someone you’re not.”
Before he can answer, my phone starts to ring in my hand. I look down and notice that it’s not a number I recognize, but I want to get out of this conversation with Casey. I answer the call.
“Hello?”
“Is this Julie Remington?” a woman asks.
I take the phone away from my ear and check the number again. I figured it must be someone from the clinic following up with me.
“I looked at the results—everything is okay,” I say.
I hear loud beeping and voices on her end. “I’m not sure what you mean. This is Nurse Mary Callahan at Rockford Memorial. Do you know an Oliver Jackson?”
The phone drops from my hand onto the floor. Casey looks at me, puzzled, then picks up the phone and greets the woman himself.
I’m going to throw up.
“I understand,” I hear Casey say, and his hand is around mine again, squeezing and letting me know that he’s here for me. I don’t wrap my fingers around his, but I don’t take my hand away, either. I need his comfort because something bad is about to happen…I can feel it. “Yes, we’ll be right there.” He hangs up the phone, shoving it into his jeans pocket.
He says my name, but it’s like he’s a million miles away.
“Hey…” The softness in his voice shines through. “Did you hear me? Oliver is in the hospital. We have to go.”
I can’t move.
“Julie.” Casey’s voice sounds closer now. “Come on, we gotta go.” I feel him pick me up and start to carry me outside. The rain is now a light mist, so the heat coming from his body is calming…and terrifying. I squirm in his grip, signaling for him to let me go, and he sets me down on the sidewalk in front of the house. His eyes are wet with tears.
“I can walk,” I say, my voice raspy. “Can you drive?”
Casey nods. “I won’t let you down.”
Oliver, I’m coming. I need to see you.
Dead or alive.
Chapter Eight
Heather
The rest of the lunch with Lucy grew awkward as time dragged on. I listened to Lucy talk about her job at the boutique for over an hour, and when the bill came, she happily tugged it from my limp grip and handed the waitress a gold card. For someone who lives in Boxwood, she dresses and spends money li
ke a Rockford socialite. I should know.
“Drinks?” She smiles and slips her wallet into her handbag. I finish texting Brandon, telling him to meet me at the hotel, and look up at her amused face. “There’s a rustic bar a few blocks away called The Tavern I’ve had some luck getting a few free drinks in. I went home with someone last night, but it…didn’t work out.”
I know that bar—Oliver loved it.
“No, I have someone waiting to hear from me.” I sweetly smile. “But thanks for the offer. It was great catching up. I needed someone to talk to.”
Even though she didn’t let me get a word in edgewise.
The look on her face confirms that she can see right through me. “Well, anytime. I’ll see you later, okay? I’m going to find me some trouble.”
I let her walk the opposite way from me without a second thought. I don’t know what I was thinking; Lucy isn’t the same kind of person anymore. She isn’t going to help me find myself again. The only thing she’s going to do for me now is take all my free drinks from guys if we ever go out together.
The walk back to the hotel is peaceful, but I know what’s waiting for me there, so the peace doesn’t last long. Alejandro narrows his eyes at me when I walk into the lobby, but I don’t care. There’s not much more he can do to me now.
Brandon meets me at my door and smiles. “Took you long enough.”
I snort. “Did you ever even leave the area?”
I turn the door handle but the keycard doesn’t work; my face flushes with embarrassment. I start to panic when I can’t get in a second time. “Everything I have left is in that room,” I choke out. Tears sting the corners of my eyes. “I have to get in there.”
He watches me with sad, deep hazel eyes. “I paid the outstanding balance on the room and bribed the concierge another hundred to let us get inside one more time.” He holds out a new keycard and slides it between my fingers. I grip it tightly, not understanding anything I’m feeling right now.
The new card works and we open the door; my things have been untouched, and I breathe a sigh of relief. When he shuts the door, my phone dings in my pocket.
Lucy: Thanks for catching up! We’ll do it again…soon.
I read the message and feel pain in my chest.
Jealousy.
Motivation.
Something like that.
Brandon sits on the white loveseat in my room as I pace back and forth in front of him. I still have the last two pieces of my life stashed in my pocket; I’m hoping that Brandon’s offer is real and I won’t have to sell them.
“Can you sit the hell down?” he says. “You’re making me nervous.” I instantly park myself in the matching armchair across from him. I cross my legs and his eyes are hungry as he watches my bare skin where my capris ride up. “So, what’s your answer?” His voice is softer now, like someone is listening in on us. My mind races when his dark eyes meet mine and his lips turn up into a wicked smile.
“If you’re sure it’s okay…I’ll take you up on your offer,” I tell him. “But I’m not exchanging sex for a free room, if that’s what you’re thinking.”
His laugh is smooth and intoxicating. I’ve never met anyone quite like Brandon before—his presence is just so demanding and controlling that it sets me on fire. Not to mention, he dresses like he owns a yacht or something. He crosses his long legs. “That thought never crossed my mind. I don’t want sex in exchange for kindness. I can get sex anywhere I want.”
I scoff. “Oh, really?”
He nods. “I can get people to move your stuff, if you don’t want to do it.”
“I’ll definitely take you up on that.”
Brandon snickers. “They aren’t so much movers as eager law interns.”
I blush in embarrassment. I don’t have much left other than what’s in my pocket and littered around the room. Brandon takes my hand, pulls me out of the room, and into the elevator; with his free hand, he’s texting someone on his phone. Once his attention returns to me, he squeezes my hand like Ollie used to do when we first started dating.
At the beginning of our relationship, Ollie and I were so vanilla that people couldn’t even stand to be near us when we were together. He gave me everything I ever wanted, and I basked in it until it became a game to me. Then suddenly, I found myself competing for his attention after his grandfather died—with all the business he had to finish up in New York, I wasn’t number one anymore.
My sister, Kate, and her husband, Chris, came into town for some sort of convention and stayed with me while they visited. On the second day, Kate made plans to meet up with some of her new friends, leaving Chris to wander alone by himself in a city he didn’t know.
We stayed in, downed an expensive bottle of scotch, and…well, one thing led to another. Oliver got home early, found us, and called my sister to come back to our apartment for a “surprise.”
Days after he caught me in bed with Chris and I was packing my things to leave, I found the diamond engagement ring in Oliver’s drawer, and the rest of my world crumbled. Not only had I hurt both Ollie and my sister, but I’d also lost my one chance at ever being his wife.
He’ll never speak to me again, let alone ask me to marry him.
That’s Julie’s place now.
For a brief moment, I think of trying to be nice to Ollie. I think about calling Julie and trying to fix things with her, but honestly…I don’t even have much good karma saved up yet. The more I look at Brandon and the darkness looming over him, the less I care about Ollie. I have a burning feeling that he needs me, somehow. He wants the same kind of love that I want.
Ever-lasting.
Like wildfire, spreading so quickly that it catches both people up in flames before they even know what’s hit them. That kind of love.
Brandon seems just as messed up as I am, though. Would us as a couple just make things worse?
He notices me staring at him and corners me in the elevator, the wicked smile on his lips again. “You’re gorgeous.” His lips graze mine, and his mint toothpaste makes me dizzy. “I’ll never let you forget that.”
My legs are jelly as I try to resist him. I fake a snort and push him away, making sure I touch his chest and feel the warmth that I’ve missed having next to me. I bite my lower lip so he can see it. “I think you’re just a little too wound up for me right now,” I whisper, backing away a few steps. “Maybe I should just go back to my room.”
I smile at my play in our little cat-and-mouse game. When the elevator opens, he grabs my hand again and drags me through the lobby and into the cold, late September air. My lungs expand a few times, trying to catch my breath from his brisk tug-a-long when he catches my eye. The smile he throws at me is gentle now, and I feel like it’s just for me.
A flash of hope floods my veins.
I can forget everything and start anew with Brandon. I can be a better girlfriend, a better person.
“Get in,” he says, opening the passenger door of his black Audi for me. “Let’s get away from here.” I do what he says and he shuts the door behind me, locking me inside. There’s no going back from here as he jumps in next to me and speeds off before I even get my seatbelt on. The coldness in his eyes returns as he looks around the streets and weaves in and out of traffic.
He is really scary sometimes.
“So…” He clears his throat and looks over at me. “Are you planning on getting a job?”
I laugh. “I definitely need one, but I’m not sure what I’d be good at.”
“You’ve never had a job, have you?”
“Yes, I worked when I lived with my parents in Georgia. I went to college for a few years, before Ollie—”
He growls. “Don’t say his fucking name.”
As we start to get into the higher-end section of Rockford with its townhouses and condos, the air thins in the car. He pulls into a driveway and turns the car off, looking over at me. “I don’t like that asshole…just don’t say his name around me.” He clears his throat. “Wh
at did you go to college for?”
“I hadn’t decided yet at the time.”
He snorts. “Well, not much around Rockford except retail.”
I wrinkle my nose. “I’m not a minimum wage type of person.”
“You are if you don’t have any wages at all, Princess.”
He gets out of the car, walks around to pull me out, and drags me into his townhouse. He looks around. “This is it.” He blushes. “Sorry for the mess. Your room is that one.” He points to an open door to our right. “You can put your stuff down before the rest of the tour.”
I hesitate but enter the doorway of the room. Brandon squeezes my ass as I pass him. I glare at him. “Unwanted contact.”
He winks and shakes his head, his dark hair shimmering in the light. “Lies,” he hisses, and it sends electric jolts through my body. I follow him through the house as he points out where things are, and when we return to my room, I really notice it.
Purple.
Everything is purple.
I hate purple.
“Uh, yeah sorry about the purple. I hope you like it—I didn’t have much notice to change it, really.” He blushes again. All I can do is stand in place and look around. I haven’t felt anything like this lately—feeling so…wanted.
Oliver used to treat me this way in the beginning of our relationship too. He would make me feel like I was the only girl in the world. To him, I was the only girl in the world. I try and shake him from my head; he looks at Julie like that now.
Brandon’s dark eyes are full of confusion as he watches me try and drain my sorrow. “Let me ask you something.” His smoky voice closes in on me. “Do you think two people like us can ever find honest-to-god love?”
“I hope so.” I sigh. “It seems like bad things we’ve done in the past always haunt us, huh?”
